⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚ Masterlist ⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚
Content may contain sexual and mature themes.
Marvel Masterlist ⊹₊⟡⋆
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occasionally subtle
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
One Nice Bug Per Day
d e v o n
Claire Keane
hello vonnie
Not today Justin
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

ellievsbear

★
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

blake kathryn

shark vs the universe
noise dept.
Monterey Bay Aquarium
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵

#extradirty
Sweet Seals For You, Always
taylor price
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

seen from United States
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seen from Canada
seen from Congo - Brazzaville
seen from Bangladesh

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@ditzyfwnn
⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚ Masterlist ⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚
Content may contain sexual and mature themes.
Marvel Masterlist ⊹₊⟡⋆
Modern Warfare Masterlist ⊹₊⟡⋆
Peaky Blinders Masterlist ⊹₊⟡⋆
Ateez Masterlist ⊹₊⟡⋆
Stranger Things Masterlist ⊹₊⟡⋆
Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist ⊹₊⟡⋆

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priest eddie munson x sinner reader coming soon ;) , im so excited for this, a little moodboard preview!
Girls on Film ᝰ.ᐟ
Chapter Twelve: Softness, Reassurance, and Honeyed Eyes.
Chapter Summary: The next morning comes with soft sunlight and sweetened touches that melt into the understanding that lines have been crossed, and things are changing between you two. Instead of fear, you welcome it. You don’t hide behind the fear of abandonment, you don’t hide behind the voice in your hide that whispers lies that make you second-guess yourself. You listen to the honeyed reassurance that spills from his lips, coated with nothing but the truth.
Pairing: Eddie Munson & Fem Reader
Tags: Heavy Dialogue, Emotional Vulnerability, Soft Intimacy, Domestic Intimacy, Affectionate Gestures, Words of Affirmation, Reassurance, Mentions of Relationships, Filler Chapter, Etc.
Word Count: 4.8k.
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The next morning came softly, not loudly, or all at once, but in cozy threads of sunlight that spilled through the thin curtains in his bedroom. You woke up slowly, not from anxiety or the familiar weight of dread that usually sat in your chest the second your eyes opened.
You woke because your body had actually rested, eyes fluttering open to the pale ceiling above you, your thoughts sluggish and soft, like they haven’t remembered how to be heavy. For a moment, you don’t even remember where you were, you just feel the warmth and the steady rise and fall of something beneath your cheek.
Then you became aware of it, the arm draped around your waist, and the faint smell of pheromones lingering in the air. The memories of last night came back, not in tiny flashes of embarrassment or awkwardness, but in welcoming tenderness.
Your gaze dropped slowly, and that’s when you saw him. Eddie was still asleep, his face relaxed in a way you’ve never seen before. His curls were sprawled messily across the pillow, one arm tucked beneath it while the other rested protectively across your stomach like it had settled there naturally in the night. You were curled into him, leg draped across his thigh, and your cheek pressed against his chest. Your hand was resting loosely near his collarbone, like you had fallen asleep holding onto him without realizing.
And you didn’t move, because for the first time in a long time, waking up beside someone didn’t make you feel exposed. Your eyes traced his face slowly, studying the faint shadows beneath his eyes, the faint crookedness of his nose, and the tiny scar near his chin that you’ve never noticed before.
He looked peaceful, and something in your chest tightened in a way that didn’t hurt. You trusted him, completely trusted him with your body and heart, and the thought didn’t come with fear. It came with certainty, because you trusted him to still be here in the morning, and he was.
You shifted just slightly, careful not to wake him, fingers moving absentmindedly against the fabric of his shirt, tracing small shapes you weren’t even aware of. His warmth soaked into you, reminding you that this wasn’t a dream, that last night wasn't a spur-of-the-moment thing that you’d wake up from and regret.
You didn’t regret it, not at all.
Eddie stirred a little underneath you, a small sleepy sound filling the quietness as his arm instinctively tightened around your waist. You froze for half a second, carefully watching him, and wondering if he’d wake up.
But he didn’t wake up. He just pulled you closer, and that unconscious movement did more to steady your heart than anything else could have, because he didn’t pull away or flinch; he just held you as if you belonged there.
You let your cheek settle back against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, and letting the peaceful sound ease the tiny voice in the back of your mind that was overthinking. You stayed like that for a while, not thinking or worrying about what came next, letting yourself exist in the warmth of sunlight and the soft certainty that something had changed in the best way possible.
Eddie shifted again, his brows furrowing slightly as he slowly woke up, head tilting just a bit before his eyes opened. They were hazy at first, still filled with remnants of sleep as they adjusted to the sunlight peering through the window. Then they found you, and something in his expression softened so deeply it almost hurt to look at.
He didn’t say anything right away, just looked at you with a tired gaze, almost like he was afraid you’d disappear if he blinked at the wrong moment. Eventually, a sleepy smile curved at his lips. “Good morning, sweetheart.” He said, voice thick with sleep.
“Good morning, Eddie.” You whisper back, gently brushing a piece of hair away from his face.
Eddie’s hand shifted across your waist, his thumb brushing gently against your side without even realizing he was doing it. His gaze looked over your face slowly and tenderly, like he was memorizing you in the morning light. “You okay over there?” He asked quietly, brushing over the material of his shirt that rested over your body.
“I’m okay, more than okay.” You say sincerely, because you really are.
He studied you for another moment, searching your expression for any signs of doubt, but when he found nothing but contentment, his shoulders visibly relaxed. “Good. That’s good.” He said softly, and you could feel the difference behind today’s softness. No distance or tension was lingering around, just something new that settled warmly between you.
You stayed there for a while longer, limbs tangled comfortably between each other as the quiet morning stretched around you, almost like it didn’t want to interrupt whatever this was. Eddie’s fingers traced soothing patterns against your hip while your head rested near his shoulder, exchanging unhurried kisses that were filled with tenderness and affection.
Outside the bedroom, you could hear the faint sounds of the rest of the trailer waking up, pipes ticking softly as they adjusted to the morning temperature, and cars passing on the road somewhere in the park. It grounded the moment enough to remind you that the world was still orbiting around you, and nothing had shattered after last night.
After a couple of moments of silence, the sound of grumbling filled the room and embarrassingly gave away his hunger. Eddie blinked, then looked down at you, the two of you erupting into laughter at the same time. “Well, I think that’s our cue to get up,” Eddie said with a grin, voice still thick with sleep.
He shifted first, carefully moving so you wouldn’t awkwardly fall off him as he sat up, gently untangling his legs from yours. You followed a second later, pushing yourself upright and letting the blanket fall off your shoulders. The room was cooler now without the shared warmth, the air brushing lightly across your skin as you both adjusted to sitting up after being tangled together for so long.
When the blanket slipped entirely, a slight tremor of nerves brushed through you, suddenly aware of how exposed you were, still dressed in nothing but his t-shirt and panties. Eddie looked over at you, not in a way to make you feel self-conscious, keeping the same expression he wore all morning, admiring and careful, like you were something he didn’t want to mishandle.
He lifted himself from the mattress, hand reaching out for you, gesturing toward the door. “C’mon, sweetheart.” Eddie said gently, expression softening as you rested your palm against his.
You slipped your hand into his, letting him help you onto your feet, feeling your legs wobble slightly from being in bed for so long. His hands settled around your waist, and he stared down at you with a light smile, his eyes brightening with amusement as you swatted at his hand, moving toward the pile of clothes on the ground.
Eddie leaned over to grab his jeans from the messy pile on the floor, clumsily pulling them over his legs, nearly stumbling forward as one leg caught in the fabric. “Don’t laugh, I’m operating at twenty percent right now.” He muttered, catching the small lip that slipped out as he adjusted his belt.
You quickly looked away, hiding that amused expression as you reached over for your clothes, slipping back into your jeans before pulling your shirt over your head, fingers moving slower than usual when you noticed his gaze landing on you, quietly watching you with an expression of admiration.
You glanced over at him, catching the way he idly fidgeted with his rings, hair still messy from sleep, and clothes wrinkled from being carelessly tossed aside. “You’re staring at me again, Eddie.” You point out, quickly combing through the messy strands of hair with your fingers.
He shook his head faintly, a light smile curving over his sleep-ridden expression. “You just look really pretty in the morning,” Eddie said casually, like it was something already embedded into routine.
You felt your body grow warmer, letting out a breathless laugh at his affectionate words. “I probably look like a mess right now.” You said, smiling despite yourself.
Eddie stepped toward you, closing the tiny space between your bodies with hesitation. “Yeah, you do.” He said, laughing softly at the mock expression of offense on your face. “And it’s my favorite version of you so far.”
He reached out slowly at the sudden hitch in your breathing, letting his arm slip around your waist as he gently pulled you closer. His other hand came up to brush the strands of hair away from your face, tucking the loose strands behind your hair before pressing a soft kiss against your temple.
It was a simple gesture, but the gentle touch made something ache tenderly in your chest.
“C’mon, I’ll make some coffee.” He whispered, giving your waist a gentle squeeze before letting go, his hand lingering for a moment longer than necessary. “Looks like we both need it.”
A soft laugh eased over your lips at his comment, lightly brushing your hand across his before following him out of the bedroom, the rest of the trailer still carrying that early morning quietness. The two of you moved around each other in the small kitchenette easily, Eddie reaching for the coffee tin. At the same time, you turned on the coffee pot, the smell of coffee already filling the trailer as he placed the coffee grounds into the filter.
You leaned back against the counter while the coffee brewed, watching as he moved around the kitchen, grabbing a pan from the cabinet and setting it on the stove before glancing back over at you. “Eggs and toast okay?” He asked, already reaching into the fridge for the carton of eggs.
“Yeah, that’s fine.” You said, reaching into the cabinet for two mugs and setting them on the counter as the coffee slowly dripped into the pot.
Eddie nodded, cracking a couple of eggs into the pan while you pulled a couple slices of bread out for toast. The smell of coffee grew stronger as it finished brewing, spitting out the last bit of liquid with a quiet hiss, though neither of you reached for it immediately.
After finishing with the eggs, he reached into the cabinet to grab two plates, sliding the cooked eggs onto the plate before leaning back against the counter, watching you with a warm expression as you poured two cups of coffee and carefully set them down on the small dining table.
Eddie grabbed the two plates of food, setting them down on the table as you sat across from each other, hands hovering over the warmth radiating from the ceramic mugs, letting the quiet morning settle into a comforting gentleness.
His hand wrapped around the mug, taking a slow sip from the sweetened coffee, looking over the rim of the cup. “You feeling okay?” Eddie asked softly, voice laced with reference to last night.
You didn’t answer right away, letting yourself sit with the question before responding, letting the realization of calmness slowly surface because, for once, the racing nerves of anxiety weren’t pacing through your head, wondering if this was going to fall apart.
You tilted your head slightly, a small smile curving over your expression. “I don’t feel scared or regretful.” You said quietly.
Eddie’s expression shifted, something in his posture releasing, like he had been holding some unknown tension that he didn’t even realize was there. His expression softened, eyes warming with affection as he smiled lightly. “Good, I’m glad. You don’t have to feel scared with me, never.” Eddie said gently, though carrying a hint of firmness.
You wrapped both hands around the ceramic mug, looking down at the swirling steam for a moment. “Sometimes I forget how not to feel like that. Usually, whenever I let someone get close, I spend the next day feeling like I need to prepare myself for them to leave.” You admit, voice carrying across the table quietly.
“But I don’t feel like that right now. I just feel okay, everything is quiet for once.” You continued, a small smile curving over your expression.
Eddie didn’t interrupt, simply nodding as he set aside his mug, settling with the weight of your words. “I was afraid of that, that you’d wake up and feel overwhelmed, or regret it.” He admitted, matching the same level of vulnerability. “That maybe I pushed you too far, or moved too fast.”
“I didn’t regret anything.” You added on quickly, shaking your head at his words. “I wanted that last night. I wanted to share that special something with you.”
“I know, sweetheart.” He said gently. “But I didn’t want to be another person in your life that made you feel like you had to prepare for the worst. I don’t want to be that person, I want to be someone who stays.”
You swallowed slightly, his words lying heavily against your chest, leaving your entire body swelling with warmth. “You are. You are that person.” You whispered.
Eddie smiled brightly, staring over at you with an expression shimmering with affection as you shifted in your seat, sliding your chair closer toward his. Your hand found his on the table, gently lacing your fingers through his, thumb brushing across his scarred knuckles, catching the rigid metal of his rings.
“It still feels unreal,” Eddie said quietly, watching your fingers brush over his knuckles. “That you’re here, and that you trust me like this.”
“I didn’t think I could trust anyone like this again.” You admitted to him, lips faintly pursed together in thought.
He squeezed your hand slightly, calloused fingertips brushing over the top of your hand. “I’m really glad it was you,” Eddie said softly, his voice filled with emotion.
You felt your chest tighten, a thick wave of warmth spreading through your body, leaving you with the lingering fuzziness. “I’m really glad it was you, Eddie.”
The words lingered in the air, something simple but heavy with meaning. You both knew what you were saying without having to say more, that this wasn’t just something that happened, but instead, something you both willingly invited into your lives.
You sat there for a while after that, just talking about nothing and everything at the same time, talking about how strange it felt that nothing felt stranger, about how neither of you felt awkward or embarrassed after everything, and especially about how natural it felt to wake up beside each other.
The conversation drifted easily, like it always had, but there was something deeper written between the lines, a shared understanding that neither of you were pretending anymore, or hiding behind unspoken words.
At one point, Eddie leaned forward, thumb still idly brushing over your knuckles, the softness of your skin feeling comforting against his calloused fingers. “You know this means something, right?” He asked gently, cautiously.
“Yeah, I do.”
He searched your face for any hesitation, head tilting slightly as his lips pursed together before speaking. “And you’re okay with that?”
“I am, Eddie.” You answered quickly with sincerity because you were okay with things changing, and for once, none of that scared you.
Neither of you spoke right away after that, the quiet becoming something breathable shared between the two of you. It almost felt necessary, like your thoughts needed space to settle into something you could actually put into words without ruining the softness of the moment.
Your fingers were still laced between his on the table, thumb still tracing the metal of one of his rings without truly realizing what you were doing. The coffee in the ceramic mugs had gone lukewarm, nearly forgotten in the weight of the moment, and even the breakfast sat half-finished on the plates.
You were too aware of him, of the way he was looking at you with something tender in his expression. You lifted your eyes slowly, meeting his gaze, letting yourself share the moment of eye contact without backing away with anxiety whenever things felt too overwhelming in intimacy. For once, you didn’t want to cower away, you wanted to sit with it, to fully understand and feel the tenderness that came with something like this.
There was something new bubbling in your chest, something you didn’t have the words for yet. It wasn’t anxiety or fear, not even excitement. It was something closer to certainty that you finally had someone sitting in front of you that you weren’t afraid to let see you, and that realization made your throat tighten.
“I know we crossed a line last night.” You said quietly, swallowing down that swelling feeling in your throat.
Eddie’s expression didn’t change, his posture didn’t tense. He just sat there calmly, listening to every word with a thoughtful expression. “And I don’t mean that in a bad way, not at all.” You added quickly, voice still gentle. “I just, I know we can’t go back to how it was before. Not after waking up next to you and not feeling scared.”
Your eyes shifted down toward his hand, still tenderly intertwined with yours, thumb idly brushing over your knuckles. “There’s no pretending we’re just friends anymore.” You whispered that part, voice trembling with emotion.
Eddie nodded slowly, thumb brushing lightly against your hand in soothing motions. “Yeah, I know, sweetheart.” He said softly.
You exhaled a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in, chest lightening at the comforting sound of his voice. “And that should probably terrify me in some way.” You admitted, a faint, disbelieving smile touching your lips. “Because every time something changed like this, where some got close like this, it ended with me feeling I was too and not enough at the same time, or left.” You said in one breath, voice refusing to crack, but it softened around the edges.
Eddie didn’t interrupt, or try to reassure you or validate all the emotions stirring through you. He just silently listened, letting you say what’s been sitting on your chest for so long, because he knew this mattered, he knew this was something you had to say.
“I keep waiting for the panic to hit, for my brain to start telling me that I made a mistake by letting someone in too far again.” You admitted, exhaling heavily as if the words were weighing you down. “But it hasn’t, it’s just calm for once.”
