light nomad

Another successful night passes. The books are sorted, the chairs are straightened, and finally, click, the library is locked. Nyx swiftly pockets the key before raising her arms above her head, a soft crack echoes off the walls.

Once the war against the Hoshidans ended, the troops dispersed, leaving Nyx alone once more.

Nothing new.

Yet the years spent in various villages, traveling, giving aid to those in need, were all well and good. All satisfying work and still, something wasn't quite complete. There was a void in her rare smiles, a missing pillar that couldn't truly lift the corner of her lips.

And perhaps, maybe that missing piece is among these halls,

"I can see you. There is no use in hiding."

And perhaps not.

The shock of seeing another awake at this hour was just enough to pause her steps. Nyx's eyes casually scan around to see if there was anyone else this small child could be referring to. Seeing no one, she turns back to the small bundle of light and slowly approaches.

She crosses her arms. Her voice mirrors the stranger's demeanor of calm, even if the words they exchange have an aura of aggression. Emotions are exposure, and feigning neutrality is the only way they can shore up their defenses. Besides, to be called a child doesn't faze her—many have made the mistake of undermining her, as this one seems to be doing—even if it is still terribly ironic coming from the girl who looks even younger than she does.

Yuni takes another step forward. The dead leaves crunch beneath her sandals, slightly wet. She does not get close; too close, at least. She is at the right distance to survey this girl, but far enough away that it does not look like a confrontation. Not yet. Moving too quickly could cost her the investigation. Similarly, however, moving too slowly could lead to even more chaos and destruction. She will not so quickly forget what happened in Joachim's village, and all the other villages like it.

“Her wings! They're almost dead accurate to those beasts from Almyra, don't you think?”

“How did you make them? Do they hurt to wear for long periods of time? Could you wear them for the whole painting session?”

“Your features are so pretty! You're as cute and smooth as a doll! I'm so jealous!”

A cacophony of voices buzz around a figure too small for Joachim to make it out from a distance, everyone's bodies framing and hiding the subject of interest. None of the people are particularly gargantuan though, suggesting whomever has drawn their interest must be on the shorter side.

(Painting... wings...?)

The thought strikes him, trying to puzzle together the current scene with several other conversations he's walked past today.

How in the world are we going to find a model who looks like a wyvern without being a wyvern?!

And then he finally remembers several moons ago, asking what a wyvern even was, and it all clicks together at last. He gets up closer, rushing into a sprint towards the group, staring down towards where all their feet were to see if he might see the pair of open-toe ebon boots he remembers that person wearing, and when he does see it, he feels confident enough to take the gamble:

“Lady Yuni?! I-is that you in there?” he calls a few paces away from the group of artists who all disperse and indeed show him the rest of the visage he was expecting yet still finds himself surprised to see.

Long flowing locks of flaxen hair, pointed ears underneath upturned horns, small wings at odds with the large tail...

(That's Yuni, alright.)

Yuni raises her arms. The crowd around her finally quiets down. Some pairs of hopeful eyes pin their gazes on her, wondering if she has agreed to be their muse at last.

"I'm sorry, but like I've been telling you all, I've already agreed to be someone's model. Joachim," she addresses him directly, which causes the crowd to stare at him in turn, "I'm ready. Let's go."

The abruptness of Joachim's arrival and Yuni's subsequent declaration leaves the crowd of starving artists frozen in shock. They are still enough that Yuni can push her way through them as if they were curtains, and gesture to Joachim to follow her out of the courtyard and into some quieter corner by the dorms. Here, standing by the walls, obscured by the shadow that the building casts, they can talk. And Yuni heaves another sigh of relief, much quieter this time.

"You came at just the right time. Thank you." A rare smile pops up her face, small but sincere, "I saw your name on the Golden Deer roster and have been wanting to seek you out. I was just occupied with other people… as you have seen."

