out for the night

Fair enough, fair enough — no need to unnecessarily roast me. Not this close to the holidays, anyway. Give me my peace. Okay, okay — this is making more sense to me now. The few times I’ve been high I’ve been transfixed by old Pokemon cartoons, so… if I can’t conceptualize those, I think I’m just doomed. Or, maybe I’ve been messing up my doses. It’s impossible for me to tell at this point. To be fair, 3005 also has me soft as hell. But, yeah — the Tamia cover truly does a number on me every damn time. That shit’s inescapable. Does it? Aw, Glover — look at you being all sweet. Somebody call TMZ, ‘cause this is never going to happen again in my lifetime. Would you? I don’t know… you’re kind of a legend in your own right, bud. But — if you ever try to hold that I said that against me, I’ll deny it every time.

i’ll burn you some other time, fo sho. few times? psssh girl, i know you smoke. you ain’t gotta lie to me. pokémon is one of the best things to watch while you’re high. classic. some of those studio ghibli films be lit too. you just emotional, aren’t you? i ain’t even wanna know how to react to like... giveon or some shit. you be crying waterfalls, huh? tmz ain’t need to know about all this. i’m just bein’ honest. i’m an acquired taste, honestly. i ain’t ever met anyone that truly hates ariana grande. they be lyin’ to themselves.

Billie: GAMBINOOOOOOO!!!!! Dude, how have you been?!

donald: that's a lot of excitement in one text

Daya: Luckily, it’s not an afterschool special where I’ll be patrolling for the secretive roll. Rather most one-hit wonders climbing to the top of that chart are made when someone’s not entirely there. Miley Cyrus, for example, tapped into her subconscious and made a tune alongside a dreamy JT when she was lucid.

Daya: Since I’m dreamier, perhaps that can provoke a spitfire verse, solely one, it’s all I’m asking until I hear it and know you capture me enough to make me your accomplice in this said feud.

Daya: Basically, some drunken comebacks that didn’t air too well between Daveed and you a week back.

donald: oh god, don't even remind me of all that...

donald: i was hella confused! i didn't even know who he was

donald: should be on my side purely based on the fact that i genuinely had no idea what was going on

anyone called mabel is probably already neurotically pissed for being called mabel. glad that i have your support though — i’ll try not to implicate you too horrendously if things go pear-shaped. i look ten anyway, the worst i’ll come away with is an ASBO. cheers, troy barnes. it would’ve been career damaging, honestly. how dare i stream content away from the overlord. i just got to recycle my way through shite teen rom-coms. as you should be. everyone should be absolutely terrified of the brits and our complete ignorance to actual seasoning — flavour comes only with totally random concoctions. wait until i introduce you to a crisp sandwich.

i could totally say the same thing about the name jessica, but honestly, i’d rather be called mabel or jessica than donald, so that says more. definitely don’t need the legal trouble. starting to think netflix do got some mind control shit going on. shit’s a good word for most of the stuff on there, but i can’t speak any higher of amazon prime. you seen some of the b-rated flicks on that joint? it’s ridiculous just how low they can go to scramble for some views. i already don’t like the sound of it. you on some peanut butter and chip shit? that shit hits different when you’re high, but never any time else. it’s that weird blood sausage shit that confuses me, honestly. like a full english breakfast is kind of weird.

Really? You don’t think you could roast me harder? Color me surprised, Glover. Here I was thinking this was amateur hour. Like, what’s the fine line between ‘too high to function’ and ‘almost too high to function?’ Does that clear it up, or are you still confused? Don’t plant ideas in my head, ‘cause I’ll definitely do it. Halloween’s one of my favorite holidays, don’t play. That’s a lie, and you know it — I’m just messing with you, mostly. 3005′s still my favorite, a true classic. Nothing gets me like your cover of So Into You, though. That’s the first place I go when I need to be in my feelings — besides some of my own heartbreaking records. Does lying get you on anybody’s good side, Glover? You stay on my good side, usually — unless you’ve done something questionable that should scoot you right out of my good graces.

i mean, i’m pretty sure i could, but i won’t take it there. almost too high is like the inability to conceptualize some things, but still mostly functional, you get me? i can see it pretty clearly, honestly. you’d work it. oh yeah? i get you in your feelings with that one? your shit definitely get me in my feelings from time to time. i ain’t lying though, that’s the thing. if the public were to have to choose between me and you, i’d definitely get the chopping block, girl.

Daya: When you write the next rap banger surely to knock the Nicki Minaj vs. Cardi B feud off of its Billboard’s throne, can there be a verse about a stunning woman who was trying to mind her business at the bar by letting a poor fool buy a round of drinks yet instead had an ear to a certain conversation?

