s/h ; wip

‹ confession song ›

flashback - highschool

it was a late afternoon.

your best friend had dragged you all the way up the rooftop while you were in the midst of reading your novel.

you asked him curiously, “so how was your break? i couldn’t ask you earlier since i forgot.”

younghyun took a seat on the ledge and you plopped down right next to him.

“canada was great~ i met up with my old friends!” he replied.

“and a lot of them are attached,” you mentioned, recalling seeing the pictures of his friends with their girlfriends on his instagram.

reaching down and taking his guitar out of its case, he let out a chuckle.

“yet, here i am all alone.”

have you ever mentioned that high school kang younghyun was a hotshot? 

you rolled your eyes. “don’t say that when you rejected almost the entire population of girls in our school.” 

you enjoyed the light autumn breeze against your face while you lightly kicked your legs back and forth in mid-air.

“you know the song i’ve been working on since the start of the year?” he said while strumming the strings of the guitar lightly.

you turned and looked at him questionably before answering, “that song.”

“well, that song... i finished it over the break,” he announced proudly.

you were eager to hear the “highly confidential” song that he has been keeping from you. 

“promise me, you won’t laugh.” 

“ i promise.”

you do have to admit, younghyun has a nice voice.

it is the type of voice that reflects easily on your emotions, tugs at your heartstrings, and allows you to empathize with its meaningful lyrics through his calm and silky voice.

why why why do I stare at the ceiling every night?

i gave you so many hints so you can notice but you don’t

i’m serious my eyes say that i like you why don’t you feel it? my face is so obvious

i can’t stop loving you

“the lyrics dude, where-- who inspired you?” 

“just some romantic chick flicks i watched over the break. plus, listening to unrequited love songs, and reading all the friend-zone experiences on the internet.”

you joked, “out of a sudden...? who hurt you?”

he averted his eyes away. “very funny.”

“i’m joking-- the song’s really good! it talks about how this man or woman is seriously in love someone but the person’s acting ambiguous, i highly emphasize with that person you know.”

“someone friend zoned you or something?” 

“yeah! you know donghae?”

“oh my god, please tell me it’s not that guy from super junior?”

you waved off the topic. “enough of my love life. what are you going to name this song?” you asked.

he hummed, pausing for a moment to think. 

“i’ll title it ‘i’m serious’.”

“let’s hope that you won’t become your own song.”

younghyun playfully pushed you in the shoulder.

“ha. ha.”

present - the annual festival

in the dressing room, you stared at your reflection in complete horror.

“oh my god, you look so cute!” nayeon squealed.

hugging your body was a brown furry onesie, with a cute headpiece that adorned your head and a pair of fluffy gloves.

“what am i?” you asked her.

“you’re grizzly from we bare bear!” nayeon said.

“how did we end up with this theme?”

nayeon giggled, “henry went late for the department meeting, the rest of the department had already chosen their themes and the only theme left was this.”

henry, overhearing the conversation between you and nayeon, walked over and joined in. “i’m sorry about being late, and also, i hate this equally as well.”

“heavens! what are you?” you almost screamed aloud.

henry was wearing an atrocious furry green body suit, a fake bushy green mustache stuck on the top of his lips and hair was sprayed in a shade of neon green.

“i don’t even know whether i’m the grinch or charlie the bigfoot.”

“you’re going to scare people off.” nayeon shook her head in dismay.

henry sighed, “i know right! i hope people still notice my out-of-the-world looks, that’s my biggest concern.” he pointed at his ‘out-of-the-word’ face.

“hi, can i take a picture with you?”

you’re the 104th person that had asked me that. you thought, grinning through gritted teeth.

“sure, why not--wonpil!”

after wandering around and promoting around the area for people to visit your department’s store, you stumbled upon a wild wonpil nearby the game stations.

“your department theme is pokemon...?” 

wonpil, who was wearing a charmander outfit nodded his head enthusiastically. 

“you look so adorable! i wanna squish you!” wonpil cooed, reaching out and tried to squeeze your cheeks.