You looked up at him this time, something fragile in your expression, though it wasn’t weakness, it was comfort in being vulnerable. “Seeing you yesterday afternoon, seeing that version of you, it made me feel things I didn’t think I was capable of feeling again.”
“Not just physically, but emotionally.” You quickly clarified, eyes refusing to look away from him. “The way you looked at me, the way you kept making sure I was okay. The way you let me choose every step made me realize that I wanted to be there with you. I wanted that closeness with you.” You whispered that last part, swallowing down the subtle nerves that bubbled up.
His fingers tightened around your hand, expression for just a moment, something close to affection and calmness brightening in his eyes. “I’ll always let you choose every step. I’ll never rush you into something like this, sweetheart.” Eddie repeated, the sincerity of his words hanging in the space between your bodies warmly.
“This morning, when I woke up, and saw you sleeping so peacefully.” You started, inhaling shakily as you paused, words getting caught in your throat with a bit of nerves. “I realized I don’t just like you, Eddie.” Your voice sounded shakier than before, feeling your heart beating loudly against your chest from the weight of what you were about to say.
Eddie went still for a moment, the shift in his posture evident, just pure attentiveness in his expression, waiting for you to continue.
“I want to be with you, Eddie.” You finally admitted, the weight of it being lifted from your shoulders. “Not just the version of you that jokes and makes me laugh. Not just the version that watches horror movies with me for hours and walks me home at night.”
“I want all of you, every version of you. The loud one, the quiet one, the one that overthinks, and especially the one that feels like he doesn’t belong anymore, because you belong somewhere with me.” You continued, lips curving into that nervous smile as your emotions carried through your voice, the shakiness hidden beneath that breathless huff of nervous laughter.
But, the shakiness in your voice didn’t stop you from continuing, even when the emotions swelled in your throat.
“And I want you to have all of me too, even the parts that are messy and scared. Even the parts that don’t always know how to handle being loved without worrying it’s going to disappear.”
The admission hung in the air between you, wrapped in something heavy with sincerity and vulnerability. You weren’t taking them back, or apologizing for the weight of them, you were simply offering them. Eddie’s expression softened in a way you’d never seen before, something almost overwhelmed in his expression, but in the gentlest way.
He leaned forward slightly in his chair, bringing your joined hands closer between you. “You have no idea how much it means to hear you say that, sweetheart.” He said quietly, almost disbelieving as he looked down at your intertwined hands.
“I’ve spent a lot of my life feeling like people only see parts of me, like my personality was dissected into tiny pieces and they already diced what piece described me the best without fully knowing.” Eddie continued, huffing out a humorless chuckle at the thought of it. “But you? You see all the pieces, and you still look at me like I don’t need to tone any of it down. You put together the messy puzzle of my personality and decided you wanted to be here despite it all.” He said quietly, thumb brushing over your knuckles again.
“Because I don’t want you to tone down any of it. I want you for you, every version. Messy or quiet.” You said gently, though the reassurance in your voice was firm.
“I know, and that’s why this feels different,” Eddie said, pausing for a moment as he tried to find the right words. “It doesn’t feel like I’m trying to impress you. I don’t feel like I’m trying to dim down into someone you’ll like. I just get to be me.”
You felt a little sting in your eyes, expression becoming glossy as your throat swelled with that familiar emotional ache, but you didn’t look away from him. “And I don’t feel like I have to hide parts of myself from you either. I get to be the unfiltered version of myself with you.” You admitted, and it was the truth.
You didn’t feel like you had to be something smaller around him, something quiet and less emotional, even more put-together. You just got to exist in the raw version of yourself without anything covering the messier parts, and he still stayed. “I know we can’t go back to before, and I don’t think I want to.” You said again, but this time there was a faint smile in your voice as you squeezed his hand gently.
Eddie looked down at your hand, smiling warmly at the sound of your words. “Yeah. I don’t either, sweetheart.”
The kitchen seemed to grow quiet after that, as the usual charged and unspoken feeling settled into something softer, like the air itself had finally exhaled after holding its breath for too long, letting everything process in a hushed tenderness. The morning sunlight still filtered through the thin curtains above the sink, the golden streaks settling into something warm and cozy as the world outside the trailer continued with its usual routine.
Though, inside the trailer, everything seemed to slow into something sacred. The two of you were still sitting at the small kitchen table, knees brushing beneath the surface, fingers still loosely intertwined between each other. The importance of everything that had been said still hovered, but it didn’t press down on your chest, it simply sat gently between the empty space, like it was something precious that needed to be handled with precise care.
You looked over at Eddie, expression softened and pupils dilated with affection when you noticed the messy and uneven strands of hair falling in front of his face, curls slightly flattened from hours of sleep. There was a certain softness in his expression that you hadn’t seen before last night, something unguarded and honest, something comforting enough to ease whatever insecurities threatened to bubble up.
After a moment, Eddie stood up, gathering the half-empty plates and setting them in the sink after tossing out the scraps. He turned toward you, offering his hand again, giving a silent gesture toward the couch, an invitation to move somewhere more comfortable.
You reached out for his hand, chair sliding back with a quiet scrape against the floor as you stood, letting him guide you into the small living room area. The blanket draped across the back cushion was still rustled after sitting there yesterday evening, making a small wave of warmth flutter through your chest as you settled beside him, cushions dipping underneath the weight of your bodies.
Eddie’s arm lifted automatically when you curled beside him, draping an arm around your shoulder as your head pressed just beneath his collarbone. His hand hovered near your arm, finger tracing patterns along your skin, circular traces meant for comfort, just enough to feel the warmth against his fingertips through the fabric of your shirt.
Without thinking, your hand drifted downwards and slipped beneath the hem of his t-shirt, fingers pressing against the soft skin of his stomach before drawing patterns along his abdomen, a low huff slipping through his lips at the sensation, body tensing for a moment before relaxing against the mindless touch. His arm tightened around you in response, almost like he understood exactly what the unconscious gesture meant.
“I’m here, sweetheart.” Eddie whispered, lips pressing a tender kiss against the top of your head, the smell of his cologne lingering through the scent of your floral shampoo, making his heart race a little faster as he smiled against you.
You shifted slightly, pressing closer without meaning to, your cheek turning and resting directly against his chest. “I know, I don’t want you to be anywhere else.” You responded quietly, catching a glimpse of his hand sliding from your arm down to your waist, holding you against his chest securely. There was a brief pause of silence, something considerate flashing in your expression as you spoke up again. “I don’t feel alone anymore. I don’t think I have for a while now.” You said softly, your voice coming out fragile and honest.
Eddie didn’t move for a moment after that, the idle traces of his fingers stilled against your waist, chin lifting slightly as if he needed to look at you directly to understand the exact weight of what you just whispered. His breath hitched for a second, heartbeat pausing before returning to that slightly faster speed as something tender spread through his chest.
“You’re not alone. You never were.” He said quietly, hand sliding from your waist and up to your shoulder, giving you a comforting squeeze. “You don’t ever have to feel alone again, I’m here, and I won’t be going anywhere.” He added on, his voice thick with certainty.
When you shifted to look up at him, his eyes were already on you, full of that softened adoration, something that made your chest ache all over again with those tender emotions. You exhaled quietly, a small smile pulling at your expression, letting his reassurance settle through you comfortably.
“I know, I trust you, I trust us.” You replied, words softened with the sincerity of your voice.
The motion of his thumb stilled for a minute, gently pulling you even closer before returning to the slow brushing motion over your shoulder, moving in a steady rhythm that felt soothing and grounding all at once. Neither of you needed to say anything else after that, silently enjoying the coziness of each other’s presence, the need for words turning into the delicate need for closeness and tender, absentminded touches.
No expectations or fear were hanging in the air, nothing weighing down at the comfortable silence, just the undeniable understanding that something had changed between you, something neither of you wanted to walk away from, and for the first time in a very long time, the silence didn’t feel empty.
It felt full, full of warmth and the steadiness of something real, of something that felt grounding enough to make you believe and trust that it wasn’t going to slip through your fingers the moment you relaxed. It was something full of frailty that made it through the months of isolation and forced strength, finally finding its moment to break away from the built-up armor to enjoy the intimacy of shared affection without believing it would break.
a/n: i apologize again for the long wait, as stated in a recent update post i’ve been struggling with my healthy along with my mental health. i appreciate you all being kind and understanding <3
• not entirely edited or proofread :/
taglist: @snowgirlieee @horrorqueen02 @qw-something @d3ad2you @sunshine751 @sodavrr @leclercdream @nes1309 @f-remastered @grannysmithsgreenapple @qardasngan @b1u3c10ud @lonelywriter-1 @sweetesttriz @oceansstone @carbonnite-copy @celestialmonkii
• if you would like to be added or removed from the taglist, please comment.
The Velvet Halo
Summary: Sure, burlesque wasn’t as popular in the 90s anymore, but they never stopped you from doing something you were passionate about. You traveled between Las Vegas Los Angeles, performing at many high end burlesque club, used to the crowd of business men and socialites — but you were never used to have a group of rockstars in the crowd watching you.
Pairing: Rockstar Eddie Munson & Burlesque Dancer Reader
Tags: Mature Themes, Mutual Pinning, Smut, Sexual Themes, Burlesque Dancing, Tension, Flirting, Pet-Names (Baby & Sweetheart), Dressing Room Sex, Protected Vaginal Sex, Creampie, Praising, Slight Body Worshipping, Oral Sex, Fingering, Finger-Sucking, Doggy-Style, Hair-Pulling, Slight Choking, — Both are consenting adults that know what they want.
Word Count: 8.1k
A/N: The reader is called ‘Lettie’ because her stage name is Scarlet soo Lettie is just a nickname given to her :)
S.T Masterlist
Los Angeles hums with bright, lively energy. Neon signs buzzing above liquor stores and tattoo parlors, leaving Sunset Boulevard glowing in electric pink and poisonous green fluorescents. At the same time, the scent of cigarette smoke, hairspray, and ambition lingers heavily within the air, leaving the city on the verge of something breaking or becoming something.
You pressed your head against the cool taxi window, watching as it passed through the city, palm trees blurring past in streaks of beige and shadows across the asphalt. Back in Las Vegas, the lights are manufactured fantasy, carrying addictive ambition and egotistical pride, but here, everything feels hungry, like people are chasing something that can make or break them.
Just like you are.
The garment bag lies across your lap, holding the burgundy costume, the one that always makes the room go quiet before gasps of appreciation fill the silence. It carries the satin corset, with black lace detailing that traces along the curve like whispered secrets, paired with matching lace garter straps and sheer stockings, and a red feathered fan that’s been deemed your signature item.
You’ve been invited to perform for a week at some burlesque club tucked between an old bar and a tattoo parlor on the Strip. Here in Los Angeles, burlesque clubs were the most popular places. The popular scene was anything involving rock n’ roll or metal music, crowding whatever bar was playing guitar solos loud enough that it felt like lightning strikes rumbling through your skin.
Still, you have your audience. You always do, but you didn’t know that your audience tonight would include a certain rockstar who stared at you like something serenely divine.
The club is smaller than most of the lounges back in Vegas, but it has character with its deep crimson walls, decorated with golden-framed mirrors and round tables lit by low lamps that cast everything in a sinful glow. The stage is circular and intimate, close enough that you can see the exact moment desire flickers behind someone’s eyes.
Backstage smells like powder, perfume, and nerves.
You sit in front of the mirror, bulbs framing your reflection in warm light as you lace yourself into the corset, tugging the strings tighter until your waist cinches and breathing turns shallow in the way that makes your posture appear perfect. You smooth the black lace over your hips, adjusting the stockings and fastening the garters wrapped around your thighs.
When you look in the mirror, you feel transformed, though not in the way that brings exposure or vulnerability, but something that invites the power of being able to command a room without speaking a single demand.
Out in the main room, the crowd is beginning with a lively atmosphere after another venue down the street celebrated some non-local metal band that just went platinum. The entire city has been buzzing about them, magazines filled with their photos, music blasting on nearly every radio in each car that passes by. The DJ mentioned their name earlier when you arrived, while majority of the girls grinned with excitement as they whispered about the band.
But you didn’t catch it, you were too focused on the stage.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Down the street, the crowded bar is vibrating with the post-celebration adrenaline. Eddie settles into the chair, head tilted back as he laughs loudly at something one of his bandmates said. He looks different from the way he did all those years ago in Hawkins, the curls are longer now, wild and untamed past his shoulders. There are rings on nearly every finger now, and even a sleeve of tattoos peeking out from under the sleeve of his skirt.
The newfound frame sits on him strangely, though it’s not arrogant or obnoxious. Instead, it sits on him like a jacket that he was never meant to put on, but somehow fits anyway.
“C’mon, man.” Gareth insists, clapping him on the shoulder. “We just went platinum. We deserve something better than sticky floors and watered-down beer.”
“I heard there’s this burlesque place a few doors down. Apparently, some new dancer is performing tonight.” Jeff adds on, grinning in amusement as he stares between the two of them.
“A burlesque place?” Eddie questions, raising an eyebrow. “What is this, 1940?”
“Maybe it’s better than a strip club,” Gareth jokes, nudging Eddie playfully, clearly egging on Jeff’s suggestion. “Classier, ya know. Tits with jazz.”
“Dude, you’re an idiot.” Eddie chuckles, shaking his head at their behavior.
But he goes anyway, telling himself that it’s for the guys, for the celebration, and the story that they’ll laugh at later because he doesn't really expect anything worthwhile.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
The house lights dim, and a sultry melody plays through the speakers, something slow and teasing, with a pulsing rhythm beneath. You step onto the stage surrounded in darkness until the spotlight hits, pulling everyone’s attention onto you.
You don’t rush the performance, letting one heel slowly click against the floor as you take your place at the center of the stage. The red satin gleams beneath the lighting, black lace casting delicate shadows against the curve of your skin. You lift your shin, the feathered fan brushing against your thigh as the room forms around you.
Eddie leans back in his chair, one arm lazily slung over the backrest, smirking faintly as if he’s preparing to be anything but impressed, until you start moving, and he realizes this isn’t what he expected.
There’s no desperation in your movements, or any frantic stripping. Every motion is deliberate and controlled, as the feathered fan brushes against your skin, shoulders slowly rolling with the rhythm of the music, back arching subtly enough to draw attention without begging for it, because you aren’t performing for them.
You’re simply gracing them with your presence.
His smirk fades as the music slides deeper, bass thrumming intimately against the speakers. You glide across the stage, heels clicking against the floor with precision as the fan snaps open in a burst of red, hiding half your body. You peek over the top of it, eyes scanning the crowd with a lazy, yet predatory expression.
Your gaze passes over businessmen, tourists, and men who are already leaning forward, practically drooling at the sight of you. It’s all expected, until your attention catches a pair of brown eyes and silver rings that glowed in the warm light. He wasn’t shouting like the others, or whistling loudly; he was just watching, eyes following your every movement like you were something holy.
The intensity of it makes your breath hitch, something barely noticeable to the crowd, but you feel it resting uncomfortably against your chest. You turn away first, focusing on the performance, hiding the spike of interest, because control was everything right now.
Eddie doesn’t even realize he’s leaning forward until Gareth elbows him, staring at him with a knowing expression before smirking. “Dude, you’re staring.” Gareth adds.
But, Eddie doesn’t answer.
You circle the stage slowly, dragging the edge of the feather fan down your arm, across your collarbone, and between the curve of your breasts, before stopping between your legs and flashing the crowd that signature taunting expression. The movement is teasing, something suggestive enough to let their thoughts race without giving anything away.
When you turn your back to the audience, you glance over your shoulder, staring directly at him. His fingers tighten around his drink, jaw clenching slightly because he’s seen girls backstage at shows, even groupies trying desperately to find some proximity to fame, but there wasn’t any hunger in your expression, just a silent challenge.
You begin unlacing the gloves from your hands, slowly peeling one finger free at a time. Each movement is perfectly timed with the music’s pulse, and when you finally toss the glove into the crowd, someone eagerly lunges for it.
You don’t look at anyone else in the audience, keeping your eyes focused on him, this time refusing to look away from the undivided attention. The attention almost feels dangerous, silent and devoted, because he isn’t reacting the same way everyone else is.
He’s studying you, like he’s trying to understand something.
