TOZIER / TRASH

“Is that mistletoe?”

“Are you- are you pulling down mistletoe?”

“I don’t care about tradition, you try and get me to kiss you under the mistletoe and I will punch you”

“If I hear one more Mariah Carey song I will riot”

“Remind me why I can’t kill the carolers?”

“Hum one more note of that carol and I will stab you”

“My house, my rules. The Christmas music stays on” 

“If you throw that snowball you’re declaring war”

“You’re kidding, right? I’m not going out in that snow storm!”

“I don’t care what you say, The Nightmare Before Christmas works for Christmas and Halloween”

“I can’t believe you did all this, for me”

“You don’t have to go to all this trouble, you know”

“You didn’t really think I’d let you spend Christmas alone, did you?”

“You’d make a really terrible Santa”

“It’s a time of good will, not whatever the hell you’re doing”

“Aren’t you just Santa’s Little Helper?”

“You call this decorated?”

“How on earth did you get tinsel there?”

“Wow, you really go overboard with decorations, don’t you?”

“It looks like Santa threw up here”

“What are you doing to that poor wrapping paper?”

“Exactly how much more hinting do I have to do?” 

 “Have I told you how much I hate Christmas shopping?”

“Secret Santa is bullshit”

“Tell me what you want for Christmas”

“Why are you so impossible to shop for?”

“Can’t I just give you $20 and you can buy something for yourself?”

“Please tell me you aren’t searching my room for where I’ve hidden the presents”

“I thought we weren’t doing gifts!”

“I got you a Christmas sweater!”

“How many Christmas sweaters do you own?”

“You’re wearing the Santa hat, whether you like it or not”

“One normal Christmas, that’s all I wanted”

“I’m sure what ever threat is out there can wait until after Christmas dinner”

“You invited how many people over for Christmas dinner??”

"You really can’t cook, can you?”

“Who the hell turned off the oven?!” 

“This calls for eggnog” 

“I can’t believe no one has spiked the eggnog yet”

“Just how much eggnog have you had?”

“I’m starting to regret having taught you about gluhwein”

“Oi! That’s my hot chocolate”

“Spam is not a suitable replacement for turkey”

“No offence meant, but I do not trust you to carve the turkey”

“I don’t care about anything else, the pudding is all that matters”

“Hey, binge eating at Christmas is totally justified!”

“You made gingerbread zombies?”

“Step away from the cookies.”

“Who ate all the advent calendar chocolates?!”

    episode 1 - 3

it’s okay. go back to bed.

you okay? you scared? that’s okay. i get scared too sometimes.

why are you awake?

your big brother must have scared her away. big brothers are good like that.

the big dreams can spill out sometimes.

how long do we have to live here?

do you remember that storm?

i’ve never seen a ghost.

i don’t need to say goodbye.

i need you to call me.

there’s nothing easy about this house.

this door’s been locked for years and years and years and years, so if there’s a pony in there, it’s dead.

i know you don’t need me to tell you this, but literally everything is an emergency with [name].

look, i can’t deal with this right now.

that’s why everybody dumps their shit on me, isn’t it?

where’d you come from?

i’m just kind of a germophobe. 

i know you normally prefer the company of cold stiffs.

i mean, she’s sweet enough but - pile of issues.

who’s saying it’s quick? i’m a giver.

you’re like a guy. you’re worse than a guy, you’re like a frat guy.

when i said you could live here, i wasn’t expecting the pussy parade.

i’m drawing boundaries, which is something you might want to look into.

she’s got one foot in crazy and the other on a banana peel.

we gotta get out of here right now.

you keep your eyes closed no matter what you hear. you don’t open them. you promise?

you don’t just get to call me and tell me what to do.

a ghost can be a lot of things: a memory, a daydream, a secret. grief, anger, guilt.

i’ve seen a lot of ghosts. just not the way you think.

this is the worst of the bullshit- worse than the tabloids.

i need to start a real life for my own family.

no one will come any nearer than that.

something tells me they weren’t too scared of the dark.

science isn’t an exact science, you know.

how do you spell ‘no girls allowed’?

i used to have imaginary friends, too. they go away when you get bigger.

thanks. i needed a good scare.

you just stood there and watched him loot me?

i’m going to fix her.

every house needs a heart, and this is ours.

a house is like a person’s body.

when you’re little, you learn how to see things that aren’t there.

i told you, i’m too old for tea parties.

i don’t blame you for screaming.

there’s no such thing as ghosts and you know it.

you can pay me back when you’re a famous writer.

imagine the worst thing possible, assume it’s true, and go from there.

why are you banging on the wall?

i told you she was in trouble.

you know how when you take one of your pictures, you capture something forever, just the way it is? stories do that, too.

when we die, we turn into stories.

we’re all stories in the end.

this is too much for anyone.

codeine’s finally kicking in.

she’s gonna have a pretty messed up view of death coming out of this no matter what.

i’m sad, too. so sad, i can’t even tell you.

i handcuffed him to a radiator downstairs. he’s not going anywhere.

i just wanted to say break a leg - and if you make a run for it, i’ll keep the car running, okay?

you have another nightmare?

you can sleep with me for tonight.

you’re really freaked out, huh? ease up a little.

you’re squeezing too tight.

the stairs - the third step from the top, it makes a sound.

he’s always smiling, but he isn’t happy.

when i was little, i was afraid of a lot of things.

kids like us have been through more than other kids.

the foster care system isn’t the easiest place to grow up.

do you feel cold right there?

this whole house is cold.

you’re out of mustard and you’re almost out of turkey.

you always figure out how to help.

ugh, what is that smell?

i was trying to take ownership of something that doesn’t belong just to me.

i’m trying to do the right thing.

maybe it’s a middle child thing, but i just would rather focus on living my actual life right now.

want to let go of his arm?

you don’t have to be so mean about it.

there’s a ladder down here on the wall. you can come get me.

there’s something down here!

it’s okay, baby, we’re right here.

something grabbed me! monster! it was a monster!

we didn’t know you were into…?

sorry to bring this up again, but why the hell would she go to that house?!

don’t elaborate. don’t offer information that’s not requested.

i don’t want to have to tell them that i’m fucking pissed at [name] who should have known better.

nobody ever believes me.

i believe you.

i was just out and about and thinking about your case.

you just have to trust me on this. i haven’t been wrong before, have i?

i’m sure the guy will confess if you just get them here.

i really, really don’t like that you went down there by yourself.

we’ll talk a lot more about it as you get older.

if you’re feeling overwhelmed and you think nobody will understand, you can talk to me. about anything.

i’m pretty good at secrets.

you got a couple things wrong in there, by the way.

that was really wild stuff considering that you were asleep for, what, like ninety-nine percent of it?

i’m gonna get my fucking phD.

i thought i heard somebody down here.

make up something that’s gonna piss her off less than the truth.

we barely said two words to each other.

can we take a second and talk?

what do people usually talk about?

she just needed help and no one was listening.

so should we talk about your day or would you rather come to bed?

you get in, lock the doors, don’t unlock until you see me come outside.

don’t touch me!