𝖆 𝖘𝖙𝖚𝖉𝖞 𝖔𝖓: death and rebirth. falling from grace. gifted burnout. letting go. acknowledging warped views. the perspective of a messiah. martyrdom. forgiveness even for a saint. usurping god. cult mentality. victimhood of war. leadership to fugitive. no place to call home. catholicism. christianity used as a weapon. starved for attention. sacrifice. the lone survivor. kindness beyond measure. giving everything for just one person's happiness. the need to solve all problems. giver of paradise.
a private , selective SUNDAY of hoyoverse's HONKAI STAR RAIL . sporadic activity . canon divergent . headcanon heavy . may contain nsfw content . minors , zionists dni . heavily influenced by catholic teachings and stories ( i am not catholic . ) prophesied by eevee , 27 , he / she / no they . affiliated with solaurous .
hello! this is an independent, private, and somewhat selective roleplay blog for sunday of hoyoverse's honkai star rail. this means that i will only interact with mutuals. it's also heavily canon divergent, meaning that i will take lots of liberties with their story! this is a temporary rules page. please only follow if you are 18+! i will not write with muns who are minors.
i want it to be clear that i very rarely follow people first. im shy and forgor a lot.
i also do something a bit different from how others treat their blogs. affiliates and mains are considered part of sunday's canon. if said persons character is mentioned, im specifically referencing that blogs portrayal. please talk to sunday about them!
o2. don't follow if.
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i won't tolerate any sort of bigotry here. If you're a "proshipper," a homophobe, racist, transphobe, etc. you will be blocked. the same goes for people who continue to support these people. if you ship kaeluc, yaeyato, sunrobin or kamisatocest especially or knowingly support or interact with those that do, you will be blocked on sight, i hate you, it is 100% personal. i do NOT give a fuck if you're "neutral" on it, its still terrible.
do not misgender me or my muse, sunday uses they/them EXCLUSIVELY (its important as it relates to their connection with aeonhood) and if you do you will be blocked. (i only ask that you try your best. i won't block you for making a mistake here and there.)
o3. drama.
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please don't bring stupid drama on the dash. calling out racism and the like isn't "drama," and i will warn everyone now that i am pro-callout, but i don't really want to see pointless vagues that give people anxiety. i do not call people out unless they're next to the worst person on earth, but if others are racist especially or any other terrible thing and get called out, i WILL reblog it. this is your warning.
o4. activity.
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i have a chronic medical condition. it may take me a while to reply to you, as i won't write if i'm not feeling well. i'm also autistic and bipolar, so writing also depends heavily on my moods, energy levels, time, and other, similar things. if i haven't replied to a thread that you would really like a reply to, you are welcome to remind me up to twice. please do not ask me about it more than twice (unless we're close friends) as this will make me feel pressured and rushed and i will block.
o5. shipping.
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sunday is bi (heavy male preference) and that may come up here and there in threads. they are also trans. i am multiship but probably won't ship with everyone because i like to create dynamics individual to each person. i will NOT ship anything proship, dont even ask, just block me or tell me to block you.
o6. closing.
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i don't send in passwords, but if i follow you, i promise i've read your rules. i do not get dupe anxiety, so other sunday blogs are free to follow (please i love dupes please write with me). i block extremely liberally so if you're blocked feel free to ask to unblock.
please tag asphyxiation, images of insects/spiders, sexual assault/csa, and body horror. you can tag these individually or use my catchall, "eevee don't look". if i remind you more than once and you continue not to tag it, i will block.
my icon border was commissioned by aria @gfx and my icon psd was made by my bestie touya @kayoroi/@midokai! (mobile header and pinned post psd were made by me) i usually format and use icons because i like to, but you don't have to format anything with me, and i may drop some of the formatting if i'm feeling lazy. art credits
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@aethelara beware there are a LOT of... extremely extremely heavy themes/topics present and unavoidable with them so pls be sure to reread the rules and be sure u will be Safe with all of the things in there
sunday will interrupt conversations to fix things that are out of order like cups and pens and whatever and also delays shit like crazy if the timing doesnt feel precise enough based on vibes alone. they are so exhausted with having ocd but of course theres nothing they can do to stop it
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❛ . . . i am tired , as well . ❜ they lower their head , a moment of silence for the breaking of the both of their peace . and then , they lower themselves , to sit beside them . the cold floor is not an unfamiliar sensation . most think sunday too prim and proper and elegant to lay upon the floor , but that is where they've spent much of their childhood , sleeping and waking to an ache in their back . at first it was when the war ravaged their home , and they and robin had nowhere to turn . then , after gopher wood took them in , sunday would sleep on the floor when they misbehaved .
their model behavior didn't come from nowhere , after all .