“i’m going to bite your hands if you do that.” you threatened playfully.

he squealed, “oh my god, that makes it even cuter!”

you saw a plastic ball flew in the direction of wonpil’s head.

before you could warn wonpil of the incoming danger, he winced as the impact on the back of his head.

“i choose you charmander!”

“what the heck! who is-- jae!” wonpil shrilled

jae laughed hysterically in the distant, earning a death glare from the poor boy.

wonpil picked up the plastic ball, aiming it in the direction of jae. 

jae managed to dodge the ball, much to wonpil’s displeasure.

dowoon (dressed as a pikachu; yellow shirt, a pointed headband) and sungjin (dressed as bulbasaur; green shirt, green plant bulb backpack on his back) joined you, wonpil and jae afterward.

the school of music got the pokemon theme. the school of liberal arts got the harry potter theme. the school of business got the royalties theme. the school of arts got we bare bear theme.

we bare bear theme practically wasn’t a thing only after the whole cartoon got really famous, replacing the highly-loved spirited away theme.

jae, who had a lightning ‘scar’ on his forehead with a circular frame was trying to mimic the famous protagonist.

“are you the bear from the revenant?”

“excuse me? i didn’t mock your suckish harry potter impersonation, plus, i can’t wait to get out of this costume.” you defended yourself.

dowoon pointed to a group in front of us, “hey, look! isn’t that younghyun?” he asked aloud.

the five of us looked at the same direction, watching a group of girls swarming and constantly repeating ‘can i take a picture with you?’ while the person himself in the middle looked completely flustered by the attention he was getting.

“i guess brian is the mvp this year.” jae commented, a tinge of the envy in his tone. “c’mon girls! give our man some space!”

wonpil bumped you lightly on the shoulder, giving you the ‘look! jae is jealous’ and you giggled. 

“hello prince charming, where’s your consort?” 

“ha. ha. very funny, sungjin.” younghyun rolled his eyes.

he turned and looked at you, and you felt your breath got hitched up in your throat. 

wearing a black suit and a golden crown right on top of his perfectly styled hair, he looked like a prince that had come out from a fairytale book. 

indeed, only kang younghyun can pull off that.

“you looked so done with yourself,” he remarked.

“i am. meanwhile, you look... great!” you replied, fixing your headband self-consciously.

younghyun squeezed your cheeks and you let out a small yelp.

“you look fine~ cute actually.”

you felt your face began to heat up, and you quickly slapped his hands away.

“remember when we used to have band practices after high school?” sungjin reminisced, his attention now directed to the campus band who was performing on the platform stage.

jae smiled. “i haven’t thought about that for a while. wow, i really missed those days.”

you smiled fondly at the memories, remembering the times when you would stay back after school just to watch them practice, listening to the sounds of melodies echoed the gym room.

“y/n was our supporter, isn’t she? she would always sit on the sidelines while she watched us frolicking around with our instruments.” wonpil mentioned.

you chuckled, “i wasn’t the only one. you guys had a huge fanbase in the school going on. you guys literally receive confessions every single day!”

a group of high-school girls would follow behind them in the hallways, often a gift or letter in their hands.

“no, you were totally different. you would bring food for us after school, knowing we would be practicing on an empty stomach, watched us practice without complaining, and give actual helpful suggestions.” 

“wow, i’m touched brian.”

your best friend groaned, “brian...? i take back everything about complimenting you.”

you felt your phone vibrated. 

“sorry guys, this is my cue to disappear. nayeon needs help with managing the store.” you excused yourself, reading the emergency text from nayeon.

“see you later paddington!” 

you shot him a glare, “let’s see how you will have to bear with the consequences later, jae.”

you found nayeon frantically preparing drinks, with many customers watching curiously at the girl who was stressed out.

“thank god you’re here! henry and a couple other helpers decided to ditch me to go watch the band perform, i’m going to kill him later.” nayeon explained.

“i’ll do the snacks. just focus on the drinks okay!” 

“thank you! you are the best y/n!” 

the both of you spent the next an hour and a half preparing food and drinks before the two of you settled all the orders.

“whew! you don’t mind if i go to the restroom for awhile?” nayeon asked.

“go ahead, i’ll be fine!” you shoo-ed her off.

you began to daydream after you were alone, gazing at the people passing you in a blur.

