I Can See You Loud And Clear

A Caesar salad pizza is just a Caesar salad on a big ass crouton.

I don’t like to do stuff like this, but honestly, we just can’t afford to do much of anything, and I would love to be able to take her somewhere nice. The mountains and hiking is what we love so most likely there. Any amount helps me out and I am trying to save as much as possible myself. Anyways, if you make it to my page here and would like to just send $1 my way, it would be appreciated.

This morning at work, some whore of a person brought in donuts. I am on a diet and all I want to do is take the whole box and hide in the closet and eat every single one of them and bathe in my sugar glazed tears and I am so hungry omg

With the supreme court ruling on same-sex marriages I can only wonder if the LBGT community is planning a well thought out, extravagant and yet...tasteful riot. I hope they flood the streets in matching shoes and belts and throw elegant confetti and go in places of business and make them more fabulous instead of ransacking or burning them.

Ever be standing at a urinal taking a piss and you finish and right as you are shaking off the last drops, a coworker walks in and sees you shaking vigorously at the stall and like you don't want them to think you are jerking it so you say a word of greeting and put everything back in knowing full well you're about to have pisspants the rest of the day?

So today as I was walking back to my department from across the work complex (I work for a county and had to trot all the way to the other side to fix a computer) an older Asian man stopped me and asked for help finding the courthouse. I smiled and was able to walk with him and show him the entrance. He looked out of his element so I wanted to make sure he didn't get lost. Once we got there he looked at me and bowed all quick like with his hands by his side and said "dōmo arigatō". I smiled at this because I knew this is what my training was for. All those years as a child in karate class had led up to this single, defining moment. I quickly put my hands at my side, bowed down as he had just done, and with all my courage I could muster, I let out my reply: "do- itashi mashite". I looked back at him and I swear I've never seen a grin so freaking big. He walked into the divorce court with the biggest smile on his face. I'm just glad I could brighten his day.