❛ if you are tired , then let us sleep here . on the morn , a new dawn will rise with us , and with it , new challenges , and new achievements . until then , the weary ought to rest . our troubles will be there to address at a later point . ❜
how could they not ? emotion shown of any sort has always been taught to them as the root of all evil . how can they protect the weak and judge the sinful and comfort the virtuous if they are here , crying their eyes out ? how can someone seek paradise without the ability to even make themselves calm ? ❛ may i tell you a secret , argenti ? i am always so . . . so angry . every day i ask of myself more and more , and i cannot bear to keep up . how can i achieve my dream if i cannot even achieve the steps to get there ? ❜ they bite their lip . ❛ at my heart , i am rotten to the core . i have sinned , and harmed , and waged war . my word has taken more lives than any sword . perhaps you think no less of me , but you should . ❜
they're at their wits' end , frustrated beyond mortal comprehension at this silly little puzzle . they're doing their best to maintain a composed expression , but the truth is clear - this ❛ roobeek's cube ❜ was sent directly from xipe THEMSELVES just to torment them . they don't want to admit defeat so easily over these pieces of plastic , but the solution is beyond them , so they hand it over with a huff and pout . ❛ perhaps you'll have better luck than i . ❜
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they nod . ❛ very well . ❜ and then , awkward silence . they're long since accustomed to becoming emotional support for others , but what should they say when he only claims to be tired ? they know it's more than that . sunday has been intimately familiar with those kinds of eyes , that kind of expression , for almost longer than they can recall now . ( that was a different sunday , back then . untouched by aeonhood , still under gopher wood's thrall , seeking desperately to help others at every and any cost to themselves . ) ❛ i hope that you know that you can speak to me . i'm always willing to listen . . . and if you need advice , i'm likely the most experienced in providing it . i won't push you . i just want you to know that i am here . ❜
it actually makes me so sad how obsessed with control sunday is because theyve never had any and how that manifests in severe ocd not having control makes them want to kill themselves so bad
they dont really have a room in the express they just sleep in the party car but they have their own little area that is pristine and spotlessly clean and everything is disgustingly neat and orderly and if anyone touches it they explode
everything has to be symmetrical for them to the millimeter including their own body movements so they twitch a lot and any time they touch themselves on the head or arm or whatever they have to do it on the other side too and if they can help it they only wear perfectly symmetrical clothing, thats why they tend to gravitate towards suits and the like because theyre meant to be symmetrical and prim and proper and they obsess over little details like the position of their pants creases because if its asymmetrical they will also explode
it actually makes me so sad how obsessed with control sunday is because theyve never had any and how that manifests in severe ocd not having control makes them want to kill themselves so bad
they dont really have a room in the express they just sleep in the party car but they have their own little area that is pristine and spotlessly clean and everything is disgustingly neat and orderly and if anyone touches it they explode
it actually makes me so sad how obsessed with control sunday is because theyve never had any and how that manifests in severe ocd not having control makes them want to kill themselves so bad
they frown . the laughter feels like an arrow to the heart , equal parts heart - melting and agonizing . he doesn't know , even now , how hungering their heart remains . where they're from , there is a god for that - oroboros , the aeon of voracity , chewing and swallowing and ravenously hungering . perhaps , when they'd nearly touched aeonhood themselves , they could have become something similar , could have swallowed THEIR path just the same as how xipe swallowed ena - whole , becoming one , turning effortlessly into a singular point of feasting on that decadent , rich love . they could have eaten and eaten and eaten whatever n had to give , and still yet never be satisfied . there must be some part of him , conscious or otherwise , that notices and recognizes their fathomless longing , that pushes them away so that they do not get too close , set their hopes too high .