“hello, can i have one of those?”

you shook your head, breaking away from your reverie.

“i’m so sorry-- jinyoung!” you exclaimed.

the handsome alumni stood in front of you, chuckling at your reaction.

“you’re here!” 

“i couldn’t miss this, the festival is always the best.”

you handed him the drink. “it’s okay, it’s on me.”

“kind as ever.” 

“well, it’s rather embarrassing to see me in this state.” you sighed.

jinyoung scanned you from head to toe. “you look adorable, what are you talking about?”

“really?” 

jinyoung laughed, “two years ago, during my last year here, when the school of arts got spirited away as the theme-- i was the no-face. it was the worst.”

“that was you?” 

you recalled flipping through the past years school magazine, remembering crackling out loud at the picture of a frowning no-face.

“that’s my dark past.”

you chattered with jinyoung for a little more, catching up with him on hani, mr. han and his work life.

“y/n! oh, my god! why didn’t you tell me anything?” nayeon said loudly, rushing back to the store.

“what? what’s going on?” you asked, confused.

noticing jinyoung was there, she froze before recomposing herself and shyly greeted, “hello, jinyoung.” 

“hey, nayeon.” 

henry came running back after nayeon. “y/n! there you are! hurry over to the middle of the campus now!” he informed in between heavy breaths.

“why? are you guys okay? what’s going on?” you asked, concerned with the sudden change of behavior of your friends.

“there’s no time to explain, jinyoung can you follow y/n there?” nayeon asked.

jinyoung, who was also as confused as you, nodded his head.

“sure, i’m meeting hani there too. c’mon let’s go!” 

you and jinyoung squeezed through the crowds, heading in the direction where henry had instructed you to go.

it wasn’t far from the place where you and your 5 friends had met up earlier.

“unfortunately, that was the final song from our own campus band. despite that, it is not the end of the performance yet! we have one last-minute addition. also a band, here are sungjin, jae, younghyun, wonpil, and dowoon.” the emcee, jimin announced. 

stunned, you turned to look at the stage where your five friends were standing.

“jinyoung, those aren’t my friends... right?”

“they are. and look! there’s hani!” 

“let’s start with some self-introductions first.” jimin said.

“i’m jae, from the political science department like my boy, jimin. i’m pretty known around here, follow me on my twitter @/jaesix!”

“the audience didn’t ask for a shameless plug, okay next.” jimin rolled her eyes. jae, unaffected by jimin’s clever comeback, sent a wink towards the audience.

“hi, i’m sungjin. i’m from the faculty of music along with wonpil and dowoon. i will be playing the acoustic guitar.”

“hello, i’m younghyun. i’m from business administration course.”

“hi everyone! i’m wonpil and this guy beside me is dowoon. i play the piano and he plays the drum!” wonpil introduced both himself and the shy dowoon.

a large group of people began to gather near the stage, curious by what was happening on the stage. “i’m going to the front, will you guys be okay?” you asked jinyoung and hani.

“go ahead!” the both of them replied in unison.

you maneuvered through the gaps before finding yourself an open space at the front. younghyun spotted you immediately, sending you a small smile.

“what are you doing?” you mouthed.

he mouthed back, “you’ll see.”

“okay, what will guys be performing today?” jimin asked.

all of them turned and looked at younghyun.

“we’ll be covering two songs then sing one of our self-composed songs. pardon if we don’t sound the best, it’s been a few years since we had a band performance.” 

“let’s give them a round of applause!” jimin cheered, slowly backing to the side of the stage.

you watched nervously as they picked up the instruments. they took a moment to familiarise with the instruments and the environment before they started playing.

they started off with wonder girls' ‘nobody’ and it immediately lifted the mood of the audience and everyone began chanting the famous lyrics. 

you were awestruck. 

they certainly did not sound like a band that had gone on hiatus for a few years. every strum from the guitars and bass were on rhythm, the piano was harmonizing beautifully with the song and every stroke of the drums was on perfect beat.

you felt like you were transported back in time. you were experiencing the exact same feelings you had when you watched your friends jumped around the stage, having the time of their lives as they performed.

you truly missed this feeling.

after covering cnblue’s ‘i’m a loner’, the crowd went even crazier.

