Duke Callaghan

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Everyone around here is always so weird, but it’s like today made everyone lose their minds. Maybe there’s something in the water supply.

Maybe. Be thankful we always have bottled in the fridge. [ walks into the room with what is probably the fifteenth shirt he’s tried on ] What about this one? Is this one good? Obviously it is, but for this dinner at the Montgomerys? Andy hasn’t text me back yet and I’m freaking out.

Duke! It’s excellent to see you again, how are you? How’s business? All I ever hear from Felicity’s friends these days are how they have to find excuses to come in for another check-up just to see you so you must be doing something right. Here— I was just pouring myself a scotch, let me get you one too. Dinner won’t be too long but you remember how “important” it is to mingle.

@dr-obedientprince

Joseph! Took the words right out of my mouth. I’m well, yourself? Business is booming. Seems Havensdale had quite the need for local dental care. Is that so? [ smirking ‘cause he knows damn well why they’re all coming back ] Must be the constitution of the dental engines; real leather, you know? Oh! [ presenting a fancy, hella expensive scotch to him ] For you. A thank you for the invite. I already passed along the champagne to Felicity, but I heard through the grapevine that you’re a scotch man. [ a small laugh ] Of course. I- uh... Yeah, I’d love one. Thanks.

Andy: Oh pls, there's only one #dramatique in this friendship 🙄🙄😘

Andy: Never.jpg

Andy: ...................yes, waistcoat

Andy: um, is that when you go to a christian cupcake stand and they're like 'you only get 1 free if you also Praise Him thanx' ??? 🙌

Andy: r u ready yet??😨😨

Duke: I can't believe you didn't put a kiss wtf

Duke: I'd like to retract mine.

Duke: What are the boxes? Beside that first emoji??

Duke: That was a lot of dots but ok

Duke: I honestly couldn't tell you, but sure I'll stay away from suspicious drinks

Andy: Jfc do u ever want to give me more than 10secs to reply or is that Too Much That I'm Asking For.mp3

Andy: Chill

Andy: Doctor's orders

Andy: *a real doctor

Andy: It's Felicity so it's smart by default. Less than a /grand ball/ more than a charity /gala/

Andy: Wear ur purple shirt and do a blazer which you can take off if things start getting more Casual than #fancy

Andy: PS. Under no circumstances accept a drink from Joe xoxo

Duke: There was at least 20 secs, you're so dramatic

Duke: WOW

Duke: Do you ever want to Stop Being Rude.mp3 ???

Duke: Right. Yeah, okay.

Duke: Waistcoat or ???

Duke: Why? What's he going to do? Surely can't be as bad as getting Christian'd lol

Duke (10 minutes later): wtf is getting Christian'd?

Duke: Hey

Duke: What are you wearing?

Duke: Tonight, I'm not hitting on you again, I swear

Duke: Maybe a little

Duke: Is it smart? Casual? Smart-casual? You wearing jeans and a nice top?

Duke: What should I wear?

Locklyn Hart, winner of the Miss USA pageant, has finally arrived in Connecticut for the second-to-last leg of her tour. She’s been posing for pictures and answering questions for hours, but she‘s a trouper, and is very good at hiding the fact she would rather be doing something else.

Diana Callaghan was not in the habit of watching any kind of reality tv shows, especially not the Miss USA pageant, but as she tried to cut her way through the crowd gathered in the street, she caught a glimpse of her and, boy, that was a lady. And just like that, she found herself waiting in line to get closer to her. “Miss... uh... America. A pleasure. Et cetera, et cetera. Listen, I’m going to be blunt here ‘cause that security guard of yours is giving me the stink eye, but you should drop the sash and the tiara and come get dinner with me.”

                Oh-wine? No, no no. I’m good with the whiskey. Wine is wasted on me, I’d be much happier if this was a liquor tasting party but what can you do?

Oh, thank god. You found whiskey. Please tell me you’re sharing, Del. I won’t get through this thing much longer if I have to talk any more shit about undertones. Come on, I’ll give you a discount on your next tattoo.

So good. It’s like a little party in my mouth. The flavours, the aromas, the undertones. It’s all really doing it for me. Divine. Dee-vine. Hold it right there. I totally wanna hear all about Kathy in accounting’s affair, but the buffet table is calling me. No, no. You stay. I’ll be right back.

                        Huh? Sorry, I totally spaced out.

                       I was just telling you about my new tattoo parlour. I moved from New Haven to Kreagan, so I’m hella closer to you now.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the point of quaint, small town life that it’s supposed to be charming? I’m just not feeling it.

I don’t know. Seems kinda cute to me. Better than the city any day though. But hey, hi. I’m trying and failing to advertise my new tattoo parlour in town and, yeah, here’s a flier if you’re ever interested!