Work chapstick. Car chapstick. Nightstand chapstick. Bathroom chapstick. Jacket pocket chapstick.Bag chapstick. You have to be prepared.

reading lolita on the train and after every page shaking my head to show that i am disgusted by it except every 4th page i nod my head and stroke my chin to show that i understand the nuance and message of the text

sorry for being weird and evasive. i was raised to believe that having wants and needs was a moral failing

"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back