domme suggestions

i do, i’m not sure what happened to them though...

Absolutely! “Good boy” is a classic, but it can get old. Any pet name can be effective if used in the right situation- a well-timed and appropriately condescending “baby”, “honey”, or “sweetheart” can make a sub melt.  “Baby boy” works similarly. Anything that compliments your sub while still being a bit degrading is very effective - call him your “perfect slut” or your “pretty fucktoy” or whatever strikes your fancy. Don’t be afraid to get creative!

In terms of body language, the #1 thing you can do to look and feel more dominant is to stand up straight and let yourself take up space. Lots of people tend to try and make themselves smaller in public spaces, mostly by hunching over, folding their arms, and closing themselves off. Do the opposite - stand tall and proud, and carry yourself with confidence. And if that confidence isn’t there yet, fake it til you make it. Acting like you’re confident often produces the feeling of confidence.

If you've expressed to them that you're feeling uncomfortable, but they're telling you things are fine (suggesting that you're overreacting) and are unwilling to change their behavior, get out of there as fast as you can. Your instincts are completely correct - they're exhibiting emotionally abusive behavior toward you. Please don't feel like you're a bad sub for putting yourself and your safety first. They're the one that's bad at being a dominant. Please, please, please keep yourself safe.

This is a great question - it really seems like you care about what she wants and needs out of the relationship, which means you're definitely heading in the right direction. I know I run the risk of sounding like a broken record, but communication is really the most important thing in kink relationships, especially if you're not sure if your partner is completely satisfied with the relationship. Talk to her about what she's getting out of this, and how you can better fulfill her needs as a partner (both in the bedroom and outside of it). Communication is really what drives relationships, and can bring you closer together than anything else.

No worries! Respectful dominance has no gender. And that's exactly the point I'll make to you - be respectful. Know both of your limits, talk about things beforehand, and make sure she's completely comfortable with what you're planning. Kink also doesn't have to involve degradation or humiliation, on the basis of gender or otherwise. You don't have to call your girlfriend a slut or anything - that is absolutely not par for the course. Besides, you can still play with gender roles, even if you're the one dominating your girlfriend! Steal some of her lingerie and heels (or buy some of your own) and boss her around while wearing just that. Seduce her over the course of an evening, instead of the other way around. If you're into pegging/ass play, get your inner power bottom on and dominate her while she's fucking you with a strap on. Gender norms are stupid - and sex is a whole lot more fun when you're blatantly defying them, regardless of who's the dom and who's the sub.

I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but relationships (especially sexual relationships) are a two-way street. Sometimes, your partner's kinks and interests aren't going to line up 100% perfectly with yours. It's great that you guys have some kinks in common, but you can't expect someone to do something you know they aren't comfortable with. If you care about the relationship and your girlfriend, you have to respect her limits. That's just how kink works.

don't ever think you're weak. you submit to no one but me.