two can keep a secret if one of them is dead

“I won’t tell you that I miss you, instead i’ll scribble in my notebook all the words that linger on my tongue but can never quite be released. I won’t tell you that I miss you, instead my pen will be the receiver of the months of unsaid words between us. I won’t tell you I miss you, instead i’ll spill my soul to my friend in hopes that the raw secrets that were given will be locked away. I won’t tell you that I miss you, instead i’ll mend my broken heart with the poisonous kisses of boys who are not you. I won’t tell you that I miss you, instead i’ll spend every waking hour being the perfect student pretending I’m not actually waiting for you to acknowledge my existence. I won’t tell you that I miss you, instead every word I say will be laced with the whisper of your name and the memories of you that you left to rot away.”

“Oh how I wish I had the words to translate the mess in my mind”

“here you are creating shrines of him in your fingertips, because that was the last part of you he touched. paving gold streets that all lead back to your shattered heart in hopes he’ll put the pieces back together just like a puzzle. tearing up the horrid memories of him imbedded in your mind to make you seem less crazy for loving him. here you are, trying to recreate a love between you two that was only ever one sided.”

“I really want to tell you how much i miss you but I know i am no longer in any of your thoughts so I’ll just keep writing shitty poems in hope that one day you’ll find your way back to me”

“Oh how I wish I had the words to translate the mess in my mind”

“And I hope to god you don’t think of me as temporary.”