it’s never lupus ☝️

I am so sick and tired of having to charge stuff every day of my miserable life!! My phone, my watch, my headphones, my vibrator, my backup vibrator, my emergency vibrator, the ancient cursed amulet of darkness that whispers to me....it's too much!!!

no piece of supernatural commentary will ever be as impactful as ‘what happened to all the pussy on supernatural’

plutonic lesbian friends (that do nothing for me)

Imagine all the things I could do if I just did them.

Who wants to see my cat totally brave and not at all scared at the vet

Man Im sorry for snapping at you , uts just that I only got 8 hours of sleep last night and I only had like, two pandcakes with strawberrys and whipped cream and like three premium sausags for breakfast

Hence the not-uncommon adage that the washing machine did even more for women's liberation than the birth control pill

words cannot describe how much i love showering. my wet contemplative box

drink and smoke in the woods with people you love and suddenly you don’t actually need to end it all

ending a social interaction with a friend and thinking "I think we grew a little bit closer today." in my head as if I'm a dating game protagonist

the thing about fruit flies is that in the abstract, they live peaceful and irreproachable lives nibbling on overripe fruit and its attending microbes, but practically speaking they awaken some sort of primordial rage within me. Get off my bananas you little fucks