Primavera

Am I going to mourn how I will never love anyone like I love you ever again forever? Because whenever that realization weighs on me, it devastates me. All that love, and oh my god there’s so much love, I didn’t even know it was possible to love someone like that and that much. But even the idea, just the thought of giving it to someone else feels like betraying my soul. My heart, my soul, my body and my mind, all of me belongs to you and no matter how much I try, I’ll never be able to give myself the permission to love another like I love you. Loving you is scared, at this point in my life it feels like the only religion I’ve known. It feels like I won’t be true to myself if I even dared to think to love someone let alone loving them as much as you.

It’s not that I won’t fall in love again. I think I can. I’m silly and naive like that. I fall so damn easily. Even though I know I’ll never love someone the way I love him but I think I can love again. But I do know that, it’s not worth it because no one will ever fall for me. It’s always going to be the same story for me. Unrequited love. You see I fall too easily but I’m so fucking hard to love. So it’s better this way, being alone.

Crossdressing? Gender Change? Nope, it's XXX.

kise: so how will you impress me on our first date?

Nijimura: where have you been my whole life?