Eddie feels like he’s being pulled somewhere he didn’t mean to go, falling underneath some spell that left him enchanted with each elegant shift of your hips, and when you step toward the edge of the stage that was closest to his table, the air suddenly feels thinner with tension.
You kneel gracefully, bringing yourself closer to his level, the spotlight following you every move as the fan brushes beneath his chin, smiling proudly at the sudden hitch in his breathing. Up close, you can see the faint scar on his brow and the way his lashes cast shadows against sharp cheekbones. There’s something boyish there beneath the rockstar exterior, something honest.
You lean in, not enough to touch, but close enough that he can feel the warmth radiating off your body, and the gourmand smell of your perfume. “Enjoying the show, darling?” You whisper, just loud enough for his ears only.
“Yeah,” Eddie murmurs, voice rougher than he expected. “Yeah, I am.”
You pull away first, standing in one fluid motion, the fan flaring widely as you move back toward center stage. Your posture straightens, fingers slowly tracking up the sheer stocking, watching the crowd with that condensing pout as you slowly tug at the lace wrapping around your thighs. The crowd reacts audibly, people whistling loudly while some clapped in appreciation, but none of that was the reason for your racing heartbeat.
It’s racing because for the first time in a long time, someone looked at you like that.
Not like a body, but like a force.
By the time your performance ends with a dramatic flourish of feathers and a perfectly timed blackout, the entire room erupts with applause, whistles, and the scrape of chairs as men stood up. You bowed gracefully, listening to the sound of applause for a moment before rising, eyes catching his one last time.
But, he isn’t cheering loudly like the others. He’s on his feet too, smiling calmly like he just discovered something that he didn’t know he needed.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
You exhale heavily once you're backstage, adrenaline shaking through you, making your fingers tremble slightly as you set down the fan. The sound of chatter fills the silence, their laughter drifting in through the closed door of your dressing room, but your mind is drifting somewhere else.
The sound of knocking quickly snaps you away from your thoughts, looking over the door as the club’s manager pokes her head in. “You’ve got some visitors, Lettie.” She says with a knowing smirk.
“Plural?” You hum, arching a brow.
“Band guys. The platinum ones. They asked if you’d say hi.” She explains, expression dull, like this was something obvious.
You hesitate for a moment, because you’ve met musicians before and most of them think the world owes them something, but you agree. “Alright, just give me a minute.” You say softly.
Once the door closes, you don’t bother changing out of the corset, just reapplying your lipstick.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Eddie almost doesn’t go backstage, because the thought feels stupid, almost juvenile, like being seventeen again and working up the nerve to talk to a girl after a show.
“Dude, you were practically drooling.” Jeff teases.
“I was not.” Eddie snaps automatically, glancing at Jeff with an unamused expression.
“You so were.” Gareth grins tauntingly.
Eddie ignores them, telling himself that he just wants to complement your performance, from one artist to another, just simple respect for artistry and nothing more than that, but his pulse doesn’t agree with him.
When you step into the little lounge backstage, their conversation dies instantly, because you look even more unreal close up. The red satin of your corset catches the low lighting, hugging your figure perfectly as your hair cascades over your shoulder, lipstick still painted on perfectly despite the heat of the stage lights.
Your gaze lands on Eddie first, something knowing simmering beneath your expression. “Well, to what do I owe the pleasure?” You ask smoothly, voice dripping like velvety smoke.
Gareth starts to speak, but Eddie quickly cuts him off. “We just wanted to say, you were incredible out there.” He says in admiration.
You study him carefully, a subtle smile curving over your lips. “Just incredible?” You tease lightly.
He huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “No. That’s not the word.” His eyes drop briefly to the lace at your waist, then return to your face. “You were mesmerizing.”
“Mesmerizing?” You repeat softly, something in your chest tightening as you step closer.
“Yeah.”
The space between you narrows, not touching, but close enough that you can feel the heat radiating from him. “You don’t seem like this is your usual scene.” You point out.
“It wasn’t until about five minutes in.” He admits.
“And now?” You question, smile deepening slightly.
“Now I don’t think I’ll ever look at a stage the same way again.” Eddie says with no hesitation
The air shifts, thickening with something unreadable as your fingers lift, brushing lightly across the silver rings on his hand, the contact brief, but electric. “So, you’re the band everyone’s talking about.” You ask quietly.
“Guess so.” Eddie shrugs, smirking proudly.
“Platinum album, and you still look at me like that.” You add, almost in disbelief, as you look over his expression.
“Like what?” He asks, brows furrowing together in amused confusion.
“Like I’m the one on top of the world.”
“Maybe you are.” Eddie says softly.
The words land somewhere deep because you’ve been desired before, you’ve been admitted before, but this feels different, and now your pulse is pounding against your chest.
“You’re in town long?” He asks.
“A week.”
“That’s convenient.”
“For who?”
“For me.”
You laugh, soft and genuine, but the conversation is cut short when someone down the hallway calls your name. You glance toward the sound, then back at him. “Walk me out? After I change.” You ask lightly.
“Yeah.” He answers immediately.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Standing underneath the neon glow of The Velvet Halo’s sign, the night starts to feel warmer as the rest of the band drifts ahead, giving space without commenting on it. You stand close to him on the sidewalk, red replaced by something comfortable and loose, but the memory of the feathers lingers between you.
The city continues around you, cars passing as music spills faintly from nearby clubs, but his attention remains on you.“You always command a room like that?” He asks.
“You always watch like you’re trying to worship something?” You counter, tilting your head slightly with an amused smirk.
“Maybe.” Eddie says, a breathless laugh slipping past his lips.
You step closer, close enough that your chest nearly brushes his. “If I asked you to come see me again tomorrow, would you?” You ask quietly.
“Yeah. I would.” He says without any hesitation.
“And if I asked you to meet me somewhere quieter after?”
His breath catches, but he nods. “I would, whatever you asked.”
“You sound very sure.” You point out, fingers sliding across the zipper of his jacket.
“I am.”
You study him one last time, then you lean in slowly and deliberately pressing a soft, lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth. It wasn’t directly pressed against his lips, but the touch was just enough to seem like a promise instead of something innocent, and when you pulled back, his eyes darkened.
“Tomorrow, rockstar.” You whisper, then step away, heels clicking against pavement as you disappear into the Los Angeles night.
Behind you, Eddie Munson stands beneath the neon glow, heart pounding like a drum solo, already knowing that platinum records and screaming crowds have never felt as intoxicating as the way you looked at him under a single spotlight.
And tomorrow?
Tomorrow, he’ll be back in the front row.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
The second night feels different before you even step through the doors of the club, because Los Angeles is louder tonight. After all, the word has spread about the platinum band celebrating on the Strip and about the burlesque dancer in red who made half the room forget how to breathe.
Inside, the air is thick as anticipation hums beneath the chatter like feedback before a guitar solo. You sit at your vanity backstage, staring at your reflection. The bulbs framing the mirror glow warmly, but your skin feels cool as you press your fingertips lightly against your throat, feeling your heartbeat there.
He’ll be here, this time it won’t be accidentally or dragged in by his bandmates. He’ll be here because you asked him to be, and that changes everything, because you’ve commanded rooms before. You’ve performed for businessmen, tourists, lonely husbands, and even curious couples. You know how to seduce a crowd and own the spotlight, but tonight, this isn’t about the crowd.
The black corset is sharper than the red one, sleeker and tighter. The lace detailing trails like delicate spiderwebs across your ribs and hips, and the neckline plunges deeper, edged with intricate black beading that catches and fractures the glow of the stage lights. The stockings are sheer, smoky, and your heels lacquered black, tall and lethal, with daggers designed onto the stiletto.
Your hair has been styled into structured curls, glossy and dramatic, framing your face in vintage glamour. Your lips are painted a deeper crimson than last night, borderline deep wine, and your eyes are darker too, heavily lined, shadowed in charcoal and plum.
It all looks almost vampiric, predatory and intentional.
When you stand, the transformation feels complete, and you look like something that belongs to midnight. The club manager knocks before peeking inside. “Hey, Lettie. Packed house tonight, people heard about last night.”
You glance over at him, a small smile curving over your lips. “I guess I left a good impression.”
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Out front, Eddie Munson sits closer to the stage than he ever has in his life. He told himself he’d play it cool tonight, that he wouldn’t act like some lovesick idiot, but he failed the moment he walked in. The place was overflowing with filled tables and bodies standing along the walls, the entire club carrying an edge in the air, like everyone senses something is about to happen.
Gareth leans toward him, smirking. “She requested we come again, huh?”
Eddie doesn’t answer because he hasn’t stopped thinking about the way you kissed the corner of his mouth, and the way your fingers traced the rings on his hand like they meant something. He told himself it was flirtation, just some performance bleeding into real life, but when he laid awake in his hotel room, staring at the ceiling, it didn’t feel like a performance.
It felt personal.
The lights dim, and the chatter lowers into a murmur, then an opening guitar riff tears through the speakers. His head snaps up immediately because he knows that riff, he wrote that guitar riff. It’s raw and heavy, the opening of Corroded Coffin’s newest single, the same one that’s climbing charts across the country.
The bass thrums deep, the drums sharp and insistent, and for a moment, the entire room is confused, then the spotlight ignites, and you step into it. The moment Eddie sees you, dressed in black like a goddess of something divine, he nearly forgets how to breathe.
You don’t move right away, letting the music fill the space, letting the crowd realize what they’re hearing, watching the ripple of recognition when people realize what exactly they’re listening to. Your eyes find him in the crowd, a small, barely noticeable smile curving over your lips as you slowly begin swaying your hips to the rhythm of his own music.
The heavy guitar becomes something sensual in your hands, and Eddie feels like he’s watching something heavenly. His song was written in a cramped rehearsal space, sweat and frustration and adrenaline. It was meant to be loud and rebellious, but now it’s transformed into something dangerous.
Your movements aren’t frantic, they’re deliberate. You turn your back to the crowd, glancing over your shoulder at him as the chorus hits, hips rolling precisely as each motion is synced perfectly with the drums.
The room fades, leaving only you and him as you trace the feathered fan along the soft curve of your breast, flashing a seductive smile as the spotlight trickles over your figure, earning a collective murmur from the audience, but you aren’t looking at them, you’re looking at the man whose lyrics are spilling through the speakers.
Eddie’s pulse hammers in his ears as he recognizes his own voice layered into the track, rough and commanding, watching you move to it changes everything. It feels intimate, almost sacred now.
You step down from the stage, gasps echoing through the club because burlesque isn’t meant to break the fourth wall so boldly, but you do.
You move between tables like a shadow, heels clicking softly and fingertips trailing across tabletops as shadows of your lashes fall against your cheeks whenever you lower your gaze.
Then you stop, directly in front of him.
You place one knee on the edge of his table, leaning forward slightly. The black satin outfit glistens in the lighting, letting the lace of your stockings brush against his thigh as your hand finds his shoulder, resting there comfortably.
The contact is electrifying as he stares up at you like you’re something otherworldly. You lean down, lips hovering near his ear. “You recognize it?” You murmur, your voice barely audible beneath the music.
His throat moves when he swallows. “Yeah, I recognize it, sweetheart.” Eddie breathes out.
“Good, enjoy it.”
You straighten slowly, dragging your fingers from his shoulder down to his hand, and hooking one of his rings gently with your fingertip before releasing him. The crowd watches, but they feel distant because this is strictly a conversation between you and him.
You return to the stage as the final chorus builds. This time, your movements are sharper, more intense. You arch back dramatically, hands sliding through your hair as the drums crash. The corset laces loosen slightly at your motion, revealing more, but never everything.
You spin, black lace flaring, curls bouncing with the motion as the song ends with a thunderous finish, freezing in that final performance pose, chest rising and falling heavily with anticipation.
There’s a pause of silence, then the room explodes with applause and whistles, but you’re only watching one reaction. Eddie is on his feet, just staring at you with something that borders on awe.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
The backstage area feels smaller tonight as you close the dressing room door behind you, leaning against it for a moment and exhaling shakily, because tonight’s performance didn’t feel like just a performance.
A soft knock comes a few minutes later, and you already know who it is. When you open the door, he’s standing there alone this time, looking dazed and slightly disheveled.
“You used our song,” Eddie says, his voice low.
“Did you mind?” You ask, tilting your head slightly.
He steps inside without thinking, the door clicking shut behind him. “Do I mind? You turned it into something else.”
“I wanted to.” You whisper, closing the distance even more.
“Why?”
“Because you were watching.”
The honesty hangs between you, thick and heavy. Eddie studies your face like he’s searching for insincerity, and when he doesn’t find any, he speaks again. “You have any idea what that did to me?” He asks quietly.
“What did it do?” You ask, feeling your pulse quicken beneath your skin.
His hand lifts, hesitating for a second before settling lightly at your waist. “It made it feel like that song wasn’t mine anymore. It felt like yours.” He admits.
“Maybe it is now.” You whisper, heat blooming between your legs.
His thumb shifts slightly against the lace at your hip, the contact sends a spark through you. “You were incredible out there, sweetheart.” Eddie whispers.
“So were you.”
“I wasn’t even on stage.”
“You didn’t have to be.”
Silence falls again, but this time it’s charged and heavy with everything neither of you have said. Your hand lifts, fingers brushing against his jaw lightly, almost testing for his response. When he leans into it instinctively, the movement steals your breath.
“You’re not like the others.” You say softly.
He huffs a quiet laugh, glancing away for a brief second. “Yeah, I’ve heard that my whole life.”
“I mean it differently.”
“Then tell me how.”
Your heart pounds as you step closer, bodies nearly touching. “You look at me like I’m more than what I’m wearing.”
His hand tightens slightly at your waist, but it’s not possessive. “You are, sweetheart.” Eddie says immediately and the certainty in his voice makes your chest ache.
For a moment, neither of you moves, then he does, and his other hand comes up slowly, brushing a curl away from your cheek. His fingers slide lightly into your hair, not ruining the style, just holding you there.
“You keep doing that,” Eddie murmurs.
“Doing what?”
“Making it impossible to look anywhere else.”
“Maybe I don’t want you to.”
And, that was all it took for the space between you to disappear.
The kiss is slow at first, testing and warm. His lips are moving against yours like he’s memorizing the shape of them. Your fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer as heat spreads through you like wildfire.
His hand slides from your waist, the heaviness of his palm resting against the stretch of your back, keeping you pressed firmly against him. He pulls back just enough to look at you. “Tell me to stop, and I will.” Eddie says quietly.
“I don’t want you to stop.”
“Whatever you want, angel.” Eddie whispers against your lips, kissing you with more certainty as your hands slide over the leather covering his chest.
His lips trail from your mouth to the stretch of your jawline, leaving warm kisses against your soft skin until the lace of your corset brushes against his chin. Your head tilts back slightly, eyebrows furrowed as you stare at the ceiling, pulse hammering through your body at his touch.
“Eddie, I need you.”
The way you whisper his name makes him shudder, feeling the heat of the moment rush straight to his cock. “In here? You sure?” He asked, pulling back just enough to look at you, eyes searching your face for any hesitation as his hands snaked around your back.
You nodded briefly, leaning closer just enough to press your lips against his jawline. “I’m sure,” You whispered against his skin, hands pushing off the leather jacket covering his shoulders. “Right here, I don’t care about the others. I just need you.”
His eyes widened for a moment before a smirk spread across his face, fingers wrapping around the silk ribbon that kept your corset tied. “Yeah, sweetheart?” Eddie raised an eyebrow, one hand wrapped around your waist as he guided you in front of the mirror.
Eddie stood behind you, hands trailing along the structure of your corset, watching as your pupils dilated from the reflection of the mirror. “Can I take this off, angel?” He asked, fingers looping around the silk ribbons keeping the corset laced together.
You looked at Eddie through the reflection of the mirror, his eyes darkened by something similar to lust. You nodded lightly, swiping your hair over your shoulders to reveal the ribbon work along the spine of the corset. “You can take it off, Eddie.” You said, voice carrying a breathless plea.
His fingers slowly work at the silk ribbons, feeling himself shuddering at the cold material against his skin, something to ease the reverent heat blistering through him. The spine of the corset carefully undid itself as the ribbons came apart, revealing the soft skin of your back. Eddie looked up in the mirror, noticing how your hands pressed against the chest of the corset, keeping it from revealing your bare breast.
