𝖇𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖓𝖆

That’s why she thanked to have, of all people, Azriel by her side. He never ever let her give up, not even when she so desperately wanted to.

“Hey,” Azriel stopped her sad steps before she could winnow up to the House of Wind.

For a split second, Mareena felt a rush electrifying all her body at the simple touch of his scarred hand on her wrist.

It was stupid, really. It was not the first time Azriel touched her. But it did happened so little, that when it did, Mareena couldn’t help but feel a little off balance by it.

“We’ll find your mother.”

It might have been her imagination, but she could’ve sworn he traced small circles on her skin with his thumb, and that almost made her sigh.

She smiled instead, swallowing the strange, known feeling in her throat.

“Thank you, Az.”

They stayed like that for maybe 5 seconds more, but it was enough to make both of them have to draw some air after Azriel abruptly let her go.

It was always like that. As soon as his touch came, it vanished just as quickly.

☪︎⋆

When Mareena first woke up, she didn’t noticed the three bodies standing so near her bed they almost hover over her. It took her a minute to fully regain consciousness in the present world. And when she did so, not even a second after her eyes had opened, three loud voices screamed at her at the same time. Causing panic to quickly awake her completely.

“Happy birthday!”

If it wasn’t for the pact tying her to her High Lord for eternity that made it impossible for her to ever hurt him, she probably would’ve attacked her three friends after such an outrageous wake up.

Mor launched herself towards Mareena, making the brunette laugh while trying not to fall on her back.

“Happy birthday, Mare!” The blonde whispered in her ear with such happiness it was inevitably contagious.

Her birthdays had become the biggest celebrations there could be. Her friends had made very sure of that.

Since Mareena did not have an official birthday, as she had no idea when had she been born, they celebrated the day she escaped the Spring Court forever. As far as she knew, there could be no date truer than that, for that had been the day she had been reborn.

And her friends never ever let the day pass by without making the most out of it.

It was something so dear, so special to her. She had never before had people that cared so much about her, let alone made a day specially about her. But they? They never failed to remind her of the life she had fought, with claws and teeth, to have right now.

“Can you get up? It’s my turn.”

When both females stood up from the bed, Cassian didn’t waste a second before wrapping Mareena’s body in his arms. Even tho it could seem like a bone-crushing hug coming from the male of brute force, in reality, Cassian’s were the best hugs she had ever felt. So gentle and loving and welcoming and warm, all that the male was.

“I will try not to take it as an insult that I was left to be the last,” when the Illyrian let go of her, with a huge smile she turned around to face the violet eyed male standing at the waiting.

Rhys always tried to hug her for three. Him, Valeria, and of course, Alhena. With that one single hug, she could feel the love of all three of them.

“Happy birthday, Mare.”

“Thanks, Rhys,” they both whispered to each other.

“Come on! Breakfast is ready downstairs.”

The three of them descended the stairs to the dinning room, where Amren was making sure everything was ready for her.

She looked everywhere for a certain Illyrian that was missing, but couldn’t find him or sense him anywhere near.

“Happy birthday, Mareena,” Amren winked a silver eye at her, with a hint of a smile that was enough to show her affection to the girl.

Mareena smiled, thanking the female. But a small sting of disappointment surprised her at the absence of Azriel.

“Come on, come on, you have to open your presents and cut the cake!” Mor rushed her, pushing her slightly towards the table, where a ton of presents and a big, big cake of what she already knew was white chocolate awaited her.

Mareena looked accusingly at Rhysand, she didn’t had a doubt that the majority of that pile of presents had been from him. Every year, she told him she didn’t need a ton of presents to feel happy.

“I got a bit carried away, sorry,” was the male’s answer every time.

Once seated, no one seemed as bothered as her by Azriel’s absence, which told her he was probably very very busy, so she forced herself to keep smiling, she understood how hard work was for him sometimes.

“Happy birthday,” but then Azriel’s voice made her lift her head up.

He was standing in the hallway, his Illyrian armor on. Smiling softly at her. A small window opened in Azriel’s eyes for her to see what he was thinking and feeling. Pride. Affection. That was what the male let her see.

Mareena smiled as well, hoping he saw too in her eyes what she wanted to say. That she thanked him for being in her life, for being what he was to her.

“Thanks.”

“I’ll… give you my present later,” he whispered to her once he was sitting at her side, but obviously, the sneaky ears of those around them picked up his words.

“Don’t tell me you forgot to buy a present, Azriel,” accused Cassian.

“No, of course not, it’s not that, I don’t have it here,” he tried to defend himself.

“You did forgo-” before the male finished his sentence, Mor grabbed his head and pulled it to the piece of cake she had just cut out for him.

“Shut up and eat Cassian.”

Mareena laughed delighted at seeing the male look at the female in utter disbelief, while wiping out the cake from his face and taking it directly to his mouth.

She didn’t need the presents, not because she didn’t liked what her friends bought for her, but because she already had the biggest present life could’ve ever given her, all of them right there, right now, sitting on that very table.

Her friends, her family.

Of course, that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to wear out the dresses and shoes Rhys had surely bought for her. Those she loved as well.

☪︎⋆

Finishing breakfast, Rhys promised they were going to truly celebrate big time at Rita’s that evening.

Azriel accompanied her on a walk along the Sidra, with nothing but comforting silence between them.

With him by her side, she didn’t felt the need to feel in the noice in her head with outside noice.

“Mare,” they stoped their walk when the male sighed her name. “Remember you told me what you saw every time we got closer to your mother?”

“Yes,” Mareena nodded, a bit confused.

