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Labor Day: A Year in Review of Working Abroad

Hey y’all,

In honor of Labor Day, I would like to highlight the things my God did through me over the past year. Though influencing positive change was far from a walk in the park, I was blessed with creative ideas to accomplish the following despite inadequate resources and limited support.

Completed over 50 public health presentations at the local health center, schools, and community in Spanish. Before living and working abroad, it was almost impossible to get me to speak Spanish, especially in front of a group of people. Over the past year, I overcame the fear of public speaking in Spanish and I also learned to approach my presentations with culturally appropriate games, activities, and discussions.

Lowered waiting room time by 1 hour and 30 minutes for patients who forgot medical file number. This may be tough for the younger generation of social media users to fathom but the health system in Ecuador is almost entirely paper-based. In a nutshell, each person has a folder called “medical file” with their name, an assigned number and a record of their health status each time they visited the health center. When a patient forgets the file number, the staff at the health center is unable to pull the patient’s file and consequently the patient is unable to receive medical attention. In order for a patient to recover the file number, s/he has to search a big record book with all the patients’ names and file numbers; in a nutshell it is a written database. Side note, this is totally against the US HIPAA Health Care Policy, but medical confidentiality is not “a thing” in Ecuador so this process of recovering a forgotten medical file number is totally normal. The patient has to search for his/her name and then next to the name is the file number. The book is organized in numeric chronologically order not alphabetic chronological order; so, the patient has to search page by page instead of being able to skip to the specific section of the book with names starting with a certain letter. The process of recovering a medical file number can take as long as 2 hours. To expedite the process, I rewrote the names and numbers from the book into an electronic excel sheet. Now, a health worker may easily search a patient’s name on the excel sheet and recover the number within 30 minutes.

Improved workplace efficiency by 30 minutes for drawing medical files. After a patient receive medical attention, the folder needs to be re-organized in the filing room. However, since the health center is understaffed and everyone has a full list of things to do, the files are usually stacked on each other and out of order until someone is able to organize the files. If a patient visits the health center twice in a week, it would take as long as 40 minutes to find the file because a health workers would have to search the unorganized stack which usually comprise of more than 100 files. To improve workplace efficiency, I spent one hour each day organizing the medical files by numeric chronological order on the filing rack. This way, it is easier for a health worker to pull the file number from the organized file rack. The process of searching for a specific number and drawing the file takes less than 10 minutes.

Increased daily water intake from 0 cups to 1 liter per day. When I started working in Manabí, I completed a community needs assessment. The baseline result of daily water intake was 0 cups. To improve water intake, I provided each participant of the Elderly Group with a Personal Health Diary to set health goals and track progress related to water intake, fruit consumption, and exercise participation. I also challenged the group to meet at the health center once a week to exercise. The use of the personal health diary was influence by the Health Belief Model and the weekly exercise was influence by the Social Cognitive Theory. The combination of theory and practice contributed to the healthier lifestyle habit of drinking more water per day.

As I reflected on these small wins I was reminded of Colossians 3:23, “whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for man.” I tried working for man during my first months abroad and my ideas were often shutdown. Matter of fact, my Ecuadorian coworkers did not even know why I was there and no one was willing to help me fill the gaps within the health system. I often felt alone and confused as to why I left a good life to work in a foreign land. Things did not fall into place until I made an effort to work for The Lord. Working for The Lord was an adventure because when The Lord showed me problems, he also gave me ideas to solve the problem. I had to be bold with doing what I was instructed to do. I had to stop considering the criticisms and rejections I was receiving from my coworkers. While I was working to lower waiting room time, a lot of coworkers glared at me and one doctor even criticized me several times for not including more details on the electronic record. However, the Lord only instructed me to transform what was in the book into an excel sheet and the doctor’s recommendation was not in the book. I did what God told me to do. I finished the task. The outcome was promising. Then, the Director of the health center asked my permission to access the excel document, then another doctor, and before long I was sharing the document with all of my coworkers. I thank God for the invitation to work for Him because if I had kept working for man, this would not be my yearlong progress. In conclusion, I recommend working for God and shine forth!

Donette

A Weekend Get-Away to Guayaquil

Hey y’all,

While living and working in Ecuador, Guayaquil has grown to be one of my favorite places for a weekend get-away because it is warm and developed with internet (the story of my struggle with internet is told here, “Is internet a need or want?”). Ayinde approves of Guayaquil because of the food, especially the cassava bread. Considering the warm climate, decent internet, and good food, I figured you might be interested in a weekend get-away to Guayaquil too. Plus, if you visit before July 2019, we can hangout.

If you have never heard of this city before, let me update you on the basics. Guayaquil is located on the coast and has hot climate almost year-round. It is the largest city in Ecuador and is as dangerous as any other city, so the big-city rules for safety and security apply here too. It is one of the most diverse places in all of Ecuador, with racial descendants including African, Chinese, European, and Amerindians. There are tourists here and there, but most of them leave for the beach, which is understandable because the beaches in Ecuador are clean and beautiful (sidenote, I’ll post a beach guide in October, so keep an eye out for it). However, if you’re not into the beach vibe but still want a memorable coastal experience, Guayaquil is a good place to visit.

My favorite places to visit during my weekend get-away are…

Malecon (seawalls): I enjoy visiting the seawall because it is the perfect blend of city excitement and tranquility. The two far ends of the Malecon tend to be peaceful with a Yacht and restaurant on one end and a Ferris Wheel, Museum, and café on the other end. In the middle are the main entrance and the most foot traffic; this is also the general location where street artists share their gifts through artwork, music, dance, and theatre. When I am craving city excitement, I take a seat near the main entrance and “people watch.” When I want the city-type tranquility, I take a seat in the café and read.

Las Peñas: this region is walking distance from the sea wall. It is a good spot for a noontime date or nightlife with friends. It is filled with colorful houses, lots of “cultured” restaurants, and a few site-seeing things such as a lighthouse, a beautiful view of the seawall, and museums.

You can definitely visit the Malecon and Las Penas on the same day or you can stretch out your visits to explore one on a Saturday and the other on a Sunday.

Good food spots…

For breakfast, I usually gravitate toward the cafés because they have good American breakfast options as well as Ecuadorian breakfast options. My favorite and highly recommended coastal-Ecuadorian breakfast foods are bolon de verde (smashed green plantains rolled into a ball form), pan de yuca (cassava bread; which is also Ayinde’s favorite), and plantanos maduro con huevos (ripe plantains with eggs).

For lunch, I recommend asking restaurants about their lunch specials. Throughout Ecuador, a lot of restaurants offer lunch specials for $2-4. My general approach is to save on lunch and splurge on dinner. However, if you end up balling out on lunch, i.e. paying more than $4, make sure to get something you would really enjoy! For example, I only usually ball out on fried fish and patacones (fried green plantains crushed into a flower-like shape and salted) because it’s one of my favs and cost about $2 more than a lunch special.

Couple recommended places for lunch specials include:

Colata: I can eat a full meal for $2.45. The lunch options changes every day but typically includes a soup, an entrée, and juice.

Shri Ganesha: I have not personally visited this place but a handful of my friends rave about the deliciousness of the food. It is an Indian restaurant with vegetarian options such as chickpeas curry masala with rice.