“Don’t hide from me, sweetheart.” Eddie whispered, his voice carrying a low raspy that made you whimper in his response. “Let me see how beautiful you are, please.” He pleaded, his warm breath trickled across your shoulder blades as he pressed soft kisses against your skin, humming in satisfaction whenever your back arched.
You exhaled shakily, eyes closing for a brief second at the warm sensation of his lips against your skin, addicted to the way his fingers curled around your bare waist as he held you close. The corset slowly lifted itself from your chest as you removed your hands, allowing the black fabric to slip off your body.
His eyes darkened as the corset gathered on the floor, inhaling sharply as the warm light laid flawlessly over your skin. “There she is,” Eddie whispered huskily, allowing his hands to glide across the delicate curve of your waist, the cold metal of his rings igniting your body with a blistering desire for closeness. “Look at you, angel. Absolutely gorgeous, fucking breathtaking.” He complimented, voice dripping with allure.
Eddie’s hands glided along your skin, soaking up the pulsing warmth that radiated off you, memorizing how your goosebump-covered skin felt beneath his fingertips. His hand reached around your stomach, laying possessively over your abdomen as the other trailed toward the stretch of your neck. “Look at yourself, sweet girl.” He whispered in your ear as his palm rested over your throat. “You look like you were made for me.”
You whined softly, feeling his fingers pushing against the pulse points of your neck, the pressure making your mind dizzy with hormones. You lazily tried to glance at him, eyes dusted over with lust as your chest continued to rise heavily, practically begging him for more. “Please, god, I can’t take it anymore.” Your voice sounded airy with desperation, hips subconsciously rolling against him for friction.
His hand tightened around your throat, inhaling sharply at the feeling of your ass pressing against his aching bulge, cock straining against the denim jeans he wore. “Yeah? You want more, sweetheart?” Eddie asked quietly, voice trickling down your spine with that sultry tone as his hand slowly trailed down your body, fingertips dipping beneath the waistband of your lower garments.
Eddie chuckled as you eagerly nodded, wiggling your hips gently as he tugged down the lace underwear. You carefully stepped out of the fabric, leaving you in nothing but the stockings and garters that wrapped around your plush thighs, the mouth-watering sight making him groan lowly in appreciation. His hand found your waist, guiding your body to face forward, pulling your attention away from the mirror as he lowered himself onto the ground.
“Place your leg on my shoulder, sweetheart.” He instructed, calloused palm reaching for your thigh, giving you an encouraging nod before lifting your leg upwards, revealing the sweetness buried between your thighs. “Lean against the desk, if you need to. Want you just like this.” He mumbled huskily, lips pressing soft kisses against your clothed ankle, trailing along your calf before reaching your inner thigh.
Your fingers tangled between the strands of his messy hair, gently tugging his face forward as his nose brushed against your clit, the friction sending ripples of pleasure through your body. Eddie hummed at the subtle eagerness, tongue swiping across the wetness of your folds, licking up the honeyed taste of your arousal as it left his chin glistening.
“Fuck, baby. You taste so good.” He mumbled, eyes half-lidded, completely drunk of the taste of your cunt seeping onto his tongue. His hands trailed along your body, gripping the plush curve of your ass, pushing your body closer until your leg wrapped around his neck, letting his hands rest along your waist to keep you steady.
His tongue lapped across your puffy cunt, curling slightly to gather the sticky liquid that seeped from your body, groaning in satisfaction at the feeling of your thighs trembling around his face. Your body was pressed against the desk, fingers roughly gripping at his hair, while the other hand tightly held onto the edge of the table behind you. The sound of delicate moans slipped past the part between your lips, tongue rolling over the dryness as you looked down at Eddie, his eyes darkened with lust and hunger as he continued to devour you.
His cock practically ached against his jeans at the sound of your honeyed moans, feeling pre-cum spilling onto his boxers at the incoherent mumbles that left your mouth as his tongue flattened against your clit, applying sudden pressure to the sensitive bud. The sound of squelching wetness filled the dressing-room, echoing off the walls as the point of his tongue pressed into your hole, leaving your body squirming against his grasp.
Eddie groaned heavily, forcing himself away from your cunt, chin glistening with arousal. “Up on the table for me, sweetheart.” He instructed, giving your waist a gentle squeeze before pulling away, watching yourself hoist yourself onto the desk. His hands reached for your thighs, spreading them apart and draping them over his shoulders, leaving your cunt exposed.
He looked up at you, eyes darkened with that predatory gaze, watching your expression furrow as he sucked on his fingers, coating them with his saliva before swiping them between your folds. Eddie slowly pushed his fingers inside you, feeling the warmth of your cunt fluttering around him, exhaling heavily at the sound of your wispy moans.
Your head tilted backward, leaning against the mirror as your eyes fluttered shut at the sensation of his fingers pushing inside you, curling against the sensation spot that made arousal gush onto his hand. You moaned loudly, the music from the current performance keeping the sinful noises wrapped in the privacy of your dressing-room as he continued to push his fingers into your seeping cunt.
Eddie groaned lowly, a lazy smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth, completely enamored with the dazed expression that melted over your face as the pleasure of his fingers rippled through your body. He moved forward, tongue lapping around your clit, sucking on the sensitive bud as a clear liquid squirted onto his hand, squelching noises filling the room as he moved his fingers faster.
“Oh, fuck, sweetheart. Look at you, making such a mess already.” He murmured, voice muffled against your skin as he pulled away, playfully nipping at your thigh, leaving bite marks across the supple skin as if he were claiming you entirely.
You felt a surge of embarrassment blistering against your skin as the pressure tightened in your abdomen, adding to the mess that left his fingers coated with your slick. You shifted slightly, glancing down at Eddie, strands of hair clinging to his forehead as he looked up at you, smirking against your thigh before his tongue swiped over your clit.
He groaned loudly, eyes practically rolling backwards as his lips reattached to your cunt, the overly sweetened taste melting across his tongue as your thighs trembled around him. His tongue sloppily glided across your folds, pushing his fingers with the same rhythm as his tongue, feeling your cunt fluttering around his fingers, hinting at the overwhelming pleasure that bubbled in your core.
His hand glided across your thighs, forcefully spreading them apart, fingertips gently digging into the soft skin. “Keep ‘em open, angel. Just let it out, make a mess for me.” Eddie said, voice sounding muffled from his position between your legs, letting his grip tighten as he held you firmly against the vanity.
Eddie completely ignored the way your thighs trembled and ached to squeeze shut. “C’mon, sweetheart. Stop holding back, show me how good it feels.” He hummed, staring up at you with a darkened gaze as his fingers curled slightly, repeatedly pushing against the sensitive hilt buried inside you.
You moaned loudly, a blissful wave washing through your senses as your orgasm racked through your body, leaving your jaw slack as spews of incoherent noises spilled through. Your back arched away from the vanity mirror, thighs trembling around his face as the creamy substance of your release coated his fingers.
Eddie watched closely, eyes trailing over the sight of your convulsing body, arousal leaving his chin drenched and glistening. “Good girl, baby. Such a messy little thing.” He said, voice laced with intimacy as he slowly pulled out his fingers.
A sweet whine slipped through your parted lips, laced with disappointment from the sudden lack of warmth. You looked down at Eddie, expression still painted with haziness as you slowly came down from the orgasm, barely processing the movement as he lifted himself from the kneeling position between your legs.
“Open your mouth for me, sweetheart.” Eddie instructed gently, tapping his cum-coated fingers against your lips.
Without hesitation, you opened your mouth, moaning softly as his fingers pressed down on your tongue, the taste of your release filtering through your tastebuds. You glanced up at him, eyes covered in a lustful haze, tongue swirling around his fingers, savoring the taste on his skin.
Eddie inhaled sharply at the sight in front of him, feeling his cock against his jeans as your tongue glided across his fingertips. “Fuck, you’re something else, sweetheart.” He muttered quietly, pulling out his fingers with a subtle pop. “Bend over the desk for me.” He whispered, hands reaching for your waist as he lifted you off the tabletop.
Just as instructed, you shifted positions, nerves bubbling beneath your skin as you stared at your reflection in the mirror, catching his admiring expression as his hands glided across your waist before gently pressing your forward until your back arched naturally. The cold surface of the vanity pressed against your bare chest, stifling a quiet gasp, mixed with surprise and anticipation as the sound of his zipper caught your ears.
You glanced into the mirror, watching as he tugged down his jeans, the heaviness of his cock slapping against the lower skin of his stomach as he pushed down his boxers. Eddie stepped behind you, his hand gliding across the stretch of your back, gently nudging your legs further apart with his feet, lifting one of your legs, and placing it on the edge of the vanity.
“Just like that, sweetheart, look so beautiful like this.” He hummed in approval, hand kneading the soft flesh of your ass before spreading you further, cock sliding along the stickiness of your folds.
Eddie choked back a hiss of pleasure, expression sneering slightly as his cock twitched against your pussy, practically aching to be wrapped around the sweet warmth that oozed from your cunt. “You’re perfect, angel. So fucking warm and sweet for me.” He praised, tone dripping with intimacy as he slowly pressed the head of his cock inside you.
The stretch of his cock sent your jaw hanging slack, staring at the reflection in the mirror as his hand reached for your lifted thigh, holding you firmly in place as his cock bottomed out inside you, pulsing against the tightness of your cunt sucking him in. You inhaled shakily, fingertips clawing at the edge of the vanity, gripping onto nothing as the fullness of his cock pressed against the sweetened hilt buried inside you.
Eddie reached around with his other hand, gently wrapping it around your throat, forcing your attention onto the mirror as his thumb tauntingly pressed against your pulse point. “Keep those eyes on the mirror, sweetheart.” He hummed, slowly moving his hips forward, dragging his cock along the warmth of your pussy.
“You’re taking my cock so well, baby. You were made for me, weren’t you?” He praised, leaning down slightly as he pressed sloppy kisses along your bare shoulder. “Made to be my little performer, splayed out just like this for me.”
“Fuck, Eddie. Feels so good.” You moaned sweetly at the praise, feeling your cunt fluttering around his cock as his fingers pushed deeper against your pulse points, excitement flaring through your chest.
The thick tension bubbled in your stomach as his hips gradually picked up pace, the sound of squelching echoing throughout the dressing-room as your cunt clenched around him, arousal leaving a creamy substance around the base of his cock. Your head tilted forward, forehead pressing against the slightly fogged mirror, breath ghosting across the glass with each heavy breath.
Eddie straightened, hand slipping from around your throat, burying his fingers between the strands of your hair, gently tugging you back up as he watched your head dip forward. “C’mon, sweetheart. Keep those pretty eyes forward, I want you to watch, baby.” He said through a groan of pleasure, his other hand gripping the plush skin of your thigh before landing a gentle smack that made your ass jiggle.
You whined loudly, lips parted with incoherent mumbles as his handprint flourished across your skin, lingering with a blistering warmth. Your eyes stared into the mirror, watching as his teeth sank into his bottom lip, feeling your stomach coil at the sight of him. “Mmph! Fuck, ‘s too much.” You moaned in pleasure, hips subconsciously moving back against his thrust, eagerly rubbing against the pressure of release rapidly building.
His hand tightened around the strands of your hair, groaning loudly in pleasure at the feeling of your pussy clenching around him as your hips pushed back against him. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m here, I gotcha, let it out, baby.” He said with that raspy tone, thrust slowing into that deep and sensual pace, leaving your body trembling beneath him.
The sweet raspiness of his voice sent the fuzziness in your abdomen snapping, the thick wave of pressure rippling through your body as your pussy tightened around his cock, release slicking up his cock as you trembled beneath him, fingers gripping the edge of the vanity while incoherent moans of pleasure spilled over your lips.
Eddie watched with a close eye, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as you came undone around his cock, thrust still slowly pushing into you with sensual movements, softly fucking you through the intense orgasm. “That’s it, sweet girl. Take a little more for me?” He pressed, looking at your reflection in the mirror with an intimate gaze, almost pussy-drunk on the way you felt around him.
You nodded lightly at his question, body trembling against the tabletop, still sucking his cock in for more, the intimacy of his touch leaving you addicted, desperately clinging onto the pleasure. His hand dropped from your hair, letting your head dip forward slightly as he reached for your waist, carefully readjusting the position until you were facing forward, legs wrapped tightly around his waist as his cock pushed inside you.
His hand reached for your waist, thumb brushing across your blistering skin, slowly moving his hips forward, the sound of his heavy breathing mixing into your soft moans, skin glistening across your bodies as he leaned forward. “God, you look beautiful like this, sweetheart.” Eddie complimented, brushing the curled strands of hair away from your face, staring at the post-orgasm glow that stretched across your face.
“An absolute angel dressed in sin.” He whispered lowly, palm tenderly resting against your jawline, tilting your face towards him as his lips pressed against yours, swallowing the sweet moans that melted past your tongue.
You smiled into the kiss at his words, thighs tightening around his waist, drawing him closer as your arms draped across his shoulders. “And what does that make you?” You whispered against his lips, tantalizingly leaving kisses down his collarbone, listening to the breathless sound of his chuckle. “A worshipper draped in chains.” You added, briefly looking up at him with eyes darkened with intimacy, tongue swiping across your lips with that smile.
Eddie’s expression shifted, lustful amusement glimmering beneath his eyes, cock pulsating with the ache for release, stomach coiling with pressure at the sudden switch in your words. His hand slipped beneath the length of your hair, firmly, but gently holding the back of your neck. “I’d worship you day and night, sweetheart.” He whispered, tilting your head and revealing the stretch of your neck, lips brushing against the sensitive spot as he inhaled the pheromones pouring off your skin.
You whimpered sweetly at the feeling of his teeth sinking into your skin, subtle claims blistering across your neck, overwhelming heat blistering throughout your body. “Fuck, please. I need that, I need you.” You replied shakily, mind slipping into that haze of pleasure, fingers clawing at his shoulder blades as the tension bubbled in your abdomen, becoming drunk on the sensuality of his words while his cock pressed against the sensitive hilt buried inside you.
Eddie’s body jerked at the sharpness of your nails, hissing at the pleasurable pain of your fingers dragging across his back. His fingers pressed against the side of your throat, pulling away from the crook of your neck, staring at the fucked-out expression pulling at your face. “Yeah, sweetheart? I’m here, not leaving, gonna give you everything you want.” He muttered through his tightened jaw, cock twitching against your cunt, desperately aching for release.
You nodded weakly, body pressing against his chest as your fingers pushed beneath the messy strands of hair, gently tugging his head backwards. “Mhm, a-ah, fuck. Feels so good, think ‘m gonna cum.” You moaned senselessly, desperately clinging onto him as the slow sway of his hips gradually picked up, repeatedly pushing against that sweetened hilt.
His hand dropped from around your neck, tightening around your waist, firmly holding you against the vanity as his hips sloppily thrusted inside you, pushing your body over the edge as the pressure snapped, leaving your cunt fluttering around him. “Let it out, angel. I gotcha, baby.” Eddie muttered in pleasure, guiding you through the orgasm as his own release stirred through him.
The pressure coiled in your abdomen, moaning loudly in pleasure as he continuously thrust into you with desperate motions, the intensity of your orgasm whipping through your body, leaving his cock coated in your release. “Oh, god, Eddie. Right there, right there.” You babbled, needily clinging onto the pleasure as your body trembled with aftershocks.
Eddie glanced down at you, head still angled from the tightening around his hair, eyes brightening with something similar to worship as he watched you come apart around him, thumb soothingly brushing against the curve of your waist. “Just a little more, please, baby. Just a little bit more, promise.” He whispered repeatedly, voice carrying that raspy shakiness as he bottomed out inside, hips stuttering while his cock twitched against your cunt. “Fuck, sweetheart. Don’t move, don’t move.” He babbled, thick ropes of cum spilling inside you, leaving his chest heavily rising with each heavy breath.
You exhaled heavily, chest stuttering with each breath of air you pulled in, body trembling around him as your hands weakly dropped from his hair, lazily resting against his shoulders. Eddie pulled back slightly, noticing that dazed look in your expression, gently brushing the hair away from your forehead. “C’mere, sweetheart.” He whispered, pulling you closer, hand resting against the back of your head, letting you press your head against his shoulder as the two of you steadily came down from the lingering intensity.
