djiange

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His king is the Sun in heaven, like what’s written in poetry.

However dazzling the king might be, he is only mortal, while Merlin isn’t really. Kings rise, Kings fall, Merlin is always there, a phlegmatic, celestial soul.

In Taoism it says “the heaven and earth have no mercy; they simply treat everything and everyone like a straw” which represents an aura i always feel around merlin. (idk if there’s an equivalent concept in other cultures, perhaps eldritch beings like Cthulhu? it’s not intentional wickedness, they just don’t care.)

Just finished watching The Fall recently, and I think Merlin’s amorality probably could be classified under this “treatable but incurable” category, or even untraceable. His deeds surely results from his obsession with Arthur and his solitariness/alienation to some extent, but they mostly only bring out what has been in merlin for a long time (in my headcanon).

His obsession for Arthur is like a habit of collecting dolls or some godlike sense of control. Despite the apparent imbalance in their relationship, the sacrifice in the name of love is more of a self-satisfying mannerism for him, along with his characteristic self-destructiveness.

As for his loneliness, even though he doesn’t have a father figure or a mentor, he grows up in the care of Hunith and Will, which should be considered a loving environment. of course childhood trauma could originate in rather trivial, one-time thing, but I think (or I’d like to think) his deviance isn’t caused by the surroundings (and on the contrary, it’s the said surroundings that condition him into conforming the societal norm just fine when life was more mundane as a peasant).

One thing particularly unsettles me through the show is his lack of suffering from PTSD. (i know it’s a kid show featuring a lot of bad writings but still.) Most of his emotional reactions function well. he is able to genuinely laugh and cry and get angry, but then those feelings seem quite shifting/inconsistent sometimes, e.g. how easily he is cheered by Arthur’s head-lock shortly after Freya’s death, or he never appears eaten by guilt afterwards or afraid of how easy violence is with his power when he is often quite generous to shows some compassion like “I don’t want it either but you’re not making this easy” but then kills with an attitude like “Oh no, anyway. Last week...” and it’s not even a gradual process, his unaffectedness starts in 101 when he chooses to stay even after witnessing the execution which is just too sociopathic for me.

少女革命モルガーナ

my fake cc cover compilation of 2020