She shakes her head. The students of Garreg Mach are hungrier than she had previously thought. She wonders what things they were willing to do in order to achieve their loftier if they were this determined over a painting competition. But that is a thought for later. Joachim has her focus now.

the question is so baffling that it slaps estel right out of her frustration. confusion moves in then, and then understanding. not the kind that yuni claims to have of her own intentions however—and, considering the question, she doubts the divine retainer has truly understood at all—but the sort that tells her that maybe they really won’t see eye-to-eye at all.

that’s fine. she hadn’t expected to.

deep in the forest, the bandits’ footsteps thundering after her, estel’s shadow had asked her but one question. she had no time and no need to hesitate on the answer—it was a very simple one, after all, and there was no room left for forgiveness in her heart. so she wished for the power to kill evildoers, that they could never use their power to trample over the weak again.

the answer to this question, too, would have been much simpler in the forest. it had not been a matter of wanting to kill yuni, merely a fact that she had to. she could have been anyone that tried to stop her. the shadows had told her so, after all: if they discovered her first, they would kill her. either they died or she would. as long as naga’s retainer and her knight stood in her way, the only way out was through them both.

“if you attack me first, i won’t hesitate like i did with joachim,” she promises as the final note of the song rings throughout the room. the dance is over and partners begin to separate, bowing and curtsying as they part. but estel does neither, only raising her head. no, whatever this second life is, she will not spend it laying down and waiting to die—especially not at yuni’s hands.

but even if she is no longer the same person that joachim and their teacher had once known, even if she holds no fond familiarity for the divine dragon’s retainer... the power she wished for has but one purpose. even then, no matter what the shadows tried to whisper to her, she refused to use it otherwise. she will defend the weak from those with evil intentions and cut down all those who dare stand in her way.

exhaling, she pulls herself free from the other’s grip and shakes her head. when estel meets the divine retainer’s gaze, the only color in her eyes is amber. “...but my wish was to have the power to kill evildoers—and you’re not evil.”

her boot slides back against the floor, ready to turn away and be done with the light and its follower. despite herself, however, she still pauses to offer yuni one last glance. no, she does not follow the same principles as yuni and her goddess. but, even in her last moments, she had refused to listen to fenris’ and their retainers too. estel had not wanted to turn to the shadows; she could only reach out to what was there.

the cruel reality of this world is simply that fenris’ retainers had been faster.

“...i know you think badly of me, but i don’t kill without a reason. as long as you leave me alone, i have no reason to do anything to you.”

"Then I'll leave you alone." The 'for now' is unsaid, but implied. The cruel fate of those who choose to jump from heaven is that they will eventually crash into hell. It is only a matter of when and not if Estel will succumb to her Shadow. The worrying part is that the rabbit does not seem to think of herself as a predator.

Was that her fault, though? The nature of Shadow is that it deceives everyone around it, including itself. How can darkness know its true depths if it has yet to reach it?

Yuni glances to the side. The other dancers have departed. It's just her and Estel now. She takes a step to the side, ready to depart as well, but not before speaking.

"And..." The words linger in her mouth for a while, rolling around her cheeks like a venom she has to spit out, "I don't think badly of you, Estel. That's the truth."

Whether or not she believed it was no longer Yuni's problem.

The disciple dips her head, turns her heel, and walks away. The lights in the ballroom shift, and the unmistakable creak of doors and partitions being moved fills in the rhythm of Yuni's footsteps. She draws further and further away from Estel, not daring to look back.

Ah... she should talk to Erma.

Yet, that certainty falters slightly with Yuni's second point. Failure in completing their mission...

"A holy knight? I wish you had been here earlier! Then we might have protected the orphanage and saved the lives of the children..."

Estel's words echo in Erma's mind, as they did constantly—even now, she regrets not being able to reach that poor village in time. The holy knights were centered around the cities, or traveling throughout the country, much like herself. Perhaps if more were stationed out in the countryside, in the mountain towns...

"That... is true. Every person that makes a pact with Shadow is a failure on our part. Would that we were omniscient—for as great as Blessed Naga's power is, we servants cannot know everything, or be everywhere at once. We do what we must, but the forces of Shadow are overwhelming... more disciples are created each day because there is tragedy, or some weakness that is preyed upon."

