𝑫𝒊𝒗𝒙𝒏𝒆 ☯︎︎

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

Part 16

Part 17

Part 18

Part 19

Part 20

Part 21

Part 22

Part 23

Epilogue

Extras (set post Worth Remembering)

masterlist

» series

ᝰ HOME BEFORE DARK – childhood friends to strangers to lovers, fake dating

beginning . ii . iii . iv . v . vi . vii . end (blurbs)

ᝰ THE ACT OF UNRAVELLING – partners in crime, secret relationship

beginning . ii . iii . iv

ᝰ BETTER OFF – exes to lovers, toxic relationship

beginning . ii . end . alt end (blurbs)

ᝰ WATCH AND LEARN – sex first/feelings later, love triangle

beginning . ii . iii . iv . v . vi . vii . viii . ix . end . alt end (blurbs)

ᝰ CAM GIRL – smut with plot, rich boy/poor girl

beginning . ii . iii . iv . v . vi . vii . viii . ix . x . xi . end . alt end (blurbs)

ᝰ OUT OF BOUNDS – forbidden love

beginning . ii . iii . iv . v . vi . end

» one-shots

ᝰ SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY (au masterlist)

ᝰ IMPERFECT STRANGERS (blurbs)

ᝰ HARD TO IGNORE

ᝰ PUSH AND PULL

ᝰ BITTERSWEET

ᝰ LOOKING TO SCORE

» blurbs

» headcanons

» drabbles

frequently asked questions

• are there things you don’t write about?

i do not write noncon/dubcon, certain kinks (daddy/mommy, breeding, innocent reader/corruption), incest (including step-family), cheating, or rpf.

• do you have a post schedule?

no, i post sporadically.

• what time zone are you in?

eastern.

• can i be the (emoji) anon?

🇧🇷 💗 🍓 🐇 😻 🏍️ 🌸 🩵 💘 ☃️ 🥂 🦌 are taken, but anything else is cool!

• who do you write for?

Everything went down in flames. Save for you, you weren't burning. Not an spark touched your skin. Was it the distance or the control? Who knows. But one confirmation which you held was that tonight you won't die. Not so soon either.

Careful, not all Gods are worshipped.

The words rang in your ears and as if on cue, you found him again.

In this reverie of madness, he held your sight when you attempted to turn - the eyes tinted with crimson.

.

"I am sorry for your loss, m'lady."

You had seen it all.

You had your fair share of encounters, received news and such. Women losing their mind and sanity after delivered with a news this devastating. Notably, no woman would feel any bliss after knowing that they had lost their child. Lost the chance of motherhood before experiencing it. Violent outbursts was the most probable outcome.

"This is a hard time," The midwife spoke softly. "Yet, you shouldn't neglect your health."

You perceived the softness to be fear. She must have had dealt with situations like these, most of them traumatizing as you assumed. Perhaps, she expected the same from you too.

You tore your gaze off her, leaning back on your bedframe, "I'd like to be left alone."

Your declaration was answered with compliance. Offering a humble bow, she bid you farewell, walking out of your chambers. Once her footsteps seized, you finally let your guard down. Breathing out a sigh of relief, you laid back down on your bed.

"Good riddance," You muttered to yourself. Moments of such vulnerability wasn't rare, considering you were served with loneliness, lately. Save for the times you spent in the presence of Sukuna. His decree, one might say. Your attention shouldn't be wasted on anyone but him. You scoffed recalling his words. Involuntarily, you stroked your belly, the corner of your lip curled up.

Once a house to life, given by your husband; now lay vacant from your doing.

A twisted sense of pride swelled up in your chest, a wide grin stretching on your face. You were successful in your quest, again. Mercilessly, you uprooted the seed of your husband's lineage.

Perhaps, you've truly gone sick.

Yet, this revolt of feelings were miles lesser than the repugnant you encountered when you realized your first pregnancy. You were on the brink of clawing out the creature growing in your womb. You'd have torn it apart with while revelling in the joy of watching its blood drip down on the face of Earth. If not for Sukuna's presence in the room, you might've gone through it.

You lost a fragment of yourself, that day.

Throwing up countless times, dizziness, nausea, even losing your consciousness while walking down. No, they weren't pregnancy side effects. More so, the outcome of the stress accumulating in you.

Sickening. His kin you'd have cradled in your body. To be born and grow up into a revolting, merciless creature like his father. To take up place in your womb, your flesh and blood and combining with his – a living proof of your plight. Disgusting.

Never. You'd never let that happen.

You'd never succumb to such monstrosity.

You had already given up your freedom, your dignity, your alight life to Sukuna in exchange of the lives you held dear. The lives back in your ancestral village, home to your kin.

You were affirmed. An heir of Ryomen Sukuna would never be birthed from you.

Speak of the devil, he appears.

An overwhelming familiar aura surrounded your very being, the doors to your chamber slid open, your captor, your husband strolled inside. Even his mere presence held the malevolence in him. You attempted to rise from your position at his arrival.

"Sit." He commanded.

You silently obeyed his order, keeping your gaze settled on your lap, the energy had your stomach churning with trepidation; at times when you didn't do anything either. And this time, you were guilty. Two moments passed in silence until he spoke.

"I heard from the midwife."

You took in a sharp breath, swallowing a lump in your throat. It was the same ordeal, like the first two times. Yet, you were a tad bit calm since the previous encounters. Probably, due to the fact you were getting used to this role. In this past moons, you had developed into the wife, he was carving you out to be. Giving him just the reactions he wanted, for that saved you a lot of anguish and pain. Even if it came at the price of your self-respect. This was the only way.

With your head hung low, you spoke, "Forgive me, my lord. I am incapable of bearing you an heir. I-It must have been my fau-"

"Not another word."

You instantly stiffened up, his deep voice causing chills to run down your spine. Did you make an error? Was he aware of your tumultuous acts? Was the play not convincing enough?

He held your chin, forcing you to look up at him. All of his four, red eyes bore into you. You bit on your inner cheek, blood coursing in your veins - steadfast.

They say, your fear start to vanish once you've remained in the source of their vicinity too long. That statement is false. For even after staying with your captor for almost two years, you still held your fear.

"The one at fault bore consequences."

That's when you were hit with the faint stench of blood from him. Another one perished. You took the wild guess of it being the midwife. However, instead of amplifying fright, it was lessened. You wouldn't be on the receiving end of his wrath.

"You aren't at fault, wife."

Oh, but you were.

Sukuna held your gaze, cupping your cheek; the rough pad of his thumb trailed a line on your skin. His tone and grip were surprisingly gentle. "There's no need to apologize."

The corners of your eyes crinkled down, you lean into his touch. You assume, it's a good move as you noted the flicker of emotion in his eyes. "It's the third time, my lord. Perhaps, I bear some shortcomings."

"What nonsense," He rolled his eyes. "There's none, not in my eyes. Don't fill your head with such fickle thoughts." He paused for a moment before continuing, "Is that understood?"

He wasn't one for affirmations but maybe- just maybe it was his attempt at comfort, you supposed. The previous losses must had him learning, the threads of condolence. Still, for you, they'd never mean anything less than empty words. The last thing you wanted was to be comforted by your tormentor. You'd rather step into hell willingly.

But you were living under his wing. You have to play according to his whims. You nodded. "Yes, my lord."

His hand left your face, dropping to his thigh. He looked at you, as if sizing you up. You had to keep yourself from making any unnecessary movements. Sukuna wanted you composed, whatever the situation. (Except the times when he bedded you, you were allowed to scream, cry and thrash around then. Cause you were trapped under his immense strength, struggles were futile).

After a while, he asked, "Any wishes?"

You chewed on your bottom lip, eyes flickering down then back to him. You let out a breath, before continuing. "May I visit the shrine... this evening?"

Silence.

You were contemplating whether you had offended him, somehow. Previously, he did allow for your little trips, you wondered if his patience was running thin cause of your repeated incapability of bearing him an heir. Maybe, you ran out of luck.

You were about to mutter an apology but then a smug grin spread across his lips, "Why so?" He asked.

"To-" You swallowed a lump, preparing to answer the practiced dialogue. "To offer prayers for–"

"Why grieve for someone who didn't even take form?" He cut you up, raising an eyebrow. For a tad moment, he sounded curious. It broke into a cruel chuckle, "You humans would make a funeral out of anything, yes?"

If you held an ounce of sympathy then you wouldn't question.

You wanted to say but you knew better. Besides, you still have to keep up the act of being his loyal wife. Heaving a out a deep breath, you replied, "I suppose." You paused, running the tip of your tongue over your lip.

"I'd pray that I can bear you an heir the next time, my lord."

Nay, more so: I'd pray that you receive your end soon, my lord.

Sukuna watched you. No, not look. He watched, like a predator. Then, his lips cracked into a sinister grin. "You've a way with your words, wife."

It caught you off guard. You raised an eyebrow, attempting to voice out your confusion. "What do-"

"I will accompany you."

.

"Sukuna sama, the herbalist you asked for, has arrived."

Sukuna spared a glance at Uraume, who knelt by his feet.

"Bring him."

As on cue, they rose up from their stance, pivoting around towards the door. It parted, two curses had a man in their grasp as he struggled to break free. His eyes widening with terror when it fell on the King, sitting atop his throne.

The man was pushed down to his knees, face meeting the floor in a loud slam. His scuffles were in vain against such power, he knew that. Still, in a situation of life and death, rationality takes it's leave.

Sukuna clicked his tongue in annoyance. All he wanted was some herbalist to answer the flurry of questions in his which had him restless for the past few days. Did this scum think he'd be killed? Maybe he would be, if he deems it necessary or he proves to be useless.

What had him restless was your miscarriages. Counting the most recent would make it a fourth. Where did he go wrong? You were kept in utmost luxury, no toils whatsoever. Still, what was wrong?

—》《—

"Perhaps, there's some faults in her highness."

"Keep your voice down, Mira. Someone may hear you."

"I am a lot quite... but tell me, don't you find it strange? How come she has lost all of her children?"

"I- I suppose. Perhaps, motherhood is not written in her fate."

"Or so, she's simply incapable."

—》《—

Safe to say, those were the last words they uttered before they were turned into a mash of flesh and blood.

Sliced into pieces that even trying to make a proper corpse out of the remnants weren't possible.

At times, Sukuna wished he held the power to bring back someone to life. Then maybe, he'd have given those servants a death, more worthy. Maybe, ripping out their limbs, piece by piece. First the bones would break, ripped from the ligaments, then it'd be the muscles; that was easy to just tear out. And after that happened, he could have just sewn up the blobs of flesh again and repeat the process until they learn their lesson or the life leaves them again.

He deduced the latter would be more probable. Still, it would be fine. They deserved that.

Speaking ill of you in his palace, in his vicinity, in his world was prohibited. A sin, in the words of humans. And a sin never goes unpunished.

You - his consort, his queen, you were heavenly. There isn't a fault in you, it's some external factor, must be. But he can't let go of his growing suspicion either.

Sukuna detested children, it was a known fact. Always ending their lives first, whenever he set foot in a village. They were of no use to him, unless they were served to him on his platter. He couldn't deny, their flesh was flavourful.

Even though, he held great disdain for them, he couldn't help but desire a kinship with you. With the price of letting go of your undivided attention? Hmm, doesn't sound too great. He assumed, he can hire a wet nurse just in case. Still, he desired to see you round with his child, feet swollen as you struggled to walk around. You do not have to worry, he, your husband would joyfully oblige in carrying you in his arms. You were more than perfect, he couldn't even imagine just how beautiful you'll look, during and after carrying your child.

It was destined. You'd extend his lineage or no one else.

You were flawless then why were you causing such errors? Contradicting. It was his question until he started to take a note in your behaviour, and he found–

Sukuna stood up from his throne, walking down the steps of bones, presumably of the ones he killed. They act as a pretty show piece, according to him.