Daya: Her name can be left off the record, but if much like a Harry Styles’ number dipped in French, one could hear her voice to cause a conspiracy stir.

donald: i'm gonna pretend that i'm not high and that any of that made sense to me

donald: you want me to write a rap banger about you?

fuck, you and me both. feel like i’m going to get so frustrated by my lack of judgement one day i’m just going to steal the jar point blank. who’s going to stop me realistically? it’s always manned by some little old lady. plus i’m like a seasoned thief — not to brag or anything — but i used to steal pick ‘n’ mix by stuffing it in my underwear as a child. notorious in leeds. aren’t peanuts pure protein? do you reckon if we just ate a full tub of peanut butter a day we’d turn into body builders? bet you someone makes it into a fad diet one day. no shit — that whole movie short you and rhi done is still probably one of the best undermined contributions to music. & film actually — just don’t tell netflix i was hyping up amazon prime productions. i’m trying to pay off my electricity bills. likely — they did catch me eating baked beans on toast the other day, which was apparently a whole enigma on it’s own.

you usually win whatever be in the jar too, so i say steal that shit. some old lady named mabel might get super pissed and chase you with her cane though. i used to use that five finger discount myself sometimes, so from one thief to another, i’ll support you. that sounds absolutely fucking repulsive, jessica. no thanks. damn, i was definitely going to get some extra traction on the movie tweeting out: JESSICA BARDEN LOVES GUAVA ISLAND. don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. if they cut your power, i gotchu. that's so british it would scare me too, so you know what? i don’t blame them.

the way you can go from topic to topic is amazing, i enjoy it very much. i have thought about things like that though, how many grapes does it take to make a bottle of wine or jelly. i haven’t really watched any studio ghibili before, i guess i hadn’t really taken interest in the genre. but i mostly take inspiration is from my surroundings.

it’s one of my many talents. i just thought about that commercial where they’re stopping on grapes to make grape juice and i don’t like the thought of all that. that shit be under their boots and everything. i get that. it’s not for everyone, but it’s definitely aesthetically pleasing. you like traveling, or you just mean like every day type of shit?

“Two hundred and twelve. The only reason why I know that is because some Ivy League school conducted an experiment to determine just how many licks it would take to reach the center of a tootsie pop. According to the episode of Unwrapped I saw on the Food Network. Ah, the last Studio Ghibli film I revisited was Porco Rosso. Besides that, I’ve been catching up on the latest season of The Crown.”

ivy league students would be spending their time researching some shit like that. there’s too many variables to have an actual number like that. props to the food network for actually dedicating an episode to that though. i’m sure they got a lot of views with that one. ah, porco rosso. nothing like a flying pig. haven’t had the chance to watch the crown, is it any good? i’ve heard good things.

i would have to say like…at least a hundred or so, right? i mean depending on the size of the jar and everything. and if they actually put the peanut butter in each thing with a big batch of peanut butter or a little batch. if it’s a big batches probably a whole lot more than a hundred or so peanuts. the owl in the commercial for the tootsie pop got three licks in and ate the pop, so we never knew. not so much inspo, but entertainment…i love titans on the dcu app. i also love watching things on netflix a lot. i mostly get my inspiration from my family if i get a script and ask them if i should do it, after i read it myself.

gotta be more than that. you know how small peanuts can be? without the shell and shit. size definitely matters in this case. rude ass owl, am i right? i haven’t gotten around to that one, but i’ll agree when i say the original animated teen titans series is bomb as fuck. that’s some serious nostalgia right there. netflix is definitely a great way to pass the time. all these streaming services really be upping their game lately. that’s lit though. i love that you ask for their opinions too. people definitely overlook getting a second opinion on shit like that.

As Donald went on about his thoughts, Daveed couldn’t help but get lost in his own. What was it about him that made him so irritated? Clearly his cocky demeanor had dwindled at this point, right now it seemed as if he was speaking to Donald and not Gambino. The cocky ‘I’m better than you’ personality was now washed away, and yet Daveed still didn’t entirely buy it. Part of him wanted to keep scratching away at Donald’s surface to see what else he had been hiding but another part of him was genuinely enjoying this vulnerability that came from him as well. Perhaps he just needed some sort of trigger word to make him realize exactly why Diggs had never been so fond of him. He hesitated for a moment, shifting his weight anxiously “Nah, but for real man – it’s long overdue but congratulations on that Lando role. I’d love to say I went to go see it, but I never got around to it. Heard it was great though.”  Okay, so maybe that was a lie as well.  Daveed hadn’t really heard anything of it, because in many ways he just refused to. He knew the film did well because he knew Donald absolutely destroyed whatever he was in. “I get it though, you work a lot. Shit, I was surprised to even see you out that night.” Daveed confessed, raising his brows as he finished the rest of his drink and set it off to the side now. Any more drinking at this point just seemed dangerous. 

