♡

it’s been Months since i was on here and since i’ve written a fic. i feel like no one is going to see this or care but uh here’s why:

i’m moving to australia in april/may 2019.

and it’s really fucking exhilarating! that i’m getting to move to such a wonderful place but to get into school there, i’d nearly need a scholarship because my family’s financial situation will probably be... tight when we finally get there, at least until they get stable jobs.

to get that scholarship, i have to (duh) study really, really hard. so far, i’ve failed math in two semesters and barely passed science, and i don’t want the same thing to happen during third sem as well.

i’ve also lost any and all motivation i’ve had for things. my writing is sucky, my dancing is sucky, my grades are buried six feet deep, everything seems to be going wrong and i can’t seem to commit to even a single project at all: i really don’t know why.

but yeah! that is why i haven’t really been writing. i am working on something right now which i’ll post on my ao3 if things go as planned, but i’m still eh about it. maybe some day, in a year or so, when i’m well settled down in australia, i could start writin again. but that’s Far Away so we’ll see what happens!

however, if i do write again, i don’t really know if i’ll post it here on tumblr. i feel like i’ve lost 90% of my “audience” here. it’s still all unclear and i just wanted to post this because recently i’ve been having anxiety about this tumblr? i know nobody cares but. yeah i really wanted to tell the two, maybe three people who still stumble across this blog once in a while that i’m sorry, and that i’ll try hard to be on here more whenever i can.

word count - 1.2k

pairing - han jisung x lee felix ; jilix

genre - FLUFF!, friends to lovers, university au if you squint

famous last words - ok so i couldn’t wait to post this when i first write this but i forgot and am quite a few mins late BUT IN MY DEFENSE ganesh chaturthi is going on n i was busy with religious stuff n yh.....,.,,,, nevertheless i really hope you enjoy this!! this is my first ship fix therefore it’s a lil eh ,, and yeah i took Total Creative Freedom n gave jisung blue hair!!!!! ok so i’m gonna leave n let u read now,,, enjoy!! uwu

jisung’s heart is jumping in his chest. it’s mainly because of three reasons:

lee felix is holding his hand

lee felix is smiling

Lee Felix Is Holding His Hand And Smiling

for a no homo, yes bromo relationship, jisung sure fantasises about kissing a certain blonde haired boy, whose freckles look like the most beautiful constellation to ever exist, a bit too much. oh, and his eyes. his fucking eyes, brighter than any star to ever exist.

(and jisung is a fucking astronomy student, which means he’s really not fooling around when he says that the sparkle in felix’s eyes outsold the entire motherfucking milky way. honestly, every single galaxy, for that matter.)

“... sungie?”

jisung’s internal monologue is brought to a screeching halt when felix pokes his cheeks softly. he blinks rapidly, straightening (ha) his back.

“yeah?”

felix giggles, eyes curving into crescent moons, smile shining like the sun.

(stars, the moon, the sun — yes. jisung is very much trying to say that felix is his whole god damn universe.)

“i asked if you wanted to go get ice cream or just go back to the dorms,” says felix, swinging their hands back and forth as the two walk down the street.

jisung considers for a bit. on one hand, they could go back to the dorms and he could escape to his room and hide under the blankets, safe from the sun and The Sun.

(note for beginners: welcome to the roller coaster that is Jisung’s Emotions! you may be confused as to which sun is which. for your information, ‘the sun’ is, well, the sun; huge, hot ball of gas in the sky, kinda hard to miss. ‘The Sun,’ capital t and s, refers to lee felix.)

but on the other, jisung could spend much more time with felix and get some ice cream, which would be more of a win-win situation than the other option.

so jisung grabs felix’s hand and leads him down the street and into an ice cream parlour.

the small parlour smells like a mix of strawberries, chocolate and vanilla - sweet, but not too overpoweringly. the ending notes of a bts song are playing, before troye sivan’s angelic voice drifts through the shop.

the two boys settle at a table farthest from the door, and jisung wants to roll his eyes at how cliche that is, but he doesn’t. a cup of strawberry ice cream with rainbow sprinkles on top sits before felix while jisung sighs at how great the belgian chocolate tastes in his mouth.