The court resonated with his footsteps, each one carrying a promise of death. The man's struggles seized once he was harshly pulled up by his hair, his eyes met with Sukuna's.

"Yo-your high–ness," The man fumbled with his words, a spine chilling sensation going down his frame.

"Time's wasting," Sukuna said, his glare pointed. The fury evident, though his exterior was calm. "Comply if you don't wish death."

The man nodded frequently, his fingertips trembled with anticipation and horror. "Ye-yes, your highness. It's an honour to s-serve you." The man fell to his feet as he was dropped. Sukuna dismissed the extra company with a wave of his hand.

"Rise," He declared.

The man still on his knees, raises his head. "What can I- I do for you, your highness?"

—》《—

"May I make a request, my lord?"

Sukuna's eyes flickered to you, yours not meeting his. Knelt before him, you gracefully poured the sake in his ochoko.

"Speak."

He marked the squinting in your irises, fingertips trembled when you put the vessel down. Your shoulders rose and fell before you gazed at him, reluctantly. He couldn't help but find your antics inhumanely amusing. 

"Would you be kind enough... to bring me this-" You paused for a fleeting moment. "This herb called... aloe vera?"

—》《—

"Aloe vera," Sukuna tilted his head aside, the upper pair of arms crossed over his chest. "What use does it have?"

"We-well, my lord it's used for heal-healing purposes, burns, cuts, rashes... it heals injuries, yes." He answered, taking a gulp. There was other uses too yet his head was alike a blank canvas, before such a formidable strength. He wasn't even aware if it was satisfactory or why the King of Curses needed to know about such a measly plant. But if it meant he could see the sun for another day then he'll just give whatever he could offer. "I-It can also be used to– to make me-medicated food. N-not a delicacy... I might add."

Sukuna raised an eyebrow, "That's it?"

"N-no, my lord. There- it can cure diges-"

"In pregnancy."

The man stiffened, his mouth parting a tad bit. A whisper leaving his lips, "Yo-your highness...?"

Pregnancy, menstruation, considered taboo. A matter regarding women, spoken in the inner chambers, the men should remain ignorant. A topic whispered in ears not spoken aloud in any hall, let alone the royal court. Certainly, Sukuna was aware of this societal construct, yet he didn't care. The society and its idiotic rules could go to hell. He just needed answers.

"Speak," Sukuna's voice was louder, deeper when the man before him fidgeted in his spot due to discomfort - on speaking such a topic.

"It-Its a... your highness, I d-don't think you-"

"Insolent bastard," His fumbling was interrupted by Sukuna. The warning evident in his profanity. His face grew darker, the four irises glowing with impending danger akin Satan himself. "If you so much as want to live, fucking speak."

The man's blood ran cold as on cue, face turning a shade paler as if winter had started to pool in. Tears prickled the corners of his eyes, "Forgive me, your highness! I will speak, I will- yes- aloe vera its-" He heaved out a deep breath, an attempt to slow down his beating heart. "Any fo-form of it is ill-suited during pregnancy... it can cause... cause pe-pelvic haemorrhage leading to... to  misc-"

"Miscarriage?"

"Yes, miscarriage... can lead to miscarriage, your highness."

A profound silence prevailed. Not a soul spoke neither was a footstep heard. Not a leaf rustled or the howling winds tapped on the window pane - assumed, mother nature had halted its elements from making any noise.

The stakes were high yet an flicker of courage alighted in the man as he raised his head up to glance at Sukuna, "My lor-"

The man's head tumbled down before he could even complete.

He couldn't scream, he couldn't beg, he couldn't apologize, he couldn't even blink. All he could do was watch. Watch as his beheaded body fell limp before his eyes. Watch as the blood poured out like waterfalls staining the carpet with its hues. The red marred bones protruded out amidst the flesh, globs of blood was gushing out of his severed voice box. His body jerked, the remnants of conscious nerves trying to survive.

It was a neat cut. A heavenly sight.

The world started to blur in. And before he knew it, the light was gone from his eyes.

Sukuna didn't even spare a glance as he marched out of his court.

Uraume approached the body, a few maids accompanying them. They casted a disapproving glare at the corpse.

"Not edible, dispose of it."

.

You didn't see or hear from Sukuna for a week.

He didn't visit your chambers at night neither was he present when you sat down for your meals. Even his energy was alike a hushed whisper which would remind you of his presence in the residence, but not reveal himself to you. For some reason, it had you in an unease.

No, you certainly did not miss his presence. But his absence just made the surroundings almost suffocating. There was the looming threat that something had happened or something were to happen. One worse than the other.

Silence was never uneventful.

Insinuating the courage, you had once inquired Uraume about his absence. Presenting a polite bow, they answered, "Sukuna sama doesn't want to be disturbed."

Disturbed... as if he wasn't the cause of all disturbances. A natural disaster in himself. You resisted the urge to scoff and uttered a meek line of gratitude before going about your day. (That extended with you strolling down the halls or garden or just be in your chambers and read the few books Sukuna had bought you).

On the very same day the dark commenced. While you were mesmerized by the fall of twilight over the garden, you heard his voice.

"Don't you love playing with poison, wife?"

The sudden question made you halt your steps, you weren't even aware that he was present–shielded his aura, presumably. You turned around, raising an eyebrow with bewilderment.

"Pardon, my lord?"

Sukuna snorted, walking up to you, a smirk played on his lips. You had to make the effort of tilting your head to gaze up at him. His towering figure loomed over you, his lower left hand snaking around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"You love poisons, don't you? Or in your words herbs."

Your shoulders grew rigid, eyes widening with realization, a sharp breath hitting your throat. Your fingertips trembled with anticipation. You were sure to be discreet in your affairs, using the isolation he subjected you to at its best. Yet he knew. It was bad. Very much so. And what were to happen now? What would he do to you?

Another night of horror where your screams would be unheard, your resistance proved to be futile, where you'd be left to suffer alone, where another shard of your remaining soul would be plunged by him. Another night where you'd again play into his whims... Or something more vile, leaving you physically disabled? Perhaps, even death...

The foremost was the most heinous one. You silently prayed that he wouldn't resort to that. If you were to be subjected to his torment then you wished he'd just kill you, liberating you for once and for all. Even so, survival is what the mind wants. Piecing through any tactic just to live another day. The play for now should be denial.

Sukuna's affections for you worked as a double edged sword. You aimed to take advantage of it, in every way possible. You instilled a bit of courage, standing your ground, you spoke "I don't understand what you're trying to instigate, my lord."

He looked down on you, a coy smile uplifting his lips. He threaded his fingers through the knot of your kimono, leaning down next to your ear, he inhaled your scent. His lips brushing over your neck.

"I do not believe so, wife." He murmured, his warm breath hitting your skin, a range of goosebumps rising over your arm. "In fact, I think you clearly know, what I speak about."

Before you could let a word out, he straightened up, turning around, he pushed you to walk with him. His large hand still covering your back.

"Come, let me entertain you."

.

You were walking to the gallows.

Not literally, but you were sure your end was near.

The wooden floors creaked with footfalls. Each step heavier than the previous. You hesitantly glimpsed at Sukuna, his gaze was far ahead. Not a word left his mouth in this while. Only his hold remained firm. He pushed you forward every moment your step faltered.

Your breath hitched when you turned a corner - the right wing. A rule, you could say. Sukuna made it clear since the day he held you captive brought you home – never step a foot in the right wing. Despair drowned your curiosity that time, you didn't question, least bothered to. Even later, you didn't dare to defy him; courtesy to the pain you were subjected to once.

Still, you could make the wild guess of what happened in there. The muffled screams kept you awake at midnight, it was easy to put the puzzle pieces together. There he revelled with the sick pleasure of tormenting your kind.

He stopped before a pair of oak doors. That's when he glanced at you, for the first time in a long while. For a moment, he stared at you with an emotion you couldn't decipher. The next moment, he pulled out the Kanzashi from your hair, letting your strands tousle down.

You flinched, pushing away the curls which clouded your vision. Sukuna held the pin in his hand, holding your gaze. He was unmoving.

What happened to him?

"My lord," You called. "What are you-"

"Stay quiet," He handed you the kanzashi back, adjusting your hand to hold it as if it were a dagger. Turning to the door, he spared you a glance. "Don't speak a word." With that, the doors opened.

Dark.

It was dark save for the light of the lantern which illuminated the room. He shoved you forward, the door locking behind as he stood aside you.

"One bite."

Huh? Bite? What did he mean? You slightly turned your head towards him but you were stopped in your tracks. It wasn't only you and Sukuna in this room, seems you had a guest. More appropriate word? A Captive.

Your eyes were wide open. On the corner of the room, sat a young boy, not more than a adolescent - blindfolded. Restrained by chains, his wrists and ankles were cuffed with metal. A small whimper left his lips as he registered the presence of both of you.

You were about to speak but then his words rang in your mind.

Don't speak a word.

Sukuna gripped your wrist, leading you to the boy, "One bite, in the arm."

He wasn't talking to you. To the boy, he kept his eyes. You marked how the boy flinched. The metals clanking on contact.

He turned to you then, motioning to the pin in your hand then the boy's arm. Realization hit you. You tried to shake your head, refuse; but one glare of his and you were compelled. Reluctantly, you turned around, trudging to the boy.

Something was wrong.

You could feel it. Why... why would he want you to stab this poor boy? A picture of misery, he was. You noted he didn't have any sign of bruises in his body - peculiar. Yet, his fragile state was enough to give you a hint that he had been here for days. Perhaps, starved too. The tension was high and all you wanted was to leave this room, in an instant.

Fine, if Sukuna wanted you to just stab the boy. You'd do it. Missing the vital points which could end his life. One, he said. You'll miss the point and done. Its not upon you that you'd pierce the wrong place. His instructions weren't specific—that'd be your excuse.

He won't die. Not from your hands.

You gently held the boy's arm, angling the pointers on the muscles. You drove it in.

Miscalculation.

The boy's body instantly stiffened, a gut wrenching scream erupted from his mouth. He thrashed around, swinging his legs and arms, his body twitching violently.

You recoiled back soon, yanking out the pin, stepping away on instinct. You watched with terror.

Foam rose up the boy's mouth, his shrieks pierced your eardrums. The fluid dripped down his jaw, marring his clothes. He clutched the area where you stabbed him. Scratching at it with all his might. The sound of flesh ripping filled your ears as the boy ruthlessly, tore the muscles.

You were stunted. You couldn't speak or move. You weren't chained but you felt as if a thousand shackles bore you down.

The next seconds were a blur. The screams started to die down, his body losing it's color. Sooner than you could grasp, did the room turn silent again.

The boy was dead.

.

"Enjoyed the show, wife?"

You slapped your hand over your mouth, stumbling a few steps back. You couldn't tear your eyes off the young boy, bile rose up your throat as the room started to spin.

"Wh-what did you-"

No- you couldn't throw up, whatever second thought it was, it refrained you from crumbling to your knees and make a mess. Shivers went down your spine, you struggled to stand straight. The stench of the corpse and the expunging liquids started to fill your nostrils. You were almost on the verge to lose consciousness.

"What... did you do?"

Your eyes flickered to Sukuna. He stood tall, not a sign of emotion on his mien. You regret ever considering mirth to the worst feature on him, cause none was more terrifying.

And he was watching you.

It reminded you of the time, you first saw him -  covered with blood of the lives he had taken, down the river bank. Victim of naivety and ignorance, you didn't know any better than to not let him see you. Wandering towards the peculiar beast, even when a gut wrenching terror asked you to run; you were stubborn. You had asked - are you alright?

"What did you do?" You repeated again.

Tilting his head, he kept his unwavering gaze fixed on you. "As a matter of fact, I didn't do anything, wife." He paused, letting the horror shadow your features, "It was all you."

You needed to run.

The kanzashi– which was till then clasped in your hand firmly– fell down. A clank, you heard.

One step.

One step towards the door. He is standing afore you, the fingers of his upper right arm ran through your open hair, tangling in the roots, he yanked your head back.

