Lady Stardust

1. borrowing misery from future

2. carrying grief of the past

After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly

And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?

Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose

“Don’t let it get to that big head of yours, Merlin.

Ilya then has the rest of the Centaurs help him make a compilation of secretly filmed Shane moments showing how good a boyfriend he is

Ilya doing the “would you still love me if I was a worm?” thing and without missing a beat or asking any questions Shane just goes “Yeah”

Harris films himself asking Shane random Ilya questions and Shane always having an answer. “Hey what Ilya’s favorite milkshake flavor?” “Mint.” “I’m buying everyone fun socks, what’s Ilya’s favorite color?” “Blue, but only if it’s light, he doesn’t like dark blue.” “What’s Ilya’s favorite fruit?” “Pears.”

Troy waits for Shane to sit on the bench looking at his phone or tying his skates then says “Oh hey Ilya’s coming in” and catches multiple examples of Shane immediately scootching over to one side to make room for Ilya to sit next to him

Ilya puts his feet up on Shane’s lap silently and Shane starts lightly massaging them. Ilya lays his head on Shane’s shoulder and Shane starts quietly playing with his hair

They film Ilya handing Shane random things and asking him to hold them and Shane does without question. The internets favorite is the one where Ilya pulls a pineapple out of his bag and asks Shane to hold it and he agrees, getting his gear on one handed so he can keep holding the pineapple in the other

Ilya is in a depression low and the fact that his hockey persona is still “biggest asshole” no matter what he does has been getting to him even if he won’t admit it. So Shane posts a photo compilation titled “Every Reason Ilya Rozanov Is NHLs Biggest Asshole”

-“Bullies his teammates” with a picture of Ilya doing a celebratory fist pump next to Haas with his face in his hands, in front of a tv showing Ilya getting first in Mario Kart

-“Bullies his competitors” with a picture of Ilya laughing and Scott Hunter looking like he wants to set him on fire with his mind as he holds a birthday card labeled ‘Woah! You made it to 100!’

-“Bullies Hayden Pike” with a picture of Ilya and Jackie in the lake doing the Dirty Dancing lift while Hayden stands by with his hands on his hips and glaring

-“Stealing” with a group of pictures of Ilya wearing a Hollander 24 hoodie, wearing the Canadian Olympic fleece, and wearing one of Shane’s old jerseys

-“Dramatic” with a picture of Ilya in a feather boa at a karaoke night at a gay bar, eyes closed as he is clearly belting out some song

-“Takes jobs away from janitors” with a picture of Ilya in an arena post-game and picking up litter people dropped in the hallway

-“Bad role model to youth” with a picture of Ilya and a kid at one of the camps sticking their tongues out at each other

-“Child abuse” with a picture of Ilya playing paintball with a group of young boys

-“Animal abuse” with a picture of Ilya bathing an unhappy Anya in a kiddie pool in the backyard

-“Disturbing local wildlife” with a blurry picture of Ilya running away from a Canada goose

-“Encourages cavities” with a picture of Ilya letting trick or treaters take handfuls of candy from a bowl

-“Unfair sales tactics” with a picture of Ilya taking pictures with people at a Girl Scout cookie sale table, the table surrounded by a crowd of people waiting and holding cookie boxes

-“Trespassing” with a picture of Ilya shoveling a neighbors driveway

-“Fashion crimes” with a picture of Ilya in a pink baseball hat, a neon orange tank top, jorts, and neon green crocs

-“Not helpful at puzzles” with a picture of Ilya and David in front of a one thousand piece puzzle, both with their faces in their hands, pieces everywhere