“this is a song for someone special, i hope you remember this song.” younghyun said to the microphone in english.

the meeting of two drumsticks commences the final song.

you froze when wonpil began singing the first verse.

why why why do I stare at the ceiling every night?

this song... isn’t it ‘i’m serious’? you felt a feeling of deja vu pulsed through your body.

i gave you so many hints so you can notice but you don’t

you felt your heart beating rapidly. 

“...it talks about how this man or woman is seriously in love someone but the person’s acting ambiguous.”

i’m serious my eyes say that i like you why don’t you feel it? my face is so obvious

immediately, you looked at him with an open-mouthed stare, younghyun, at the same time, made eye contact with you.

“confess, serious, feelings… do you think he has a liking towards someone?”

it finally clicked in your head. “the english phrases... they were hints?”

in the end, i just made you listen to useless things and i let you go with a smile why am i like this?

“wait...” your ears perked up at an unfamiliar part of the song that you had never heard before.

i try to start a conversation to figure out how you feel trying to pass it off as a joke but why don’t you know? i’m only looking at you

“speaking of guys, you never seemed to have a guy you like.”

“what do you mean? don’t you remember my super junior phase?” you raised your brows.

younghyun let out a sarcastic laugh, “donghae? i’m speaking realistically.”

you stroked your chin, thinking deeply. “maybe jungkook from bts? he’s cute.”

when the song ended, there was a brief silence before everyone applauded

instead of joining the majority of the audiences with clapping, you were experiencing shortness of breath as the one particular verse of lyrics rang over and over in your head.

i can’t stop loving you

i can’t stop loving you

i can’t stop loving you

how could you not realize that you were the one all along?

when night falls, it concluded the end of the festival.

ever since the end of the performance, you were at a loss for words. you returned back to the store where nayeon and henry bombarded you with burning questions.

“i...i-- i’ll tell you guys later.” you sighed, taking a seat down on one of the plastic chairs.

you kept telling yourself that it was a joke, “no way he likes me, i’m practically like a sister to him.” 

you got up from your seat abruptly, breaking your train of thoughts.

“nayeon, i’ll go change first then i’ll come back.”

you needed to get distracted, all these questions were perpetually killing you inside.

after changing out of your stuffy bear costume, you walked back to the store where students were already packing up and preparing to leave campus.

you and nayeon helped carry cardboard boxes with leftover poster back to the studio.

“wanna head for supper later?” she asked you as you closed the studio door.

you were about to excuse yourself for the night but you changed your mind quickly. “sure, i need a few drinks anyway.”

you, nayeon and henry were about to exit the campus before your conscience asked, “i wonder where’s the five of them. i haven’t seen younghyun after the performance too...”

you shook your head. “now is not the time to think about this.

henry had also invited jinyoung and hani to join along.

when the five of you were settled down at the restaurant, henry managed to break the ice by starting the conversation on his character during the festival.

“you have no idea how many side-eyes i received from people today... it was the absolute worst.” 

jinyoung laughed, “now you understand how i felt when i dressed up as no-face?”

“that’s different! people still know you are handsome under that layer of face-paint.” henry argued.

“henry please, let this serve as a lesson for you to never be late again for important meetings.” nayeon patted henry’s back.

you and hani burst into waves of laughter.

at that moment, a group of people entered the restaurant and you instantly recognized who they were.

“hey! guys! over here!” henry called them over.

oh no.

jinyoung joined a couple more tables together so that it can fit everyone. 

“yo, paddington.”

“jae, are you not going to drop that?” you sighed.

great, why does younghyun have to sit on the opposite?

“y/n! did you see our performance?” wonpil asked excitedly.

you glanced at younghyun, who was looking at you with the same curiosity before answering, “yes! you guys were amazing!”

dowoon did a little drum movement and jae awed at the younger boy’s little action.

“what did you think of the last song we performed?”

you tried to contain your shock from the question, looking at him confusingly.

“what do you mean younghyun?” you acted as if you were clueless, then bringing the glass of alcohol up to your lips.