"I don't remember, giving you the permission to leave."

Tears prickled your eyes as you tried to break free. Sukuna was having none of it. He dragged you by your hair towards the corpse of the boy. Your nails jabbed into his wrist while whimpers of anguish left your mouth.

Sukuna shoved you down to your knees, tugging your hair back - you were sure, they will be ripped off if he yanked with any more pressure - he made you glance at its face. He crouched beside you. With a flick of his finger, he ripped the blindfold out of the boy.

"Dare to shut your eyes."

Compliance had become second nature.

The body was rigid, skin turning blue. The veins on his arms were bulged out, his mouth wide open, filled with foam, trickling down his cheek, drying on it.

The sight caused you to gag.

Horrifying. His bloodshot eyes were wide open, protruding out of the sockets. Irises dilated in shape, which you considered humanly impossible. But what had your heart hammering in your chest wasn't the vivid details you saw on the corpse. It was the fact, that you recognized the boy. Son of that distant elder cousin, you'd seen once or twice in a year.

"Look at that, love." Sukuna cooed in your ear, forcing you to face the corpse.

You shook your head violently, nails dug into his wrist - desperate to escape. Your heart thumped inside your ribcage, you could hear it in your ears, your guts twisted in numerous ways as sweatbeads trailed down your forehead.

"You did that."

No. No, you didn't. You didn't do it. It wasn't you.

"You killed him."

No, you didn't... he didn't die because of you.

"Take a good look. See what you've done."

You vigorously shook your head. Denying all of his claims cause... cause they were... false, yes, false. They were false.

"No," You stated once you found your voice. "N-no, no... I- no."

Sukuna hummed, twisting a knot in your hair, "Yes, you. You did it."

No. You were innocent. You weren't to be blamed. It wasn't you.

It was... him.

"No, no, I didn't," You refused again, standing your ground. Moving your eyes towards him, you gritted your teeth. "No, I didn't do it. I didn't do anything. It was you."

"Really? How so?"

Fire burnt in your eyes. It was enough. He couldn't make you believe which you didn't commit - you didn't kill him.

"Poison," You said with conviction lacing your tone. "He was poisoned, a stab wouldn't procure such a reaction."

"Observant as ever," He mused, quirking up an eyebrow. A faint smile curled up on his lips. "Still, it doesn't gratify the fact that you were the one to end his life."

Blood boiled inside you, surging through your veins like lava. He had no right to accuse you of something. You didn't kill him, he couldn't make you believe it, whatsoever may happen.

"I may have stabbed him with the kanzashi, but that didn't have any trace of poison in it. I am-"

"Sure of it?"

You could only glare at him. He was toying with you. Tugging the strings of your conscience but you won't have any of it. "I am," You confirmed, staring at him without any falters. "I held it... you held it. If it was really drenched with toxicant as lethal as that, we- we both would be dead."

His grip loosened from your hair, hand falling down. The corners of his eyes crinkled, the smile turning into a smirk.

"It was you," You continued. "You did something to him at first and-"

Sukuna broke into a chortle of laughter. Far from jovial, more so sinister, filled with sheer malevolence. He gripped your jaw, pulling you closer to himself. His sharp canines glinted in the dim light.

"You just keep on fascinating me, wife."

Each second with him was revolting. Just his touch alone had your skin crawling. Yet, you couldn't let him know he has the upper hand.

"We had a pact," You stated firmly. His game was disgusting. What was he trying to do? What was his goal? "If I stay with you, you wouldn't lay a finger on my family, then- h-how could-"

"I would still stand on the ground, that I didn't do anything." He replied, a hint of amusement in his tone. "It was all you, wife. I can assure you that I didn't go back in my words." His canines glinted while he smiled. "Not a flick of pain. Save for..." He paused, his eyes widening, the carmine irises glowed in the dark. "Save for telling him, he'd be killed by a snake bite."

"There was no venom on my pin."

"Know so," He confirmed, a playful smirk on his visage. You wished you could read minds, if possible only of him, that'd been enough. Then where did poison come from? You wanted to question but he beat you to it.

"His fear turned into poison."

You blinked. Once. Twice. You knew he had an urge to play mind games but this was ridiculous. You questioned, shell-shocked, "What?"

"He let his fear get the better of him, assuming your pin to be a snake. He believed it." He explained while you listened without so much as a word. "His conscience caused his body to give out the exact reactions, he imagined. A shock, you might say. That caused his death."

His game was disgusting. If he thought, he could just give you any excuse as this and let you believe his accusations then he was mad wrong. You gritted your teeth, yanking your face away from his grip. For a second, you saw all of his eyes opening wide with surprise. But that didn't extinguish the fire burning in you.

He reached out, dragging you towards him via the arm. A glare resting on his face. "What did I tell about refusi-"

"I don't believe you," You cut him off, hands clenched into fists. It was the first time in a long time, you lost your composure in front of him. No, you wouldn't play as his doll anymore. He broke his promise, its only fair that you do so. "I don't believe a single word you say. You- you did something, you must have. Fear, belief, whatever the fuck, something as trivial as that-"

"So you think fear is trivial, wife?" He sighed, his clutch in your arm remained firm. The rough callouses of his palm, rubbed over your skin. "And here I thought, you might be different than the rest. But you managed to drop below my expectations."

"Maybe that's what I love about you, darling." He continued.

Disgust arose in you yet again. Love. As if he had any of that. He wasn't capable of love. Not in this lifetime. Never. 

He spoke again, "Times you are the smartest I have seen, then you speak such blasphemy which would even embarrass the Gods you worship. Your silence was awarded by him leaning near your ear. He twisted a curl of your hair between his fingers. "Fear, wife..." He whispered to you. "Fear is a mind killer. It makes you believe anything. The small drop of poison which contaminates all the water."

"In the end, belief and fear are sides of the same coin," His top two eyes, flickered to the corpse of the boy. "I made him consume the poison of fear and you-" He turned to you again. "You made him believe it... so, in a way, yes. Yes, I did do something. Save for the part of ending his life. Though I didn't break my part of our pact." A smirk tugged on his lips. "You were the one who killed him. Isn't that great?"

Your breath hitched, throat gone dry. You gazed at him, eyes wide open. Your mind was a blank canvas.

Fear, poison, belief, killing...

He made you kill someone. An innocent boy who didn't even do anything.

Why won't he much rather just end your life?

Sukuna pulled away from you, standing up, he walked over to the lantern placed in the room. The stench of the rotting corpse had long ago started to pool in.

"You made me kill him." You whispered, still knelt, staring at the floor. When greeted with silence, you questioned again, a tone higher, "You made me kill him."

"And?"

His nonchalance had always been infuriating to you.

You could feel him standing a few steps behind you. "If you really wanted to kill my kin, you should've just told me. Getting your herbs was a tiring chore." You didn't miss the emphasis he put on, herbs. The roll of his eyes while speaking floated before your eyes even though you couldn't see him; the expression must had turned to a smirk later. "However, the taste of taking a life– isn't it delicious, wife?"

Guilt gnawed at you, tearing you internally. Your shoulders trembled as you let out ragged breaths, eyes fixed on the bloodied arm of the boy. The same arm where the kanzashi pierced, the muscles torn apart, blood drying on it due to the boy's onslaught. Nausea overrode your senses, bile rose up your throat and the next moment you were throwing up. The wastes ran down your mouth, your nails dug into the wooded boards – bruising your fingertips and chipping the nails. You didn't realize Sukuna stepping up to your side, pulling your hair back while you were caught into the ordeal.

A disapproving grunt left his mouth after you were finished, yanking you up with your wrist. He pulled you towards the door. "Com-"

"No." Your heels remained firm on the ground. You refused him before you could even think. He turned towards you slightly, a scowl resting on his features before he pivoted around. He cast a glare upon you but before he could speak, your mouth opened again.

"You're even lower than scum." Your jaw ticked, hands clenching into fists. "You made me kill an innocent boy. Someone who might have done nothing to you, You– You disgust me, Sukuna."

Done you were with the respect, he demanded. If that angered him, made him want to rip out your heart and watch the life drain from your eyes. He was most welcome.

But it looks like, he wasn't resorting to any of that.

"You made me a murderer." You urged, staying strong in your stance. "You turned me into you."

His eyebrow twitched, a wave of mirth washed over him. "You were always like me, wife."

"I am nothing-"

"You are. You are like me. You are no saint, as you think so of yourself. " He said, leaving no room for argument. His lips pressed tight into a thin line. 

Yet, you refused to believe that. You were nothing like him. Couldn't even dream so. You were not him.

"You kill children in your womb, I kill them after they're born. How is it so different?"

"It is different." You yelled, your jaw clenched, teeth baring out. "This world needs no more of your lineage, it needs no more of you." You jabbed your pointer finger on his chest, tears pooling into your eyes. You refused to shed them. "You kill for your own sake, I do not."

"Then who do you kill for?"

"For everyone." The faint snort of his reached your ears. You couldn't decipher what he found so delightful in this.

"Playing God, are we?" He mocked causing your vexation to rise.

"Maybe I am. For the least, I am not killing innocent people like you."

From where such defiance arose, you weren't sure of. Perhaps, all the frustration, fright, terror which accumulated till now had reached its limit. Moreover, Sukuna's provocation must be the fuel to the fire.

You might be left bleeding– No, you would be left bleeding. You welcomed it with open arms.

.

"Careful," Sukuna pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear. "All Gods aren't worshipped."

He was enjoying himself. In all honesty, your obedience was getting too monotonous. This was better. Your defiance was amusing. Arousing, if there's to add. If he knew, letting you end a few lives would have this effect then he would have resorted to this long ago.

"Better than you." You shoved his hand away, "You are nothing more than a wretched, two-faced curse destroying all of our lives."

He noted your scowl, the way your lips were shut tight, your eyebrows crinkled together. Reasons evident, all he desired was to pull you into his arms smash his lips against yours. Taste the very essence of your being. Consume you wholly, just the way you are. So that in the end, your name, your taste, your scent would be engraved in his very soul. Without your mention, he wouldn't be complete. 

But he refrained from giving in now. His desire extended to a far more sinister route. "I wonder..."

What would it be like to break your conviction? What would it be like to break you?

Oh, he knew.

Would it be right moment to let you know? Maybe he should wait for another, more appropriate time.

Hmm, perhaps he should. But no.

He let you play these games for too long. Tired of this game plan, he was. Maybe, you would just come to your senses if he let you know. So he let the words, flow out:

"I wonder, why this curse keeps protecting your pathetic life from people who would cross rivers to lay siege to your life?"

Worth everything.

Sukuna watched as your face lost its color. The previous boldness you presented him with was replaced by a mask of confusion and. Such a pretty sight, it was. To see you, falter from your stand. Second guess, yourself, be in denial then rage consumes you. And you look at him, like he was the forbearer of your misery. (He is).

Oh, how good he has you memorized.

Even the littlest of reactions you contort on your mien, on your mannerisms; everything has him intrigued. You have him intoxicated.

"You know the ones, the people... your people, for whom you play this God."

Sukuna wished he could capture this moment. He'd have the chance to take a glimpse of it again, whenever he wished to. The horrified look on your face as the weight of his words started to sink in.

Would you still look like this if he tells you the terror he bestowed on them who tried to steal you away from him? What would you say if he vividly describes each imagery of how he slowly, agonizingly burnt them, severed them and tormented them? Leaving them nothing but fragments beyond recognition.

You were his. All of you belonged to him. Without his sanction, no one could even see you, let alone touch you. Ah- just how many sorcerers perished from his hands, the number of villages, bathed in blood; save for yours. (Courtesy to that stupid pact, he forged with you)

Something had told him, that there'd be a better time to put an end to the pitiful lives of your kin.

"Can't speak? What caused so, darling?" His tone was laced with smugness, a twisted joy elicited in him. "Fearful that your play amounted to nothing?"

Your jaw ticked with anger. You were furious. "I don't believe you. You are lying."

