“You’re A Daisy If You Do.”

Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”

Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”

(The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)

Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”

(I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)

Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”

Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”

Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”

Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”

(My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)

Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”

Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”

Homeless Man: “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”

oh wow!!!

well if we’re going to be friends I should probably give them a gift..

oh!!!! a flower! I love flowers!!

I’m gonna give this to my new friend!

I wonder if they got me anyth-

Arthur: WHO WANTS TO PLAY SOME DOMINOES?!?!!?

Everyone: *ignores Arthur*

Hosea:

1865, Kearney, MO

“Sure, I fought in the war.” Jesse took a puff from his cigar, looking over at the Yankee that had been sitting next to him. 

The Yankee looked the man over, his eyes landing on a piece attached to the mystery man’s hip. “Grey back?” He asked, hatred in his eyes.

They Grey Backs always had their Griswold’s on their hip. You could spot one from a mile away, carrying that piece. “Yes sir.” Smirked Jesse, putting his cigar out on the bottom of his boot. 

The Yankee looked back to the man he now knew as an enemy, a shit-eating grin making it’s way to his lips. “We kicked your asses, even had you running in the battle of High Bridge.” 

It was Jesse’s turn for the shit eating grin to make it’s way to his own lips. “The reason why we were running was because I blew that bridge to just sticks with half a keg of dynamite.” 

Jesse’s hand slid down to his Griswold, pointing it at the Yankee and pulling back the hammer. Before the Yankee had a chance to respond, Jesse had pulled the trigger. Everyone in the saloon grew quiet, Jesse only stood, finished his shot of brandy and left.

This man was definitely not one to mess with.

______________________________________________

Looking for a female to roleplay with. Preferably realism.

-No one liners

-Realism

-Females only unless there is a group rp

-Look it up if you’re confused on something before you write it

-I don’t expect you to know American history, try your best.

-Romance and sexual roleplays allowed.

1865, Kearney, MO

“Sure, I fought in the war.” Jesse took a puff from his cigar, looking over at the Yankee that had been sitting next to him. 

The Yankee looked the man over, his eyes landing on a piece attached to the mystery man’s hip. “Grey back?” He asked, hatred in his eyes.

They Grey Backs always had their Griswold’s on their hip. You could spot one from a mile away, carrying that piece. “Yes sir.” Smirked Jesse, putting his cigar out on the bottom of his boot. 

The Yankee looked back to the man he now knew as an enemy, a shit-eating grin making it’s way to his lips. “We kicked your asses, even had you running in the battle of High Bridge.” 

It was Jesse’s turn for the shit eating grin to make it’s way to his own lips. “The reason why we were running was because I blew that bridge to just sticks with half a keg of dynamite.” 

Jesse’s hand slid down to his Griswold, pointing it at the Yankee and pulling back the hammer. Before the Yankee had a chance to respond, Jesse had pulled the trigger. Everyone in the saloon grew quiet, Jesse only stood, finished his shot of brandy and left.

This man was definitely not one to mess with.

______________________________________________

Looking for a female to roleplay with. Preferably realism.

-No one liners

-Realism

-Females only unless there is a group rp

-Look it up if you’re confused on something before you write it

-I don’t expect you to know American history, try your best.

-Romance and sexual roleplays allowed.

“Well I actually support the second amendment”

Far leftists: “you conservative bigoted hick. Go ride your bible into the sunset and marry your cousin”

“I also support gay rights”