My body isn't able most days as my spirit is, and don't ask about my mental state. Most days have have a spirit that wants to tackle the world, but my body just can't, and my mind says why even try anymore, stupid body doesn't care so why should I.. (this is where I have those cartoon movie characters having a actual seen in my head like the movie..lmao) Mentally this is where I fight, fight to know I didn't ask to get chronically ill and no help from doctors or others, mentally I know this. But the part that says I'm a looser, I'm disgusting, How dare I allow my home to get in such a state, How dare I not be the wife my husband deserves with all he does for me, How dare I not have a job, Why are the dishes piled a mile high, Clothes piled on the couch and not folded and put away, Why are there cobwebs as if living in a horror film, Why isn't dinner ready for a man that works 16+hrs a day and then has to come take care of me, Why do I let everybody down not being able to attend functions, Why have you let all your friends and family down, Why are my friends and family not around, WHY, WHY, WHY? I have understand I have a body that's in it's 90's, I know that I didn't ask for these conditions, I know I am a child of God, I know I have an amazing husband and parents. WHY can't I stop the self berating, I'll tell ya why because the love that my Father God has for me and the love that my husband has for me, makes me want to FIGHT, fight for the "normie's" idea of what I should be..I'M NOT A "NORMIE," I AM UNIQUELY ALTERED! And living as a "normie" for so many years has skewed rationalized thinking. I CAN AND WILL ACCOMPLISH ALL THAT MY BODY LET'S ME, ON MY TIME, MY ABILITIES AND ALL WHILE LIVING DIVERSELY ABLE!!!! BEING A "NORMIE" IS THE LIE WE ALL DEAL WITH, AND BEING A "NORMIE" IS NOT REALISTIC!! That's is what I REALLY need to keep telling myself. And if you don't get it, or understand any part of my story then don't let the door hit ya on your way out of my life..I need the ones who understand and love me no matter my unique lifestyle and are willing to help or at least attempt to communicate. That depressive baggage isn't mine anymore! https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp99sfMndO4/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=o2ipemjnen12