Your trust on humans was commendable, he'd give you that. However, there's stark contrast between faith and blind belief. You were inclining towards the latter.

So, what do they do when words fail to convey message? Oh right, you give them a prime example.

"Let me just show it to you then, wife."

It was a gamble, he was willing to make. To keep you with him, forever, as he wanted - he needed you to know that no place other than his arms would be as comforting. Even if that meant breaking your very soul, so be it.

.

You were home.

One moment, Sukuna held your gaze. The next, you are standing before your hearth.

Toes dipping into the familiar black soil, the land where you ran and played during your childhood. Your familial home stood steps away from you. Still looked the same except the visible cracks on the wall, a layer of dust on top of the door and the woods looked worn out. However, what caught your eyes weren't the flaws of your home but the familiar older woman walking into your home.

"Mother…"

She stilled all of a sudden, rotating on her heels, her eyes landed on you. Shell shocked, that's what she was with the widened eyes and parted lips. A small smile curved up on your lips, she still looked the same except the few grey hairs and wrinkles aside her eyes.

"Mother," You called again, taking a step towards her. "I am back."

Sooner than you expected, her eyebrows scrunched up, mouth curving down when she finally registered your presence. You weren't some illusion or her mind playing tricks. "What are you here for?"

The disdainful tone caused you to flinch. You didn't expect this. Returning home, you dreamt of it to be filled with tears of joy and warm embraces. Not this… whatever, she was presenting you with. But- But its fine, you have returned after a two whole years. She must have been worried. The reason of her apprehension. God, you had a lot making up to do.

"Well, you know," You chuckled lightly, scratching the back of your neck. "Back… just back. I have returned."

"Found your way after two years?" She crossed her arms over her chest, staring at you with a look you didn't want to recognize.

You nodded, "Yes. How could I forget my way? Our address, its-"

You were interrupted when your name was spit out from her mouth. Her glare on you was palpable, "I know what it is. What are you here for?"

Her fury even made your skin crawl with fear. You were often on the receiving end of her glare when you were a child, given by your tendencies to run around and cause trouble for others. Yet, those glares, were none like this. This- this- you didn't want to name what it was.

"You are angry," You don't know if its directed towards your mother or yourself as you hold onto the last bit of fragments that not all is lost. "I get it, I really do." You stood on your toes, attempting to look behind her, into your house. "Where's father? Tell him, I am-"

"No more."

As if the air was knocked out of your lungs.

"What?" Your neck craned towards her so fast, it might have left a sprain. Yet, that was the least of your concern. "What do you mean by no more?"

"No more means no more." Your mother's sigh fell heavy on the air, words carried the weight of the world. Laid with pain underneath.

"How- when? Wha-what happened?" You couldn't wrap your mind around the new discovery. No one told you such. Who could've guessed? Such an ordeal to occur in your absence. And what might she be going through, without you. You didn't even get the chance to talk to him, one last time.

"A year ago," She confessed, her voice conveyed her lament and sorrow. Her words felt like a hammered blow on the fragile façade of hope, you had intricately crafted for yourself. However, she wasn't done. Her eyes held scorn, lips curled up to a sneer. "Aren't you satisfied? You finally made your mark. Must tell you," Her voice, once filled with love held nothing save for contempt, directed at you. "Good game, you played, dear." She spit the endearment as if, it were poison.

"No, I- I never wanted any of this. What are you even talking about?" A trembling footfall towards her, you whispered, "M-mother-"

"Don't you dare call me that."

The weight of her judgement felt heavy on you, pressing down, suffocating you alike chains.

"You are no daughter of mine."

You weren't aware since when the tears had sprang up your eyes, breaking the barricades, they shed down. Your throat burnt as you struggled to even breathe, clutching your chest - a searing pain shooting in your heart. Your heart was shattering from the ultimate rejection from your own flesh and blood.

"While you're at it, know this." Your mother continued.

The next words were like a blow to the gut, each syllable lined with the weight of revelations. Ones that hung in the air like a funeral shroud.

"In his last moments, his only regret was bringing a daughter like you in this world."

.

This night just doesn't seem to end, does it?

You were left as a hollow shell. Tethering the steps away from the home you were no more welcomed. Exhaustion reigned heavy on you. Physically and mentally.

Where were you going? You didn't know. Just where your feet would take you, there would you go. Perhaps, you can return to Sukuna. Would he take you back? Most probably not. Considering, your earlier outburst, adding to the fact that you refused to give him what you want; he might just discard you as you proved to be useless.

Funny. It was so damn funny. Once, you wished to escape from his hands whatsoever the price yet now… now you considered returning to him.

You could hear him calling you pathetic. Disgusting. More disgusting, that you agreed with him.

You were truly pathetic.

But before you could spiral down the void of self-hatred, a voice- nah, multiple voices startled you.

"There she is, parading around some meek, innocent girl." A scoff is added. "You are far from it."

"The nerve of you to just walk back into our lives after you betrayed us."

Your neck cranes to your left, an old man - the village elder with a few other men and women following behind; they approached you. "Excuse me?"

"Who do you think you are?" A woman's cry reached your ears. "Returning after you turned your back on us."

You flinched at the accusation thrown. What could be possibly be instigating? To all your knowledge, you were walking in this- in your village after two long years. Anger, disdain and accusatory glares clouded their features. If your mother's insults weren't enough to pierce through your heart then it certainly did now, with all the people, you once called your own to look at you like you were the monster.

You summoned the least bit of courage you had, squared your shoulders and started, "I'd have you know-"

"Traitors don't get to speak." At the center of the crowd was the village elder. He was the pillars of your hamlet, revered for his wisdom and guidance, but now he looked akin a judge ready to deliver his sentence upon you. A sentence which would push you more into this conundrum. "You've been cavorting to that monster. Disgusting."

"I am no traitor." You retorted soon. "You can't accuse me of such when you don't ev-"

"Save it for someone who would care, whore."

The curse had your mouth parted in disbelief, horror etched upon your mien. Sooner than you could compose yourself, did whispers of agreement rippled through the crowd which branded you as a traitor.

"You are just as twisted as him."

"Get out of here if you so much as hold your life dear."

"Don't play as the innocent bitch, now."

The accusation hung in the air like a dark cloud, poisoning the atmosphere with its venomous hatred. Your breath was caught in your throat as you searched desperately for words to defend yourself; the crowd's hostility rendered you speechless. But amidst the cacophony of condemnation, one voice stood out above the rest.

I wonder, why this curse keeps protecting your pathetic life from people who would cross rivers to lay down yours?

Really? Were you really recalling his words now? Now of all times… You truly were pathetic.

For one moment, You just stayed silent - letting their accusations bore you down. Somewhere you wished all of it were just a nightmare. You'll soon wake up on your bed beside Sukun- fuck! Since when did you start to expect to wake up with him? He- He was toying with your mind. This was the only result. But the fact that this was your thought process had you recoil back.

The next moment, everything made sense.

These accusations were stemmed from the fact that you- you were proclaimed to be the wife of the King of curses. Your unwillingness to return, given for the pact you forged with Sukuna, was taken as your cue that you betrayed your family, your home, your people.

Your family despised you. Your people despised you. The very same people you chose to protect were turning their back on you.

Did they truly try to lay down your life?

Amidst your plight, you didn't register when the village elder marched up to you. "Didn't you hea-" His trial at speech was cut off. Nay, his lifeline was cut off. (Humorous, isn't it?)

Numerous red lines appeared on his body before it burst off into a globs of flesh and blood. Blood which splashed onto you, marring your visage and attire with its hues.

He was here. You knew it. You could feel it.

For some reason, it filled you with a sense of relief.

However, your people were on the other end of the rope. The eyes which afore held hatred and disgust, they were now filled with horror and fright. In this reverie as the villagers started to flee, a torch tumbled on the ground - lighting the grass on fire. The winds showed no mercy, as the howls increased, so did the flames.

Provoking him was never the right move.

You were digging your own grave.

So you shouldn't have been surprised that your wish would be granted. Yet, if you could have one wish then you'd wish for freedom but no- freedom was a forfeited dream, far beyond your reach. Consideration of that one would never be fruitful. You are trapped even in your dreams.

Playing with fire only gets you burnt.

For long, you played this game and this- this was your compensation. For everything you had done until now, all you are returned with was abandonment. Not that supposedly, betrayal, yes. More appropriate.

Flames surrounded you, crawling up your skin, the screams piercing your ears, your chest heaved up and down. Gaze, once settled on your hearth, now all you saw were the burning huts, the crackling of embers reached your ears. Attire and hands stained with blood of the insolent.

No one touches what's mine.

The warning shouldn't have been taken lightly. Should have known, the extent of his power.

Eyes held terror, fright, regret- whatever you could name. The multitude of names you received seemed no more than a distant dream, nowhere to be found. All were running away - expectable.

You expected calamity, but you were calm.

The sparks danced over your irises as everything went down in the crimson hues. Save for you, you weren't burning. Not an spark touched your skin. Was it the distance or the control? Who knows. But one confirmation which you held was that - tonight you won't die. Not so soon either.

Careful, not all Gods are worshipped.

The words rang in your ears and as if on cue, you found him again. In this trance of insanity, only one thing held your sight when you attempted to turn - The eyes tinted with crimson.

All of a sudden, something burnt inside you too.

Unbridled rage consumed you. Your chest heaved up and down as ragged breath left your mouth. Their words came back to you, ringing in your ears as if you were pushed into a void.

Who do you think you are? Returning after you turned your back on us.

Would this bitch even be alive if you prioritized yourself?

Don't play as the innocent bitch, now.

Is that the thanks you get for trying to protect them?

Traitors don't get to talk.

Traitor… fine, you'd be the traitor.

With caution you took one step towards him. No reaction. Your chance - you took another. Then another and another. You stood before him, with nothing save for a void etching your features. Amusement flickered over him, the corner of his lip curled up.

"Saw it for yourself wife?"

Seemed like silence was your go-to response lately. From your peripheral, you saw the burning houses, the distant screams reached you. For some reason, the screams were almost soothing. You revelled in this. Their gut wrenching shrieks were like a balm to your essence.

Their predicament was your solace.

Sounded like someone you knew. Someone who had warned you about them but you chose to remain ignorant. Sickening… were you becoming like him?

You were always like me, wife.

You could laugh. Maybe you were like him.

"Let's forge another pact?" You offered, keeping your eyes pinned on him.

"A pact?"

"A pact."

A smirk curved up his lips, the upper pair of arms crossed over his chest, "Humour me, love."

The smirk wasn't directly for you. But he did. So you returned it back. One with an equal malicious intent. Cause in that moment, no second thoughts, no doubts clouded your mind. And so, you uttered the blasphemy:

"You kill them all, each and everyone. In return, I will stay with you, give you an heir. Whatever you want from me."

.

A year later

Screams died down after a gruelling ten hours.

"Good news, Sukuna sama. It's a boy."

A/N: Honestly, I was almost done with this fic, long ago but while writing the climax, I kept chickening out with all the self-doubts but then I just wrote what I wanted. I do understand if the ending is not up to your liking and I sincerely apologize for it.

THROWN TO THE WOLVES (I)

Duke Leto was standing by the window with his hands clasped behind his back as he watched his son training in the courtyard and his daughter reading a book on one of the stone steps. Last week he had received the news about the Emperor’s decision to move his family to an unfriendly world of Arrakis. He was aware of the consequences of such a decision. He knew that the Emperor always had his bigger purpose.

“What is troubling you?” Lady Jessica stood behind him and put her hand on his shoulder.

“The war with the Harkonnens is coming,” Duke Leto sighed. “And I don’t know what to do to protect my family from it.”

Lady Jessica furrowed her brows. She had been waiting for this moment for a long time now but the moment never seemed to be right.

“What if you make an alliance?” She proposed with her lips inches away from his ear as her hands hugged his chest from behind.

“An alliance? With the Harkonnens?” The Duke couldn’t grasp the concept. “How?”

