i thought love was supposed to save me

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@dradula
i thought love was supposed to save me

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joy sullivan
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on account of being the avoidant yearner
“i will love you if i never see you again and i will love you if i see you every tuesday” still owns my fucking heart like wtf lemony snicket i was not and could never be prepared for that

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— Anna Akhmatova, In a Dream, tr. by Lenore Mayhew & William McNaughton
Grief is a cruel kind of education. You learn how ungentle mourning can be, how full of anger. You learn how glib condolences can feel. You learn how much grief is about language, the failure of language and the grasping for language.
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, from Notes on Grief

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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How shameful it is, to be unable to move past you after all this time.
The thought of you finding out how long I've carried a torch for you is mortifying. Please don't look, don't see how pathetic I am. Whether you react with pity or disgust, I won't be able to take it.
If you ever do find out, I beg your forgiveness; you do not deserve the burden of these feelings.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for still loving you
Cathy Park Hong, from "Spring and All"
May Sarton, "Of Grief", Selected Poems
is this a cry for help by emily austin
I wish men danced like male birds to attract women instead of doing negging and their tons of other lazy manipulation tactics

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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There is no karma. There is no guarantee of justice. There is no respiteful heaven waiting for me at the end of it all; there is no loving god who will recognize and soothe my suffering after I die. There is no one out there who will come in and save me. There are no guarantees that love or friendship await me somewhere out there if I only continue to live. I can do everything right and try my hardest and I still may fail at finding somewhere to belong, or end up dead before I get to experience any of what might have been.
Life does not follow a story, and the fact I believed it did for so long has left me devastated in its wake
Eternal Love, by Bruno Caesar