She crosses her arms, "You told me yourself. Blessed Naga only imparts her power to those she deems truly worthy. To those who are upstanding, pure, and able to withstand it. But Fenris... all humans have doubts, worries, weaknesses in their soul. Fenris deliberately preys upon that."

Erma's mind drifts to the criminals she's faced in the past. To Estel. And to her own childhood friend. The girl who had slaughtered so many in their hometown. "Grief and vulnerability, or one's desire for power and greed... does that fault not also lie with the Demon Wolf? Or perhaps even those humans who have failed to heed the teachings, opting to feed their own desires instead?"

It is why her modus operandi has been hunting down Shadow disciples and eliminating them—it is why she had been so keen to talk to Estel to begin with, that perhaps she could complete her mission here too. Ultimately, she did not. And that is what inspires this line of questioning now. Whatever guilt she assigns their side, she carries herself.

"Maybe there's more to this war between Light and Shadow than we think. Maybe it goes beyond pointing fingers at which side is wrong and is more about the people we've lost and will continue to lose. Or maybe..."

Yuni's voice trails off, struggling to catch up with the endless wandering of her thoughts, eventually yielding with a sigh. The more she ponders on these questions, the fewer answers she will get. That is the nature of the mystery of good and evil—it is inextinguishable, and she would sooner fall into Shadow trying to pursue the exact explanation than discover it.

She closes her eyes briefly. Then spins to meet Erma for the first time since they began speaking to each other. Her green eyes are still cloudy with thought, but there is an earnest attempt to clear the haze. Beginning with a shift in conversation.

Micaela appeared to be a deeply pious woman, devoted to Blessed Naga's ways. And though Joachim had respectable intentions... there was the matter of his blood. He had lost his childhood friend; though she was his motivator now, it was possible she could become his downfall in the future.

How strong was the call of Fenris, and would he one day be forced to succumb to it? Erma was resolved to help him reach his goal, and yet, a part of her still worried.

"Us...?"

How, without revealing the truth of why she came to these doubts to begin with? For she is certain that Erma is more devoted to Naga's cause than she is, and she is certain that Erma would hesitate far less than she does right now. She doesn't know how much longer it will be until Estel's secret is discovered, but for now, it is something she holds to herself. Her lips pull themselves into a tight, thin frown.

"People like you and I, who represent the Light's holy mission on Earth, are responsible for the devotion that people have to Naga. We nourish it with our actions, inspire it with our cause, all to rally up the faithful in the war against Shadow."

That is the very core of her mission, and part of why she travels so much to begin with. A Naga disciple finds their home amongst the people they serve, just as a Fenris disciple finds their den within the dark, lonely forests that surround those bright hamlets.

"When we fail in our mission, Shadow has an opportunity to establish a foothold. I can't help but think... that someone like Estel would not have made a pact with Fenris if we had done something sooner."

The divine retainer had always been so calm, so composed—rarely did that stature of hers break. That it does so now speaks to the gravity of her dilemma, and thus Erma resolves herself to do whatever in her power to help make it right. Assuming, of course, it was possible for a mere mortal such as herself.

"Joachim's village?" Erma's brow furrows. "Yes... the group of bandits that razed the town and slaughtered the villagers. Joachim and Micaela were the only survivors. The entire bandit group was torn apart. And..."

The third survivor. The shadow disciple, so driven by her rage and grief that she saw no other recourse but to turn to the shadows, and enact revenge on her village's butchers. Even now, the knight feels an ache in her heart when she thinks of the love and desperation exhibited between the three villagers.

A painful, tragic tale. As with many other lives tainted by the Demon Wolf.

It is a somber truth, but one that Yuni carries with her well. Her travels across her homeland have shown her as much—these villages remain in squalor, these people remain in grief, and people like Estel remain angry at the cruelty of the world. The only difference now is the way she sees that truth. Where she might have once kept the tragic reality in her heart, accepting it as some sort of fact of life, now she stands in front of it with questions—with why's and how's and if so's. To carry the truth is not the same as investigating it, and she recognizes this with every step of her restless feet.