“You have something very precious here that for some reason you are hiding from the world. But we all have to serve our families. Women serve their families in their own ways, Leto,” Lady Jessica smiled softly and pointed her finger at Princess (Y/N).

Innocent and unaware Princess (Y/N), reading a book and watching her half-brother train. She was wearing a pretty dark green dress with long sleeves that were supposed to protect her from the harsh winds of Caladan. Her hair was done up in a beautiful way by one of her maids and her eyes were as sad as usual.

“She will be sent to her mother’s family soon,” Duke Leto reminded Lady Jessica. “That was my agreement with them.”

“Yes, and what will she do there? She can’t hide away from the big world. She is her mother’s daughter but she’s also an Atreides. You raised her. She owes you loyalty,” Lady Jessica explained. “If you ask her to keep your family safe, she shall do it.”

“I would never send my daughter to those monsters,” The Duke shook his head and turned around to face Lady Jessica. “I am her father. I might have not loved her mother like I love you. But I love her as much as I love our son.”

“If our son was a girl, he’d be the one sent to the Harkonnens,” Lady Jessica reminded him. “Of course her bloodline is not as perfect as Paul’s but she will do. I’ve spoken to the sisters about it and…”

“You’ve spoken to the sisters about it?!” The Duke’s eyes widened at that revelation. “You have already discussed my daughter with the Bene Gesserit?”

“I raised her, too!” Lady Jessica raised her voice. “She is not mine and I would never call her my daughter but I care about her, too. I watched her grow, I teached her, I soothed her after her nightmares. I was there for her. But she can’t hide from her destiny on her grandparent’s planet. She is Princess Atreides.”

The Duke remained silent. He took a deep breath in and looked out of the window once more. His son was already hiding the blades after the training and approaching his sister.

You closed the book and squinted your eyes at the sight of Paul approaching you with a smile. He was a little younger than you but he was the future Duke. In a fair world, you would be the Duchess of Caladan. You were older and you were a daughter of your father and his wife. Paul was basically a bastard.

And he was weak. You didn’t want to say it out loud but you had been watching him train for quite a long time now and you didn’t see a future Duke in him. You kept thinking that you’d make a better one. After all, you were supposed to be born a boy and a future Duke. But your mother was no Bene Gesserit witch and she could not manipulate her child’s gender. She died giving birth to you and she didn’t secure your father with an heir. Lady Jessica did. 

So you had to watch Paul struggling with his trainings as you pretended to read books. You had asked your father to let you train as well but he didn’t agree. You were a Princess. If you were to gain an ugly scar on your face, your value would decrease.

“How was it?” Paul pinched you teasingly as you closed the book loudly to show him your annoyance at that gesture.

“The book?” You asked.

“No, my training.”

“I haven’t been paying attention to it,” you lied and shrugged your arms. “It’s starting to rain, let’s go back inside,” you stood up and he followed you to the gates. “I was thinking of giving away most of my dresses to the poor. I won’t need them on Arrakis, the ones with long sleeves and fur,” you told him.

“But you won’t be on Arrakis with us for long,” Paul reminded you.

“My mother’s planet is warm, too. It’s sunny and it almost never rains,” you explained. “I will not need these dresses there either.”

“It is sad that you will have to leave us,” Paul looked down.

You tried to hate him but sometimes you couldn’t. And as much as you hated everything about this family and how you were treated in it… He still remained your younger brother. And it wasn’t his fault that his mother was a witch and that your father loved him more than you.

“I will visit you and you will visit me,” you told him with a shy smile. “I am looking forward to moving to my grandparents and to choose any noble man on their planet I want to marry,” you chuckled.

Of course you’d rather stay and become a Duchess of Caladan. But that was out of option.

“I’ll see you later, I have to look through my dresses. I don’t trust my maid’s choices with them,” you told your brother and you went to your chambers.

You placed the book down on the desk and you caressed your mother’s picture. You had never known her since she died giving birth to you. But you always craved to meet her and you always daydreamed about her still being alive. Lady Jessica was no substitute to you. And she had never tried to be.

There were political marriage unions that were supposed to make alliances but there was also a different type of an union, a more mysterious and weird kind of it – the one that was calculated and planned by the Bene Gesserit. Your mother was supposed to give Duke Leto his heir and Lady Jessica was supposed to give him a daughter that would later be sent away to another great house and continue that malicious and intentional bloodline. To you, it was all witchcraft. You didn’t trust any of that because you didn’t trust Lady Jessica.

You knew that when your mother had been dying and you were being born, your father was not there. He was with her as she was already pregnant with Paul.

You knew about a lot of things from the maids that had come to Caladan with your mother. You knew your father had not been a bad man to her but he couldn’t force himself to love her. And you knew how much she had wanted to go back home. She had missed the sun and the warmth. And now she would remain forever on this grey and rainy planet. As a former Duchess of it, she had to be buried on Caladan.

You were occupied with the dresses in your closet when you felt someone’s presence in the chamber with you. You turned around and sighed at the sight of Lady Jessica.

“I’m thinking about giving away some of them to the poor,” you pointed at one of the dresses laying on your bed. “They will be no use on Arrakis,” you explained.

Lady Jessica remained silent as she leaned on the wall and kept watching you. You didn’t like that.

“What is it?” You asked.

“There’s a change of plans,” she finally cleared her throat as she straightened herself. You furrowed your brows.

“We are not moving?” You asked with hope. You were not a fan of Caladan but Arrakis sounded a hundred times worse.

“No. We are but you will not come with us,” Lady Jessica informed you.

At this point, you were confused.

“Am I moving to my grandparents earlier? Or… Or will I stay here to represent House Atreides?” Your eyes sparkled at the idea.

You already imagined yourself ruling the planet in your father’s name. Wearing regal dresses and being important. Perhaps proving to him that you’d be good at this job and he would let you do it for the rest of your life.

“You will help us to prevent the upcoming war with the Harkonnens,” Lady Jessica smiled softly. “You will be sent to Giedi Prime to marry the Baron’s heir.”

The sparkles in your eyes disappeared in an instant as your hands dropped down the gown you had been holding.

“No…” you whispered. “This cannot be true… My father would never agree to that.”

“He just did.”

“It’s… It’s your mending, you witch,” your fists clenched. “I must speak to my father myself,” you walked past her furiously.

You didn’t know what to think. But as long as you didn’t hear that from your father, it felt like it was a cruel joke on Lady Jessica’s side.

“Father,” you pushed the door leading to his office without knocking. He was sitting behind his desk as if he had already been expecting you. There was a deep wrinkle on his forehead and his eyes looked sad and worried when he laid them on you. “Tell me it is not true,” you demanded.

“You will be sent to the Harkonnens,” the Duke nodded his head.

“You can’t do this to me!” You yelled and banged your fists on his desk. The loud sound echoed through the chamber. “I had my whole life already planned… You cannot just…”

“I can,” he interrupted you and stood up, “and I will. We were not supposed to move to Arrakis. We were not supposed to be involved in this spice conflict. Things changed for all of us. You will go to Giedi Prime and secure the alliance.”

“How can you even speak to me about the alliance with them?” You asked. “How? Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been taught about the Harkonnens. I’ve been taught everything about them for the simple fact that they are our enemies. How can you send your daughter to them just like that?”

“You’ve said it yourself. You’ve been studying them since you were a little girl. You know their culture and their customs. It will be easy for you,” he tried to convince you.

Convince you to… what exactly? Convince you to agree to this without being forced to? Convince you that it would be indeed easy? Like it had been easy for your mother…? And all the women of all history forced to get married before her?

It was never easy. It was only easy for men to say it.

“I wish it was women ruling over the world,” you gritted through your teeth. “And I wish it was men being sent away from their homes and families to unknown worlds to start their life over, to become someone else’s property, to obey. I really do wish that, father.”

“That remains nothing but a wish,” he commented on that with a sad smile. “It brings me no pleasure to send you there. But you have your duties, too.”

“I have studied their customs and their culture. They are monsters. You are throwing me to the wolves. I will not survive this,” your voice finally broke as the realisation hit you that it was indeed happening.

You would be sent to Giedi Prime.

“Father!” Paul’s voice interrupted you both as he ran inside the chamber. His cheeks were flushed as he was taking deep breaths in after running. “You can’t do that! You can’t send her there!”

Oh, how cute your little brother was sometimes.

“The decision has been made, my son,” the Duke told him.

“Don’t be angry at him,” you turned around to face Paul. “You can thank your mother for that,” you added viciously before leaving the chamber angrily and going back to your own.

Everything was packed and the castle seemed to be as empty as never before. The ships were ready to take off and the Caladan weather was saying goodbye in its own manner – with a never ending rain.

The thing was, your family was going to Arrakis. You were going to Giedi Prime. Alone. 

Well, you had two of your maids with you like your mother had been gifted two from her homeplanet on her way to Caladan. And you had your mother’s wedding dress, too. Beautiful, handmade snow-white lace, layered and folded in all the right places. It was elegant and innocent looking. Your mother’s maids had been telling you stories that for a moment they thought your father would love her. Because he had been so mesmerised by her in that dress.

It hadn’t happened, though.

“I thought you’d go with me. You or Paul at least. Some man from the family to give me away to them. To stay for the ceremony and make sure I am safe,” you told your father as you were walking beside him. It was your last walk together on Caladan.

“I can’t go now, I am needed on Arrakis. Your safety is ensured. They would not dare to hurt you. You’re Princess Atreides, don’t let them make you forget about that,” your father put his hands on your shoulders.

“Sometimes I wish I wasn’t,” you admitted and looked down, defeated. Your father’s hands dropped down to hold yours. He furrowed his brows at how cold and shaky they were.

“Have some courage, my child.”

“Why does it feel like you’re getting rid of the burden?” You asked while biting on your lower lip.

“You have never been a burden to me,” he pulled you closer for a hug. You felt warm tears rolling down your cheeks.

You really wanted to believe his words but you couldn’t. You still felt like an unwanted daughter and a painful reminder of a woman he had been forced to marry once.

“You are my daughter, remember that,” Duke Leto took a step back to wipe the tears off of your cheeks. “You will forever be.”

You didn’t say anything to that. How would you even tell him that you wished you weren’t?

You went back to the hangar silently. Everyone was waiting for you so the ships would take off. Paul ran up to you and gave you a hug.

“I wish you could go with us on Arrakis,” he said with tears in his eyes.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’d also rather go to Arrakis than Giedi Prime,” you confessed. “That planet sounds dreadful.”

“They’re lucky to have you. You’ll make it bloom,” Paul tried to cheer you up.

“Or they will poison me and I will wither,” you smiled sadly and kissed his forehead goodbye.

You only nodded your head at Lady Jessica and she nodded her head back with a smile. 

You had been trying to overthink her plans. She either wanted you on Giedi Prime badly or she didn’t want you on Arrakis for some reason. But there was no point of losing sleep over that. You had other things to worry about now. Because finding out her motives wouldn’t change your situation anyway.

You had been informed in a message from the Harkonnens to your father that your husband would be Baron’s nephew named Feyd-Rautha who was your brother’s age and a future baron. His current title was na-baron and he was known for winning many fights as a gladiator. Really, the whole message from the Harkonnens sounded more like an eulogy praising him and his achievements. But it didn’t include his portrait or anything said about his character.

Your achievements were nonexistent but you were a Princess and no one expected any from you. Still, it felt humiliating when your father had been writing in his message that his daughter was innocent, pure, well-behaved, educated on the matter of the customs of her new house. Tidy, pretty, ready to give heirs. It made you feel nauseous.

You knew that the atmosphere on Giedi Prime was unusual after centuries of pollution. You knew everything about this planet and people. Still, looking outside the ship’s window, at first you thought something was wrong with your eyesight.

“Everything is black and white… I don’t see colour,” you rubbed your eyelids.

“It is normal, Princess. The colours cannot be seen outside,” one of the maids reminded you in a calm tone of voice.

