happinessadvicejoy

Lately, I've heard of a label that I wasn't quite familiar with. The term "fuckboy", which many have defined as someone obsessed with sexual relationships with various partners. Seeing as I am a male, I was a bit concerned to hear this. "Great, another terrible perspective of seeing the male gender," is all I could think of. And I started to wonder if most women look at men as first "fuckboys until proven gentlemen", like some people view criminal suspects as "guilty until proven innocent." I also started to think of all of the women who may not know that the person they are seeing/interested in, is a fuckboy, because there is a lot of room for hurt in a situation like this. It was clear that this topic generated a lot of questions, and not many answers. So I decided to sit down with a co-worker of mine, Alicia, and discuss this topic as she is probably the most truthful and honest person I know. She has had her run ins with these fuckboys and offers a lot of advice, so today I share an interview I had with her regarding these fuckboys. Q: Regardless of sex, gender, age, education, and race, what would you classify as exceptionally attractive traits? A: I think someone that is generally kind, someone that is out going, and someone who is not too shy or quiet. They have to be who they are, and not an impression of someone else. They definitely have to have a sense of humour but be understanding at the same time. If they are loyal, honest and true, then they shouldn't have anything to worry about. I guess, in general someone who is genuine. Q: What does this typical "Fuckboy" (aesthetically) look like? A: Generally a Fuckboy cares a lot about what they look like, I'd say more than other boys, and they care about their looks for the wrong reasons. They aren't looking good for themselves, they are looking good for the ladies. For instance, when I go to the gym or my friends go to the gym, we go because we want to be healthy. Or we do it because we play other sports and we want a [performative] advantage. But when Fuckboys go to the gym, they only go because they are trying to impress the ladies. They are into fitness not to be healthy but to look good. They tend to also keep up with social trends, and they care too much about their hair. They also tend to generally look the same and hangout in packs. Very rarely will you see a lone fuckboy. They're a pack animal. Q: Let's say you're at a party, and you see two different guys both flirting with girls, how can you tell which one is the fuckboy and which one is just a big flirt? A: Well the guy who is flirting with only a handful of girls is definitely the better choice. It's obvious that he isn't trying to 'get' with everyone and hookup with everyone. But the fuckboy, would literally flirt with every girl he got a chance to. if he's not doing that, he is hanging out with his pack, with his boys, talking about how to 'get' with everyone. Flirting is fine if it's just a couple of people, and you're not being super obvious about it, but fuckboys go around and the flirt and hook up with anyone and everyone. Q: Do you find that people are generally quick to label someone as a "fuckboy", and once they are labeled as that, is there no return? A: Yeah I think with young men and young women people tend to be judged relatively quickly, and if it becomes your past it's a bit tricky to get out of that. If you've been a fuckboy in the past and people tend to label you as that, it would take someone very understanding and patient to help you out of that. Q: What are some tell tale signs that someone is becoming a fuckboy? A: Definitely lots of booty calls. Lots of late night Facebook 'wheeling' chats. If they start to lie a lot and literally become a "sketchy person", by like leading people on and using very sexual language, like calling people sexy and such, and not meaning what they say. They kind of become this person who wants to be loved by everybody, but in a superficial, leading-everyone-on kind of way. Q: I wanted an interview with you, Alicia, because you tend to give off this persona that you don't deal with any bullshit and you avoid fuckboys. My question is, how do you give off this persona so that everyone knows where they stand with you? A: Well with fuckboys, they are still going to flirt with you, they are still going to exist, and if you want to flirt with them a bit thats fine, but definitely don't tell them your life story, or anything personal [to build rapport]. Remember, they can't be trusted, so don't tempt that. Don't trust them; always be on your edge. So many of my girlfriends have had their hearts broken by these fuckboys, and thats simply because fuckboys are trying to be heartbreakers. If you don't let them break your heart, then they won't. If they are a bad guy, just stay away and let them work it out with themselves before you get involved. So if you're going lout on a date, or you're at a party, just remember to fuck the fuckboys. They aren't worth your time being with, and they're definitely not worth becoming.

The point of the matter is that no one can know for sure which decision is the best decision without making A decision.  So keep calm and go with your gut because more times than not, it'll know whats best for you.  And in the meantime, take deep breaths and think of small checkpoints.    

I think I finally understand why I loved some teachers and hated others. I’m going to share a story that recently happened to me, which made me realize why I had a very extreme love/hate relationship with school and learning. (Obviously for confidentiality reasons, the organization I’m going to talk about and the people I reference are all given fake names.) I spend 6 days a week, between 2-5.5 hours a day teaching swimming at a swim school in Toronto named Masters Swim. I’ve been teaching swimming for almost 6 years now, and I absolutely love it, though this is only my fourth month working at this new swim school. Since I’m new on staff I’m still learning the jest of how this swim school runs but I’m very familiar with the schools philosophy. With that being said, I feel as though I'm a position that is pretty low on the 'corporate ladder', so I don't feel as though I have as much of a right to 'correct' certain colleagues teaching style even if it doesn't help the student at all. This makes me feel really uneasy. What do you do when you know that the student being taught by his teacher isn't benefitting at all? Brad is the kind of swim instructor similar to a scientist. Because he used to be a competitive swimmer, he's been taught that swimming is like a science. And I get that. Having been a competitive swimmer myself, I understand why he would teach swimming like a science. Because in his eyes, that's exactly what it is; a science. The only problem with that is that teaching isn't a science, it's an art. See, a good teacher can show you the formulas or tell you how to cite a paper properly, but a great teacher will make you feel like you already knew how to do all of that, because they will relate it to you. A great teacher doesn’t understands how you think nor pretends to, but tries many different was to help you understand so that no one is left behind. More importantly, a great teacher forgets all about what they already know and attempts to understand ways to teach what they don't know. Even if it means diverting from the lesson plan or teaching about something outside of the curriculum. Above all, a great teacher won't focus on the what but will focus on the how, when they teach. See the difference between me and Brad is that Brad teachs the subject; swimming in the form of a science. When I teach though, I teach the student, not the student. I understand that everyone learns a little differently and that no one should be left behind. If that means I have to think of 10 ways to teach one skill instead of the 1 generic way that will help only most of the students, then I better get my pen, paper, and brainstorm cap out. Because if there is one thing worse than a class that is mostly understanding what's being taught, it's being that kid in the class where everyone gets it but you.

MENINISM: a joke. like a literal joke. the concept was created to mock male anti-feminists, but they didn't get the memo and rolled with it like it was a legitimate thing