(there had been an ‘argument’ as to who would pay, but jisung had relented, grinning at how he still would have money to spend on getting diamonds on cooking fever like the broke bitch he is.)

felix scoops a spoon of the cold dairy into his mouth, lips wrapping around the plastic spoon in a way that makes jisung want to kiss him. the younger boy’s lips tilt up into a small smile at the taste of strawberries, sweet and cold.

jisung combs silken blue strands of hair back, exposing his forehead for maybe a second before he hears a tiny gasp from in front. felix’s eyebrows are raised.

“you look really good with your forehead showing,” he says, and jisung finds it hard to swallow his bite of ice cream with how his throat just closes up. he manages to choke out a small thanks, and then there’s silence.

the silence is not in which a crow caws, but one filled with comfort. both know that they don’t need to speak, know that the silence is welcome and blissful.

but jisung has always felt the need to fill silences, awkward or not. and so, he says -

“wanna play twenty questions?”

felix looks up in surprise, but soon breaks out in giggles upon hearing the shorter boy’s request.

“what do i even ask you? i know pretty much everything there is to know about you.”

jisung feels his heart soar, and rests his face in his hands to hide his flushing cheeks.

“well, the silence was getting too much…”

felix laughs again, leaning across the table to gaze directly into jisung’s eyes.

“ah, cutie jisungie, can’t stay quiet can you?”

he then leans even closer and boops jisung’s nose with his finger.

(oh, his precious little fingers, thinks jisung, wanting to kiss each and every one of those soft, tiny things.)

felix, much to jisung’s relief, settles back into his seat, leaning back and scrunching his brows together in thought. jisung wishes he could photograph the moment and keep it to himself, to cherish forever.

(you may think he’s being a Dramatic Homosexual Dumbass, but in his defense, have you seen lee felix?)

“here’s your first question: what is one secret that you’ve kept from everyone?”

jisung thinks about it, but then leans forward, sheepish grin forming on his face.

“on days i can’t sleep, i spray some of the perfume my mom uses on my blankets and pillows so when i lie back down, it feels like she hugging me to sleep like she used to before i grew up.”

felix coos, smiling softly over at jisung.

“that’s really fucking endearing, sungie. ah, you’re just so cute!”

jisung nods and cracks a smile, feeling heat travelling up his neck, turning his ears the faintest shade of pink.

they’ve been asking questions back and forth for at least half an hour now when felix asks The Question:

“do you have a crush on someone?”

jisung swallows thickly, shifting slightly in his seat. he looks at felix, whose eyes are sparkling with curiosity and something else jisung cannot quite recognise. he drums his fingers on the tabletop.

jisung has no idea how what happened next, happened. maybe it was the Confident Gay in him talking, or there was something in the ice cream which made him say:

“you.”

felix is silent for a second, and jisung knows what’s coming next: a widening of eyes, a mumble of ‘i’m sorry’ and the scrape of the chair against the linoleum as felix tries to get as far away from jisung as possible.

except that doesn’t happen, and felix smiles dazzlingly before leaning over the table and meeting jisung’s thin lips with his own plump ones.

felix tastes like strawberries and spearmint toothpaste - a combination jisung didn’t think would make him feel so weak in the knees. he’s glad he’s still sitting down.

it takes jisung’s brain a bit to respond, but then his one hand is on the nape of the younger’s neck, other cradling his soft cheek. jisung leans forward and into felix’s warm touch - the orange haired boy’s hand resting on jisung’s chest as the two smile the widest they possibly can while kissing.

it feels like it’s an eternity later that the two pull away from each other, roses blooming on sun-kissed cheeks.

“you’ve still got a question left,” says felix, lips centimetres away from jisung’s. jisung is fairly impressed by felix’s ability to form actual coherent thoughts and voice them. he, on the other hand, is completely tongue-tied, brain unable to form words.

but even in his what the fuck is happening state of mind, the Confident Gay in him says:

“be the vegemite to my buttered toast?”

felix laughs, throwing his head back, small smile lines forming near his eyes when he scrunches them closed. he then pulls jisung closer, hand on the nape of his neck, fingers fiddling with blue hair as he leans in and captures jisung’s lips in his once again.

“yes, i’ll be your boyfriend.”