There are also a lot of other restaurants to explore. The route to Las Penas is filled with Ecuadorian restaurants. If you’re not into Ecuadorian foods, there are a handful of fast-food restaurants such as McDonald, Wendy’s, KFC, and Subway on the Malecon.

Where to stay…

Hilton Colon: This is my hands-down, without a doubt, favorite place to stay in Guayaquil. I am blessed to have a fiancé who spoils me to hotel stays at Hilton whenever I want a self-care weekend. Almost all of the staff are super hospitable and bilingual; so if I don’t feel like speaking Spanish and dared to only speak English during my weekend-away, I can seamlessly do it at Hilton Colon. As a side-note, most hotels and hostels in Guayaquil only have Spanish-speaking staff; so, if you only speak English and are planning to visit Guayaquil, you should totally consider Hilton. Additionally, the hotel has a small yet beautiful gym -- I can run, stretch and/or just admire myself in a big mirror. Next to the gym, there is a spa. I have not treated myself to a massage at the spa but it is definitely a goal! Other recreational services include a beautiful pool with a breath-taking ambiance of coconut trees; and next to the pool is the Coco Bar, which is named and inspired by the poolside coconut tree ambiance. As extras, there are a lot of food options within the hotel as well as a mini fashion mall.

However, if you don’t want to spend an arm and leg on food or clothes, two bigger and cheaper malls are within walking distance of the hotel – Mall del Sol and Marisco Mall.

If you don’t have the money or someone to spoil you to a weekend at Hilton Colon, don’t worry! I have another recommendation for you…

Casa Romero: This is an AirBnB within walking distance of the Malecon. The hosts are AMAZING! The building is a condominium and the entrance to the building is secure with a metal door. The apartment is clean. It does not have a pool or gym attached to the building, but there is free breakfast, which is simple but on-point! The breakfast usually includes bread (which you can toast) with jelly and butter, eggs, fruit juice, and a hot beverage of your choice – hot chocolate, tea or coffee. If you’re feeling fancy, you can even turn your coffee into a moccachino by adding milk and chocolate powder. Each time I stayed there, it felt safe and homely and I wasn’t breaking my budget. The cost per night is usually between $15 and $25. There are a lot of restaurants, cafés, and shopping options right outside of the apartment too, which is super convenient.

All of the hostel/hotel options include hot water, towels, and soap.

If you enjoyed this post, let me know and I will keep publishing more travel guides. If you have questions or want more information on another region, let me know. Until next time, be good!

The Hate U Give – Angie Thomas

As someone who highly favors non-fiction books, I was thoroughly surprised by my ability to read “The Hate U Give” by Angie Thomas in three days in between adulting (you know – working, cooking, and cleaning). I honestly struggled to put the book down! One day during the lunch hour I rested the book on the kitchen table and moved to the stove to focus on cooking rice but before I could reach the stove, I subconsciously rushed back to the book thinking, “oh I wanna see what happens next!” completely forgetting I was not watching a movie on a television from the mid-90s without DVR, but instead I was reading a book and the storyline would unravel whenever I was ready for it to unravel. While the book and story wasn’t going anywhere, my lunch hour was ticking away. I definitely checked myself and broke my name down like Lisa Carter, “Don-ette, get your life in order.”

Though it is a fictitious narrative, the experiences of the characters are very real. In summary, the protagonist, Starr is a 16-year old who lives in the poor black neighborhood of Garden Heights and attend schools in a predominantly white suburbs. One night, Starr attended a party in Garden Heights and met her childhood best friend, Khalil. After an incident at the party, they ended up leaving together. While Khalil was driving Starr home, a police stopped them. Khalil was forced to get out of the car and the police officer shot him, even though he was unarmed and did nothing wrong. Soon afterward, Khalil’s name became a headliner on major news outlets and a trending topic on social media. The incident triggered social activism, protests and riots. Throughout the book, Starr struggled to define her personal identity, process her best friend’s murder and advocate for justice. At the end of the book, Starr’s growth served as an encouraging example for everyone who ever grappled with personal challenges and social activism.

The book was written with a perfect blend of Standard English and Ebonics, genuinely reflecting Starr Carter as not only Black but also brilliant. I enjoyed the constant reminder to never stop living in the midst of challenges. For example, though Khalil’s family was oppressed, he still enjoyed bubble baths. Though Starr grieved the lost of her childhood best friend, she still played basketball. Though the dog urinated on Maverick’s roses, the roses still lived. We ought to keep living, regardless if we’re handed sour lemons or lemonade.

I related to Starr’s struggle with bravery and I believe every reader will be able to relate to her character at one point or another. However, despite my connection to Starr, my favorite characters of the book were Seven and Chris.

Seven’s character reminds me of my own, we are smart and nonchalant. We don’t like drama, even when people are hurting us, we prefer to bite our tongue and bottle our emotions until we get really angry. However, when we are angry, we don’t mind fighting or reprimanding someone for all of the other times they did us wrong. We like to keep peace until it is impossible to keep peace. I can also relate to his love for the STEM profession. Thought he is into technology and I am into science, we’re both just trying to make the world a more productive place though STEM improvements. So, yeah, Seven is my homie for those reasons.

I like Chris because he takes interest in causes of the oppressed despite his racial and economic status. He fell in love with Starr. He hung out with DeVante. He didn’t use the murder of Khalil as a get-of-class bid like most of his peers. He rioted in the Garden after the verdict despite being white and obviously not from the community. Chris is the true definition of an ally. He acknowledged what he did not know and made an effort to learn.  

For future books, I recommend narrating Seven’s experience in a prestigious and predominantly white university, majoring in Information Technology, and enduring the racial/ethnic challenges of higher education. It would also be interesting to document his thoughts about life on campus compared to Garden Heights.

In conclusion, the book was a really good read especially considering it was Angie’s first book. I recommend this book to everyone; particularly parents of color who may be struggling to have “the talk” with their children.

If you have not seen the trailer to the movie, I have attached it below for you.

Until next time, peace.

A dozen firsts: my first-time experiences in Ecuador

Ecuador has marked a few first-time memories in my lifetime. Among the list include…

1. My first time attending a ceremonial food and animal sacrifice. 

2. My first time working abroad. On August 31st, I will expand on this experience a bit more via the blog, “Labor Day: A Year in Review of Working Abroad.” Stay tuned.

3. My first time getting engaged (hehe). There are two detailed blogs about this experience – one from my perspective “Behind the Veil: her story” and the other from my fiancé’s perspective, “Behind the Veil: his story” If you haven’t already, you should definitely read our love story from our individual perspective.

4. My first time living with a host family. I have too many stories to summarize just one here haha so, hit me up if you wanna talk about my experience.

5. My first time visiting a banana plantation.

6. My first time in a Spanish-speaking country.

7. My first time visiting Mitad del Mundo. This was one of my favorite experiences because I had the desire to visit Mitad del Mundo since I was a child in elementary school.

8. My first time meeting the US Ambassador to Ecuador.

9. My first time visiting a butterfly park.

10. My first time traveling abroad alone.

11. My first time seeing kids run under the table, crying, because they don’t want vaccination.

12. My first time at a lighthouse.

Searching for Land – Winston Mayo

Typically, I do not like non-fiction books but “Searching for Land” is an exception. I read the book from cover to cover and thoroughly enjoyed the author’s descriptive, humorous and poetic writing style. The author described the characters so well that I was able to create a mental picture and see the characters pop off the page into a mental movie. Every time I picked up the book to read, I looked forward to laughing at the mix of witty, malapropisms and “black-cultured” jokes. Additionally, I really vibe with the poetic writing approach of starting each chapter with the last line used to conclude the previous chapter.