She does not stop pacing. But she does finally look towards Erma, her normally sharp gaze unfocused with the haziness of thought.

Naga's disciple paces around. The square footage was relatively small, so there's not much space for her to actually work out her nerves, but she enjoys the constant mindless walking too much to actually care.

"I've discovered something that disturbs me," Yuni tells Erma. As she continues her romp, her eyes wander in every corner of the room except for where Erma's are, "and I just want to talk with you to clear my mind."

Yuni stops walking. Her back is turned against Erma, and her wings are tucked tightly underneath her capelet.

"You certainly recall the happenings in Joachim's village, yes? The bandits, the destruction, the death..."

she supposes that when yuni hunts down disciples of shadow for causing hurt and death in the world, she is being just and right. but when estel tears apart the heartless bandits who ransacked her home and killed all the children, her behavior is rotten? is that the logic of this world? is this what it means to follow the light?

...how hypocritical.

“you’re right,” estel says as she rises. it’s not a terribly difficult confession; she has never pretended otherwise. “i’m not sorry. i’ll do it again too. i’ll do something—anything—to stop anyone else from having to watch as their home is burned down and their family is all slaughtered.” she pulls yuni closer with a sharp tug to her collar, scowling. “and that’s more than you can say.”

yuni asks what her newfound powers had done? they have done far more than the light has. they have ensured one less evil in this world. what high and mighty throne does the dragon think she can speak from? if they had saved her home, if they had saved the little ones, estel might even understand.

but they hadn’t. and unlike the hypocritical followers of light, fenris’ powers had brought estel one thing that they couldn’t: relief. relief that no one would have to suffer at those bandits’ hands like she had.

“what have you done? did the light rescue the weak from peril? did it change the world for the better?” her grip tightens, teeth bared. “because all i remember is that the light—that you and your holy knight—were too late to do anything. you didn’t rescue anyone and you didn’t change the world for the better.”

estel shoves the other away far more sharply than required, shaking her head.

"There's so much you still don't know." She shakes her head, "You are in over your head."

The grip she has on Estel's hands grows tight, desperate almost. Yuni would never admit it, especially not to her, but in this moment, emotions replace reason. She recalls her sister. How anger and need had pushed her towards that same darkness, that same justification, and how it ended up doing something worse than killing her—it consumed her from inside out, ripping apart the parts that used to be her and replacing them with rot. She recalls what Estel says about the Light and thinks—she is right! By Naga, she is right. Yuni failed. Had she come there earlier, perhaps she would have swayed Estel to her side. Just as she might have convinced her sister to stay with her had she not failed her too.

Oh Naga, how difficult it is to serve you! Yuni wishes she were blind in her faith, that its bright Light may shield her from seeing the truth. But she cannot run away from the truth any more than those living in Shadow can. Ultimately, that is the aim of her deception—to lead to the one real truth. For, like Estel, there is also so much she doesn't know. She is just as much in over her head.

Yuni grits her teeth. She can't show any of this to Estel. Order must triumph over the chaos that undoubtedly still lives in her heart—faith must win over the doubt of her questions. Her expression cools itself into a vague neutral, and a deep breath allows her to release the tension she had been holding.

"I have been trying to guide you back towards the Light. But I understand now that Fenris' influence over you is too strong. Nothing I say will convince you."

The song shifts. The rhythm slowly lulls, and the violin begins to fade away.

"Normally this means I ought to get rid of you. Just as you follow the commands of Shadow, that too is my duty to the Light—purging the world of wickedness. However, we are on a different continent, with different rules. I'm not about to harm a fellow student."

And, Yuni realizes, she doesn't want to kill Estel. Why for, she doesn't yet know. But she feels in her heart that it is not what she wants to do. What use is her heart, though, when it has been promised to Naga in exchange for her sister? Would Yuni be willing to trade Estel's life for hers?

