Usopp draws a compass on Zoros arm as a joke, but Zoro legit tries to follow it when seperated from the crew

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Usopp draws a compass on Zoros arm as a joke, but Zoro legit tries to follow it when seperated from the crew

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Being disemboweled would fix me
Zoro and Sanji accidentally get married on a random island, and Sanji is devistated when he finds out about it in the papers after.
Zoro tries to tell him its "Not a big deal." And that they can "get divorced just as easily."
This doesnt cheer Sanji up at all, instead hes just wailing about not wanting to be a divorcee at 19, and "c'mon Moss, cant we work this out?"
"The fuck?? No. - youre straight cook!" Zoro reals back at having to remind the woman obsessed weirdo of that fact.
"So?! You are too!" Yells right back at him, as though this somehow helps his case of them staying together.
"Uh. No. Im not."
"Oh." Sanji pauses momentarily as he absorbs this information, and then doubles down. "Great! Then i just have to learn!"
"Learn...what."
"How to be gay!" Sanji glares at him like that was an obvious conclusion for anyone to draw.
"You cant...learn to be gay Cook."
"Watch me."
And, with the challenge issued, the two of them enter into the strangest game of gay chicken.
Um...
Sanji somehow ends up in custody of Yonjis kid, but with the childs green hair and curled eyebrows everyone on the crew keeps genuinely forgetting that the kid isnt Zoro and Sanjis baby.
Nami asks if theyve thought about having another one.
Chopper had started noting down Zoros medical history in the kids chart.
Ussop makes a comment of "lucky your morning sickness never got too bad!" When they meet a pregnant woman.

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"Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba is such a Zoro song
Need a version of " How to Deal When Your Intimidating Neighbor is Actually an Omega" with omega Sanji and, i dont know, Alpha Usopp?
Need Law, or someone not on the crew,to complain about Zoro and Sanji being obnoxiously in love, and how they are always rubbing it in everyone elses face.
Its important that this is someone not on the crew, someone eho never sees the quiet or sweet moments between the pair. No, this is someone who has only ever seen the two insulting each other and/or brawling.
Who wants pain and angst? Anyone? Just me?
Alright then
Zoro waking up after the raid in wano, and ends up having to kill Sanji. He does, its the hardest thing hes ever done. He is destroyed. So upset he might take his blade to himself -
Then the clock hits midnight and the day resets. And he has to do it all over.
During a scuffle Zoro (Alpha) got hit with a devil fruit power. He hadnt quite figured out what effects it was having on him, hadnt yet fully realized that he was going to be forced to follow any command given to him for the next 24 hrs.
He started bickering with Sanji (Omega) after the fight, enjoying riling the other man up, when the Cook threw in a careless, "Oh, bite me."
So Zoro, in a trance, did.
He bit the cook deep. Right on his neck. Leaving a permanent mark right where a mating bite should go.
The two of them are equally shocked, angry, and horrified.
And now they are stuck with each other for life

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A couple of dock labourers try to impress twink pre-timeskip Sanji, flexing and lifting heavy crates, trying to show off.
Then Zoro walks by, casually lifts two of the crates and carries them towards the Merry.
The other men look gobsmacked, but try to brush it off, try to get Sanjis attention back.
But Sanji is distracted by the last crate, "oi! Take this one too!" And he rocks the crate back and kicks it into the air, kicking it once more so it lands perfectly on top of the crates Zoro is already carrying up onto the deck.
Zoro barely grunts at the extra weight.
The dock workers, dejected, find somewhere else to be.
A devil fruit user hits the crew and scrambles them all up. It doesnt make them switch bodies. It doesnt make them swap personalities.
It makes them switch vices
So now Luffy is coughing up a lung and making disgusted faces as he chain smokes Sanjis cigarettes.
Chopper giggles as he sways, bottle of rum in his hoof, happily telling Luffy that hes going to scold him for smoking.
Robin well. Robin wants to eat. She wants to eat everything. She wants to eat meat.
Too bad Sanjis busy making all kinds of deserts. Cotton candy, strawberry cake, a variety of chocolates. Not a balanced meal at all, and he is burning through their sugar supply quicker than he would like, but thats not important when theres ice cream sundaes to be had!
Nami is sitting back, watching Sanji work as she tells him all about the time she single handedly saved an entire village from a giant man eating donut. They gave her a medal and put up a statue of her - or so she says
Usopp would probably love to be listening to Namis story. He would enjoy it far more than this book from Robins collection. Hes developing new fears with each page he turns. He lets out a yelp every so often, but he cant seem to put the book down.
Zoro is the only one missing all of the chaos. Hes too busy bellow deck counting all of their money. He would make fun of Nami for this being her main vice - but he finds the act of counting things is actually pretty peaceful. Too bad Nami will later charge him just for touching their gold without her permission.
So, a pretty normal wednesday for the chaotic crew.
in Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle AU
Sanji flirts with women at every bar they enter - as well as every women he encounters throughout the day - but he doesnt expect anything from it. A bit of conversation, a chance to shower a woman with all the complements she deserves, and yes, if she is interested in more Sanji is eager to give her whatever she desires. And if she isnt interested in more, Sanji still considers it time well spent.
Zoro, who keeps his eyes on the cook at each of these outings, starts to also keep track of Sanjis success rate. He mocks Sanji for his inability to seal the deal.
Zoro, however, seems to be completely oblivious to the fact that often when a woman is looking for more than conversation with Sanji, she ends up running off when she catchs Zoro glaring daggers at her.

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Losing my absolute mind!
Hitman Reborn is turning 20!!
I have Mukuros trident sitting on my Desk right now. Chrome Dokuro was my girl!! One of my first cosplays ever
I hope they do something fun for the anniversary
❤
I dont believe that Zoro would take his haramaki off for sex