While I endured some of the challenges that Terrence experienced and believe that every reader will be able to relate to his story, my favorite characters of the book were Aunt Sheretta and Pastor Matt.

Aunt Sheretta’s words and personality made me laugh too many times to count. I also respect the strength that she had for herself and for Terrence in the transition of not finding Wade. Though Aunt Sheretta’s words cut deep like a sharp knife, I felt in her mannerism that she had good intentions for Terrence. She gave him a little time to grief, she took him to a concert, she encouraged him to get fresh air every once in a while and she even stood outside at the trash and watched Terrence as he left her house. Her character reminded me of all the women who were present with me at all times and were real with me, even when I did not want to hear their voices.

Pastor Matt’s conviction to serve the Lord and his compassion for others was admirable. He always walked the neighborhood to share the gospel, used metaphors to help others understand the gospel better, and took a special interest in helping Terrence even when Terrence refused his help. On the days when Pastor Matt was not calling or visiting Terrence, I knew he was praying for Terrence. Pastor Matt is a true friend and Christian.

For future books, I recommend the author and his team to considers the following feedback for improvement:

Double-check the formatting of the book on e-reading outlets such as Kindle and iBooks before launching for sale because there were formatting errors with the electronic version of the book. For each chapter, there were two chapter-numbers listed. For example, the chapter entitled “Singing Whales and Rent-a-Preachers” was listed as Chapter 15 and Chapter 11 in the Kindle version. This created uncertainty about the chapter numbers and furthermore made it difficult to use the table of content for guidance throughout the book. Additionally, the formatting error made it difficult to discuss varying chapters with other readers because there would be confusion on which chapter is truly chapter 15 and which is chapter 11.

Enable the search option for electronic books such that readers are able to easily search and find a character or concept mentioned in the book. This feature may help readers to correctly and quickly reference page numbers or chapters during discussions such as a book club.

Let multiple people read the advance review copy or reader’s edition of the book before printing the book in mass distribution. If you have only one editor, then ask two trusted friends and a librarian to also read the book and help with the process of correcting grammar errors such as typos, highlighting incomplete sentences or rephrasing weirdly worded sentences. In this way, the final version of the book will have minimal grammar errors.

Catching flights, not feelings or travel illness

Hello there!

If you’re like me and enjoy traveling, you know that traveling internationally is fun and insightful until we get sick while abroad. Getting sick while abroad is a very common reality that we often overlook and do not prepare for while we are packing and preparing for the trip. The minute we land on the grounds of a different country, we often expose ourselves to diseases that are outside of our home country and unknown to our immune system. The risk of travel-related illness varies depending on the destination because each country has pathogens that are unique to the geographic region; think of it as a part of the culture. Similar to how every country have a different culture, so every country has varying common illnesses. The most common travel-related illness includes mosquito-borne diseases and gastrointestinal diseases, and the most common symptoms in response to these illnesses include fever, diarrhea, abdominal pain and skin irritation. Alongside these common illnesses are health inconveniences such as cuts, scrapes, headaches and respiratory triggers. The purpose of this blog is to highlight what things we should pack to prevent and control common travel-related health inconveniences so that we can enjoy our travel time from beginning to end.

Gastrointestinal remedies: simply getting out of your regular groove for a few days can throw our G.I. balance out of whack. Additionally, consuming unfiltered water, juice made with unfiltered water, and foods that are uncooked or not cooked very well such as rare-done steak, sushi, and ceviche. The rule of thumb is to only consume filtered water by boiling or buying water as well as eating fully cooked foods. To treat symptoms such as diarrhea, oral rehydration salt for oral rehydration therapy is my number 1 recommendation. The size of the rehydration salt package determines how much water to mix with the salt, so read the instruction on the package. Alongside oral rehydration salts, be sure to pack antacid and anti-diarrhea meds.

Mosquito-borne disease: before traveling especially to tropical climates, don’t forget to ask your doctor if you need any mosquito related pills such as malaria pills. Additionally, don’t forget to pack mosquito/insect repellent to help keep mosquitoes away.

Band-aid, tape, gauze and cotton balls: cuts and scrapes, not to mention nasty wounds, can hinder your fun while traveling, especially if you are not prepared to treat them. That is why it is a good idea to pack a few band-aids for smaller cuts, bandages for bigger wounds, sterile gauze to soak up blood and surgical tape to make sure it all stays in place.

Painkillers like ibuprofen and acetaminophen are must have to shake off general headaches that might come on due to the run-around of traveling or even help relief more serious ailments.

Respiratory fixes: it is very easy to overlook the risk of contracting the common cold while traveling or how small particles/dust unique to a region might trigger a runny nose or coughing. On that note, do not forget to pack antihistamines, decongestant, and/or cough drops to help fight off easily overlooked health inconveniences.

5 Reasons Why I am Vegetarian

Hey y’all,

If you know me personally, you know that I am always engaging in conversations about my food choices, not because I like talking about foods but because I am vegetarian. Every time I visit a restaurant with co-workers, plan a potluck supper with friends, or sit down to eat with the extended family, I have to communicate my dietary restrictions, which usually brings out of other people a favorable smile, unfavorable eye-roll, or an “it is what it is” expression. I was also asked, “why did you choose to become vegetarian?” way too many times to keep count. In this blog, I will fully answer this question for you! I chose to become a vegetarian for the following reasons… 

1. To develop self-control

Yes, self-control! It seems odd because some people think that I have too much control ha! However, before I got a grip of myself, I was consistently getting in my own way and preventing myself from thriving. I often wanted things but never really followed through with it. For example, I wanted to eat healthier, exercise more, and developing better relationships but year after year I backslid on my goals because I had no discipline. Then, after backsliding, I became frustrated with myself and vowed to do better, only to repeat the same cycle. So, I stopped trying to do it myself and inquired with God, “what thing may I use to practice self-control?” and approximately the next week I got my answer. It dawned on me that food would be the perfect thing because I cannot avoid, overlook nor forget to eat. The plan was, if I failed to eat healthy during breakfast, I could try again during lunch or dinner. Every day I made an effort and little by little, I got into the groove of adding more vegetables to my meals and taking out more fatty foods. I also did an analysis on my food triggers, that is, what foods ignite thoughts of backsliding? What does science say about behavior change? What can I learn from individuals in the past who have changed their lifestyle from omnivorous to vegetarian? How may I pray for myself in this journey? Additionally, I rationalized, if I can control what I eat, it will empower me to apply the same mindset to other facets of my life.

2. To avoid cleaning, seasoning, and waiting for meat to taw

Call me lazy, impatient, or whatever you want but I am not a fan of cleaning, seasoning and waiting for the meat to taw. The smell is also very discouraging; I don’t care how much yummy potential may be dormant in a chicken leg, I prefer to spend my time decorating a vegetarian meal, taking photos of it, and then yumming it up! That is quicker, less work, and brings me joy. Don’t judge me; just let me live eh?!!!

