charlize

i can never like something normally, especially if i am passionate about it. the passion soon becomes obsession. the other day i felt it consuming me. my obsessions intrude my brain quite often... to the point that it reflects into my identity and the way i express myself.

to obsess can feel so exhausting. the people or things i obsess over are almost always fixations in my brain. i start crave the feelings they provide. sometimes i have a negative connation with these fixations because they can evoke such intense feelings within me...whether it is because i want something i cannot have, bring so much joy, or take me to places i've been before.

my current obsessions: -80s music -peanut m&ms -romance -getting older -bisou(my cat) -my grown out pixie cut -nostalgia -pokémon unite

i've been listening to 80s music almost every day for the past month. when i listen to 80s music i start to romanticize life... life with lover... a true love even. i listen to the song surrender-suicide and suddenly i am burdened with the pain of hopeless devotion. which ties into my obsession with romance.

archive from desire