Yuni drops her hands. A bead of sweat runs down her forehead towards her cheek. She shouldn't make this about herself.

those nobles in the leicester alliance liked to talk too. seemingly wicked? ha! just listening to them had made her blood boil, so concerned with their own lives yet utterly unheeding of anyone else’s. it must have been easy just to talk from the comfort of such security.

but talking did not save her home. what she had done could not save it either, estel knows, the damage already done. but it will have saved another little girl raised on stories of grand heroes from watching those very same stories fall apart before her eyes—and that is more than any words could have done.

if naga’s retainer intends to imply something by her words, estel refuses to rise to the bait. those nobles deserved whatever end came to them—be it by her own hands or another’s. “do you ever ask yourself why, lady yuni?” she says instead.

the why of it all hadn’t seemed to matter then. no one cared why estel did it, only that she did. only that she shouldn’t have, that it was wrong to—because children are raised on stories of heroes bathed in the light, noble and pure; warned off the temptation of the shadows’ lies and deception.

but the power fenris granted her had been no lie. as promised to her, she had torn each of those bandits apart limb by limb until her heart could rest easy.

(it hadn’t, though. it still doesn’t. nothing short of bringing back her home and all of the dead could do so—but it still felt good.)

“why did the murderer kill those nobles? why would someone ever turn to the shadows?” estel shakes her head, pushing yuni away as the music crescendos. when next they pull in close, she continues, “maybe it doesn’t matter to someone like you, but i used to ask myself those kinds of questions when i was a kid. if heroes of light existed, why would anyone turn away from them? it was only in the forest that i found my answer.”

the music grows louder, faster. estel no longer cares if her steps are the right ones. do they think she made a deal with her shadow on some passing whim? estel, who dreamed of becoming a hero like all those in her stories?

she pulls the dragon retainer even closer, eyes ablaze. “it’s because the light failed them.”

Yuni maintains a level tone, though there is bitterness in the way she bites her consonants. This line of reasoning makes sense initially, and is often employed as a way to lure people into making a pact with Fenris, but she sees through its trickery. It is true that shadow only exists because of the light's deficiencies—the very nature of light and shadow is a tango much like theirs, pushing and pulling in tense steps and exchanging dominance, but ultimately needing the other partner to come alive—still, it is a choice to step into one side or the other.

She grips Estel's hands tight. Where the rabbit's movements turn errant, the dragon attempts to steer them back into order. A twist here, a turn there, and they return to the rhythm of the song.

"I know what you're trying to tell me." She shakes her head, "However, your good intentions do not excuse your rotten behavior."

Good intentions did not make good people, after all. She told Erma how pure-hearted individuals tended to break more easily under stress, and that had been true—she saw it happen to her sister, and she sees it in Estel now. How the purity of their hearts made it so easy for the Shadow to swallow it whole.

"Tell me, did your newfound powers help you rebuild your village? Did it rescue orphaned children from peril? Did it change the world for the better?"

 Yuni pulls Estel close and mutters, "Let me answer for you: it didn't. Fenris' powers have only caused hurt and death, and will continue to do so."

There she was.

Yuni tried not to let her agitation show, but the calm mask she normally donned could not help but shift at the sight of her. Estel… Yuni thought she was dead. No, she had seen the archer die, she knew she was dead. Yet here she stood inside the ballroom, clutching a bouquet of blue hyacinths as if nothing happened.

Yuni had her theories as to how and why Estel was here. But the method in which she got to Fodlan didn't matter. All Yuni wanted to know was if Fenris' claw still gripped her heart. Because if it did, then she knew what she had to do.

There was only one way to find out.

The music swelled. Violins cried out in passionate torment while the piano notes swayed in a syncopated, rhythmic bassline. Yuni's eyes narrowed. If there was any time to approach her it would be now, whilst people were too occupied with the intensity of the ball. She dashed through the crowd of dancers, stopping only when she reached Estel. She looked her in the eye.