3. To feel better

Preparing, decorating, and yumming pretty food does not only bring me joy but it helps me to feel more energized and wholesome. Science has shown consistently that eating healthy boost energy and wholesomeness. Don’t just take my word for it; let us see what nutrition scholars are saying about the impact of healthy eating on the mind and body. According to Harvard Health (2018), the tried-and-true advice for boosting your energy is to eat a balanced diet with a variety of unrefined carbohydrates, proteins, and fats with an emphasis on vegetables, whole grains, and healthy oils. Alongside this report, there are many other articles that show and explain why and how healthy eating improves energy level. You may search “healthy eating and energy level” on Google Scholar or cross-references the sources that were mentioned on the Harvard Health Publishing page for more information via the link at the end of this post.

4. To be healthier

As a health professional and public health specialist, I am always pinpointing risk of morbidity and early mortality. Yes, even when I am not at work. I can’t help it! Among the leading contributors to poor lifestyle choices and chronic illness is an overconsumption of meats and carbohydrates, and under-consumption of vegetables. Furthermore, Schwingshackl et al (2018) reported that healthy eating (balanced diet including the food groups mentioned in point 3 above) does not only help us to “feel good” but is associated with significant reduction in the risk of morbidity and mortality. Particularly, healthy eating is associated with the reduction in risk of cardiovascular disease by 22%, cancer by 16%, type II diabetes by 18% and neurodegenerative disease (such as Alzheimer) by 15%. Alongside these reports, there are many more studies and articles that report the many benefits of healthy eating on energy level and overall health. If you are interested in learning more about the Schwingshacki et al study, I have provided a link to the full article below.

5. To show-off  (insert side-eye emoji)

Laawwwdddd, don’t judge me! But yes, you read that correctly! I like being vegetarian because it’s an easy way to share with others that eating healthy does not necessarily mean boringgggg. A lot of people have the misconception that eating healthy is synonymous with eating plain and tasteless oatmeal, but as a vegetarian I am able to showcase, a lot of times without even thinking about it, that its fun and yummy to add a ton of honey, blueberries, almonds, and raisins to oatmeal for a vibrant and energizing breakfast. I remember once, while in graduate school, I prepared my breakfast bowl with the aforementioned ingredients then added hot water and headed to my graduate assistantship work desk. While sitting at my desk and waiting for my work computer to load, I decided to open the bowl and start eating my breakfast. In the midst of minding my own business, at least three people were attracted by the smell of honey and blueberries; they could not resist the smell and inquired of me “what are you eating? It smells really good!” Just like that (insert finger-snap sound effect) I was able to share and show-off that eating healthy does not mean boring.

There are many other motivations for why people healthy but these are the top motivators that have kept me in the vegetarian lifestyle for about 5 years now. I stopped counting the time that I have been vegetarian because I am more focused on maintaining a healthier lifestyle. Considering the information that you have found in this post, if you have further questions about vegetarianism or the references, let me know. You may email me using the email on Instagram page, DM me on Instagram and Facebook or comment on this post.  

Source

Harvard Health Publishing. (2018). Eating to boost energy - Harvard Health. Retrieved from https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/eating-to-boost-energy

Red, White and Bold: How I Dare Me to be Free

Hi frens!

In honor of Independence Day, this post is a reflection of my first time visiting New York City since working in Ecuador and how I am liberating myself through personal challenges. After a hard transitional year in rural Manabí, I finally decided to go home to spend time with my family; AND the Ecuadorians in the countryside lost their minds. My excitement to spend quality time with my loved ones quickly turned into a long-drawn-out brainstorming session of how I can graciously but seriously communicate to a bunch of poor people that I, too, am not rich!

I know that I look moneyed, and to be honest sometimes I feel affluent, especially when I look in the mirror and see how the equator-sun has turned my skin into natural gold. But, if I’m keeping it real, I am not balling out of control. For those of you who don’t know, I pay a family for a room and that is where I live. In the house, there are 9 people who legally live there with about another 9 people who spend enough time at the house for it to be their home too. I am not close with anyone at the house but I thought that out of good manners, I should communicate with 3 people (the three heads of the household) that I was going home for a month. The next day the whole community knew that I was going home, and the days leading up to my departure date were filled with request for $100 a piece purchases for everyone who lives in the house – yes, official and unofficial residents.

Girl: “I want Fenty, Kylie, and Sephora make-up!”

Me: “I don’t buy make up for myself, what makes you think I’ll buy for you?!”

Mother of girl: “I want these cosmetic skin care equipment ‘cause my skin is bad”

Me: “what you need to do is drink more water and have a seat over there!”

Aunty of girl: “I want sneakers and clothes for my son”

Me: “ya also need to ask yo baby daddy for these things, not me!”

I didn’t actually respond that way ‘cause I’m trying to live right and the bible says, “a wise man quietly holds back a vent” (Proverbs 29:11). But I surely thought those things. My real responses, for the most part, were blank stares followed by the suggestion that they should buy the things on Amazon then ship it to my mom’s house; from the house, I could bring the things from the US to Ecuador. That response disappointed a lot of people because it required them to spend the money instead of deferring the expenses to me. Their lack of interest with compromising challenged me to do 3 things that I do not do often

not stress anymore,

not buy or deliver anyone anything; and

focus on spending quality time with my family!

And just like that, I learned the art of saying no after a failed effort to compromise.

Alongside the difficult task of saying “no” to a bunch of people, I sat in a barber chair and got a pixie haircut. Oh, the courage it took! After 5 years of contemplating a pixie-cut, I finally did it with the influence of my aunt Earlyn and college friend Helena (S/O to these ladies for gently pushing me forward to live boldly!). The haircut served as a personal effort to mature in the words of scripture that says, “be strong and courageous”(Joshua 1:9). Surely, its “just” hair and it will grow again but in some cultures, hair is the essence of a woman’s beauty and I have taken the risk to cut mine. When I returned to Ecuador with no gifts in hand and a pixie-cut, I was told that I resemble a cancer victim, I look like a boy, and I look ugly. A few people laughed and ridicule me in public, with hopes that belittling me would help them magnify themselves. I realized that some of the negative comments were rooted in resentment that I returned to town without anything for anyone but in my defense, I pay the host family rent every month and did not owe anyone anything. I challenged myself each day to be strong and fight each battle with courage.

Somehow, I always mustered the strength to respond, “I like my short hair!” with my head held high in confidence as I walked away with grace. Similar to how I conquered the fear of getting in the barber chair and doing something that I had never done before, I conquered the fear of caring what other people thought of my outward appearance. I made it my goal to let my inner beauty shine forth and take control of my outer beauty. It is 3 months now since I have been back in Ecuador and believe it or not, people are starting to say positive things about my hair while it is still relatively short. Some say that it makes me look more mature and other say that it makes me look more elegant. At this point, none of the opinions matter because I am satisfied with the level of strength and courage that I exercised and displayed over the past few months. Additionally, I love that the short hair is easier to manage, helps me feel cooler in the tropical climate, and is financially friendly because I am saving money by using fewer hair products.

Overall, it was a well-deserved vacation. I thoroughly enjoyed hearing and speaking English after a year of overloading my brain with everything Spanish – language, culture, and the people. I also enjoyed celebrating four birthdays – my mother, my fiancé and my cousins. Though I am not currently in the US to celebrate Independence Day with most of you, I hope this reflective post about my most recent experiences in the US has inspired you to follow through with the things that make you nervous. My prayer is that you are able to liberate yourself through personal challenges such as “saying no,” “being strong and courageous,” or whatever makes you fearful.