“you’re such a bad liar y/n.” 

why are you doing this to me?

you didn’t respond much after younghyun’s probing.

your nerves were running wild in your body, causing you to fidget slightly. hoping the alcohol would calm you down, you poured the content down your throat again and again.

“hey, enough.” someone took your glass away before you could take another sip.

it was none other than your best friend.

i’m tired. you breathed out exhaustedly, getting up from your seat slowly and said, “i need to head out for some fresh air, don’t mind me.” 

once you headed outside, some of the stuffiness from your chest disappeared a little.

you spotted a little playground on the other side of the road and you turned and looked back at the restaurant. “just for a little while.” you mumbled to yourself.

the playground was deserted, there was an air of serenity and it helped relieve a terrible headache you were currently having.

you plopped yourself on the empty swing, slowly moving back and forth as you loosen your neck and let your head dropped.

“i thought we were just good friends. but now... something feels different. if... if i were to... tell you i like you... what would happen?” you spoke, allowing your feelings out in the cold night air.

you looked at him as a friend until you realized you loved him.

credits

sighing deeply, you got up from the swing. “enough dilly-dallying y/n.” you reminded yourself.

looking up, you felt your heart stopped. 

“how long have you been here?” you asked cautiously.

“why didn’t you tell me?”

you fell back onto the swing, bringing your hands up as you covered your face.

“y/n...”

“you weren’t supposed to hear that younghyun.”

“i-i’m sorry.”

“don’t be. it’s not your fault i have feelings for you.” 

uncovering your shaking hands from your face, you turned and looked up at younghyun with a forced smile, “let’s pretend you didn’t hear anything. i’m going to head back home now, please tell the rest i’m sorry for leaving so suddenly.”

“wait--”

before he could complete his sentence, you hurried off.

the next morning, you woke up in cold sweat.

 the incident of the previous night had led you to a sleepless night, despite how tired you were.

“right, it wasn’t a dream.” 

reaching out your phone from the nightstand, you checked whether you have any missed calls or messages.

0 missed calls or unread messages.

were you hopeful that he would call or text you after what happened? 

probably.

you eventually got out of bed, taking a few minutes to get prepared for school.

unlocking the door, you headed out. you told yourself no matter how much you wanted to hid from him, you have to face your own shame no matter what.

“y/n!” 

younghyun?

“oh... wonpil!”

“what are you doing here?” you asked while locking the door.

“ah, younghyun told me to come to wake you up if you overslept.” 

you pursed your lips.

“well, i will have to thank him later.”

“he says he’s sorry that he can’t walk you to school today.” wonpil relayed his message.

“it’s okay. you’re here,” you replied.

this was your nightmare coming to life, a slip-up that has suddenly caused an unplanned tension between you and your best friend. for a long time, you’ll be haunted by the fact that everything will be awkward between the two of you, he’ll be reminded by your one-sided love while you’ll be reminded by your embarrassment.

no wonder he called wonpil to walk with me to school.

the two of you walked to school together, except the fact that this daily routine was replaced by wonpil.

after a short walking distance, you and wonpil finally reached campus.

“y/n! wonpil!”

“dowoon?”

wonpil and dowoon shared a look.

“i’ll take y/n from here.” dowoon smiled, linking arms with you as he dragged you away from wonpil.

“dowoon... what is going on?”

“you’ll see.”

after climbing multiple steps of stairs and take random turns, the two of you stopped in front of the recording studio.

“once you head in, go into the recording booth and put on the headphones okay?” dowoon instructed.

you nodded your head slowly, following his instructions although you perplexed by what was going to happen.

in the recording booth, you put on the headphones carefully.

“y/n, can you hear me? if yes, speak to the microphone.” dowoon asked.

you gave a thumbs up. “yup. crystal clear.”

“someone is going take over and give you further instructions, hold on~” 

you watched from behind the glass panel as dowoon got up from his seat and left the recording studio.

“huh?” 

checking your phone, you realized you only have an hour before lecture.

