Head Underwater

If she previously only had a suspicion that Daina was acting odd, watching her fumble with her hands was enough to convince Riley she was right. Slightly annoyed, she felt like now there was something her wife was down right not saying. “What do you mean–what might come up, what does that have to do with the room?” her tone was laced with confusion, though in the back of her mind, she began to question if everything was okay with the baby, but as usual, Riley didn’t feel prepared to ask the right question. If she was being honest, she still wanted to avoid as much baby talk as she possibly could, for fear of revealing her lack of connection to it and hurting Daina. “I suppose, I understand that. Personally, I’d rather focus on one thing at the time–“ she sighed, trying not to sound dismissive of Daina’s idea, though she couldn’t see why it’d be a better idea than what she had in mind already, “which is, being done with our old stuff first” she added, furrowing her eyebrows as she glanced at her wife. It’s not like they didn’t have the money to get all the necessities for the baby in record time once they were ready.

Daina pressed her lips together, internally chastising herself for not bringing this conversation up sooner.  “Well, it’s possible the baby comes early, which is almost always unexpected, and a ton of other things, you know?  Things come up with pregnancies all the time, Babe”.  She let out a breath and looked to the side, blinking rapidly.  Normally, the blonde can easily sense the disconnect her wife has when talking about their baby and all that will come with it, and she’ll change the subject to avoid any further discomfort.  But now, that’s the furthest thought from her mind.  All she can think of is how she might reveal this life changing news without her wife demanding an illegal divorce on the spot.  “I get you want to get the house done before we focus on it, but the babies’ room is part of the house too.  Maybe working on it will help you feel..better about the whole thing, you know?”.  She swallowed nervously, finally looking up at Riley.  “Plus, think of all the stuff we’ll need.  It’ll pile up if we don’t get on it now”.

In silence, Riley observed her wife, wondering what was going through her mind. It felt as if she was refraining from saying something. Maybe she was regretting their decision, and this townhouse wasn’t what she expected. Soon enough Daina’s words seemed to put that thought to rest, though Riley still felt like there was something else. “Very funny” a smile reached her lips and she rolled her eyes, because Daina was quickly realizing the power she had over her. “Those hormones are making you cocky, I’m into it” she teased instead, letting the blonde lean against her. “It’s more than perfect size. Not just for us, the staff too" Riley glanced down. Deciding who got to move with them and who had to go had been a hard process now that the space had reduced. But at least the ones who were let go had found a place working with Riley’s father. “I’m content knowing most of them will stay with us” she let out a sigh, offering a small smile. “Even if we didn’t have all of this, it’d still be a long process. You better hope we don’t end up moving for many years”. Riley wasn’t expecting Daina to bring up their baby, and as a result, her body stiffened. Trying not to look so visibly uncomfortable, she distanced herself, inhaling sharply before facing Daina. “I don’t–know, is that… something you’d rather be done with soon? I hadn’t thought about it yet.”

Despite her anxious mood, the blonde couldn’t help but smile at her wife’s playfulness, appreciating the small distraction. She nodded, agreeing about the staff. “I’m really glad they’re willing to move with us”, she said quietly, picking at the fabric of her pants.  When the talk shifts to the babies’ room, Daina swallows, mentally reminding herself that she needs to tell Riley.  Her mind wanders and she chastises herself for still not thinking of the perfect way.  Honestly, the blonde was surprised with herself for lasting for so long.  She was never a very good liar.  She finally answered (a little too loud) when she realized she’d been sitting quiet for longer than expected.  “Well...maybe it’s a good idea.  With babies and pregnancy, you never know what might come up that would make us regret not starting earlier”.  She glanced at Riley, not quite meeting her eyes.  “I mean, I have no problem with being done sooner rather than later, do you?”

Riley had to keep reminding herself that she and Daina had decided to move out of their mansion for a good reason. She had forgotten just how much of a chore it was when she first came to her mansion. Now that she paced around the mostly empty master suite of their new townhouse, she sighed tiredly, trying to keep all her annoyance to herself. Turning around ,she spotted Daina, who seemed unusually quiet. She frowned, wondering if there was more than just the stress of moving going on with her wife. “I really hope you’re 100% satisfied with this place, because I really don’t plan on going through all of this again in the next couple of years” she let out a chuckle, a lopsided smile reaching her lips walking around a few boxes before settling in the only couch they had at the moment. “They said it’ll be at least another month until everything is moved out” she continued, feeling odd now that she seemed to be the one carrying a conversation. It was rarely how things worked between them.

@drdaina

Is it rude to text someone you accidentally kissed and ask to take it back?

Everyone that says no gets a cookie. 