If you enjoyed this post, let me know through a comment or message; or better yet, share it with someone else. Next week I will post about “The 5 Reasons Why I am Vegetarian.” If you have wondered why I am vegetarian, the full story will be available in the next post. I hope you are able to come through and catch up with me!

With love,

Girl, what's up with your blogs

Hi frens!

Long story short, I am back in rural Manabí trying to be a change agent, servant leader, and reflection of Christ. Time has slipped through my fingers regarding blogs because of my situation; you know, my limited access to internet situation?!!! Yeah! So, today, I am taking time to get that part of my life in order.

I have used the past few months to reflect on the purpose of my blog and the purpose of blogging because I started to get blindsided by algorithms such as likes, comments, and reach.  I have come to the conclusion that I want this blog to highlight how I practice scripture and do all things to the glory of God even when everything within me is struggling to live Christ-like. By highlighting snippets of my life, I hope to inspire and influence others to strain toward their goals, regardless of how difficult the process may seem. Additionally, I reflected on the format of the blog and decided to write with a more personal tone, such that each blog starts with a greeting and ends with a signature (like this post).

Additionally, a lot of good things have happened since my last post – I visited New York for the first time since I started working in Ecuador, I got a pixie cut, I completed one year of in-country time, I celebrated another birthday, and I read a few books. Instead of overwhelming you in this post with updates on those things, I will use these topics as writing prompts to re-transition into the groove of blogging. Today, I am pre-scheduling the blogs for July. Here is a sneak peek of the dates and topics:

Friday, July 6: Happy Independence Day, I’m Liberating Myself

Friday, July 13: The 5 Main Reasons Why I am Vegetarian

Friday, July 20: Catching Flights not Feelings . . . or Travel Bugs: my personal health nuggets for preventing and controlling illness while traveling

Friday, July 27: Book Analysis – “Searching for Land” by Winston Mayo

In conclusion, I have spent the past few months daring myself to step out of my comfort zone, I reflected on the true purpose of the blog, and I wrote.  I hope this update was refreshing and you will keep growing with me through these posts. Next week, join me again so that I can tell you about my vacation in New York City and how I am making strides to liberate myself through random personal dares.

With love,

Traveling is fun when everything goes according to plan, but the moment an unplanned incident occurs it can easily turn an 8-hour international trip into a 2-day fiasco. I am speaking from experience. Before I share my secrets to packing light and effective, let me give you the background story to my first major travel tragedy. In my travel plan to go from New York to Ecuador, my flight from JFK International Airport to Fort Lauderdale International Airport took a detour to Fort Myers airport because of inclimate weather. This flight stayed in Fort Myers a little too long and by the time it was back on the way to Fort Lauderdale, my connecting flight to Quito International Airport had departed. Additionally, my checked-bag was nowhere to be found with speculations from the baggage claim staff that it might be on the flight that I missed. So, I had to reschedule the flight to my final destination, spontaneously spend 24 hours in Fort Lauderdale and I did not know the whereabouts of my checked luggage. Luckily for me, I had packed travel-sized personal supplies in my carry-on bag.

Since this travel inconvenience can happen to anyone and at any time, even though I hope it never happens to you, these are my recommendations of things to include in your carry-on bag.  

Extra underwear

Yeah, imagine losing your checked-bag and having to spend days without it. You may find yourself wearing the same dirty underwear for several days or buying new underwear during the time that you could be catching up on sleep lost from figuring out travel inconveniences.

Extra feminine products for the ladies

Ladies, this is important for us to remember because sometimes we don’t know the exact day nor time that we would start menstruating; we can have an idea of the week but the exact moment is questionable. So, be prepared with about 7 extra pads/tampons for traveling. Additionally, it is not a bad idea to pack a small amount of toilet paper for your trip.

Toothpaste and toothbrush

No one wants stick breath especially when crossing paths with a lot of strangers; it makes a poor first impression. So, pack a travel-sized toothpaste and a toothbrush in your carry-on. If you don’t have toothpaste and toothbrush for travel, stack up on mints, gums, water or other beneficial oral health products for your travel.

Lotion/deodorant/soap/facial wipes

Similar to stink breath, it is easy to start smelling funky after a long day of running around the airport and sitting through lengthy flights. This is why lotion, deodorant, and soap are important for your carry-on bag because it makes freshening up easier. In my experience, freshening up always lifts my spirit when travel inconveniences start to provoke my nerves. Plus, I don’t want to smell stinky.  

Medication

If you’re taking meds, don’t forget to pack these in your carry-on. It is never safe to assume that you can pack your medication in your checked-bag because you will receive the checked-bag immediately after the flight is complete.

Electronic devices and chargers

Having my computer to do work such as clean up my email inbox, having my kindle to read books, and having my phone to talk with my loved ones back home were some of the fundamental things that kept me from losing my mind during the major travel tragedy. So, it is a good idea to keep these things close to you for your own sanity. Additionally, luggage theft and misplaced luggage are very common when traveling especially when there are unforeseen incidences such as inclimate weather, flight running low on fuel and passengers needing to change flights, etc. Finally, keep your charger close. Don’t assume that your battery life will last throughout a day or several days of traveling.

Personal documents

Of course, it is necessary to keep your wallet, passport, and flight tickets within hand reach because you may have major challenges when traveling without them being easily accessible, especially for international flights.

That is it folks, those are the things I consider to be most important for the carry-on bags. If you want to be a rockstar, it may be worthwhile to strategically pack some clothes in the carry-on as well such as extra pants and shirt. If you have other ideas of things that need to go in the carry-on bag, comment and let me know.

How to do Valentine’s Day Alone

During my single season, I really enjoyed spending Valentine’s Day alone. While most couples waited for a partner to treat them to a special day and hopeless singles stirred their own tea into the sunken place, I enjoyed using the day as an excuse to treat myself. The weekend prior to Valentine’s Day or the evening of February 14 after work and/or school, I usually did one or two of the following:

1. Cleaned apartment and get pampered

During the weekend before Valentine’s day, I would clean my apartment and then pamper myself – get my hair done, nails done, the whole nine yard. I would listen to upbeat gospel music like Kierra Sheard, “Repin My God” or girly upbeat music like Destiny’s Child, “Bug-A-Boo” and sing out loud. Sometimes I even danced or sang to myself in the mirror. I also considered my loud singing to be vocal exercise for choir rehearsal because the soprano c is truly a high note (S/O to Kendrick Lamar). I stayed away from R&B/soul music that would trigger thoughts of discontentment (in the bible, I think this concept is called guarding thy heart?! *insert sarcastic tone here* Peep Proverbs 4:23).  

For the fellas, clean your apartment and then get yourself a fly haircut, facial, and pedicure. Listen to Lecrae “Hammer Time,” Kendrick Lamar “DNA,” or whatever is your favorite upbeat music. Sing aloud, do the Milly Rock dance, make facial expressions in the mirror, or check out your biceps. Stay away from soul music.