His arm wrapped around you, holding you securely against his chest as his fingertips traced idle patterns along your spine. “You’re okay, I’m here.” He spoke softly, pressing a tender kiss against the top of your head, smiling tiredly at the tiny exhales spilling across your lips. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” He added, trying to catch a glimpse of your face, noticing the half-lidded exhaustion in your eyes.
Eddie carefully untangled your bodies, slowly pulling out his half-hard cock, whispering soft praises at the tiny whimpers that slipped past your lips at the loss of warmth. “I know, baby. You did so good, an absolute angel for me.” He spoke quietly, wiping down the mess between your legs with the cloth he found in your vanity, before grabbing the duffle bag you pointed at, helping you dress into fresh, comfortable clothes.
“Thanks.” You mumbled tiredly, holding onto his shoulder as he helped pull the pair of lounge pants over your legs.
When he finished helping you change, the two of you stood there for a moment, loosely holding onto each other, before he twisted the rings on his fingers, pulling off one of the silver ones with a red gemstone. “So you don’t forget when you leave.” He said, carefully tucking the ring into the palm of your hand.
You looked down at the ring, smiling lightly as you wrapped your hand around it, looking back up at Eddie with a sweetened, yet amused expression. “Why don’t you drive me home?”
a/n: i love this but i don’t, but i really do at the same time. it’s been so long since ive wrote a good detailed smut </3 . i stayed up literally all night writing this so i do apologize if its choppy and has some errors :’)
Cigarettes Out The Window
synopsis: loneliness wasn’t something new, you found yourself growing used to the isolation, because people never stayed when it came to the heaviness of your emotions, strong enough to swallow you entirely, leaving nothing but an empty stare — until Eddie Munson showed up, and showed you what it was like to breathe again, to be the person you needed all along.
content tags: mental health issues, anxiety, self-doubt, depression, implied personality disorder, attachment, co-dependency, emotional vulnerability, angst with comfort.
word count: 2.2K
The first thing people usually notice about you is that you’re always alone, not the mysterious kind of lonely that makes people curious, just alone. This was the kind of loneliness that settled deep in your bones, following you everywhere until it climbed into bed with you every night.
You wore loneliness like a second skin, and by senior year, nobody questioned it anymore. Nobody asked why you spent most lunches hidden behind the school with a cigarette burned between your fingers even though you hated the smell of smoke.
Nobody asked why you always looked exhausted, even though you slept through all your classes.
Nobody asked why your eyes were permanently shadowed with dark circles, even though you wore concealer everyday to try and cover them.
Nobody asked why some days you walked through the halls like a ghost and other days you were laughing too loudly at things that weren’t entirely that funny.
People stopped asking questions when they realized there weren’t any easy answers. You were a complicated person, too difficult, too emotional, too attached, simply just too much for the regular person. People decided early on that your feelings were always too big, your sadness was too deep, and your anger burned too hot.
The worst part? Your love, because when you loved someone, you didn’t know how to do it halfway. You never did, it was almost physically impossible. You loved people with your entire soul, like a drowning person finally breaking the surface of the water.
You latched onto people, clinging to them desperately until eventually they left, including friends that got too overwhelmed, until boyfriends got too annoyed, until people just grew tired of it.
Everyone always grew tired, so eventually you just stopped trying. You stopped trusting people, and more importantly, you stopped hoping that someone would finally stay. You spent most days moving through Hawkins with a permanent ache in your chest, a quiet sadness mixed with the constant fear that everyone secretly hated you.
Your mind never shut up, eventually turning every conversation into evidence, every glance becoming silent proof of their hatred, and every delayed response felt like abandonment. It was utterly exhausting, living inside your own head felt like being trapped in a house that was constantly on fire, and no matter how hard you tried, you could never escape the smoke.
You spent nights staring at your bedroom ceiling while old records played softly in the background, something to keep your mind from spiraling into that darkened depths that you barely managed to pull yourself out of.
You rarely slept those days, where the voices got too loud, leaving you to drift through life in a haze of anxiety and loneliness, until Eddie Munson showed up, and suddenly you remembered what it felt like to breathe.
It happened by accident, the way all disasters do. It was around late September when you were sitting outside the school after hours, sitting on the concrete steps with your knees pressed against your chest, headphones plugged into your walkman, draining out the thoughts in your head with a cigarette pressed between your fingers.
You weren’t even smoking it anymore, just holding it between your fingers as you watched the smoke curl into the air, until a sudden shadow fell across you. When you looked up, all you saw was leather and denim, paired with messy curls and brown eyes.
“Those things’ll kill you, sweetheart.”
You blinked once, staring up at him with a slightly confused expression, because nobody talked to you, not anymore, but yet there he was, looking directly at you, almost like he saw you beneath the surface of everything.
You hated how quickly your heart raced after a single interaction. “I’m not really smoking it.” You muttered, because you weren’t, the spark was barely lit anymore.
Eddie glanced down, noticing the fading spark, then laughed softly at the realization, the sound making something warm bloom inside your chest. “Oh, well, that’s probably healthier.” He pointed out.
You rolled your eyes at his words, but your lips twitched into a slight smile despite yourself. “Yeah, guess so.”
Without a word, he sat down beside you, almost like it was the most natural thing in the world. There was no judgment or hesitation, just a simple movement that made it feel like he belonged there, like you weren’t something that people whispered about.
The conversation lasted twenty-three minutes, you knew because you counted. You counted everything, twenty-three minutes, thirty-seven laughs, three accidental touches, and two nicknames.
And when he finally stood to leave, you spent the entire night thinking about him, replaying the memory on repeat until sunrise. You should have known then, should have recognized the signs, and that dangerous feeling that bloomed beneath your ribs, because you felt it before.
You felt that desperate attachment before, that overwhelming fixation that left your heart racing until it was consumed with the terrifying certainty that someone suddenly mattered more than they should.
But, Eddie felt different, at least that’s what you told yourself.
And after that day, Eddie started to appear everywhere, even your favorite isolated spots around town, almost like gravity kept dragging the two of you together, and everything you saw him, the ache inside your chest eased, just enough to keep you wanting more.
Because being around him felt different than being alone, the noise in your head quieted, letting the sadness and anxiety loosen, not completely, but enough to make him feel addictive.
You started looking for him everywhere, scanning crowds, checking parking lots, even listening for his voice. Your entire day would be ruined if he wasn’t at school, but your entire mood would change instantly if he smiled at you.
You hated how much power he had over you, but you loved it at the same time, because for the first time in years, someone reached for you first, and that realization hit harder than anything else had.
It was late in the evening, raining talking against the window as you curled up against his mattress while music played softly from an old cassette player. Eddie was sitting cross-legged on the floor, sorting through D&D notes while you stared at him, admiration glimmering through your eyes.
You couldn’t help it, everything about him fascinated you, the way he laughed, the way he talked with his hands when he was excited, and especially the way he made you feel wanted, like you existed somewhere outside the whispered and voices inside your head.
You watched him for nearly fifteen minutes before he noticed, turning his head just enough to catch that spaced out expression. “What?” Eddie called out, smiling softly as you pulled yourself back into reality.
“Huh?” You blinked, head tilted slightly with confusion.
“You’re staring, sweetheart.” He pointed out, practically sensing the heat that flooded your cheeks.
“Oh, you noticed?” You asked, a small, embarrassed laugh slipping through.
Eddie laughed softly, shaking his head in amusement as he looked at you, matching that expression of admiration. “Sweetheart, you’ve been staring at me like I’m the last man on Earth.”
His words made your stomach twist slightly, because that was exactly how it felt. You looked away, anxiously fidgeting with your fingers as embarrassment flooded through you.
But, before your brain could convince itself that he’d been mocking you, Eddie reached over and nudged your knee, trying to pull your attention back onto him.
“Hey, look at me, sweetheart.”
When you looked back over at him, his expression softened immediately, noticing the silent panic beneath your eyes. “What?” You asked, voice coming out quieter than before.
“You okay, sweetheart?” Eddie asked quietly, concern laced into his voice as he looked over at you, head tilted slightly to get a better look at your face.
Suddenly, you felt your chest tightened, the weight of his concern nearly enough to destroy the glass bottle you packed your emotions inside of. You quickly looked away again, feeling your eyes burn with unshed tears as your throat swelled with an achiness.
“I’m fine, Eddie.”
“You don’t sound fine.”
The room became painfully quiet after that, just the rain tapping softly against the trailer as the music continued to hum in the background. You could practically hear your heart pounding against your chest, convinced it was loud enough to echo throughout the silence.
“I’m just scared.” You finally admitted, voice coming out in a whisper of uncertainty.
Eddie frowned slightly, eyebrows furrowing together with that softened expression, as if his heart were already aching after hearing your words. “Scared of what?” He asked gently, giving you the choice to continue.
Being left.
Being forgotten.
Being too much.
Being unlovable.
Being alone again.
But, the words never managed to come out, almost like they were lodged in your throat, the fear of being vulnerable clawing against your chest. Instead, you just shrugged, lips pursed together slightly, trying to swallow down that lump of emotions.
Eddie watched you for a moment, staring at you like he was trying to solve a puzzle before standing up and settling down beside you, close enough that you could smell the cigarette smoke lingering in his clothes.
“You know, you’re allowed to tell me stuff. Whatever it is, you can talk to me.” Eddie said quietly, almost encouraging you to speak up.
The words were so simple, but shattered something inside you, because nobody ever said things like that, nobody ever stayed long enough to want the ugly parts or the mess that came with them. But, when you looked at Eddie, all you could see was the sincerity and concern in his expression.
“I’m scared you’ll get tired of me.” You finally admitted, the confession slipping out before you had time to process the weight of it.
His expression immediately shifted, eyebrows furrowing together slightly as he processed your words, fumbling on his words for a moment before finally speaking.
“Don’t say that, sweetheart. I’m not going to get tired of you.” Eddie said, his voice clear with that gentle firmness.
You shook your head lightly, looking down at your lap, fingers anxiously twisting between each other. “You will, you just don’t know it yet.” You whispered, voice cracking as the silence stretched through the bedroom again.
Eddie shook his head, reaching over and grabbing your hand, gently holding them close, preventing you from picking at your nails any longer. “I could never get tired of you, sweetheart. No matter what happens, I would never.” He said softly, thumb brushing over your scarred knuckles in soothing motions.
A shaky exhale slipped over your lips, stiffly shaking your head at his words, trying to choke back the tears that threatened to spill. “You don’t know how bad it can get.” You whispered, voice breaking with each syllable, as if it were the only reasonable explanation.
His expression softened further, lightly squeezing your hands, trying to stop the subtle tremors rippling through you. “Then show me, show me how bad it can get, and I’ll still be here.”
The went went completely still, your head practically snapped toward him, staring at him with an unreadable expression, different emotions swirling behind your glossy eyes as you looked for anything to give away his sincerity, almost looking for a reason to doubt his reassurance.
But, there was none, and for one impossible moment, you actually believed him. Which was dangerous, because after all this time, hope has always been your downfall, because having hope made losing people unbearable.
And yet, sitting beside him, feeling the warmth of his body pressed against yours, you couldn’t stop the hope from slowly creeping in, quietly mixing into your body like something poisonous, or salvation.
Across the bedroom, the cassette player finally clicked as the song ended, filling the room with static, though neither of you moved to turn it off. Somewhere between the static and silence, past all the broken pieces buried inside you, the terrifying realization that you needed settled against your chest, heavy and permanent.
You already knew what happened when you needed people, you lost yourself in them until they faded away completely, leaving you hollowed and destroyed worse than before. You knew you should have pulled away, should have protected yourself from letting this happen.
Instead, you leaned closer.
The movement was barely noticeable, yet he noticed, and his eyes looking down at you, a small smile pulling at his expression, something filled with warmth and affection. Without hesitation, Eddie lifted an arm, gently wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you against his side.
Every anxious thought disappeared, every doubt and insecurity gone, all because of him. You melted into his touch immediately, head resting against his shoulder as you inhaled deeply, the comfort of his presence wrapping around you warmly.
Outside, the rain continued to fall over the trailer park, everything still moving as it did before, but instead that tiny room, curled against his side, you felt something dangerously close to peace.
But neither of you realized that this wasn’t the beginning of a healthy relationship. It wasn’t healing or balance, and it wasn’t two people saving each other. It was loneliness finding loneliness, two damaged hearts discovering a place safe enough to hide.
It was a boy who loved being needed, and a girl who didn’t know how to survive without needing someone, and somewhere in between all of that wreckage, something beautifully devastating began to grow.
• stranger things masterlist.
author’s note: i actually missed writing for eddie so much, literally my COMFORT character, i will be getting back into writing for him again, promise!! also this isn’t proofread, im posting this at 4am :/
part two? more comfort and angst, duh.

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hi, everyone!! first, i want to thank you all for 1k followers. i love you all very much, and appreciate your support so deeply.
another thing, i want to apologize for not posting as much. unfortunately, i was diagnosed with a chronic illness, which severely impacted my mental health — leading to my lack of updates and post. i am currently doing better, and i have been working on some things. i’m about halfway done with girls on film chapter 12, unexpectedly yours chapter 3, along with an eddie munson oneshot. i can’t give an exact date of when they’ll be posted, but im hoping they’ll be out within the next week or so.
as of right now, my request are also closed so i can caught up on all my other series and oneshot. thank you <3
heey!! just wanted to ask are you all right? you haven't been active for quite a time, i know its probably a hiatus but just got worried💞
sending love!!🫶🏻
hii, hunny. thank you for your concern, i’m okay!! just stuck in a bad writer’s block & having some mental health issues :( but, i promise im okay 🤍. i should be posting soon, i don’t have an exact timeline but i will be posting the next chapters for my two eddie munson fanfics and maybe some more jujutsu kaisen stuff :)
Puff, Puff, Pass ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ
Summary: You always stayed at the studio with Mingi, keeping him company while he worked on his music— too stoned out of your mind to really complain about the late hours, the fuzzy feeling keeping you mellowed out until the reverent warmth grows thicker between the two of you.
Pairings: Producer Mingi & Fem!Reader
Tags: Mature Themes, Cursing, Smoking, Weed Consumption, Sensual Touching, Kissing, Pet Names, Praising, Oral Sex, Very Little Prep, Unprotected Sex, Slight Degrading, Hair Pulling, Fingering, Choking, Praising, Public Sex, (They’re in the studio), Overstimulation, Implied Exhibitionism, Breeding, Implied Aftercare.
Word Count: 3.4K
Ateez Masterlist | Main Masterlist
The studio was plagued by red fluorescent lighting, which paired nicely with the heavy rhythm of the music playing in the background, accompanied by Mingi’s low humming as he worked on the lyrics for his part. “Hey, princess. Can you roll up?” He asked, briefly turning over to look at you before turning back to the soundboard.
A low giggle breezed over your lips, reaching over for the rolling tray tucked on the coffee table. “Already did, baby.” You hummed, reaching for the blunt, perching it between your plump lips before grabbing the lighter. The lighter sparked in front of your face, holding it against the blunt until the strong smell of weed filled the room.
The smoke swirled around you, leaving a dusky appearance as you inhaled deeply, the ash burning a fiery color. The weed tasted faintly of lemons, leaving a pleasant aftertaste on your tongue as the substance lingered around you. “Here, babe. Take a hit,” You said, pulling yourself from the couch and shuffling toward him.
You press the rolled blunt against his lips, watching with dazed eyes as he inhales slowly, soaking up the intoxicating feeling of the smoke swirling through his lungs. Mingi ghosts the whirl of smoke, a puffy cloud spilling from his lips before sucking it back in, making the act of smoking look far too attractive to be sinful.
A low hum spilled over his lips, coughing slightly as he held it in his lungs before exhaling. “Who’d you get this from? Taste good, might ask for more.” Mingi said, pushing the chair back to reach for the rolling tray left on the table.
Mingi ashed the blunt, finger lightly tapping to shake the excess ash before passing it back to you. “Yuyu! He gave it to me for free, said he wanted us to try it.” You hummed sweetly, placing the pearled blunt between your lips, inhaling the citrusy flavor.
His eyebrow raised slightly, catching the playful smirk on your face as you mentioned his bandmate's name. “Yunho loves spoiling you, princess. C’mere, show him how much you like it.” Mingi reached out for your hand, gently guiding you between his legs.
