high five, brain

ctrl+f is one of the greatest things to happen to academia and indeed this world

honestly getting cozy in bed is one of the top experiences one can have on this green earth

marvel movies are a type of microplastic. you know what i mean

the only thing you should care about is getting stronger arms and a stronger back nothing else matters

women matter.

sorry

choosing to ignore my weirdly symbolic dream because i have a lot going on rn already

making fun of americans is pretty much always ok if youre not doing it in an edgelord “you guys have so many school shootings” way or acting like we’re the only country that has racism. but like posts about americans and hamburger get me every time

so an opera singer and a ballet dancer walk into a bar and jump timothee chalamet

“people won’t be friends with you if you’re mean to them” is something you have GOT to learn in adulthood if you never learned it as a shut-in internet-socialized youth. you can’t just go up and say to ppl to shut the fuck up and kill themselves all the time and then expect people to genuinely care for you.

rage bait idea: like your own texts during an argument

you gotta have freaks and gross weirdos in your life it’s imperative to understanding the truth of humanity