2. Bought myself nice things

I can’t pinpoint the exact date that I had this revelation but one day I realized that Valentine’s Day is commercial and glamorized with people buying nice things for each other like chocolate and flowers. Some people brought for a friend-with-benefits and others brought for a spouse. I decided to buy for myself. I remember the first time I bought myself a bouquet of flowers; I felt the same excitement as though I was receiving it from someone else. I felt even happier after opening the flowers, putting it in a vase with water, and observing the bright-blooming effect it had on the ambiance of my apartment.

Fellas, treat yourself to something you like, for example, a new tech product, the latest 2k game, or beard trimmer. After receiving it, put it to use.

3. Scheduled a date night with Jesus

This may seem pathetic to some and genius to others. As a Christian Single woman, who was committed to waiting for God’s best for me, I scheduled date nights with Jesus as other women scheduled date nights with their loved ones. I rationalized, if Jesus is my first love, I should prioritize spending time with Him on this day meant to celebrate love. I would prepare a candlelit dinner and play gospel music to usher in date night. When it was time to eat, I would have my plate on one side and my bible with a journal book on another side. I prayed, read scripture, asked questions, and spent time listening because I wanted to hear from The Lord as much as I wanted Him to hear me. I also rationalized, if I learn how to be in a healthy relationship with God, then I would be able to be in a healthy relationship with another moral being.

4. Netflix and chill

I mean lit-er-al-lyyy, I’d make popcorn or buy snacks and watch movies alone. It was the perfect opportunity for me to talk through the movie, laugh obnoxiously loud if I thought something was funny or shed a few tears if I thought something was sad without the hesitation of being judged for being a bad movie viewer. I also liked that I was able to choose movies that I wanted to watch without having to compromise with the preferences of another person.

5. Invited other single friends over

A few times I invited my close friends over to my apartment for a chill gathering – we cooked, talked, and played board games. When it got late, everyone left and I went to bed.

BONUS: Even now, being in a long distance relationship gives me more opportunities to spend Valentine’s Day alone. This weekend, for the first time, I visited a beach town in Ecuador called Ayampe. I walked the beach, grabbed coffee with one of my girlfriends, and took pictures. The featured photo was taken during my coffee chat with my friend. If you have the finances, I’d definitely recommending treating yourself to an international trip.

If you are spending V-Day alone this year, I hope this post encouraged you. Remember that you are not alone; according to the IG poll I took earlier this week, approximately 44% of people or 2 out of 5 individuals will be spending V-Day alone – some are single and others are in long distant relationships. This statistic is also reflected in a Fortune article entitled, “Valentine’s Day By the Number.” Additionally, I find it useful to remember that some of the people who are bae’d up on V-Day and showing off on social media are in dysfunctional relationships that I would rather not experience so I shouldn’t compare myself. I have challenged myself to be content and enjoy everything that my current season has to offer! I dare you to challenge yourself to this reality too.

With glorious love,

Donette

Source

Fortune “Valentine’s Day by The Number”

In 2018, is internet a need or a want?

I have stepped into a time capsule that has taken me back to the 90s. Life in rural Manabí has forced me to live without internet, relearn the functions of a 90s cell phone, and rely on a real camera for good quality photos. I'd be fine if there were no expectations for me to communicate beyond the years of this time capsule but this is not the case. I am growing distant in relationships and getting scolded for not being able to text, video chat, call, return missed calls, post, email, browse the internet and to simply be connected based on the social norms of 2018.

To combat the challenges of accessing internet I usually visit a nearby city at least once a week for connection because the cities have hotspots. The nearest city is 2 hours bus ride. During my visit to the city, I aim to do all the things listed above -- text, call, email and complete work-related tasks. On a good day, I am able to complete 3 tasks and on other days I barely get through one task. It is challenging to complete all of the tasks because I only get to leave work once a day per week but I need internet access every day. For example, right now, instead of writing this blog to post later, it would be ideal for me to conduct research on "what health promotion campaigns exist for diabetes and hypertension" or email a colleague about the process of completing a grant for rural health programs. However, since my lack of internet connectivity limits me from doing these ideal tasks, I am using the time to draft emails, prepare blogs, and write to-do lists so that when I am able to access internet, I can quickly copy, paste, and submit/send/connect with everyone like it is 2018. Though my job classifies internet to be a want, I am expected to respond to my program manager and others at headquarters within the same moment that they contact me. I have communicated my limitations with my manager and requested the organization to contact me via the 90s cell phone especially in cases of emergency but my manager, who lives in a city, continues to use WhatsApp to call me, email to send updates, and Sharepoint to upload important documents. Matter of fact, I recently received an emergency test call from work on WhatsApp and then got scolded for not being able to answer or return the call within an hour. Despite the political workplace dissension between the organization's classification of internet as a want and the leadership team primarily using internet to communicate with individuals in the field, this experience makes me think of the socioeconomic gap that is expanding across the world due to the impact of who/where/how internet is accessed. 

Over the past decade, internet has transformed into the primary mode of communication and henceforth has become a need instead of a want, similar to the utilities of pipe water and electricity in the house. For example, internet access is affecting who can complete electronic-based homework assignments such as research papers, apply for colleges and scholarships, apply for jobs posted online and improve economic status. Despite my frustration with accessing internet, I am aware that I am privileged to travel to an internet hotspot once a week to experience cyberspace. What option exist for others in rural Manabí with less financial flexibility and privilege to travel for internet? There is a computer lab in the schools, but only the students can access it. The students who dropped out of school or others who are out of school, cannot access this space. There is also an Information Center with public computers but it is often closed or occupied for trainings/workshops. If you have ideas of how I can more conveniently access internet or how others in the town can access internet, comment below. I would love to hear your thoughts. Additionally, I would like to conclude this post with a challenge. If you dare to understand my situation, I challenge you to turn off your wifi for one week, from your phone, computer, tablet, and any other device that helps you access emails, social media, and WhatsApp/iMessages. You can only make phone calls and send SMS messages. As you go through this experience, let me know what you felt during the limitation. 

What living in a machismo culture taught me about feminism?

Postgraduate school, I was offered a “Women and Public Policy” fellowship at a prestigious institution. During the interview, I was asked to define feminism in my own words and to my surprise, I didn’t understand feminism enough to have a personalized definition. So, I mumbled my way to a response that included the words “women and men should have an equitable balance of power.” I found this definition in my pre-interview research and regurgitated it. But in reality, when I thought of feminism, I didn’t have a real idea of what it meant. When I thought of feminism, I thought it included a group of women rebelling against professional norms such as slacks, blouse, and blazer to wear transparent leggings and tank tops at work. This skewed mental image and my ignorance of the topic were the main contributing factors to my avoidance of feminism debates and conversations – I did not know and I did not want anyone to know that I didn’t know, so I stayed away from the topic. So much so, that when I was accepted into the fellowship, I declined the offer and pursued another professional opportunity.

The importance of advocating for feminine rights (especially on the grounds of politics, social and economic equality) did not occur to me until after living in a machismo culture and witnessing firsthand the belittlement of girls and women by the hands of their fathers, husbands, brothers, cousins, and strange men. I felt utterly uncomfortable when I heard men vocalized, “women are only good for sex and domestic chores” and when I saw a woman at the health center in striking pain due to an incident of domestic physical abuse. I encountered these events on different days and thought of them as disjointed events but as I continued to witness injustices against girls and women, I realized that these events were connected under the umbrella of machismo-ism.

