take the moon for a ride

baseball fights are better than hockey fights because everyone expects a fight in hockey. baseball fights are some real hater shit

why are moms capable of just leeching vibe arsenic into the atmosphere when they’re pissed

the real answer to almost every "does [identity A] belong in [identity B] spaces" question is actually just "these spaces are informal social groups and if you're cool you can hang, don't worry about it"

not without those fire exits I'm not. have fun in your death trap, ladies

Im always scared to call someone my friend because what if they dont consider me a friend and hate me because of that

met a woman today whose original real actual given-at-birth first name is "Vendetta." ma'am are you aware you are a videogame protagonist and/or a character in a skullduggery pleasant novel. real quick sorry to bother you miss but who exactly were your parents expecting you to avenge in their name

the worst part is I can't dare ask her that last question because then she might say something like "You don't remember, do you?" and pull out a katana and obviously I'm not stupid enough to take that risk

i hope you all think of me not just as your friend but as your mutual who likes your personal post like way too soon after you posted it