Sir Bull

AKA: Why Submissives Need To Be Tinkers

Many a novice dominant has witnessed their submissive push back against their will, or break established rules, and given themselves a time out to cool down before doling out punishment for the bratty behavior. It’s tempting when these times come, to take your submissive’s behavior personally, and to ask yourself why your submissive isn’t being respectful to you or, well…. submissive?

A submissive’s mind, which exists in a space where she has little control, and has to navigate around rules which you have placed there for her betterment, often works very much like the mind of a child. 

When children are told that they are forbidden to do something, their very first reaction is often to immediately do what they have been told not to. They have a hunger to know right away why they have been forbidden to do that thing, and need to see the consequences both from the act of doing the thing they’ve been told not to, and the ramification from their authority figure. 

A submissive is a tinker at heart. She needs to understand, and test the limits of her relationship. It’s as if she woke up one day in a locked room which contained everything necessary for her to be happy and healthy. Upon discovering she has everything provided for her, she will still need to try and pick the lock on the door, or try to climb out the window, so she can witness what is on the other side. 

Everyone’s submissive, at one time or another, will test the limits of their dominance. They need to know why you have made this rule for them, how swift your fury will be if it is not obeyed, and what form the punishment will take. There isn’t anything personal about it, so try not to take it too personally. They just need to test the limits of the figurative box you have created for them, and take stock of how it all works. 

So don’t take that bratty behavior to heart. Show her how it works by doling out swift, but cool headed punishment. If she wants to know how it all works so badly, it’s your job to show her. So instead of getting frustrated, or angry, politely thank her for giving you an opportunity for reminding her who is in charge, and give her what she wants - a better understanding of her relationship, and how it all works. Enjoy your punishment Princess - this is how it all works.

Impact play is a sexual practice where one person is struck by another person for the sexual gratification of either or both parties. It is a form of BDSM.

Spanking, flogging, caning, cropping, and paddling are all activities that are considered impact play. The difference lies in the implement chosen to deliver the impact. For some the preferred method of “impact play” is to cause deep tissue bruising, but this is more dangerous than other forms of impact play and requires more practice to master.

In all impact play, safety is of the utmost importance. It is common practice to agree upon a safe word before entering into impact play with a partner. This type of play requires participants to start slowly and become aware of their boundaries as well as master safe methods of engaging with their partner. Certain parts of the body are suitable for impact play while others are not. Participants should be aware of this before engaging in impact play.

There is a reason it is called a "power exchange". The submissive willingly yields its control to the dominant. Places the dominant's wants and needs before its own.

She was so cock drunk from his unmerciful pounding that it took her a moment to form words. It wasn't until he twisted her nipple a bit sharply that the pain brought her back into focus. "I want you to cum inside me!"

He snickered, never letting up on his rough pace. "You want?"

It’s time for a little conversation.

I’ve been getting a lot of messages. And I think it’s important that we define some structure. There needs to be a better understanding of submission. In fact, if you ask me why I do not have a boy right now, the most common answer is geography and because the boys in my area frustrate the hell out of me.

Why do they frustrate me you might ask? Because for many of them their concept of submission is a rough fuck. Sex and dominance are mutually exclusive. There are deeply sexual elements. Our hormones are at a very high level. We have primal need that engage in in these moments. But we do not need to engage in intercourse to express our dominant and submissive attributes.

So when you message me, and your first comment to me is that you want me to fuck you, my immediate thought is that you are just a hungry bottom and not a submissive. You are more concerned with your needs and desires than understanding what I means to be submissive. You just want to get something you want.

I am not saying that when you have a positive interaction with a dominant you cannot beg him to fuck you. Most boys do. However, they do so because they have earned that right to appeal to the Man.

Remember a submissive means bring joy to a Dominant. It means being their for him. It means making him feel good because doing something for another makes you feel good. You feel balanced. You feel connected.