According to the Ecuadorian Ministry of Health yearly report and the United Nations Women report, 60% of women experience gender violence in the forms of financial abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse and psychological abuse (UN Women, 2017). This statistic depicts that women are not only perceived as inferior but they are also ensuring cruel treatment from their male counterparts at a relatively high rate.

As a foreigner, I am not exempt from the mistreatment of women. I have experienced gender discrimination and micro-aggressions in the country. For example, one day I entered a cab with a male driver who did not know the route to the destination. He drove approximately 10 minutes in search of a male to ask direction. During our search for a male, we passed 5 women in the neighborhood that possibly knew the route but the driver refused to ask them because he perceived women as unintelligent. When I suggested that we ask a woman for direction, the driver ignored me. In another instance when I was traveling on a coach bus, I rose from my seat for a short time and a man took the seat. The bus was full so I could not take another seat somewhere else. I showed the man my travel receipt stating the assigned seat number and kindly asked him to get up but he refused. He did not rise from the seat until other men on the bus began to advocate on my behalf and commended the man to get up from the seat. If it were not for the male allies on the bus, I, probably, would have had to finish the hour and a half bus ride without a seat and standing in the aisle.

While the gender equality gap is greater in Ecuador compared to the United States, the US is not exempt from the act of treating women as inferior. In the US, women are paid $0.80 for every $1.00 earned by their male counterparts (IWPR, 2016).

My appreciation for the feminist movement that emerged in the eighteenth and ninetieth century grew after I heard and witnessed these things. Now, if I were to define feminism in my own words I would say, “feminism is the act of advocating for women to no longer endure oppression at the hands of men in the areas of political, social, and economic well-being.” Meaning that feminism is an intervention to interrupt and dismantle the prolonged cruel and unjust treatment of women. I do not know what a disruptive intervention would resemble in the Ecuadorian culture nor in the US culture because I am not an expert on the topic. However, I know that women cannot fight this battle alone and male allies are an absolute need when fighting the injustice against mothers, sisters, wives, and daughters around the world.

If you have ideas of ways to dismantle gender disparities, email me or comment on this post. I would love to hear your thoughts on the topic.

References:

UN Women, 2017

http://lac.unwomen.org/en/donde-estamos/ecuador

IWPR, 2016

Behind the Proposal: My Experience in 9 Stages 

There’s this Kanye line that always resonated with me “Adam gave up a rib so mine better be prime.” In the Bible, Adam, God’s first man, surrendered one of his ribs to have a woman, Eve, by his side. Why did I start my blog with this?

God surpassed my wildest expectations when he brought Donnie and I together. I feel like the luckiest guy in the world to have her by my side. In this post I will highlight 9 things I went through in the proposal process and I know that men who have proposed to their Queens can relate to a lot of these :)

1. I experienced one alarmingly heartfelt moment of appreciation for Donette.

I’ve always thought to myself the way Donnie loves me is the definition of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. I pondered about this verse and wondered if I would ever experience this type of love from someone else other than God and mom dukes. It all happened one fine day, I was sitting down maybe after a Knicks L being comforted by Donette and thought to myself, the way Donnie loves me reminds me of the way that God loves me. (No matter how many times the Knicks lose, I can always count on her to give me a hug and tell me that there will be a next game!) In one overwhelmingly heartfelt moment, when I least expected it, I stopped looking at Donnie as the woman that I'm dating, and began to think of her as my future wife.

2. I researched diamond rings online.

After I realized Donnie was my future wife, I spent time examining myself to confirm that I was serious about proposing. I did what every smart person does this day and age and opened up a browser tab on the sly at work to Google “engagement rings.” It’s time to do some research A!!! To learn what a diamond carat actually is, and to understand the subtle differences between round, square, and princess cut rings. Once I started researching, I was in it for real. By the way, all my friends that are reading this if you ever need any ring advice don’t hesitate to ask I am confident enough in my new found knowledge in everything engagement rings.

3. I visited an actual jewelry store.

Armed with the minimal knowledge I picked up through online research I began my journey,  I visited an actual jewelry store and spoke to a sales representative. Tentatively, I handled a series of shiny gem candidates, each of which cost more than anything I've ever purchased. The price doesn’t matter, I told myself. She’s worth it. She’s my rib.

4. I was tormented by the secret keeping.

As wonderful as it is for me to be madly in love and to start imagining the rest of my life with the woman of my dreams, it’s tough not to share my joy with another human especially with my love. This was by far the hardest part of the whole ordeal. I decided I wanted to marry Donette in June and had to wait all the way to December to tell her because we were on different continents. :(((((((((

5. I entertained some inevitable doubts.

Being in a long distance relationship is hard and it is only by the Grace of God that we are sustaining. In a long distance relationship communication is SUPREME but sometimes communication wanes and that leads to arguments; or both of us are having a tough day and that impedes our communication. We’re all human, and the less awesome aspects of our personalities are bound to shine through now and again, so we argued. I remember us having one really bad argument and for a moment I thought to myself should I go through with this, will we even last throughout the time she’s in Ecuador. But the next day we forgave each other and I realized that it’s just a wave that passes and once again I was immediately reminded why I made the decision to propose in the first place.

6. I STRUGGLED to keep the secret.

Once the ring was purchased and a serious (financial) commitment was made, the secret of the forthcoming proposal became yet harder to keep. I wrestled over whether I should tuck the ring away on the top shelf of a closet at home, or walk with it everywhere I went and whether I should confide in a friend about everything or keep every detail to myself, thereby preserving the specialness of this milestone. I decided to keep the ring tucked away in my room and told a friend (shout out to my mans 100 grands).

7. I told a buddy or relative

Unable to contain myself, I eventually told several friends and family members about my plan to propose. It brought me relief to see that everyone, especially mom dukes, was unbelievably happy for me. This made me 1000% sure that I was making the right choice. Onward!

8.I fretted over every detail of the proposal

The timing, the place, and the approach all had to be just right. I only had one shot. Plus, I knew that the proposal story would be shared over and over and over again. No one wants a botched engagement narrative. I decided to propose in Ecuador when I visited Donnie because it was the soonest we would see each other and I couldn't keep the secret any longer. Making plans to propose in Ecuador was agonizing because I didn't know a lick of Spanish (now I know three words: pasta, gracias, and buenos días). I thank God that once I was in the country, He placed individuals in my path who were bilingual and willing to help me bring my plans to fruition.

9. I popped the question.

The night I actually proposed, I definitely sweated more than usual. I couldn’t sleep on the plane ride there stressing over every single detail of the plan, and shaking with anxiety as the time came to bend on one knee. No matter how confident I was, I worried about Donette's reaction, studying every inch of her face when I reached for clues as to how she feels as she registers what’s going to happen. When the time came I tensed up as I delivered my lines, I almost even put the ring on the wrong finger!! But then I heard the magical “yes!” and finally after 7 months I was able to breathe easy again, holding my new fiancé in my arms…

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!

What I have learned about the Afro-Ecuadorian culture

In light of MLK Day, I would like to highlight 10 things that I have learned about the Afro-Ecuadorian culture

1. In 1533, the first enslaved Africans reached Ecuador in Quito when a slave ship heading to Peru was stranded off the Ecuadorian coast. The enslaved Africans escaped and settled in Esmeraldas, which became a safe haven for many Africans fleeing slave conditions.