Riley let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head in frustration. I don’t want you to stop helping people! that’s what you do, everyday– at your job” she pointed out, growing tired of constantly repeating the same arguments. “This side project went to your head and you’re not the same anymore, don’t you realize? It’s irresponsible now” she yelled, turning her back on Daina. She swallowed, crossing her arms over her chest, trying to distance herself from the blonde. She didn’t want to fight with her pregnant wife, but it was hard when she was being so stubborn. She turned around instantly when Daina said there was nothing to worry about, as if she was exaggerating the whole situation.

“Nothing to worry about?” Riley stammered in disbelief, clenching her jaw to stop herself from blurting out the wrong words. She approached again, this time gripping Daina’s wrist to stop her as she was walking away. Her heart was racing against her chest, mouth opening a few times with no words coming out. She never thought she’d ever be so terrified of losing someone. She looked into Daina’s eyes, letting out a tired sigh. “I love you, you…idiot” she shook her head, hands moving to hold Daina’s shoulders. “Isn’t that reason enough? You’re carrying my child. Our baby. That’s what changed….” her lip quivered, fear rising in her throat at the thought of Daina reacting negatively to her words. “I understand you’re angry, and that you want a better world for people. I do too, but first you need to be alive if you want to see that world”.

Daina yelled back just as loud, frustrated that she couldn’t make Riley understand.  “It’s not enough anymore!  The world has gone to shit now and just delivering babies and making sure they and their moms are healthy isn’t enough, Riley!  Not with the way things are now”.  The blonde grabbed her sweater from behind the brunette and pulled it on, convinced that nothing Riley said could keep her home.  She rolled her eyes when Riley grabbed her wrists, annoyed that she’s being stopped again.  Something in Riley’s eyes makes her stop in her tracks this time, to try to stop resisting for just a moment.  

“You...what?”. Her breathing felt shallow and everything but Riley suddenly seemed blurry.  She couldn’t have heard those words right.  Sure, she had recognized her love for her wife months ago, but she’d given up hope that the sentiment would be returned anytime soon.  Truth be told, the business with Vortex had made her too busy to dwell on it.  But now, as Riley continued to speak and validate what Daina was sure she couldn’t have said, tears filled her eyes, the sweater forgotten in a heap on the floor.  She let herself listen to her wife, and suddenly everything seemed to make sense.  The constant worry in Riley’s eyes, the resistance to solo Vortex missions, how different things were feeling.  All of that wasn’t just a ploy to get the blonde to stop fighting for the good guys, it was coming from genuine love.  How could she have been so stupid not to realize sooner.  The blonde finally let out a breath and crashed her body forward into Riley’s.  “I’m so sorry”, she sobbed, all of the emotions she’d been holding for the past few months coming to a head.  “I love you...”

“Do you?” she interrupted, knowing Daina’s arguments were becoming weaker as the minutes passed. “Because every couple of weeks, you’re handed a new mission and it’s all you can focus on. “I don’t think I’ve seen you care for your job in months” she swallowed and took a step back, fearing just for a second that Daina might bite her head off for that last comment. She clenched her jaw, expression hardening when, unsurprisingly, her wife became angrier. “All of a sudden? I recall telling you the same thing for months now” she shook her head, eyebrows knitting together. Now Daina was refusing to acknowledge their previous arguments too? She didn’t expect things to go as far as her wife deluding herself to believe this was the first time Riley had pointed out she was taking things too far. She pinched the bridge of her nose, exhaling slowly before trying again, “I’m just not willing to give you a pass anymore. This stops tonight”. Her new approach, staying level headed, flew out of the window the moment Daina decided to imply she had ulterior motives. “Do you realize how insane you sound? Christ. You can’t think of any other reason I want you to stay out of danger other than me hiding something?” she breathed out in disbelief, too shocked to be hurt, “Is that what you think of me?”

Daina laughed, a sarcastic tone lingering underneath.  She was fed up at this point, and she was done trying to hide it. People were dying, and getting hurt every day by the government and it’s policies.  Daina didn’t understand what her wife didn’t get about that.  When Riley said she sounded insane, Daina swallowed, ignoring that weight in the back of her mind for a few months that had been telling her just that.  She can’t think like that... she’s so invested in all of this already.  Instead she shook her head, walking toward the door with a huff.  “I honestly don’t know, Riley.  What other reason could you have that you want me to stop helping people and saving lives??”  The blonde honestly couldn’t think of what could possibly be on Riley’s mind. “I won’t get hurt.  You have nothing to worry about, okay? I’ll be just fine”.  With that, she turned around and continued toward the door, looking at her watch.