"Let's dance." It was not a suggestion. Yuni extended an arm out to Estel.

estel had gone. far, far away from tournu, knowing no matter how she gazed homeward, she could never return. how could she? the only home she’d ever known had been destroyed. her dearest friend, her beloved teacher—they had seen her shadow and condemned it. even if she did return, there was nothing to return to.

but clearly fódlan had not been far enough to run. naga’s light finds her here still.

she does not flinch when yuni approaches her. her ears flick straight up, meeting the divine retainer’s gaze in turn. does she intend to condemn her once more? in such a crowd, estel can only imagine what a scene it would make. she had not brought her bow to the festivities, but they both know she hardly needs it to fight.

estel stares for a long moment, then reaches over to link their arms. “...okay. let’s dance.”

the music isn’t familiar to her nor are the steps, but she has always been an eager learner. she copies the steps of the pair next to them just a beat off from the music. twisting and turning, pulling close then away. were she dancing with anyone else, she might be smiling and laughing alongside the rest of the dancers on the floor.

what is it that yuni wants? estel wants to ask, but it feels like losing to do so. if it’s a fight, then she will find that she won’t just stand still this time. unlike joachim, she has no fond familiarity to spare for naga’s retainer or her knight.

if they had just been a little quicker, then none of this would have happened at all, would it?

but they hadn’t been. so estel took matters into her own hands—and she won’t repent for what they believe she’s done wrong.

"You're restless..." She remarks, her tone flat, "Don't be nervous. I don't intend on fighting you, nor do I want to reveal your identity to the people of this continent. I simply wish to talk to you."

There is no lie there, but by now Estel should know that Yuni's bark is far more dangerous than her bite. It cannot be helped: one must be this relentless when pursuing any disciples of Shadow, for they were uninhibited wells of strength. Even if Estel seemed to be in control of her own body now, disciples like her are quick to go from operating on sophisticated thinking to pure animal instinct. This chaos was the most basic tenet of their belief.

Quietly, Yuni thinks of Joachim and his own proximity to Fenris' influence. There is darkness that lays dormant in his blood. She decides that he cannot go near Estel. Not until she puzzles her out, at least.

"You're a student, right?"

The dragon leads the rabbit along, guiding her into a spin. When she stops, she pulls Estel close enough to where she could whisper to her—and only her.

"The assignments this month are interesting. There's political unrest in the land east from here. A string of murders have occurred in the Leicester Alliance. Seemingly wicked nobles were slaughtered in unfathomably brutal ways. Does that story ring a bell?"

To the beat of the music, Yuni pushes Estel away then pulls her back in again, like a tide carried by a storm's wind. She stares up at her, completely expressionless.

This is Yuni's first ball, and she's got some nice pink tulips with her! Now Yuni's a bit of a loner by nature and lived a nomadic life before arriving at the academy, so she's a bit awkward when it comes to socializing with others, but she has a natural curiosity about her that I think will drive her to speak to people anyways. Also!!! She is a dragon with horns and wings and a tail!!! You can definitely approach her about that!!! All this to say: speaking with her isn't as hard as it may seem despite her seeming like a very difficult person to approach hehehe

A QUICK NOTE ABOUT BALL INTERACTIONS:

I am open to receiving asks without context, but I will assume that any asks sent in this manner give me free reign to set up the scene in a way that I feel makes sense for both of our characters, and I will always assume the sender is the one approaching my muse unless otherwise stated in the ask itself. I get really anxious about crossing the line of what is and isn't godmodding, so I'm just putting this out there for my own peace of mind hAHHAHAHHA. Happy balling!

i am also open to turning any responses into mini's! just let me know either via reply or in the server if you'd like to turn our interactions into a thread.

It was the same as the flowers she had gotten when she arrived here—a tulip—but it felt much more special to Yuni knowing that it came from someone else. She took a step back from the mirror to admire the new addition to her headdress. She smiled. How nice, the pink went very well with the red.