You shuffled toward him, giggling softly as he pulled you onto his lap, his hand finding its place on the curve of your waist. “Look so pretty, babygirl. Love seeing you like this,” He hummed, reaching over for his phone and opening the camera.
“Smile for Yuyu, princess.” He instructed, placing the rolled blunt between your lips, letting the smoke swirl around your face before snapping a picture. A smug smirk tugged at his lips, feeling the blood rushing through his body as he stared at the picture, obsessed with the seductive gleam clouding over your reddened eyes. “Good girl, Yuyu’s gonna love it.”
Mingi sent the picture, typing out a short message that you approved of the new strain of weed before tossing his phone back on the table, a loud thud echoing within the room. His attention turned back to you, fingertips brushing along the clothed curve of your waist. He inhaled deeply, the intoxicated feeling of your presence mixing beautifully with the blissful sensation bubbling with ruined sobriety.
“God, can’t get enough of you.” He mumbled, the intensified feeling of desire evident in the hardened bulge in his sweatpants. His hand trailed along your body, letting his touch leave goosebumps against your skin before stopping at the delicate stretch of your neck. The heaviness of his palm rested against your throat, leaving your body trembling with fuzziness as his fingertips pressed against your supple skin.
A playful giggle breezes through your parted lips, a rush of heat trickling down your spine as his fingertips massage the pressure points on the side of your neck. Your body melted against his chest, fingertips curling themselves into the armrest as the mellowed fuzziness suddenly turned into fervency rippling through you. “Mingi,” Your voice was a breathless moan, a wordless plea for more.
The low chuckle echoed through the walls, settling sensually within the heat that pumped through your veins. “Use your words, baby.” He hummed mockingly, reaching for your wrist and guiding the blunt to his lips. His lips wrapped around the end, inhaling a thick cloud of smoke, letting it swirl around his face before setting the blunt in the ashtray. A smirk curved at his lips, watching you with heavy eyes, eagerly pulling you closer against his chest.
He shifted your position, forcing you to look at him with dazed intoxication before capturing your lips in a sensual kiss. The citrusy taste of weed invaded your taste buds, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip, swallowing the soft whimper that spilled through your parted lips. His hand rested tightly around your neck, the pad of his thumb caressing your supple skin as his tongue explored the addictive taste of your mouth.
Your fingertips needily clawed at his chest, gripping onto the broad stretch of his shoulders, feeling his muscles tensing underneath your lustful touch. “Need you, please.” You spoke breathlessly, the needy plea full of desperation as you pressed soft kisses along his jawline, earning a low groan of desperation from him.
His hooded eyes watched with excitement, feeling the heaviness of his cock straining against his sweatpants as your hands eagerly clawed at his shoulders. “Yeah, princess? C’mon, gotta make me feel good first.” Mingi whispered, leaning forward to let his whispered words trickle down your neck as he nipped at your earlobe. His hands traveled down to your waist, lingering for a moment before kneading the flesh of your ass. “On your knees, baby.” He hummed, landing a playful smack across your ass.
A soft whine spilled through your swollen lips, the slight sting of his palm lingering beneath your leggings, leaving your body trembling with excitement. You pulled yourself from his lap, settling comfortably between his legs, the carpet easing the discomfort from the position. His hand reached out, cupping your chin sweetly as his thumb brushed along your lip. “Look at you, princess. So pretty on your knees for me.” He smirked, tugging at your bottom lip.
You smiled sweetly, staring at him with those beautifully inebriated eyes, dauntingly tracing your fingertips along his thighs until reaching the waistband of his sweatpants. Mingi lifted his hips slightly, tugging down his pants enough to reveal his hardened bulge. His cock brushed against his abdomen, throbbing with need as pre-cum oozed from the tip. A groan of anticipation spilled over his lips, the heaviness of his palm stroking his cock as you laid out your tongue, letting him glide his shaft along it.
He moaned in response, feeling his thighs trembling at the wet sensation of your tongue glide along his cock. His hands reached for the back of your head, gathering your hair into a makeshift ponytail, using the hold to eagerly guide your motion. “Shit, baby. C’mon, take it all.” He spoke with a guttural voice, tilting his head back lazily as your lips wrapped around his cock.
The shuddering wetness of your mouth swallowed his cock, leaving a trail of salvia along the thickness of his cock as your head bobbed in continuous motions. You flattened your tongue against the underside of his shaft, feeling him twitch inside your mouth while your nose brushed against his abdomen. The mixture of gagging and groans echoed through the studio, bubbles of saliva gathering at the corner of your mouth as his hips bucked forward.
“That’s it, pretty. Just like that, feels so fucking good.” He groaned in bliss, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as your tongue swirled around his thick shaft, feeling each vein twitch along the wetness of your throat. A hazy gleam of pleasure darkened his eyes, feeling his thigh spasm under each swipe of your tongue. His hand tightened around your hair, guiding your mouth along his cock, keeping your throat stuffed as his hips bucked forward.
The sound of your desperate moans vibrated against his cock, glaring up at Mingi with submissive eyes, tears brimming your waterline. “C’mon, pretty. Relax your throat,” He hissed beneath his breath, feeling his cock bruising the back of your throat, pulsating with an ache to release as you gagged around him. Mingi held you in place for a moment, moaning in pleasure as spit bubbles pooled on your mouth, mixing beautifully with the tears that spilled down your waterline.
“That’s it, baby. So good, doin’ such a good job.” Mingi praised, voice scratchy with blissful rasp that made your cunt clench around nothing, aching for friction. He pulled back, saliva connecting to your lips as you gasped for air, leaving your face flushed with warmth. His thumb swiped away the tears glistening off your cheek, brushing the stray pieces of hair away from your face, humming in satisfaction at the dazed gleam in your eyes.
The back of your palm wiped away the dripping saliva, staring at Mingi with an expression of lustful submission. “Min, I need you.” You breathed out with a voice coated in sinful desire, using his knee for support and pulling yourself from the kneeling position. “Want you inside, filling me up.” You whispered, tauntingly stripping off the leggings you wore, eyes never leaving his.
A not-so subtle shiver trickled down his spine, lips parted as his eyes devoured the sensual sight in front of him, lingering on the plush stretch of your thighs. “Yeah, pretty? Okay then, on my lap.” Mingi instructed with ease, hand reaching out for your waist, helping you lower yourself onto his lap.
He inhaled sharply, the warmth of your seeping cunt throbbing against his cock, “Fuck, baby. So fucking warm, could cum just from this.” He moaned, slowly rubbing his shaft along the soft cotton of your soaked panties. Mingi reached between your legs, pushing aside the stained panties, rubbing his fingers along your wet folds. “Shit, pretty. You’re dripping already, might be able to take my cock with ease.” He hummed, teasing your aching hole with his fingertips.
Mingi’s hand tightened around your waist, pushing two fingers inside you, scissoring them to spread you open. His other hand found your back, keeping you steady with his hand as he pushed you back slightly. He worked his fingers inside you, humming in satisfaction as needy moans spilled over your lips, fingertips curling into his forearm. “Fu-Fuck, Mingi!” You moaned loudly, juices spilling onto the palm of his hand, prepping your cunt to take the size of his cock.
Mingi chunked breathlessly, watching with hooded eyes as your mouth opened, hanging slack as he stretched you with his fingers. “Think you can handle my cock now?” He taunted, pulling his fingers from your gushing sex just as your thighs started to tremble. Mingi lifted your body slightly, his other hand wrapped around his shaft, rubbing the slick from your juices onto his cock before lining the head against your entrance.
He moaned lowly, fingertips digging into the curve of your waist as he guided you onto his cock. “God, you feel so fuckin’ good.” He hissed, thighs shuddering as he bottomed out inside you, the warmth of your walls clenching around him.
Your back arched into his chest, fingertips clawing at his broad shoulders as he fucked into you slowly, lazily rolling your hips to meet his thrust. “Oh, fuck, Min.” You moaned sweetly, the intoxication from the weed heightening your senses, a heavy wave of euphoria trembling through you as his cock pushed against the spongy spot deep inside you.
His hands reached out for your hips, squeezing the supple skin as he guided your movements, rolling your hips into his sloppy strokes, leaving his cock drenched with the arousal that oozed from your filled cunt. “Fuck, baby. Squirtin’ on my cock already, needy little princess.” He said with a smirk, hand reaching between your legs to press his thumb against your clit, rubbing circles around the throbbing bud.
Your body jolted at the pressure, fingertips digging roughly into his broad shoulders, the thick wave of pleasure bubbling in your abdomen. “Fu-Fuck, baby. Don’t stop, please.” You moaned loudly, feeling your tight walls squeezing his cock, the thick curve bullying the sensitive spot buried inside your sweet cunt. “A-Ah, fuck, think ‘m gonna cum.” You stuttered, desperately bouncing onto his cock, chasing the intense orgasm with need.
Mingi watched with hooded eyes, entranced with the sinful movement of your hips, noticing how the tremors in your thighs became louder. The sound of skin slapping mixed perfectly with the sweet moans that trickled from your lips, “I know, pretty. I’m not stoppin’, let it out.” He guided, holding your waist firmly as hips roughly pushed upwards, meeting your sloppy bounces halfway.
The pressure in your abdomen snapped, the intensity of your heightened orgasm rippling through you, hips bucking into his grasp. “I gotcha, baby. Just like that, pretty.” Mingi hummed, feeling your cunt flutter around him as your orgasm left his cock drenched with your release, squelching noises filling the close space as he fucked you through the orgasm.
Your mind was fuzzy, soft whimpers of overstimulation spilling out as Mingi fucked you through the orgasm, ignoring the way you weakly clawed at his shoulder. “Min! Too much, too much!” You whined loudly, letting your body fall limp against his chest, the uncomfortable knot of release aching between your legs again.
A breathless, condescending laugh replaced his grunts of pleasure, staring down at your trembling body with an expression of pride. “You can take it, baby. You’re doin’ so good, pretty.” He praised, trailing his fingertips along your body, feeling your tremble beneath his touch. His hands tangled themselves in your hand, “Let me see you, baby. Look at me,” He hummed, softly pulling your head back enough to reveal the cock-drunk expression that left your pupils blown.
His cock throbbed at the sight of your dazed expression, “There’s my pretty baby, look so good takin’ my cock.” He complimented, whispering sweetly as his hand slipped around the back of your neck. Mingi tilted your head slightly, humming softly as his lips ghosted over the gentle stretch of your jawline, leaving tender kisses along your skin before swallowing your lips in a desperate kiss.
The neediness of your moans were swallowed by the sloppy kiss, noises becoming muffled as he kissed you eagerly, trembling underneath the feeling of your fingertips taking against his chest. Your head tilted slightly, weakly fighting for control of the kiss as your fingers buried themselves in his silky hair, gently tugging his head back against the headrest of the chair.
Mingi groaned huskily into the kiss, fingertips roughly tightening around your throat, nipping at your bottom lip before pulling away. “So fuckin’ desperate for control, baby.” He mumbled, staring at you with a darkened gaze before landing a thick strike across the curve of your ass. “Go ahead, princess. Take what you want, use me.” Mingi nodded weakly, brushing his thumb across the stinging sensation of his large handprint.
You looked down at Mingi, a bratty smile curving over your lips, roughly tugging at his hair as you tauntingly moved your hips in slow circular motions. “Fuck, Mingi. Feels so full,” You moaned breathlessly, lifting your hips enough to bounce on his cock, the swell of his shaft leaving you mindless as it drags sensually along your tightening walls.
Mingi huffed lowly in response, feeling the overwhelming tension stirring in his abdomen as your greedy cunt sucked him in desperately, cock twitching against the sweetened warmth inside you. His hands reached for your hips, loosely holding your figure as his thumb circled along the gentle curves. “Just like that, baby. You feel so fucking, taking my cock like you were made for it.” He praises, choking back moans of pleasure with each sway of your hips.
Your head tilted upwards, hair sprawled across your back as you lazily fucked yourself on his cock, the lingering effects of the weed leaving you in a sensual haze as you moaned sweetly. “Love your cock so much, Min. I was made for it, I was made for you.” You mumbled, words sounding almost incoherent as they blended with the flimsy moans that spilled over your lips.
Mingi moaned, unashamed by the loudness as the weight of your words sent that thick knot of tension tightening beneath his abdomen. His hand left your figure, wrapping around your throat with gentle handling. “Look at me, princess. I need to see you,” Mingi pleaded, guiding you down to his level, keeping his attention focused on you as his thumb glided across your bottom lip.
You looked at Mingi, mouth parted unconsciously as his thumb tugged at your bottom lip. He pushed his fingers inside your mouth, groaning lowly as your wet lips wrapped around him, pressing the pad of his thumb against the flattened area of your tongue. You swirled your tongue around his fingers, letting him lazily mouth-fuck you with his calloused fingers as you lifted your body, continuously edging the tip of his cock before sinking back down on it.
His hips bucked into you, desperate to chase the warmth as you lifted your body, letting your movements become sloppy as the thick wave of pleasure swallowed your body entirely. “A-Ah! Min, M’ close, so fucking close.” You whined loudly, feeling your thighs spasming around his lap, fingertips roughly digging into his broad shoulder.
Mingi’s hands reached for your waist, guiding the sloppiness of your movements as you chased the feeling of release that stirred in your abdomen. He felt your pussy clenching around his cock, the sound of squelching filling the studio walls as the clear slick of your arousal spilled onto his pelvis as he fucked into you. “Keep riding me, princess, wanna feel you fall apart on my cock.” He grunted in pleasure, ignoring the way the desk chair squeaked as he lifted his hips to meet your movements.
Both of your movements were desperate and unashamed, oblivious to the loudness of moaning that spilled underneath the studio door, too far drunk off each other to care if anyone heard the lewdness from inside the room. Mingi’s fingertips roughly dug into your skin, repeatedly fucking his cock into your gushing pussy. “Fuck, [Y/N]. Keep squeezing me, baby.” He grunted out, feeling his thighs tighten with tremors as he tried to choke back the aching feeling pulsing in his balls.
Your ass jiggled with every rough motion he laid into your pussy, leaving your thighs slightly bruised from the roughness. The lewd noises of your spent pussy mixed into the sound of skin slapping as you squirted onto his cock, the intensity of your orgasm whipping through you. "Oh, god! Right there, Mingi. 'M cumming." You moaned out, clawing at his shoulders.
His grip loosened as your body bucked violently against him, losing control as he slammed into you, the wetness of your arousal squirted everywhere as the curve of his cock drilled into you. “Fuck, baby. Gonna fill this pussy up,” Mingi groaned, feeling his balls pulsating with an aching sensation of release. “Gonna stuff you full of my cum, leave you dripping for days.” He babbled on, holding you firmly against his lap as thick ropes of warm cum spilled inside you, painting your walls with the stickiness of his orgasm.
Mingi moaned breathlessly, chest rising heavily as he tilted his head against the back of the chair, staring up at the strip of LED lights as he came down from his high, both highs. The mixture of mumbled whimpers and labored breathing filled the studio, bodies tangled and trembling in the chair as the heightened intensity left you dazed.
He glanced down at you, eyes hooded and red from the lingering effects of the weed, exhaling softly as your body limply rested against his chest. He shifted slightly, caressing your back with soothing motions as he pressed a short kiss to the top of your head, inhaling the faint scent of your shampoo, and the lingering smell of sex and weed that circled through the room.
“You okay, princess?” He asked, fingers combing through your hair as he reached over for the last of the blunt, grabbing one of the lighters scattered around him.
You looked up at him, nodding your head stiffly as he placed the blunt between his lips, the ember lighting up his face with a brief spark. “I’m okay, Min.” You mumbled tiredly, slowly coming down from the high pulsing beneath your skin.
Mingi inhaled sharply, letting the citrus smoke swirl around his lungs before humming quietly in response. “Let me finish up, and we’ll go home.” He said softly, letting you cling to him as he turned back to the computer screen. “Won’t be long, promise, baby.”
Author’s note: this was slightly rushed at the end, i’ve been having such bad headaches i can’t really stare at my laptop screen for too long </3
𐙚⋆.˚ Satoru Gojo has always been cocky, and that only heightened when the new heir of Zen’in clan showed up with hate oozing from her veins, practically begging to be fucked into the mattress. MDNI.
The room echoed with the sound of broken moans, muffled by the rough hand that forced you down onto the pillows, your hair sprawled out messily across the soft covering.
