Doddles and Scribbles

Catelyn traced a finger along the brim of her cup. She tried not to let her eyes drift away from Dacey Mormont’s face, and was failing. Dacey had interesting things to say and initially Catelyn had happily listened, but then she had realised that she saw her husband nowhere.

She had glanced towards where she had thought he would be, and when he wasn’t there she had looked over the hall. She hadn’t found him. It wouldn’t have worried her in the least if it hadn’t been for that wretched servant girl that she couldn’t find either. Of course Catelyn had noticed the way Rhya looked at her lord husband, she wasn’t blind. She had been bothered by the lack of shame, the way it didn’t matter to Rhya that she was sitting right there, but it had not gone further than deep annoyance. Ned had only politely returned the girl’s conversation, had not entertained it particularly much. But that was before both of them had disappeared from the hall.

The notion of that there were some girls who wished Lord Stark would father a child on them hadn’t escaped Catelyn. The dream of a child of theirs being raised almost as well as Lord Stark’s trueborn children. He already had one bastard, that bastard was a close companion to his eldest trueborn son. What said the same could not happen again?

No matter what she did Catelyn could not escape the insult that was Jon Snow, and she knew that was Ned to father another bastard she would soon have another insult eating in her hall. That was the man she had wed, that was his way. He could fuck however many women he wished, that was his right and Catelyn could forgive him for it, but he hadn’t done so since Jon Snow’s mother. She was glad for that he had found what he wanted in her, that he returned her affections, though the love between them didn’t stop those who saw an opportunity. And she could not do a thing about it, had to sit there and wish for that the years of love would keep her husband in her bed.

Dacey interrupted herself and looked over her own shoulder. Then she turned back to Catelyn.

“What are you watching, Lady Catelyn?” she asked.

“Oh, nothing” Catelyn said, forcing a smile upon her face. “I have been so busy as of late, my mind is wandering. I apologise.”

“You needn’t apologise.”

“Repeat what you said, please.”

So Dacey did, and that time Catelyn really did listen. She listened, she nodded and smiled, shared her own thoughts. She managed to forget her internal quarrels, put her head into her conversation with Dacey. She had no reason to worry, she could drink wine and talk.

That was until she saw her husband again. His clothes and hair was a bit ruffled. And next to him stood that girl. She was smiling, twirling a lock of her straw blonde hair around her fingers as she spoke with him. She couldn’t be older than perhaps seven and ten. If even that.

Catelyn tasted iron, felt the sweetness of blood in her mouth, and realised she had bit down on her tongue. She was sitting right there. Everyone could see them. It almost made her nauseous.

“You will have to excuse me, Lady Dacey” she said.

“Of course, my lady.”

She had to breathe fresh air, it was hot and humid in the hall. Suffocating.

Catelyn stood up and began making her way out of there. The distance that normally was so short seemed to be greater than the north in it’s entirety. And just as she reached the doors someone grabbed her arm.

“Where are you going, my love?”

Catelyn felt how she clenched her hand so hard that her nails dug into her palm. She turned to look at her husband, tried to keep her anger from showing on her face.

“I need some air” she said.

“It’s not very pleasant outside, the winds are strong” he told her. “And cold.”

“I will not be outside for long.”

His grip on her was gentle, but she didn’t want to tear herself away. Could he not let her go? Did she have to tell him to do so? All she wished was to get away from him, let the fury cool down before talking to him again. He called her his love despite what he had done.

“Might I come with you, then?”

That was the last thing she wanted, and it must have been visible on her face.

Ned frowned and looked at her as if he searched for something.

“Has something happened?” he asked.

He raised the hand he wasn’t holding her arm with, reached out to touch her cheek, but Catelyn caught it before he could touch her and forcibly lowered it.

“Do you take me for a fool?” she hissed.

“What do you mean?”

“I have seen you and that girl all night, I’m neither blind nor deaf. You are free to do whatever you please, my lord, but could you not at least have the courtesy to hide it?”

She hadn’t believed it possible, but his frown somehow got deeper. There was no understanding in his eyes, only confusion. He tilted his head slightly, for a moment he looked almost like a dog.

“What should I hide? And who is this girl you speak of?”

“That blonde servant who has been serving no one but you the entire night. And suddenly you both disappear. Have you so little regard for my dignity?”

Perhaps she should have let him come outside with her and talk to him there, it was not a particularly good idea to talk about it then and there where anyone might hear them.

It seemed no one had caught on to their quarrel yet but it was only a matter of time.

“Rhya? She’s almost a child, Catelyn” Ned said sharply. “Are you insinuating I am unfaithful to you with a servant girl who’s fifteen years younger than me?”

“She has been a step behind you since you entered the hall earlier this evening and suddenly I cannot find either of you!”

“I cannot speak for her intentions, but I have no interest in that girl. Or anyone else, for that matter. Do you not have more trust in me than so?”

He let go of her arm then and she took a step backwards, away from him.

“There is already a bastard in my hall, I have no wish for another one.”

She turned away and closed the final distance to the door. Guards opened them for her and then she stepped out into the cold night. She was barely outside before the winds had grabbed her, pulling at her skirts and making her hair whip around her face. It was biting cold, she would have liked something to cover her face with.

“I will not father another bastard!”