“what are the two of you up to?” you were about to send a text to wonpil and dowoon before a music began to play in your ears.

in life, there aren’t many days when things go your way there are more days when it didn’t go my way will today be another one of those days? i am pretty worried

after I tell you these words i’m not sure if we can go back to smiling like we are now but I have to i

like you i tried holding it back but i can’t anymore now i can tell you i want to love you

your phone slipped out of your hand, landing on the soft carpet as you listened to the chorus.

“who?” you whispered, turning and faced the glass panel.

someone else was inside the studio with you, and it was neither wonpil nor dowoon.

it was someone you had least expected to be there with you, observing you intently with an indescribable expression.

i’ve thought of you like this but if you don’t feel the same

you just need to tell me “i’m sorry” and i’ll be fine

like you i tried holding it back but i can’t anymore now i can tell you i want to love you

you could feel the emotions building up your body as the violins (or an orchestra) joined with the final chorus of the song, and you bit your lips from trembling.

when the song ended, he finally spoke, “i hope my song expresses what i want to say to you.”

you sucked in a deep breathed, then spoke into the mic. 

“you don’t have to do this just because i like you.”

he smiled, “why not?”

why?

“you must’ve have pitied me because i’m your close friend. you didn’t want to feel bad for rejecting me because you’re afraid your guilt will eat you up.”

he let out a laugh. “y/n, why in the world would i do that to you?”

you sighed, removing your headphones and headed out.

“y/n... where are you going?” 

he held your arm just as you were about to leave the studio.

“younghyun, don’t you understand? we’re friends, for a very long time. i’m afraid after this moment, i’m not sure we can go back to being normal, being friends. i don’t want to lose you because of my feelings for you.”

he loosened his grip on your arm. 

“what if i don’t want to y/n?”

“what...?”

“what if i don’t want to be just friends, y/n? can’t you see? please, look at me. it took me a lot of courage to do this. ever since you got close to jinyoung, i went crazy. completely out of my mind. when i found out from jinyoung that you rejected him, i was ecstatic! from there onwards, i began to drop you hints... well in english because i was still scared. you weren’t the only one scared of losing this friendship y/n, i was terrified! every day, my feelings for you blossomed, and i don’t think i should hold back anymore. what i’m saying is, i like you y/n.”

you were astonished by his words.

after all, a man that you had been crushing on finally proclaimed his romantic feelings for you.

“i-i... is this a dream?” this was all you could muster out of your mouth.

sighing, younghyun lowered his body. the next thing he did literally pull the soul right out of your body.

he pressed his lips against your forehead, then proceeded in embracing you.

“is this still a dream?” he whispered in your ears.

you felt your vision blurred, a giggle escaped your lips as you embraced him back.

“you’re not crying are you?”

“stop it! these are tears of happiness, you idiot!”

a chuckle erupted from his throat, “well, that’s good to hear.”

there were cheerings from outside the door, and you and younghyun could easily guess who they were.

“wow our boy bribri beat us all here in getting a girl first!” jae exclaimed, his fingers furiously typing a new tweet talking about his single life. 

@/youngk93 got a gf today, why am i still single #whyamialone #singlelife #tindercan’tevengetmeagf

wonpil and dowoon pressed their ears against the door while intertwining their fingers together.

“wonpil and dowoon, give them some privacy please.” sungjin grabbed them each by collars.

jae wiggled his brows, “yeah, give them some privacy. go get it brian!”

sungjin continued to drag wonpil and dowoon away. “jae, can you hurry up and for once, stop using your goddamn phone.”

“hold on-- i’m reading the comments! wait--! @/jiminpark07 replied to your tweet: look at yourself in the mirror first b4 asking why you are alone, loser. dude, she’s asking for trouble.”

the day finally ended with you resting on your bed, relaxing your sore back as you looked up at the ceiling, a content smile plastered on your face.

the only sounds in your room were the snorings coming from the person beside you.

you turned and faced him, reaching out and lightly traced the side of his face.

“i always felt a little alone and scared in this small, empty apartment. however today, it suddenly felt so full, just because you are here with me.”

you slowly shimmied closer to him, careful not to wake him up from his deep slumber.

“i’d like to be with you all the time, create as many memories together as possible.”

although he never told you this yet, you are his sun, his moon, and all his stars.