“C’mon, baby. You can take it, right?” Gojo whispered in your ear, voice dripping with that condescending tone that made your pussy flutter around his cock.
You babbled incoherently, weak protest spilling over your swollen lips, too absorbed in the overwhelming pleasure he fucked into your sweet, gushing cunt. “Mmhp! Can take it, please.” You whined loudly, feeling his movements slowing at your lack of response.
Gojo smirked in response, his ego only driving higher as he plowed you into the sheets, watching you crumble beautifully beneath his heated touch. His fingers latched onto the supple stretch of your waist, while the other pushed against the middle of your back; deepening the arch.
“There ya go, sweetheart.” He hummed, keeping your body positioned pliantly, exactly to his liking and nothing less. “Wasn’t so hard, just gotta use that pretty voice of yours.” He praised, letting his fingertips trace idle patterns across your spine.
His cock brushed against the sweetened hilt buried inside you, repeatedly fucking into that sponginess as your body withered from the pleasure, thighs trembling heavily, slick soaking every inch of his cock. The tightness of your cunt clenches around him, pulsing against his twitching cock, stomach bubbling with tension at every deep thrust laid into you.
Your fingertips roughly latched onto the rustled sheets beneath you, holding onto them so tightly until your knuckles ached from the grip. You were just coming down from your last drawn out orgasm, body still high with intensity, but Gojo refuses to let up, wanting to leave you nothing more than a blabbering, dripping mess on his mattress.
Gojo leaned forward, chest pressing against your back, caging you beneath him as his lips pressed sloppy kisses across your shoulder blades. “Filthy little heir,” He whispered between kisses, the mocking smirk evident as he pressed against you.
“Always acting so intimidating, always saying you hate me,” Gojo said, voice carrying that dominant whine, disguised beneath his tongue as his hands glided across your smooth skin. “All you needed was to be fucked into the mattress, like the fucking brat you are.” He whispered in your ear, pulling back just enough to land a stinging strike across your ass.
You protested weakly, the huffs of annoyance blending in with the forced-out moans of submission that were muffled by the pillows as your fingertips clawed at the silk coverings. “Mm, fuck you, Satoru.” You mumbled in between broken whines of pleasure, hatred for the cocky sorcerer still stirring as he fucked you thoroughly.
Gojo huffed a breathless chuckle, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as an expression of amusement painted across his face, pleased with your little show of distaste. His hand reached for the strands of your hair, roughly yanking you forward until your back pressed firmly against his chest.
“Such a dirty mouth for a pretty little slut like yourself,” Gojo whispered against your ear, nipping at the sensitive skin as the degradation made your stomach stir with aching pressure. “Hate me all you want, baby, but I’ll train you into a sweet toy for me to use.”
You felt him smirk against you, sweat clinging to your bodies as his cock reached deeper inside of you, bruising your abused walls with antagonizing slow, and sensual thrusts. His free hand snaked around your body, possessively flattening against your stomach, pushing down on the slight bulge as his hips rutted into you.
“Go ahead, tell me you hate when I’m fucking you like this,” He coaxed, fingers tightening around the tangled strands of your hair. “Don’t tell me you’re shy now, baby, use that dirty mouth for me.” Gojo encouraged, possessive hand trailing down to your dripping pussy, fingertips pressing against your clit and drawing circles around it.
“I hate—” You attempted to retort, being cut off as his fingers bullied you with pleasure, hastily teasing your clit as his other hands dropped from your hair, letting your head dip forward before roughly pushing his fingers past your lips.
He chuckled tauntingly, eyebrows knitting together in fake pity as you gagged around his fingers, pressing the calloused digits flat against your tongue. “Hm? What was that, baby?” He tsk-ed, his own release stirring with his abdomen, feeling his balls pulsing as your pussy fluttered around him, clearly enjoying his condescending behavior entirely too much.
The annoyance in your veins was almost as thick as the overwhelming pleasure, almost. His cock stretched you sweetly, every vein dragging along your sobbing cunt, glistening with the honeyed slick that squelched with each sensual thrust. Your hands reached for his forearm, fingertips clawing at his skin, weakly and loosely, too dazed to listen to the hatred you thought you had.
Gojo felt your pussy tighten around him, walls clamping around him that he was convinced you were purposefully trying to milk him dry. His fingers never stopped working your clit, applying soft pressure to the abused bud, bringing you closer to your edge until a creamy white ring formed at the base of his cock.
“Say please, baby. Say please and I’ll let you come all over my cock.” He instructed you, voice firm but shaky as his own orgasm twitched through his shaft, balls pulsating as the rush of liquid squirted from your pussy, dripping onto the mattress beneath you.
“Please, Toru. Wanna come, fuck, please.” You begged, salvia spilling down your chin as his fingers stilled in your mouth, refusing to leave the tasteful warmth as he ravaged you.
“Go on, then. Make a mess while I pump this pussy full of my cum.” Gojo hummed, hips rutting into you relentlessly as you clamped down on him, thick ropes of warm cum spilling inside you as you coated his cock with the creaminess of your release.
The sound of aspirated breathing filled the bedroom, the smell of sex and cum clinging to the fogged windows and clean linen as you both slowly came down your intensified orgasms, bodies nearly falling into the mattress.
Gojo carefully guided you onto the mattress, softening cock slipping from the wetness of your spent pussy as he untangled your bodies, gently letting you rest against his chest, smirking proudly at your lack of resistance and protest.
“Still hate me, baby?”
𐙚⋆.˚ oh my goodness, this is my first time writing jjk smut since 2022, im returning to my roots (i just rewatched the shibuya arc and needed to distract myself from my husband’s death)
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• likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! please do not copy or rework any of my written to publish on other platforms and here.
synopsis: loudness and parties have never been you’re thing, especially after the fall semester of college, something that left you with the heavy baggage of anxiety and ptsd, triggered by something as easy as laughter. you never expected it to get this bad, and you never expected to need someone to guide you through it, until megumi finds you tucked away in his room.
content warning: mentions of past abuse, mental health, emotional vulnerability, self-doubt, angst w/ comfort, soft megumi. (not entire proofread)
word count: 1.8k
The muffled voices and laughter barely filtered through the closed bedroom door, still loud enough to briefly catch phrases, but inaudible enough to understand the full context of the conversation
You slipped away not too long ago, too overwhelmed with the constant noise and loudness that left your shoulders tighter than usual. The last few days haven’t been the best, falling into that familiar state of misery as the summer season shifted into autumn.
It used to be your favorite season, always enjoying being able to watch the trees slowly change colors, the cozy sweaters that came with the bitter breeze, and Halloween festivities. That was until your freshman semester, when you found yourself entangled with the wrong people, falling into bad habits that left you with heavy baggage, making happiness seem impossible.
You barely managed through the freshman year, practically a zombie walking through campus, eyes too dark and heavy for someone with such a bright future. There were times when you doubted yourself, and your capabilities, too warped in the memories you wanted to claw out of your skull.
Then you met him. Megumi Fushiguro showed up in your life unexpectedly, but cliche. The two of you were paired for an assignment, spending nights studying together until you became inseparable, and slowly blended into each other’s personal lives.
And, that’s how you ended up tucked away in his bedroom, hiding from the liveliness of your friends because your head was such a fucked up place, it didn’t know how to differentiate safety and danger anymore, labeling any volume of loudness as DANGER.
You were tucked away by the corner of his bed, legs pulled closely to your chest, blankly staring out the window, watching the multi-colored leaves falling from the large trees. The more you drifted away from reality, the more memories started to resurface, leaving your body tight and tense with the ghosting sensation of his hands.
Your eyes shut tightly, lashes pressed flat against your cheek, forcing down that lump of unwanted emotions as your throat swelled with that aching sensation, leaving your chest heaving with each breath. The tears silently spilled down your face the moment you opened your eyes again, secretly wishing the release of tears would get rid of this uncomfortable sensation in your throat before your hands started clawing at the skin.
Everything suddenly felt suffocating, like each breath physically hurt to take, pushing uncomfortably against your ribs. You inhaled sharply, hands shakily pressing against your neck, like you were trying to pull away some unseen force, like you were back in the room trying to squirm out of his grasp.
It felt like hours were passing, like the memories trapped you in some alternate dimension, forcing you to relive that moment that left you damaged for life, forcing you to remember the weight of someone who was supposed to protect you, press against you with a pressure that was too suffocating to be affectionate.
You gasped loudly, a shaky sob shortly sneaking past your lips, trying to do anything to ground you back into reality, even focusing on the loud sound of laughter that sent you spiraling in the first place, trying to remind yourself that it was safety sounds, that you were safe in this wave of loudness.
The episode was so intense, you didn’t even notice the faint creak of the bedroom door, only recognizing how the loudest suddenly felt too clear to be separated by something. You shifted slightly, shoulders bunching together like you were bracing yourself, looking at the door with glossy eyes.
Megumi stood by the door, a little thrown off guard by your panicked expression, his heart immediately falling into his stomach. He recognized the signs instantly, understanding what loud noises can do to you, understanding how bad certain things can send you spiraling within seconds, and that’s exactly why he knew he’d find you hidden in his bedroom.
He pushed forward slowly, moving with careful motions, afraid that the wrong move might send you spiraling even further. “Hey, hey. It’s just me, babe.” Megumi said softly, holding his hands up when he noticed you flinched, attempting to let you know he wasn’t going to hurt you.
You sniffed a couple of times, wiping away the tears with the sleeve of the hoodie you stole from his closet. “Gumi?” You mumbled, voice shaky and broken, another clear indication of your distress that made his heart ache painfully.
“Yeah, baby. It’s just me.” He reassured lightly, a soft, soothing smile curving over his expression. “I’m gonna sit down, okay?” His hands rested on the further spot on the mattress, waiting until you gave him permission before moving any closer.
You nodded weakly, hiccuping on your own tears, desperately trying to relax, but failing miserably. “Sorry, I disappeared. I-I got overwhelmed.” You whispered, stuttering between each heavy breath, nearly making yourself hyperventilate.
Megumi shook his head immediately, cautiously inching closer, hands aching to reach and pull you into an embrace. “No, no. Don’t apologize, it’s okay.” He reassured you, eyes softening with an expression that was only ever given to you. “I was worried about you. Are the memories bothering you?” He admitted, voice dropping in volume as he hesitated to ask.
Something soft and broken catches in your throat, fingers trembling as they curl around the sleeve of the hoodie. “I just wish they would stop, Gumi.” You admitted, voice coated with defeat and exhaustion. “It’s like my brain is in a state of constant fight or flight, I just– I need it to stop.” You exhaled, hands pushing back your hair, looking over him with something mixed with frustration and sorrow.
He reached out slowly, eyes studying you, searching for any sign of resistance as he pulled your hands away from your face, gently holding them in his grasp. “I know, babe, I know you do.” He whispered, thumbs brushing over your scarred knuckles.
“You went through something traumatizing, it’s okay to not be fully healed. It’s only been a year, it’s okay to have episodes like this.” Megumi tried to reassure you, physically hurting to see you struggle with such deep emotional turmoil.
“I wanna be over it, I don’t wanna feel it anymore.” You cried, tears silently spilling down your face again, leaving your face glistening with the memories of something horrible.
Megumi didn’t hesitate this time, immediately pulling you into his embrace, his body tensing slightly from the contact, but easing when you buried yourself against his chest. He didn’t shush you or tell you to calm down, because he knew you needed an emotional outlet more than anything. He held you securely against his chest, fingers lightly combing through the strands of your hair, listening to every muffled babble you spewed against him.
“I know, baby. Let it out, I’m here.” He whispered, hands lightly ghosting over your back, trying to ease the tension that made your body tighten with each breath.
The minutes passed, and your body nearly forced out every tear it could produce, leaving your eyes puffy and swollen, matching the overwhelming emotions stirring beneath your heated skin. “I’m sorry… If I ruined the get-together.” You whispered against him, a sudden wave of guilt tumoring through you.
Megumi froze for a second, your whispered apology landing heavier than anything else that had happened. He pulled back slightly, palms trembling with hesitation as he carefully cupped your face, guiding you to look up at him. “No, don’t apologize for that. You have nothing to apologize for.” He said, softly but firmly, dark eyes glossing with emotion.
“I just feel bad—” You tried to explain yourself, but he cut you off immediately.
“No. Stop, don’t feel bad for anything. You never have to apologize for having an episode.” He continued, shaking his head slightly. “I could care less about what’s happening out there, I’m more worried about my girlfriend, who's been in a constant battle with her own mind.” He said, thumbs gently wiping away your tears.
You smiled weakly, almost forcing yourself to believe his words, but the guilt still gnawed at you, heavy and unrelenting. “It’s just… Sometimes I feel bad that I’m like this, ya know? I carry so much baggage, and you’re picking up the pieces to something you didn’t break.” You admitted, voice lowering instinctively, briefly looking away from him.
His eyes widened, blinking a few times at your words, heart aching so painfully he would have thought someone ripped it out of his chest. His thumb stilled against your cheek, holding you a little firmer, touch trembling against your skin as his own tears briefly glossed over his eyes.
“Please, don’t. I never want you to feel bad for that.” Megumi said, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “I met you months after everything happened, I saw all the bad moments, and I stayed because I love you.” He said, nodding faintly like he was asking you if you heard him.
“I love you through every bad and good moment, through every memory, through every piece of the past that haunts us both. I’ll pick up the broken shards forever, as long as it takes.” He explained.
“Why? Why waste your time on someone damaged like me?” You asked him, voice cracking with emotion, staring up at him with that overthinking expression.
“Because you’re not damaged. You were never damaged, especially not to me. You’re the strongest person I know, and I admire that so much. Sometimes, I’m envious of your strength.” Megumi said, a soft huff of laughter spilling over his larger lips.
Your head tilted slightly, shocked and confused by his words. “You’re envious of me?”
“I am.” He nodded firmly, thumb returning back to its soothing strokes over your cheek. “You’re still here after everything, still moving forward and pushing through everything that was meant to break you down.” He continued, staring down at you with gentle eyes, full of admiration and gratitude.
“You’re not how you see yourself. What happened doesn’t define who you are. You’re better than that, and you’re stronger than what happened.” His forehead rested against yours, still refusing to let go of your face, keeping you pressed close to him, convinced that maybe his touch could drain and replace everything second-thought and memory stirring within you.
You sniffled lightly, shakily nodding your head at his words, the thick wall that guarded you finally cracking slightly, just enough to let his reassurance ease the troubling fog inside your head. “You mean that?” You asked him, swallowing that aching swell in your throat again, like you were forcing the ghosting touch away.
“I mean it, a thousand times over.” He reassured, studying your expression as he pulled back, exhaling softly. “Why don’t we stay here for the rest of the night? They’ll be fine without us, and you need a break. From everything.” He offered, briefly glancing at the door before shifting further onto the mattress.
“Yeah, okay.” You agreed, almost thankful that he offered, letting him adjust your positions as he leaned against the headboard, still cradling you in his lap.
“I’m here, and I’m not leaving. No matter what, I’ll always keep you safe.”
author’s note: this was a little self indulgent? i wrote this based on a personal experience, so i hope others who relate to it can find comfort in reading it as well, and apologies if it’s a little cringe :(
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breakfast and peonies
synopsis: your beloved husband, kento nanami, surprises you with breakfast in bed the morning of your third wedding anniversary, making sure you and the tiny life growing inside you was taken care of.
content warning: mentions of pregnancy, marriage, fluffy sweetness, slice of life, nanami is the best husband ever.
word count: 2.1k
• not my artwork!! credits to the creator of this cutesy fanart <3
The first thing you notice when you wake is the warmth, but not the usual peaceful warmth of your shared bed, or the familiar weight of him resting beside you, but something softer and layered. The sunlight filters through the curtains in gentle streaks, painting golden shadows across the bedroom as you brush your fingertips over the freshly smoothed out sheets, watching the sunlight cast golden rays over your skin. There’s a faint scent lingering in the air, something warm, buttery, and sweet, threaded with the delicate fragrance of fresh flowers.
And then you notice the absence, eyes opening fully as your fingertips instinctively crawl toward the empty space beside you. The indentation in the mattress tells you that he hasn't been gone long, still lingering with the soothing proof of his warmth.