You wondered how they could be so calm, your maids. After all, they were moving away from homes, too. And they would never leave to Arrakis with the ship like its captain and the crew. No, they’d stay on this planet with you forever.

“Time to get dressed, Princess,” the second maid entered your cabin. “The captain says we are landing soon.”

“We will be greeted by the servants. They will lead us inside where you will be officially introduced to the Baron and his family,” your first maid reminded you of the schedule. “What dress would you like to wear now, Princess?”

The wedding would take place tomorrow. Now you had to choose a dress to make your first impression.

“I’ll go with something bright,” you decided. “Modest, humble. I want to present myself to them exactly as they imagine me.”

“How would that be then, Princess?” The maid asked, slightly confused.

“Like a prey,” you explained.

They looked at each other but they said nothing. You stood up and opened your arms to let them undress you from your nightgown and then dress you. They put a creamy white silk dress on your body. It could have been your wedding dress if you hadn't already chosen your mother’s.

The jewellery was modest, too. The biggest and the most outstanding piece was a necklace with your house’s emblem. You asked for delicate makeup, too but your maids still made sure the blush on your cheeks would stand out.

When the ship landed, you left it with your maids and a few crew members. The Harkonnen servants looked both scary and scared – and that was an odd mix, especially in that black-and-white light. Their eyes were huge and dark, their skin pale and their heads bald. Both, men and women. They were also dressed in long white robes and they seemed to be terrified of doing something wrong. The men showed your crew members where to take all of your bags and chests. The women bowed down to you and led you inside the huge black fortress.

You swallowed thickly at the size and architectural style of it. It was black and industrial; reminded you of a jail for very dangerous criminals. You couldn’t imagine spending the rest of your life in a fortress like that. Certainly not after growing up on Caladan, in a castle on a cliff. You’d spend your whole days walking around and admiring nature. But on Giedi Prime there was no nature.

The air made you cough and you were exposed to it for five minutes maximum. Still, your lungs felt as if they were filled with a black, slimy liquid. You tried to cough it out before entering the Baron’s huge throne room.

One of the maids tapped your back lightly and you thanked her with a nod of your head. There were tears in the corners of your eyes now from that air and from trying to stop yourself from coughing when the heavy black doors opened in front of you.

“Princess (Y/N) Atreides,” you were announced.

You tried not to show any emotion on your face as you walked towards the throne. Your maids stayed behind and you had to face Baron Vladimir Harkonnen on your own.

As scary as he looked – especially with all the machinery around him – you tried to remember what your father had once told you. He was just a pathetic man who would be easily killed if someone had enough courage to stand very close to him and cut all these bubbles and tubes off. It was his morbid obesity – not his cruelty or special abilities – that made him look even less human than other people on this planet. He was a cruel man, of course he was. But he was also sick and that was the reason for his unusual looks that were so scary to most. You tried to remember about that but it was difficult because he was clearly the most powerful person in this room as he watched you with a smirk.

The power of that gaze was so strong that you stumbled a little on your way. And then someone else’s chuckle made you finally remember that Baron Vladimir Harkonnen wasn’t there alone.

You laid your embarrassed eyes on the young man standing next to the baron. His eyes were watching you closely and they were squinted as if he was a snake. The other man, standing on the other side of the Baron, was much older. So you assumed that the laughing one was your husband-to-be.

Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. He looked better than the other men you had seen so far on Giedi Prime. But it didn’t mean he was handsome or that he looked kind. On the contrary, he looked terrifying. And the way he laughed at your clumsiness was nothing but cruel. You felt blood in your veins turn cold.

You would die on this planet. Sooner than later. You would die, you thought. You wouldn’t survive it. You weren’t able to. At this very moment you felt like laying down on the floor and crying already. How were you supposed to keep being brave? It was impossible.

You were not raised for this. You were not prepared.

You suddenly felt angry at your father. At Lady Jessica. At Paul, even, for not stopping them. It no longer felt like you had been sent here to be ridden of. It felt like you had been sent here to die.

“Princess Atreides,” Baron’s voice caught you by surprise. You didn’t expect it to be so rough. But on the other hand, what else would you expect from a man like him?

He was visibly mocking you as you stood in front of him and bowed down a little. None of the men bowed down to you, though. You were a Princess, they were supposed to do that. But they did not care and you had no courage to remind them of the courtesy.

“Baron Harkonnen,” you greeted him.

“Welcome to my world,” he opened his arms. “I do hope you find it pleasant.”

You swallowed thickly. Another mockery.

“I do find it interesting,” you answered diplomatically.

“Let me introduce my nephews to you,” he pointed at the older man. “Count Glossu Rabban.”

“My Lord,” you bowed down a little again but he did not move. In fact, he looked quite bored to be there.

“Princess,” he only said and nodded his head very slightly. He was not a pleasant man and he was big and intimidating.

“And my favourite,” Baron pointed at the younger one, the one you had been trying to avoid looking at for a while now. You feared to lay your eyes on him because seeing him would make him real. As long as you weren’t looking, you thought, he wasn't existing. But the world didn’t work this way.

You were also surprised that the Baron didn’t hesitate to so openly admit which one was his favourite. As Paul’s sister, for a short while, you almost felt sorry for Count Rabban. You had this one thing in common with him – being second favourite.

It was weird to realise how similar some things might be between people so different.

“Na-baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen,” Baron introduced the younger man. “Your husband-to-be.”

“My Lord,” you bowed down at him.

“Princess,” he greeted you with a hiss. Tone of his voice was identical to his uncle’s and it made shivers run down your spine.

This was the voice of the man you’d spend the rest of your life with…? You found it difficult to imagine how you’d ever get used to it.

He didn’t bow down nor nod his head even a little. He had a menacing smirk on his lips as he watched you so intensely that you had to look away for a while. From the corner of your eye, you noticed him licking his lips in a vulgar manner.

“You will be taken to your chambers now to rest after your journey. The wedding will take place tomorrow,” was all the Baron announced and both of his nephews left the room just like that.

Not that you actually wanted to spend time with Feyd-Rautha but you were surprised that they didn’t care at all for you to get to know him a bit better before the wedding.

“One more thing,” Baron said when you were about to leave the room as well. You turned around to look at him. “A medic will visit you. You will obey his orders. Don’t get shy when he tells you to take your clothes off. He will not hurt you.”

“Y-yes, my Lord,” you nodded your head. You were in no position to tell him you disagreed. You might have been a Princess but you quickly realised it meant nothing to them and your father wasn't here to remind them.

You were surprised to see the room you had been taken to. It was not princess-worthy. In fact, it was not even guest-worthy. It looked more like a prison cell. You had the privacy of your own bathroom but there was nothing more except for the bed and your bags and chests scattered all over the floor. The room had no balcony and no windows either.

“Is it my room?” You asked the servant girl. She looked terrified when you spoke to her.

“Yes, Princess.”

“Is this a joke?” You asked her and she took a step back, probably used to the Harkonnens being violent towards her.

“It’s temporary… For now…” She stuttered out.

“Alright,” you nodded, feeling sorry for her. “I do not blame you. What is your name?” You tried to ask but her eyes widened even further and she ran away out of your room.

When she left it, the doors closed heavily and you could hear that the guards locked them.

“Marvellous,” you whispered to yourself with a sigh.

You took a shower and went to bed. You were exhausted after the journey but you were also too anxious to actually fall asleep. Under your pillow, though, you found a small black box. You opened it and it contained two white pills and a note.

It will help you sleep – Baron H.

You didn’t trust any pill given to you by the Baron Harkonnen but you were desperate to fall asleep and forget about your troubles for a while. And if it had killed you, well… You would be grateful, to be honest.

You put one of the pills on your tongue and it dissolved quickly, leaving a bittersweet taste. Two minutes later you were already asleep.

In the morning you were awakened by your maids and the Harkonnen medic. He ordered them to undress you and he inspected your body all over. It felt humiliating but you were aware that some families had this custom of checking the brides thoroughly before the wedding.

What surprised you more, though, was the fact he was drawing your blood, too. And he tried to make an injection of a weird substance, but you stopped him.

“What is this?” You asked, terrified.

Sleeping pills was one thing but getting injected with an odd liquid to your veins was another.

“It’s for health, Princess,” he tried to explain but it was obvious that you didn’t believe him. You moved away from the syringe as far as you could.

“What is this?” You asked once again.

“It will help to control your cycle,” he admitted.

“My cycle?” You furrowed your brow.

“What do you think is your purpose here?” He asked, without even addressing you properly. That was no way for a medic to speak to a Princess. But you assumed that if you told Baron Harkonnen about it, he’d only laugh. No one was taking you seriously here.

Your father’s voice echoed through your mind… That no one would harm you because you were Princess Atreides… Oh, how surprised he would be now. If he had been here. But he was not. You kept thinking about his absence all the time. How could he leave you like that…?

“My purpose here is to ensure an alliance between my house and The Harkonnen Dynasty,” you straightened yourself.

“No, your purpose is to give na-baron an heir and secure the Harkonnen bloodline. You will be given many injections like this and many tests will be run on your body. None of this will harm you but it will ensure that you will give na-baron a healthy son who would inherit only the best genetic material from both sides,” the medic told you.

“This is insane,” you shook your head. It reminded you of the Bene Gesserit ways… only it was even worse.

“Insane or not, Princess, you will obey,” the medic approached you with the syringe and injected the liquid into your thigh. You hissed at that and he chuckled. “Why would we hurt you before you give our na-baron an heir? Until that moment you are the most precious and protected cargo in this fortress.”

Until that time. You didn’t want to think what would happen after.

“Your bloodline is not as perfect as your brother’s but it will do. Especially with my help,” he patted your thigh and walked away to hide your blood samples into his bag. “Your son might rule the whole Empire one day.”

You pursed your lips, trying not to say anything because you were sure that the medic was also Baron's spy. You wanted to tell him, though, that they were all insane.

“Oh, also,” he said before leaving your room, “na-baron wants to see you before the wedding. Tell the guards when you’re ready and they will take you to his chamber,” he bowed down to you and left.

“Is it customary here to consummate the marriage before the ceremony?” One of your maids asked you.

“No,” you shook your head. “But this man doesn’t look like he cares about any customs. None of them do,” you shook your head, trying not to burst into tears.

Shakingly, you allowed your maids to put your mother’s wedding dress on you. It had been adjusted to fit you perfectly but now you almost regretted choosing it for the wedding. The Harkonnens didn’t deserve to see it nor to see you wearing it. It was sacred and this planet was the opposite of that.

Your bridal make up was a bit bolder than the day before. Still humble but more visible. Your hair was done really pretty and there were small white pearls here and there that complimented your beautiful dress and the pearl earrings.

You smiled sadly at your maids and knocked upon the door of your room for the guards to open it. You heard them unlock it and you walked out carefully, holding your dress up to make sure it wouldn’t get dirty on the floor.

“I am ready to see na-baron,” you told them and they nodded.

You followed them through the fortress, thinking of how much in fact you were not ready to see him. A few times you gained the courage to face him but it would quickly disappear. And you still were walking through the never ending mazes of corridors and halls.

The part of the fortress where they took you was much prettier than the one you had spent your night in. You could see that it was a palace where the nobility lived. And you became quite sure that your last night’s room had indeed been a cell.

The guards finally stopped in front of one of the heavy, black doors and knocked upon them. You swallowed thickly, realising that you still had no strategy on how to deal with Feyd-Rautha.

You hoped that you’d get an idea once you’d get to know him more.

“Come in,” his deep voice ordered and the guards opened the door. They showed you with their hands to walk inside, so you did, and they closed the door loudly behind you.

Feyd-Rautha was standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by two servant girls and three women that looked nothing like the servants but they also did not look like any ladies. They were dressed in black leather and eyeing you up and down as if you were a dessert. They were clearly making fun of you and your wedding outfit. They were making you feel uncomfortable and you’d rather be alone with him than have their company.