but it is too late for that . their hopes are boundless , just as incomprehensible as the depths of their yearning , or the cloying sweetness in their heart when he graces them with but a glance .
at dawn , they experience the sunrise . at dusk , the sunset . in between , only endless , hungering , terrible , beautiful , peerless love . they consider speaking out , clarifying , an , ❛ i love you , i'm in love with you , ❜ right on the tip of their tongue , pressed in the shape of a heart between their teeth like a hiss . they open their mouth to speak , tongue primed to say it , say it , just say it . the words never come . instead , a heartbroken smile . ❛ i'm so lucky to have you as a friend , ❜ even if the final word is said like a curse , no venom or bite but a resignation they hoped they'd never stoop to . perhaps this is simply because they'd never allowed themselves to crush in their youth , or maybe n is just that special . they don't know . all they know is that they take his hand , pulling it up to their cheek where they nuzzle against it , not unlike a cat . touch , and love , and matters of the heart have always been a struggle for them , yet they still make this leap into the unknown , a testament of their affections .
no , you idiot . i want you to love me .
❛ just give me a moment . please . ❜
they want to cry , but they don't dare drop a tear . the last thing they would want is for n to feel as though he's done something wrong . no , they simply have no idea how to vent their affections . they don't know how to tell them that they're their sun in the sky , their moon so selfishly gazed upon . they are to them a hero in a legend , flawless , inimitable , immortal , impervious . he is a god . where sunday has always followed so closely in the bowels of religion , only n has ever seemed so holy , sacred , sanctimonious . there are no words that can describe their endless want but genuine , unremarkable avarice . their hands close over theirs , and they lean in closer . ❛ i just want to stay here , for a bit longer . ❜
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now why on earth would that ever deter him? @dominicus cuddles in their sleep? looks like it’s him they will have to cuddle this time then, the metaphorical victim of their affections—— his expression is mundane as ever, every blink slow whilst he stands ‘side their bed, a pillow under an arm &͟. a plushie in the likeness of his beloved dog in the other. ( if she were here she’d be at his side now, barking &͟. barking so she could join them together on the bed but instead she’s with his sisters; girls day, as they’d described it. ) there’s a brief quirk of brow whilst they continue but his mien goes back to being deadpan in a matter of seconds, a soft noise of confusion escaping him whilst he throws the pomeranian stuffed animal unto the bed, where it bounces slightly &͟. rolls right to the very edge of the frame. ❝ that’s fine, i don’t care, ❞ he cuddles his puppy to sleep, how is it any different? ❝ now scoot over, we’re sleeping together. ❞ // cont.
the mere concept of it brings to their face a petrified countenance . he doesn't care ? they can't speak , can't force out any words , and the only sound that does escape is choked , meaningless . they linger there for several moments , before doing as they're told in silence , taking a second to retrieve n's plush from nearly falling off the bed . they can't look at them , running eyes fixated on that pomeranian . if only cannoli were here . they would have a much easier time entrusting her with their vulnerability , as they always do . emotions , and touch , and all things at their heart do not come easily to them . why he would want to comfort them . . . sunday , of all people , the destined martyr . . . what have their feelings ever mattered ? ❛ why ? ❜
❛ i know we aren't terribly familiar , miss senhime , but . . . forgive me for saying that someone will always notice . ❜ they give a smile , a feeling unfamiliar to their visage . ( they're reminded of their time as bronze melodia , giving advice and courage and comfort to anyone who may be suffering . ) they offer a gloved hand to take hers , cupping it between their palms . solace , and warmth , and love , even for those they do not know . ❛ i know it's terribly difficult to face life , especially from a position of leadership that you never wanted . i've been in the same circumstances , thrust into leadership , nigh unto godhood , all against what you truly wanted , all because you wanted to lead your people into happiness and prosperity eternal . if anyone understands , ma'am , it's me . if you feel alone , like you have to hide your face from the world , just know that i will notice , every time . ❜