She didn’t turn around right face him, kept walking towards the keep. She might as well retire for the night, she had no wish to go back in there.

“That and discretion is all I ask, apart from that you can just take her” she spat.

“Why would I?”

Why wouldn’t he? Rhya was young and beautiful and willing. Catelyn had carried four children, she was much older than when they had married and her body was plumper and covered in various marks. It had been three years since she last gave him a child, was she able to have more?

Catelyn didn’t answer him.

“I left the hall to make sure the children had fallen asleep, the wind disheveled my clothes. I have not touched that girl and I never will.”

Before she could say anything Ned had grabbed her arm. That time she tried to tear herself free but he was stronger than she was. He made her to stop and turned her towards him.

“My lord, I–“

He leaned towards her and pressed a kiss to her lips with such force that she leaned backwards from the impact of it. There was almost anger in it, hard and biting. But she couldn’t care. She let him kiss her while the wind howled around them, buried her hands in his hair and held him closer to her.

“I want no one but you” he whispered into her mouth. “No one.”

Once they broke apart Catelyn took his hand and as good as dragged him with her to the keep. She needed him to be just hers for a moment. She needed to feel him and touch him, devour him in a way that no one else could.

The door to her bedchamber had barely closed before her lips was on his again. It had been long since she felt such desperate, feverish desire. Everything else could wait, nothing was more important than having her husband.

She tore at his clothing without breaking the kiss but soon decided it took too long. Instead she began pushing him towards the bed. They stumbled over each other, Catelyn didn’t care. She knew her purpose, her goal, and she would have it.

Just as Ned was about to hit the bed he twirled them around and instead Catelyn found herself seated on the edge of it. Before she could reach for him again he had gathered her skirts in his hands and kneeled in front of her. The ruffling of her skirts and their heavy breathing was all that could be heard in the dark room as he pulled her smallclothes down her legs. Through the haze of need she could feel the thrill of the sight before her. Ned kneeling between her legs.

Usually when he pleasured her with his mouth he would tease her, kiss her stomach, lick stripes up her thighs. That time he didn’t. He wrapped his arms around her legs and pulled her all the way to the edge of the bed and then buried his face in her. He held her still, didn’t let her squirm as he turned her into a shaky mess.

Catelyn closed her eyes, lost herself in the heat. The pleasure that spread through her as Ned worked on her with nothing but tongue and lips. He was well aware of how to make her come undone after years of practice.

She let her head fall back as she reached her pleasure, a low cry escaping her parted lips. She felt dizzy, when she opened her eyes the room was spinning before her and her body was still trembling.

Though her husband showed her no mercy, not that she wished for it. He could make love to her until she was raw and aching, and she would be a happy woman.

He pushed her to her back and before she could quite understand what was happening he was on top of her, inside of her. He groaned, hid his face in the crook of her neck and she felt his hot breath wash over her skin. All the layers of clothes between them were uncomfortable, most of her skirts still up almost above her waist, but it was nothing compared to the sensation of him in her. Somehow she managed to find his lips and took his bottom lip between her teeth, biting down. The sound that escaped him as that sent a wave of hot desire through her and once more she felt that familiar throbbing between her legs.

He began moving, not at all so gently and carefully as she knew him to do, but hard and fast. At the back of her mind some small part of her was aware of that she would be in some pain later, but she couldn’t have cared any less. She wrapped her legs around him, pulled at his clothing to somehow get him deeper inside of her. Her hips met his with every thrust, but it was hard to angle them so that she received the friction she would need to find her edge another time. The frustrated noise she made must have alerted Ned of that, because he shifted slightly on top of her.

“Is that better?” he panted.

“Yes” she responded, equally as breathless.

She buried both hands in his hair, ran her nails along his scalp, tried to coax him into going even faster. She wanted to be taken under by pleasure again, wanted him to join her in it that time.

When his face once more dropped to the crook of her neck as he spilled his seed inside her she followed not a moment later, that time with a soft moan.

How long they stayed like that for she didn’t know, gathering her thoughts and getting her heart to slow down was hard enough. Not that she wanted to move, she was perfectly content where she was. So close to him that they were one, joined in body and soul.

“I’m yours” he mumbled and kissed her temple.

The softness in his voice stood in sharp contrast to what had just taken place but that only made her love it more.

“As I’m yours” she said.

Catelyn let one hand run over his cheek.

“Until the end of my days” she then finished.

Slowly he left her embrace and the moment he pushed himself off her and sat up she realised how terribly uncomfortable that must have been. She was warm, could feel sweat trickle down her skin in various places. Her gown was everywhere but where she wanted it to be. Her hips were aching from her attempts to gain pleasure and how he had held her still. Her hairdo was completely ruined. Had she ever been such a terrible mess?

“Gods be good” she smiled.

Ned gave a low chuckle, ran a hand down her bare thigh.

“You are beautiful” he said.

That made her laugh.

“You are too kind, my love.”

As she also sat up she caught look of herself in the looking glass standing on her dressing table. She had thought of returning to the feast, but it became obvious that the effort it would take to get her presentable again far outweighed her wish to go back to the Great Hall.

“It seems Lady Stark is forced to retire for the night” she said.

“It would be rude of me to leave her” Ned immediately said.

He once more pulled her into an embrace and she let her head rest against his shoulder.

“What a shame” she hummed.