Feyd himself did not mind their rude behaviour. He was shirtless and wearing nothing but black pants.

“Come, come,” he encouraged you to walk closer, “I am getting ready for our ceremony,” he informed you and nodded at one of the servant girls. She was working on putting the clothes on his pale and incredibly muscular body.

You realised that he’d be able to break you in half if he wanted to. And you did not like that idea.

You walked up to him, slowly and nervously. You were scared to disobey his order.

“Well, well, well,” he teased and three women giggled viciously.

“Who are they?” You asked, having a feeling that they were his lovers. 

Your pride and honour won with your fear. After all, you were a Princess. They were no equal to you.

“Oh, they’re my pets,” he explained to you with a smirk. “Don’t worry, you’ll be my pet, too. Just of a different kind.”

The women hissed at you jealously and you straightened yourself to present yourself more dignified.

“Why did you want to see me?” You asked.

He froze for a second as his eyes scanned you.

“You have a big mouth, Princess,” he noticed.

“Do I? What makes you think so? Because I speak to you like you are my equal? We are equal,” you reminded him.

Yes, he was scary. But he was pissing you off. Everything was pissing you off about this whole situation. And your fear would often turn into anger. You had problems with that ever since you were a little girl. Spoiled little Princess, your father would call you. And when you were getting angry, you weren’t thinking of the consequences.

“That is where you are mistaken,” Feyd moved swiftly and before you noticed, you had him standing right in front of you with a sharp blade pointed at your face. “We are not equal, woman.”

That was when you realised your mistake. The medic had told you that you were the most protected cargo. But not for Feyd. For his uncle.

“My Lord, the Baron said to treat Princess gently,” one of the servant girls gasped and you laid your eyes on her. It was the same girl who had shown you to your room the previous night. She had to like you if she risked so much.

She quickly regretted that outburst of courage. Feyd moved his arm without even looking at her and slit her throat.

Your eyes widened as you had never seen death like this. And the blood from her neck splashed all over your face and your beautiful wedding gown.

You burst into tears, not being able to control it anymore.

“Aw,” Feyd raised your chin up with his blooded blade as his three pets laughed at you, “my delicate Princess is crying over dead slaves?”

You did cry about her. And about yourself. But that was not the answer he wanted.

“You’ve ruined my dress,” you sobbed and he smirked.

“Don’t cry, my pet, my servants will wash it,” he took the blade away.

“I don’t have any other for the wedding,” you sniffed and tried to dry your cheeks with the palms of your hands. They soon became bloody since your face had not been wet only with the tears.

“I think you look good for the wedding,” Feyd walked away from you to let the remaining servant girl continue dressing him up. “In fact, I think you look better now,” he added and you looked at him like he was crazy.

Well, he was crazy.

“You might leave now. We’ll see each other at the ceremony,” he told you and you nodded your head before turning around to leave his chamber as soon as possible. You wanted to be out of this room.

“You may feast on your breakfast, my pets,” was the last thing you heard before walking out and from the corner of your eye you saw the three women jumping on the dead servant girl’s body.

You felt sick and dizzy. You wanted to scream and run away but the guards took you by your arms to guide you to the throne room that had been decorated for the ceremony of your wedding to na-baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen.

11 months ago.

The stone bench cuts into the skin of your exposed thigh, one leg crossed over the other as your arm rests along the back of the garden seat. Goosebumps cover the length of your body; remnants of last night’s cold snap are still evident as the icy blanket that covers the Manor’s grounds slowly melt away with the slow rising sun. 

Of course, the cold was of no concern. Not when you had your new found habit to keep you warm. 

Taking a drag from the lit cigarette between your fingers, your gaze is unwavering as you stare down the anxious chauffeur who had pulled into the driveway of your new home at the same time that you did - belonging neither to you or Coriolanus.

It had taken you all of 30 seconds to piece together what was going on and who the car belonged to - after all, you weren’t supposed to be home until the afternoon. You aren’t surprised Coriolanus would do this but, it doesn’t make it hurt any less; doesn’t temper the green eyed monster threatening to rear its ugly head.

Sure, you didn’t like him but, the two of you had known each other your entire lives; would marry in less than a year, he belonged to you- you'd hoped those things would at least mean something to him too but, it doesn’t and again, that doesn’t surprise you but, you are disappointed. Disappointed that he would bring this into your home.

The chauffeur fiddles with the cuffs of his sleeves, unsure of where to look as his gaze shifts nervously between you and the front doors until finally, they open and he relaxes slightly, eager to escape the weight of your stare as he wrenches the car door open for his passenger. 

You watch, hidden from their view as she emerges from your home, bidding farewell to your fiance. Crushing the cigarette, you wait until she’s about to enter the car to make your presence known. 

“I always suspected there may be something more between the two of you but, to become his mistress?” You stand, making your way over to her. 

Stopping a metre out, you drag your gaze lazily over her figure until you meet her own surprised one. 

“My, my, Clemensia, I never expected that from you,” you tut. “Although, I won’t lie. After your… stint in the hospital back in our academy days, I didn’t think he’d ever look at you again.” 

She flinches at your words but it doesn’t keep her down for long. The red-eyed, puffy-cheeked beauty straightening her back and puffing her chest with an air of arrogance that you did not appreciate. 

“What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?” you repeat, laughing at the nerve of her. “Clemensia, this is my house. I can come and go as I please but, you? Well, we are going to have a problem if I see you around here again.”

"You can't stop me. He was mine first."

You take an intimidating step closer. 

“You want to sleep with Coriolanus? Fine. That’s your choice but, not in my house. Affairs are for hotels not homes, and if you ever step foot in mine again, I will make sure you never take another step again. Got it?”

She swallows thickly but nods her understanding. 

"Good. Now get off of my property before, I have you removed from it."

You don’t wait for her to go, sights immediately set on the fool you were to take as your husband in less than a year.

“Coriolanus,” you yell, throwing the doors open, anger finally revealing itself. “Coriolanus!”

You find him sitting at the head of the dining table, looking equally as surprised as his whore to see you. Unlike her however, he’s quick to hide it. 

“When did you-”

“You keep your whores out of my house, Coriolanus,” you warn him. “You keep your whores out of my house or I will teach you a lesson that I promise you will never forget.”

-

You spend the rest of the day sleeping, too tired from the morning's events and traveling to do anything else but rest, so it’s dark out by the time you leave your room. 

Padding down the staircase, your tummy makes its hunger known, growling out for anyone awake to hear. Sleepily, you make your way to the kitchen, not noticing the dim light emitting from the space until you're already inside with an unwanted guest. 

You look at him for a moment, thinking about whether to tuck tail and turn away or continue on your journey for food- your stomach makes your decision for you however, when it growls again. 

Coriolanus is the first to speak. “There's a plate in the fridge for you.” 

You don’t acknowledge him, opening the fridge in silence and indeed finding the plate of food inside. You pretend he’s not there as you move around the kitchen to warm your food up. When everything is ready, you take a seat at the kitchen bench- it’s then that Coriolanus decides to speak again.

“I think we should talk about this morning.”

“We have,” you answer him, tone clipped. “And I told you not to bring your whores into my house again.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

You breathe a laugh of disbelief. Was it not enough to discover what you did this morning now, he wanted to discuss it too? Picking up your plate, you make to leave- there were other rooms in this place that you could eat peacefully in. 

“It’s over-” he follows after you, blocking your path. “Me and Clemmie. I ended things with her.”

“Clemmie,” you scoff the name. “How very considerate of you. Does she know that?”

“She does and I didn’t end it because of what happened this morning- I ended things weeks ago. She’s just having a hard time letting go but, I promise it is. I’m with you.”

You pause- pinching the bridge of your nose.

“You should’ve ended it months ago, well before we even got engaged.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

You nod but don't forgive him and he uses your silence to keep talking. 

“I want to make this work, I want us to get along, I want-” he hesitates, taking your free hand. “I want you to like me.” 

“What makes you think I don’t?”

“You made it very clear in the Academy that you don’t, I doubt your opinion of me has changed much since.” 

You smile bitterly down at your joined hands. Your dislike for Coriolanus in school differed vastly from why you disliked him now.  

You wonder if it would ever be possible to like Coriolanus Snow now. 

It was hard to see the possibility when your entire being now depended on marrying him. Your grandparents had already loved him, he was Old Guard, cut from the same cloth and as he got older, they saw the future in Coriolanus Snow, future president of Panem. And that was before the proposal was even brought to them. Once it was… they would be damned if you married anyone else. When you attempted to go against it, they had made it known that they were more than willing to reduce you to nothing; taking steps to ensure you couldn’t refuse by hinging your inheritance of the Blizzard Telecommunications and Mass Media Empire and wealth on marrying him. Coriolanus Snow had snatched any freedom or hope for the future you envisioned for yourself away from you and he didn’t even know it. 

Maybe one day you’d move past it or maybe one day he'd accept that you never would but, for now you settle for “maybe you can start with buying me a new house.”

Coriolanus chuckles but you're being serious and he agrees, "soon."

“And Coriolanus?”

“Yeah?”

“I don't ever want to see you with Clemensia Dovecote again. I don’t take kindly to those who you would threaten to take what is mine. Green is not my colour and, I promise you won’t like seeing me in it either.”

-

All fics are my own work - I have not posted my work anywhere else.

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters/places mentioned above.

Do not copy. Do not translate. Do not repost.

Your hands subconsciously move together as you pick at your already picked-at nails. The horrible habit you picked up ever since you got married to Coryo.

Hearing the door suddenly open, you quickly pause your actions, moving your hands behind your back as you turn around to face Coryo.

Noticing your strange behaviour, he pauses to look at you before his eyes move behind you to the reflection of the mirror where you fingers were fidgeting.

Swiftly closing the door, Coriolanus strides purposefully toward you, casting a tall shadow as he towers over. Even in high heels, you find him looming above. “Show me your hands,” he commands, his tone firm and unyielding.

A subtle blend of defiance and confusion colors your expression, causing a faint twitch in your lips. “What?” your voice was too quiet, your tone feigning nervousness. A light gulp accompanies the gentle quiver of your lips.

“I said, show me your hands,” Coriolanus repeats himself, his tone escalating in volume. You release a slow exhale through your nose, carefully extending your hands in front of you. Your eyes, hesitant and uneasy, divert off to the side, catching the subtle nuances of your husband’s frustration as he lets out a sigh.

“I thought you stopped that horrible habit of yours,” he retorted sharply, firmly grabbing your hands as you flinched. A displeased expression crosses his face as he looks down at your fingers—raw and drawing blood—before his gaze shifts to your face, your bottom lip nervously tucked beneath your front teeth.

“I couldn’t help it,” you whisper softly, a hint of shame and embarrassment weaving through your tone, while he exhales deeply through his nose. “I’ll arrange for more gloves to be sent to you before tonight,” he says wearily, gently resting his hands on the curve of your stomach before quietly leaving.

~

Beside Coriolanus, engaged with his fair-weathered friends, you find yourself zoning out, your gaze fixed on the glass of water cradled in your gloved hands. The murmur of conversation fades into the background; you’re simply bored and disinterested in the overly serious discussion.

“Darling,” Coriolanus’ voice, firm yet gentle, pulls your attention as you lift your eyes to find everyone in the group focused on you. “I’m sorry, what was it?” you meekly ask, eliciting light chuckles from the women and amused glances from the men.

Coriolanus holds himself back from rolling his eyes, instead, he takes a large gulp of his posca. “Mrs. Cardew asked you how far along you are,” He smiles down at you, the kind of smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Oh,” you say softly, meeting Mrs. Cardew’s gaze, “28 weeks.” You smile at the older woman, and a few people in the group react with appreciative sounds. Coriolanus pulls you closer to his side, a possessive grasp signaling to those with wandering eyes who you belong to.

As the night wore on, a queasiness settled in your stomach. Socializing with Coriolanus’ friends became exhausting—forcing smiles, feigning excitement for the baby was draining. Leaning in, you whisper in Coriolanus’ ear, “Can I retire to our room? I don’t feel well.”

