My Strange Little Thoughts

I tried so hard to keep my head above water. I wasn't exactly acing it, but I was fighting my hardest. Then last night the person I love pushed me under with two hands, and shut the lid. What's the use fighting now.

Life may have its ups and downs, but if the downs burry you in the dirt, the ups dont really matter unless they can keep you from suffocating.

I hate you.

I've ached for too long to believe in happy endings. But what if, just for a moment, I believed in happy middles? Middles so happy that it makes the broken ending worth reaching. Maybe it won't be like this forever, but it's like this now and now is all I have.

If I let go I'll eventually be able to move on. But that means what I had is gone. I'm just not ready.

I'm teetering over a precipice, wondering which way I'll fall.

If I dont scream and beat the living shit outta something in two minutes. I think I'll kill myself.

I feel fractured and very far away.