Every time they got closer where her mother might be, Mareena saw two big, glowing trees, shaped like an archway, a field of flowers of every color leading the way inside. Mareena believed that was the place that was calling her, if she found that archway, she’ll found her mother. But it just simply didn’t seem to exist, every time they got closer, they then got inexplicable lost.

“Well, I found it.”

Mareena was left completely and utterly speechless. Those words couldn’t have possibly come out of his mouth.

“What? H-how?” Before the male could reply, she interrupted him with more questions. “Wait, that’s where you have been lately? That’s where you were these morning?”

“Yes. I’m sorry I was late to your birthday, but… I wanted this to be your present.”

Mareena did not even pay attention to Azriel’s apologetic words, she threw herself into his unprepared arms in such a deep hug the male had to take a step back to avoid losing balance.

“Thank you,” even tho she tried, she couldn’t keep her voice from breaking slightly.

The first thing she noticed was a shadow on the corner of her eye, more than one, actually, all moving frantically around her. Then there was a male voice, but it took her a while to understand what he was saying.

“For the Mother, Mare, are you ok?” Azriel’s ragged breathing and furrowed expression indicated his stress and worry.

“Yes I… think so. What happened?” When she finally regained full consciousness of her surroundings, she stared at the male’s hazel, worried eyes in confusion.

“I would like to know that too, you just… disappeared, and when I found you it seemed like you didn’t hear me, you were… paralyzed.”

Mareena stared at a blank spot for a long time, she had absolutely no idea what had just happened. But she felt it, somehow, deep down, there was a voice telling her exactly what it had been.

It wasn’t possible, she could not believe it. She could not bring herself to believe it.

“I think…” she started saying anyway, but her throat got so dry mid sentence, she had to swallow hard, not able to even look at the Shadowsinger’s eyes. “I think my mother’s calling me.”

☪︎⋆

Back at the House of Wind, they didn’t mention a thing about what had happened to anyone. Mainly because when Mareena omitted that part of the story when talking to Rhys, Azriel didn’t make a move to fill his High Lord in either. If she didn’t wanted to talk about whatever that had been, he wouldn’t either.

But right now it seemed she didn’t wanted to talk about much, and that did worry Azriel more than he cared to admit.

After having dinner with the Inner Circle, Mareena made a lame excuse of being exhausted after the mission today to get away and lock herself in her room with the pretense of wanting to rest.

So after spending a few unsuspecting minutes downstairs, he sneaked out of the dinner table, and went upstairs to Mareena’s room.

Azriel stood on the door for several minutes, pondering what to do.

Strange, when it came to his day-to-day life, he was the most organized, decisive male, but when it came to Mareena… he never really knew what to do.

Suddenly, when he was considering finally knocking on the girl’s door, it opened just about enough for the chestnut female to poke her head out.

“I can hear your very loud thoughts from inside, Az, do you wanna come in?” Even tho she looked tired —which only helped to build up more of that worry Azriel was already building up in his chest—, she smiled slightly at the Illyrian, causing him to have to pause and reset his brain before looking for some kind of answer to that.

“No, I-”

But before he could finish that sentence like he always did, Mareena finished opening the door and so out of nowhere Azriel didn’t even had time to react; she grabbed his wrist and pulled him in her room.

Azriel just went static when the door closed behind him. Standing up so tall that his spine began to ache. And gaining such a soft laugh from the female it made his head snap in her direction so quickly it gave him a cramp.

“Now you can say whatever you came here to say,” leaving him standing in utter stillness, Mareena walked to one of the couches in the room, and heavily settled down with a tired sigh.

“I just wanted to, uhm…” he had to clear his throat and stare to the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in order to advert his attention from the fact he was inside her room. “I just wanted to know if you were alright.”

Mareena sighed, and he unintentionally lifted up his head to look at her, as if it was some kind of reflex. He regretted it the moment he realized he wasn’t going to be able to look away now.

She was wearing a simple silk baby blue night gown, but that color looked so good on her it almost made her glow. She wasn’t looking at him, she was staring at the ceiling with her head resting on the back of the couch, her eyes way too pensive, way too troubled.

Azriel found himself swallowing way too hard.

“I don’t know,” she admitted, surprising the male who had sworn she was about to lie and say she was alright, as she always did.

Mareena then lifted her head to look at him, a small, sincere but tired smile arched ever so slightly her lips.

“Maybe I would feel better if you moved at least your little finger.”

He laughed, more out of nerves than anything, and stretched his way too tense neck.

“Come,” Mareena patted the space next to her in the couch, and Azriel had to hold back with all his might another gulp. “Please?”

It was as if the word commanded his legs to move before he could stop them. He moved and sat beside her, holding his breath when, suddenly, Mareena laid down to rest her head on his lap. While his whole body tensed up, hers seemed to immediately relax, sighing deeply and closing her tired eyes.

“I simply don’t know.”

Azriel too sighed then, and letting his body relax a little bit, he couldn’t help himself when one of his hands flew to the curly, brown locks of her hair.

“That’s ok, to not know, most of the times I do not know either.”

She smiled again, with her eyes still closed, and although she couldn’t see him, Azriel smiled too.

“Good,” she shifted a little bit, as if she wasn’t really planning on getting up anytime soon.

He wasn’t really planning on it, either. They stayed like that, in the quiet of Mareena’s room. It was everything far from awkward, it was just… right. Everything about it was right, how they both felt at such ease with each other, even if it was in simple silence. Mareena had needed that, the peace, the silence, the comfort, a comfort she had learned a long time ago, but had never been brave enough to admit; she only got from him.

And so as she felt like she was breathing again while laying on Azriel’s lap, she felt comfortable enough to spit out the words.