2. Afro-Ecuadorians make up 4% to 6% of Ecuador’s population and most of the black people live in Esmeraldas and El Chota. You rarely see black people in other parts of Ecuador.

3. Ecuador abolished slavery about 15 years before the United States, yet Afro-Ecuadorians are still subjected to anti-black oppression that black America started to address during the Civil Rights movement.

4. Blacks are still commonly referred to as “negritos” and blackface characters are still depicted in theatre arts. Most Afro-Ecuadorians accepts that these acts are apart of the culture. If a progressive Afro-Ecuadorian or an ally consults an indigenous, mestizo, or white Ecuadorian that these acts are racist, the usual response goes something like "this is normal here; it is a part of the culture” with a dismissive tone.

5. Afro-Ecuadorians also give each other the head nod.

6. During my visit to El Chota, I noticed that the landscape is not as pretty as other parts of Ecuador, but the people won my heart in a second. The culture is very similar to Afro-Caribbean culture – the way they dance, their attitude and antics, and the foods.

7. I would also like to visit Esmeraldas but the US Embassy has a block on it because it “has too much crime.”

8. My favorite Afro-Ecuadorian superstition is that, if a woman can dance with a bottle on her head, then she is ready for marriage. The woman who dances the best with the bottle on her head is most ready for marriage. Families keeps girls from getting married until they can do this. Consequently, girls start practicing this type of dance when they are as young as 5 years old.

9. Many Afro-Ecuadorians have participated in sports and are glamorized for being athletic. The majority of the FIFA World Cup 2014 team was black.

10. Religious practice among Afro-Ecuadorians is usually Roman Catholic. The Catholic worship is distinctive in Esmeraldas, and sometimes is done with marimba music.

Behind the Veil: her story

Many of you know about the engagement and have requested more details about the day leading up to the big question. Others are giving me the side eyes for not posting a blog last week. The truth is I was busy enjoying face-to-face time with Ayinde after seven months of not seeing each other. Yet, you were not completely out of mind. We thought about you and brainstormed ways to share our stories because we value your friendships, love, and support during this season of long-distance courting. Our first idea was to go live on Facebook and Instagram but then the brighter idea of doing a blog series came to fruition. Henceforth, in the next few blogs, we will tell you all about our time together, starting with my story of the engagement day.

Ayinde proposed on the first day that he got to Ecuador over a fancy dinner and my brain went blank. The proof is in the video – I didn’t hear his proposal speech because I kept saying “this is happening” while trying to not cry, I gave him my right hand instead of my left hand to put the ring, and I took my glasses off at the end of the video as oppose to the beginning. It was a beautiful moment, well thought out on his part. However, what you cannot see in the video and did not know is that I almost turned down his invitation for the dinner because I had a rough day.

I started the day at 4:00am with hopes that the two-hour trip from my house in Manabí to the airport in Guayaquil would be peaceful. I envisioned getting on the bus to the terminal, napping throughout the trip, and then taking a cab to the airport. This plan would allow me to arrive at the airport around the same time that Ayinde’s flight was landing and he would not have to struggle with understanding the language because I would be there to help him. Instead, annoyance and fatigue crept up on me as plans changed. I had to transfer to three different methods of transportation, pay more money and in the midst of it all, I did not get to make up the hours loss in sleep. I really just wanted to go back to bed and forget the kinks that made its way into my plans. But the thought of seeing Ayinde after 7 months motivated me to press forward. If I was not going to endure these challenges for myself, I was going to endure them for him in the name of love because our God taught us that love endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:7). And I did; I got to the airport when he was exiting customs.

As I endured the early morning blues, new challenges arose to test my knowledge of the language and culture in the afternoon. During our search for a cab to the hotel, several cab drivers sensed that we were foreigners and attempted to overcharge us. Considering that I loss money during my commute to the airport, I was not willing to lose more money. I was determined to get a fair price and make it known that we were not easy targets. I turned away three cabs out of emotion while Ayinde melted in the humid heat of Guayaquil’s oven-like temperature. Finally, we got a cab with a funny driver and air conditioning. Things were looking up – we laughed, we talked, and before we knew it we were at the hotel safely.

In the midst of settling into the hotel and conversing about plans for later that day, Ayinde mentioned a fancy dinner and I thought, “that sounds nice but I didn’t pack shoes for a fancy dinner.” So, we made a trip to the mall. It was full. We spent an hour looking for shoes but did not find any. I assumed Ayinde was bored because he kept looking at his phone and I kept trying to tell him to put it away because during my short time in Ecuador, I learned that speaking English, using a smartphone, showcasing more than $20, and whipping out a wallet in public were all risk factors for being the victim of a petty crime. Since we were already at risk for speaking English, I didn’t want our risk to increase so I was super vigilant for both of us. He received my recommendations well but it did not stop him from using his phone in public. I felt exhausted from simultaneously looking for shoes, being on guard for two, and processing information in both Spanish and English. So, we took a break by grabbing lunch and watching the new Star Wars movie in English. After the movie, we walked into an ALDO store and I bought a beautiful pair of heels.

Upon returning to the hotel, I was ready to reschedule the fancy dinner and sleep. I think eating a large lunch and watching a movie worsened my situation because I went from “tired” to “crazy cranky sleepy.” As I sat on the fence of indecisiveness about if I should go to the dinner or not, my mother texted with encouraging words saying that I should go. So I went. The restaurant was beautiful and I notice that our table was the only one with red rose petals and a center candle but I didn’t analyze the intricacies because it was subtle. So, we sat down. We ate. We talked. We took photos. We laughed. I read the question on my dessert plate and it asked, “Will you marry me?”

I thought Ayinde was visiting Ecuador because we had not seen each other in 7 months. However, to my surprise, he had other plans. He visited Ecuador with a diamond ring and popped the big question. He got my family’s permission, made plans with a luxury restaurant, got on one knee and said my full name when asking the question. He involved everyone in the plans – my family, my friends, our church, the restaurant workers, and our God. While every human guarded the surprise, God prepared me for the moment by impressing on my heart and gracing me with patience to do my hair, nails, eyebrows, and legs during the weekend before our reunion. God graced me with endurance to get through the morning commute. God provided a beautiful pair of shoes for the dinner. God sent a helper to encourage me during my moment of doubt. I was camera ready for a lifetime event I did not know was happening all because God was with me. The day of challenges, emotions, and festivities all pointed to this truth, God is omnipresent. When I think of my engagement day or I look at my engagement ring, I will always remember this truth, “God is with me.”

God was with the Israelites in the desert as a pillar of fire by night and a cloud by day, God was with me during the proposal, and God is with you now. God is always with us. Matter of fact, when Jesus died on the cross for our sins and the veil between the Holy Place and the Holy of Holies was torn, it symbolized atonement for our sins, an unleashing of the Holy Spirit to dwell within us, and the removal of barriers between God and man, meaning that we may approach God with confidence and boldness at any time and in any place (Hebrews 4:12-16; Hebrews 10:19). As the Lord attempts to engage with us, let us say, “yes!” with ought most excitement as a bride to be.

I challenge you right now to take a moment and reflect on your day. Write the moments that assured you that God was with you. After writing your encounters, I want you to skip a line and then write in all caps “GOD IS WITH ME.” Keep this note in an easily accessible place and return to it whenever you need a reminder that our omnipotent God is always with you!