Oddly enough, what had begun as a tense and uneasy conversation lead to one that was actually interesting. Hearing from someone who was seemingly pretty similar to himself was nice for Donald. People hardly related to him, or expected things from him that he couldn’t give. Taking this moment to be vulnerable and real with another artist was refreshing in many ways. It only took a second before Donald was pushed deeper into his confusion. He knew others had been up for Lando’s role, but he didn’t expect Daveed to be one of them. When he congratulated him, he wondered if that’s where the tension had come from to begin with. Furrowing his brows, he gave a confused nod before shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t blame you, man. It was fun, for sure.” Donald had worked his ass off for that role, participating in 7 auditions before he was finally cast. 

I would. What are you going to do — judge me more than you already have? C’mon, Glover. You know this about me. All vegan and earthy and all. What is almost too high? What does that entail? That’s a good one, too! I’m biased for any of the flicks where the soot sprites make an appearance; those little suckers are my favorites. No, I didn’t —- but, is it as iconic as Break Your Heart Right Back? Be honest, and yes —- there’s a correct answer.

i don’t think it’s possible for me to do that, ari. what you mean what does that entail? it means i be too high to even be processing this shit correctly. you could be one of those for halloween next year. get yourself in a fluffy little dress and give them those puppy eyes, girl. i know you want me to say no, but imma go ahead and say yes. it might even be more iconic. i’m totally kidding, i know my shit ain’t shit. nothing is as iconic as you, miss ariana grande. that get me on yo good side?

i’ve actually thought about that before! especially when it comes to the smaller jars. do they use more in the smaller ones than the larger ones? you’re right about there not being an exact number – because you know, sometimes the machines that make ‘em have gotta mess up and stuff like. hold on – are you serious? i can’t believe i had no idea that was a thing, i know what i’m gonna be doing this weekend, and that’s gonna be binging all of those movies. nature, honestly. i’ve been taking day trips to old parks and some palaces here in seoul and it’s given me a lot of inspiration.

i need myth busters to do an episode on this or something. i mean, it’s not even a myth to bust. what’s the other one? how it’s made? that was definitely a thing. i bet there’s already even an episode on it ‘cause they had an episode for literally everything. there’s quite a few on there too, so it’s definitely worth taking a look at. that sounds absolutely amazing though. i’m actually super jealous? south korea is beautiful. i never got the chance to explore much the few times i’ve been there.

would you believe i think about shit like that all the time, actually? it’s a curse. i’ll be sitting there, minding my own business, and boom, my stupid brain wants to know something. for example, i just recently figured out what 2% milk is, and i’m pretty sure google is laughing at me now. okay, now…this is dangerous information, because i’m not above watching spirited away three or more times in a day. as for what’s been inspiring me lately, i had a conversation with a five year old the other day who completely redefined my worldview. kids are mystical like that, you know? i told her i had to go home because i needed to do laundry, and she said “does laundry make you happy?” and you know what? i haven’t been right since. i think i need to sit with myself and do some soul searching. 

i definitely believe it because i’m the same way. i always got different shit going on in my head, even when i don’t want there to be. isn’t it 2% lactose...? or is that like totally off? man, i don’t blame you like at all for that. they have a decent selection too, so it’s all i been about lately. kids are definitely mystical. i like that word. i’ve had some seriously enlightening conversations with my four year old. like there be times where he got my questioning myself. i'm like who's the adult again? she almost sound like a little manipulator right there, you gotta be careful with those ones. they always end up getting what they want some how; it’s weird as hell.

i never have before but now you’ve really got me thinking about it – especially since there are various size jars! like how many it takes for the bigger ones compared to the smaller ones. i already know this is gonna be keeping me up because i’m determined to get a good estimate before i even consider googling anything. they do? well shit, i know what i’m gonna be binging now! i’ve really been digging miley cyrus’ new song with dua lipa and the remix of midnight sky and edge of midnight she did with stevie nicks! also a lot of fleetwood mac, one ok rock – a good mix of things.

man, i didn’t even think about the different sizes there are. now it’s even crazier to think about. i feel that though. i never trust the internet with stuff like that either. they even got some of the lesser known films up on there. hbo did something really right with that one. i ain’t even know she did that and usually i’m super on my music game. imma have to check that one out. it’s always good to keep a variety in there. it keeps you inspired to try new shit in your own art, you know what i mean?