“Do you really need to? Right now?” he harshly whispers, and you gulp, hesitantly nodding. He sighs, rolls his eyes, and gets up. “Excuse me, my wife needs to rest,” he says to those around you with a fake smile as you quietly apologised.

Hand in hand, Coriolanus leads you to your shared bedroom, forcefully closing the door behind you. It was abundantly clear that he's upset about your early departure from the party.

“Did you just make up an excuse so you could leave the party? Is that it?” Coryo bitterly accuses you as you take a seat on one of the couches. “What? I didn’t make up an excuse. I’m pregnant for heavens sake, Coryo,” You frown, deeply offended by his accusation.

“Yeah, sure,” He chuckles, crossing his arms. “Why is that so hard to believe,” you scoff, mirroring his crossed arms. "Eleanor is in the exact same state as you, and she seemed perfectly fine," he shrugs, his tone nonchalant, causing your lips to part in disbelief.

“Are you seriously comparing me to Eleanor?” You furrow your eyebrows, a touch of frustration in your voice. Ready to counter his unfair comparison, you point out the facts, “She's considerably older than me, has experienced childbirth before. Naturally, she'd feel fine, Coryo."

Coriolanus mumbles something incoherent under his breath, his attitude towards you causing tears to well up in your eyes. His choice of comparison feels like a pointed jab in the most sensitive spot. When you sniffle, your husband's attention is caught. "Are you crying?" he swiftly retorts, his gaze probing, while you avert your eyes, concealing the probable redness.

A soft laugh escapes him, "Honestly, you can be so childish sometimes. Getting upset over that?" He raises an eyebrow at you—ironically so. His comment serves as a spark igniting a blaze within you. How dare he call you childish when you’ve done nothing but act older than you were.

“I just can’t believe you’re comparing me to Eleanor who’s had children before, unlike me who’s fucking terrified at the thought of being a mother,” you spat, the intensity of your emotions evident in your words. Even from a distance, you notice the shift in Coriolanus' eyes, the once-blue depths now darkening with an unspoken tension.

“As the First Lady you’re expected to give me heirs. Now I need a woman who’s ready to give me children, are you going to be her or not?” His words strike a nerve, and you feel your eyes twitch as a headache begins to form.

"Did you even think about that before marrying me, Coryo?" you challenge, your words causing him to furrow his eyebrows. "Because you damn well know I'm not prepared to be a mother. So, why choose me? You could have selected someone else—someone older, someone genuinely willing to birth your children." The air hangs heavy with the weight of your words, leaving a palpable tension between you and Coriolanus.

Your fingers unconsciously pick at your nails, the once-immaculate white gloves now bear crimson stains at the fingertips. Coriolanus' gaze fixates on your hands, and he snaps, swiftly moving towards you to pry your fingers apart. "Stop doing that!" he commands, his tone sharp.

As he moves in, his face is so close that you can feel his breath gently fanning your features. Undeterred, he continues with a venom-laced voice, "You should be thanking me for choosing you, for pulling your family from debt." His eyes, intense and unyielding, bore into yours.

“I could have married someone else. I had a list I could have chosen from who could’ve helped but no, you had to marry me.” you assert, the weight of your words causing a brief shock to cross Coriolanus' face. It's a rare moment where you've left him momentarily speechless.

-----

The train car you were currently seated in was more luxurious than you remembered, seats having been upholstered from your last trip out of the Capitol.

You looked away from the mountain ranges decorating the horizon when the door opened, Coriolanus entering.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, coming to sit in the seat across from you, moving your feet from the seat to his lap.

Humming, you leant your head back as he began massaging them. "Better now. What was that meeting for? I thought you had travel days free."

Coriolanus pondered over how to answer, not wanting to tell you he had just had some rebels executed for a potential threat in Six. "Nothing you need to concern yourself with."

Opening an eye to look at him, you could read the man like an open book. "How many were there?"

There was a beat of silence before Coriolanus spoke up.

"Four. Would have been three but some things you can't avoid."

You didn't reply, simply wiggling your foot when Coriolanus' hands stopped massaging the arch of your foot.

He laughed, resuming the action as you two watched the mountain ranges and nature outside of the train.

-----

You yawned, staring at the ceiling of the Crane's hotel in District Three. It was nearing one in the morning, and you had gotten a sum total of about two and a half hours since you and Coriolanus crawled into the bed.

Moving as quietly as you could, you rose from the bed, waiting a beat to see if Coriolanus woke up.

His rather loud snore told you he was still off dreaming, something you were thankful for. He had a lot on his shoulders, and you didn't want to add onto the never-ending pile of worry and stress with the upcoming election.

Moving to the bathroom, you softly closed the door and looked at yourself in the mirror. The twins had been keeping you up at night more frequently, and your OB/GYN said it was just because while they were starting to get a regular sleep pattern, they couldn't tell day from night and often slept during the day.

When you opened the door, you frowned when you saw your husband sitting up in the bed, cheek still indented from the creases in the pillow.

"What are you doing up?" He asked, voice hoarse from sleep.

Rubbing one hand across your ever-growing bump, sleepily blinking at the man across from you. "Your children are wide awake, it seems."

Coriolanus smiled, patting the spot you had previously occupied. "Come here, I'll rub your back."

With the promise of that, you made your way back into the bed, stuffing one of the many pillows on the bed between your knees.

"Oh, well hello, little one."

You looked at where Coriolanus was staring at your bump, tiny foot barely visible. "Oh that's the most disturbing thing I think I've ever seen."

"Don't say that!" Coriolanus chided, though there was a smile on his face. "That's your child in there!"

"Coryo, you shouldn't be able to see their hands from outside!" You laughed, even though your OB/GYN said it was very possible to start to see little hands and feet as there became less and less free space.

Coriolanus pressed a kiss to your hairline, rubbing the place where the foot was. "Hi, babies. Please let your mother sleep, she needs to help me win over the hearts of Panem."

Rolling your eyes, you moved Coriolanus' hand to your back, letting your head fall back against a pillow. "Rub my back."

"Yes dear."

-----

Hand clasped tightly in Coriolanus' you two followed the Peacekeepers to the barracks to meet with the district's mayor and Commanding Peacekeeper.

You two had won the hearts over a majority of each District you've visited, but as you two traveled farther from the Capitol, you knew it would be more difficult and the chance of threats and rebels increased.

The number of Peacekeepers surrounding you two had grown within each stop, Coriolanus wanting to make sure nothing happened to his wife and mother of his children, his heirs.

"Mr. and Mrs. Snow, we're very pleased you two could be here!" The mayor smiled, shaking both of your hands.

You returned the sentiment, eyes locked on the plush-looking chair behind him. "Is it alright if I sit? My feet are killing me."

The mayor, who seemed to have just realized how large your bump had grown, nodded quickly, gesturing to the chair you had pointed to.

Coriolanus stood behind you, one hand smoothing your hair as he and the mayor discussed the afternoon's speeches and tour around the main hub.

"Will you be joining us, Mrs. Snow?"

"No, she's been feeling a little more tired." Coriolanus replied before you could speak up.

The mayor frowned, seemingly disappointed.

"Is there a problem?" You asked, feeling Coriolanus' hand still at the nape of your neck.

"Well, the children here have been so excited to meet you, but I'm sure seeing Mr. Snow will be just as fine."

Coriolanus knew you had a soft spot for children, how they still saw the best in everything. "Love, you barely slept last night. It's safer if you rest."

"Coryo, it won't be too long. And besides, we have a couple travel days I can catch up on sleep."

You ignored your husband's deep frown, instead smiling at the mayor. "We can't possibly let the kids down, can we?"

The mayor clapped happily, rising from his seat. "Well then, shall we go?"

You stood from the chair with some help from your husband, who placed a hand on your lower back, unable to keep his hands off of you.

"You're a spoiled brat, you know that?" He whispered, lips brushing the shell of your ear.

"And you love me for it." You replied, sharp smile on your face.

-----

Coriolanus watched as you followed a few of the schoolchildren around the classroom, letting them explain the backgrounds of their various posters and projects.

"She's going to be a wonderful mother." The mayor spoke, standing next to Coriolanus.

He nodded, watching you kneel down to listen more to a rather small girl, your eyes focused on her entirely. "She already is."

"Mr. Snow, Mayor, we're going to be late if we don't head for the town square now."

Nodding, Coriolanus walked over to your side, kneeling down next to you and the young girl. "Hi, love. Mind introducing me to your friend?"

You looked at your husband, and then at the young girl. "Coryo, meet Clementine. Her friends call her Clemmie."

Coriolanus saw the twinkle in your eye as you looked back at the girl. "It's lovely to meet you, Clemmie. You know, Mrs. Snow and I have a friend named Clemmie."

"Really?" Little Clementine asked, eyes wide.

Nodding, Coriolanus helped you stand up straight. "We do, but don't worry, we can have two Clemmies. Now, I do have to steal Mrs. Snow now, we have to go to town square."

Clementine pouted, but nodded. "It was nice to meet you!"

"You, too, Clemmie! Good luck with your new brother!" You smiled, squeezing Coriolanus' hand as the two of you followed some Peacekeepers out of the school and down to the town square and stage.

You've only seen the stage on television for the Reaping Ceremonies, it looked larger on screen. "She was so sweet, Coryo. She was telling me how her mother looked like me and now she has a little brother."

Coriolanus smiled, thumb rubbing your hand. "That's very sweet. I'm sure you made her ent-"

A loud explosion cut Coriolanus off, Peacekeepers immediately springing into action, separating the two of you to get you both to safety.

There were a few more explosions around the stage, sending debris and dirt in the air.

"Coryo!" You called, trying to wriggle out of the Peacekeepers' grip and find your husband.

You coughed as you inhaled smoke, eyes wide to spot Coriolanus. "Let me go! I need to find Coriolanus!"

"Ma'am, you need to come with us! We have orders to bring both you and Mr. Snow to a safe room, please cooperate."

You had a disdain for the Peacekeeper who spoke to you rather harshly, feeling his hands tighten their grip on your bicep.

Stumbling a few times, you had finally made it to the small bunker, heart hammering when you saw Coriolanus and the mayor already in there, dirt on both of their faces and clothing.

"Love," Coriolanus sighed in relief, though it was short-lived as he ran his eyes over your body. "Love, you're bleeding."

-----

QUADRUPEDAL MONSTERS

An American Werewolf in London (1981)

An American Werewolf in Paris (1997)

Ginger Snaps (2000)

Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004)

Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning (2004)

BIPEDAL MONSTERS

Bad Moon (1996)

Dog Soldiers (2002)

Never Cry Werewolf (2008)

Silver Bullet (1985)

Underworld (2003)

Underworld: Evolution (2006)

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)

Underworld: Awakening (2012)

Underworld: Blood Wars (2016)

Van Helsing (2004)

Van Helsing: The London Assignment (2004)

Van Helsing (2016-2021)

The Howling (1981)

The Howling: Reborn (2011)

The Order (2019-2020)

The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)

HUMANOID CREATURES

Howl (2015)

Teen Wolf (1985)

Teen Wolf (2011-2017)

Teen Wolf: The Movie (2023)

The Curse of the Werewolf (1961)

The Wolfman (2010)

Wer (2013)

Wolf (1994)

WolfCop (2014)

Another WolfCop (2016)

“REGULAR” WOLVES

Blood & Chocolate (2007)

Bitten (2014-2016)**

Hemlock Grove (2013-2015)

Red Riding Hood (2011)*

The Company Of Wolves (1984)

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)*

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)*

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn part 1 (2011)*

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn part 2 (2012)*

Viking Wolf (2022)**

Wolfblood (2012-2017)**

Wolfen (1981)

Wolfwalkers (2020)

Wolf’s Rain (2003-2004)

*These movies technically do include “regular” wolves, but they’re much larger than real-life wolves