You push yourself up slowly, one hand resting gently over your stomach, cradling the bump with that protective maternal instinct. Five months along, and you’re still getting used to it, the subtle changes of having something growing inside you, like nurturing a blossoming flower. Some mornings are heavier than others, leaving your energy dulled around the edges, but today feels different. It feels lighter somehow, maybe it’s the gentle sunlight, or the way the air smells like something is waiting.
You’re just about to call out his name when the door creaks open, letting him step carefully inside the bedroom, even the usual creaky hinges respecting the quiet morning. Nanami is already dressed, but not in his work attire. Instead, he’s wearing a soft, fitted shirt with the sleeves rolled neatly at his forearms, paired with dark-colored slacks. His hair is still slightly damp, combed back with that same meticulous perfection he applies to everything, but today, there’s a looseness to him, a rare softness that only shows itself when he’s at home with you.
“Good morning, sweetheart.” He says, his voice warm and steady, carefully carrying a wooden tray in his hands.
“Kento?” You blink at him, still slightly dazed from just waking up.
He approaches the bed, movements careful and deliberate, as if he’s handling something far more fragile than a breakfast tray. “You’re awake earlier than I anticipated, love.” He said, a faint hint of amusement in his tone, subtle enough that anyone else might miss it.
“I could say the same about you, Kento.” You retort, shifting so you can sit more upright, propped against the pillows, hand never leaving your growing stomach.
His gaze flickers down to your stomach, just for a moment, but his expression softens in a way that makes your heart flutter warmly. “I had things to prepare, sweetheart,” Nanami replies simply, setting the tray across your lap, giving you a clear view of the breakfast he prepared.
There are pancakes, lightly golden with fresh raspberries and blueberries, and a ceramic jar of syrup placed near the plate. A small dish of fruits, strawberries, grapes, and kiwi, sliced in the way you always preferred. A cup of fresh chamomile tea, accompanied by small cups of creamer and honey, along with a spoon to stir everything.
“Kento, baby..” You whisper, fingers hovering just above the tray, eyes softening with appreciation.
“That’s not all,” Nanami adds, almost an afterthought, shifting just enough for you to catch a glimpse of the flowers. He places a small bouquet beside the tray, soft white peonies mixed with pale blush roses, tied together with a simple ribbon. “Happy anniversary, my dear.” He says softly, the warm smile on his face making your chest swell with adoration.
Three years had passed since the wedding.
Three years of quiet mornings and late evenings with shared dinners after waiting for him to come home, carrying the steady reassurance of his presence. Three years of learning the subtle ways he shows his care, the small adjustments, the silent considerations, and the way he always makes space for you without ever needing to say it aloud.
Your hand trembles slightly as you reach for the flowers, fingertips brushing against the delicate petals. “You remembered the peonies.”
“Of course, I did. They’re your favorite.” Nanami replied like it’s obvious, as if there was never a possibility that he wouldn’t remember. “They were the centerpieces at our wedding. I’ll always remember.”
“Kento, you didn’t have to do all this.” You say softly, blinking back the sudden sting of tears in your eyes.
“Yes, I did.” He says, gentle but firm. “It’s our anniversary, sweetheart.”
You look back at the tray, then at him. “You made all of this?”
“Yes.” He nods.
“You cooked breakfast.” You repeat, a soft disbelieving tone threading through your voice.
Nanami huffs lightly, the noise sounding like a breathless chuckle. “I’m capable of cooking for my wife. More than capable, love.”
A small laugh spills over your lips, something in his expression easing as the lightness of the sound, something motherly and warm. It’s a subtle shift, but you see it in the way his shoulders relax, tension fading away as his lips curve into a subtle smile.
You pour the syrup over the pancakes, cutting a small piece out of the fluffiness, humming in approval at the buttery yet sweet taste. “You woke up early for this, didn’t you?” You ask, glancing at him over the edge of your teacup.
“A little earlier than usual.” He said, happily watching you enjoy the breakfast he prepared.
“How early?” You asked him, raising your eyebrow in curiosity.
“Around six, only an hour earlier.” He said, chuckling lightly at your shocked expression, finding it overwhelmingly endearing.
“Six in the morning? You don’t wake up till seven, seven-thirty at the latest.” You repeat, still a little shocked.
“It gave me more than enough time to make sure everything was perfect for my dear wife.” He explained, emphasizing the wife part.
You stare at him, a slight pout of affection, touched by the sweet gesture. “You could have just taken me out to breakfast, honey.” You hummed, reaching out and gently brushing your fingers across his hand.
“I know, sweetheart. I prefer this, you’ve been exhausted lately.” He says, voice uncharacteristically softening at your light touch.
Your expression falters slightly because you didn’t think he’d notice, since you’ve been trying not to let the exhaustion show too much, along with the way your body doesn’t always cooperate the way it used to. “I wanted you to rest. Today, especially. You deserve it.” Nanami says, his voice quieter now, more intimate.
“You didn’t have to take care of everything on your own.” You say, fingertips reaching out for his wrist, brushing along the gentle curve.
“I don’t mind, love. It’s my responsibility.” He says, placing his hand over yours, stilling the delicate brush of your fingers against his skin, replaced by the own motion of his thumb caressing your palm.
“It’s not just your responsibility, it’s ours.” You counter gently, glancing at him with a light smirk.
He doesn’t respond for a moment, letting his gaze drop down to where your hand rests over his wrist before slowly lifting back to your face, his expression showing more vulnerability than he usually allows. “Yes, you got me there, love.” He says softly, a short, breathless laugh spilling out.
You smile faintly, giving his wrist a gentle squeeze beneath his hand before letting go so you can continue eating the breakfast he prepared. You take your time with the food, savoring each bite, because you know exactly how much care he put into this.
He watches you with a softened expression, taking small bites of the fruit you offer, or the syrupy pieces of pancake you lift toward him with your fork. “Is it acceptable?” He hums, taking a bite of the sliced kiwis.
“Acceptable?” You hum, taking another sip from the honeyed tea.
“The food. Do you like it?” He asks.
You stare at him for a second, shaking your head at his question, a soft laugh slipping over your lips. “Kento, it’s perfect.” You reassure him, setting the ceramic mug aside, then shifting the tray so you can lean toward him a little more. “Come here, honey.”
Nanami doesn’t hesitate, leaning forward slightly, already expecting your affectionate gestures. He laughs lightly as you press a few kisses to his cheek, whispering tiny thank yous as his body flushes with warmth. “You’re welcome, sweetheart, now eat.” He says, brushing your hair away from your face with a gentle sweep.
You smile to yourself, laughing lightly at his thoughtfulness, before returning to your tray of breakfast, still offering him pieces of fruit and pancakes. Once you finish eating, he takes the tray from you, setting it aside on the nightstand before giving you the entirety of his attention.
“Do you feel alright, sweetheart? He asks, fingers carding through your hair softly.
“I do, better than I have been lately.” You respond truthfully, leaning into his gentle touch.
Nanami hums lightly, nodding his head at your answer, his expression flashing with that attentive protectiveness. “Good, now make some room.” He says, adjusting the blanket draped across your lap as he sits on the mattress beside you.
The sunlight shifted with the morning, casting warmer streaks across the room, shining onto the white peonies on the nightstand. You move slightly, resting your head on his shoulder, the soothing familiarity of his presence wrapping around you warmly. “Can you believe it’s already been three years?” You murmur, even saying it leaves you with that surreal feeling.
Nanami shifts against you, draping an arm around your shoulder, gently pulling you closer against him. “They passed by quickly, didn’t they?” He asks, expiring the same level of surreality as his thumb brushes patterns across your shoulder.
“Did you ever think we’d get here?” You ask him, lips pursed together in thought.
“I did, but I never thought it would end up like this.” Nanami answers sincerely.
“Not like this?” You ask, tilting your head slightly, just enough to look up at him with a puzzled expression.
He glances down at you, those hazel eyes softening as they trail down to your stomach, where your hand is still cradling the growing bump. “Better, starting a family together.” He says.
“Our little family.” You whisper, reaching for his hand and gently resting it over your stomach, feeling him still beneath you, like he’s still nervous that pressing too firmly might cause some discomfort.
“I’ve been thinking about the future a lot.” He says quietly, his palm carefully rubbing your stomach, bunching the fabric of your lounge shirt.
“What about it?” You ask, shifting away from his body, staring up at him directly now.
He stays quiet for a moment, eyebrows knitted together as he chooses his words carefully. “Being around more, for the two of you. I know I work a lot, but with the baby, I should be around more.” He finally responds, his voice serious but gentle, like he’s been thinking about this for a while.
Your chest tightens with emotions, staring at him with a faint frown. “Kento, baby. You know, I’d never hold the business of your work schedule against you. You already do so much for the two of us.” You say, trying to reassure him.
His body relaxes slightly, exhaling at your words, appreciating the understanding nature you possess. “There is never enough when it comes to you, to our family.” He says, the words are firm, holding the heaviness of his devotion.
“Hey, look at me.” You whisper, reaching up to gently cup his cheek, shifting his attention to you, revealing the softness cracking through his usual steady composure. “You don’t have to carry everything by yourself, Kento. We’re a team, remember?” You ask him.
He exhales slowly, some of the tension easing from his expression as he nods his head, smiling despite himself. “Yes, I remember, sweetheart.” He hums, shifting slightly to adjust his position, making sure you’re more comfortable resting against him, arm still loosely draped around your shoulders.
“Rest a little longer, we don’t have any responsibilities today,” Nanami says, pressing a tender kiss against the top of your head, briefly catching the faint scent of your shampoo.
“Really? No work?” You ask, surprised.
“I took the day off.” He replies, glancing at you with a smile.
“You really are full of surprises today.” You laugh softly, snuggling a little closer against him, resting your head just below his shoulder, draping an arm across his abdomen.
The room grows quiet again, warm sunlight stretching across the bedroom as your eyes flutter shut again, letting yourself fully relax against him. His hand still rests over your stomach, fingertips tracing idle patterns along the subtle bump, the tender motions lulling you back into the half-awake state, keeping you wrapped in the warmth and gentleness of his presence.
• sigh, i wish nanami was real, anyway bye now!!! hope you enjoyed <3 (might be a little ooc and not fully proofread)
• masterlist.
• jjk masterlist.
Hey!! I just wanted to request a Jonathan Byers x best friend reader fic where the reader is jealous of Nancy and begins to distance herself from Jonathan. They then have a really bad fight, and she confesses her feelings (really angsty please 🙏) thank you!!
hii!! tysm for the request, i finally finished it!! i hope you enjoy it, i try to make it as angsty as possible for you.
linked here <3
An Unrequited Goodbye.
Synopsis: You and Jonathan Byers had been best friends since childhood, inseparable and attached to the hip from the moment you were both old enough to walk until you reached high-school. So, it was nearly impossible not to fall for Jonathan, the same boy who you knew you better than anyone else in Hawkins — But, not all lovestruck high-school girls get their fantasy, especially not when Nancy Wheeler and her perfect smile come into the picture.
Tags: Heavy Dialogue, Angst, Emotional Vulnerability, Unrequited Lovers, Insecurities, Jealousy, Arguing, Avoidance, Friends-Lovers-Strangers, No comfort.
Word Count: 5.8k
The eerie quietness that wraps around you is almost suffocating, like a hug you tried to push through. There wasn’t any calmness in this quiet, and it certainly wasn’t as welcoming as the hushed silence that used to wrap around you and Jonathan like a shared secret when you were still kids.
This was thinner, stretched distantly like a single breath could snap the veil in two, but loud enough to buzz in your ears as you stood at the edge of the separation line of your front yards, dirtied sneakers sinking into the mud that you’ve crossed a thousand times before.
You used to cross the like without thinking, back when the distance between your houses was nothing more than a path you could walk blindfolded. Back when the backroads felt like they belonged to you, two kids with scraped knees and tangled headphones as they traded songs like they were pieces of themselves.
Now, every step feels unsettlingly different, like you’re trespassing on something that doesn’t belong to you anymore. The porch light is still on, flicking in the broken way it always has, casting that familiar flow across the concrete porch. You can practically see it paved with memories, Jonathan sitting there with his camera, hunched over like he’s trying to disappear into it. While you sat beside him, knees knocking together, pretending you didn’t notice how close he was.
But you’ve always noticed things too much.
Your fingers curl tighter around the sleeve of your hoodie, nails hardly digging into the worn fabric. You didn’t mean to come here tonight, telling yourself that it was just an instinct, a stupid muscle memory that had a way of pulling you down this road the same way it always has since childhood.
Only now, you don’t know what you’re supposed to do when you get here, because things aren’t the same, and they haven’t been for a while.
You exhale slowly, breathe visibly in the cool air of the late autumn sky, letting your gaze drift toward his bedroom window. Even at the late hour, it’s still glowing faintly behind the window, because Jonathan was always awake at an hour he shouldn’t be, chasing something you’ve never been able to name.
There was a time when you thought you understood it, and maybe even understood him. You feel your chest tighten at the memories, something uncomfortable aching against your ribs as you shift your weight, debating whether to turn around before anyone sees you standing outside like some kind of ghost that was haunting the veil of his life.
Lately, it feels like that’s all you do, hovering at a distance, watching from the sidelines of something you used to be a part of, something and somewhere you used to belong.
The sound of laughter cuts through the quietness, faint and muffled by the walls of the house, but you could recognize that noise anywhere. It was Jonathan’s laugh, the real one that spilled when no one was forcing him to perform, and it affects you in a way that betrays your logical thoughts instantly.
You hate that it still manages to get a reaction out of you, that after all the distance you’ve forced between the friendship, after the way you’ve been avoiding him like he’s something dangerous, your body still reaches for him as if nothing has changed.
Like he’s still yours, even though he’s not, and the thought lands sharp and precise, slicing through you with brutal precision. As much as it hurts, you’ve gotten good at reminding yourself of it, because if you don’t, you start thinking about the way things used to be, and that’s somehow worse.
Another voice follows after him, lighter and more feminine. Your stomach practically drips before your brain even catches up, immediately recognizing the softness of Nancy Wheeler’s voice. Your jaw tightens instinctively, something bitter curling in your chest as you take a step back, like you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t, even though you haven’t done anything at all.
You just showed up, something you’ve always done, but now it feels like standing outside of something you were slowly being pushed out of, and the worst part was that you didn’t even notice it happening at first. There wasn’t any exact moment where everything shattered, just pieces slowly falling from the glass, leaving chips in a friendship that was fading, slow enough that you were almost able to convince yourself everything was okay.
That you weren’t losing him.
The convincing delusion didn’t last long, not when phone calls went unanswered, and plans went left unplanned, but the biggest giveaway was when he started showing up with her, practically attached to his hip in a way that seemed too friendly for your liking, leaving you with something ugly twisting beneath your veins.
Jonathan was never yours in the way that justified your hatred and jealousy, and you know that, constantly reminding yourself that Nancy never did anything wrong whenever the spikes of jealous rage pulsed beneath your arms. Nancy didn’t purposefully steal him from you or pull him away, she just existed in the orbit of Hawkins.
Yet, Jonathan still chose her, and that’s the part you struggle to swallow every night.
Another laugh drifts from the house, more intimate than the last, hitting you harder than it should have. You feel the familiar ache swelling in your throat, forcing your attention onto the wet patch of mud, blinking as it stains the soles of your sneakers. You remember standing in this exact spot years ago, calling his name one summer night until he came running outside, eyes lighting up the second like you were something worth running toward.
Now, you’re not even sure he knows you’re here.
You swallow hard, blinking against the sting pooling at your waterline, mumbling to yourself about how stupid this was, how you shouldn't have come because it wasn’t going to change anything, but some part of you still hoped, although you didn’t know exactly what you were hoping for.
Maybe he’d be alone?
Maybe things would somehow rewind themselves to before everything got complicated?
Maybe your feelings wouldn’t get in the way of things?
You shake your head at the thoughts, letting out a humorless breath, because you knew that no matter how hard you hoped, things wouldn’t change. For a moment, you just stand there, shoes sinking into the mud puddle, caught between the logical and emotional decisions — caught between holding on and letting go.
The weight of it doesn’t surprise you anymore, like your body has gotten used to the strength it took to hold yourself somewhere in-between, not quite part of his life loudly anymore, but not able to fully walk away either, because how do you walk away from someone who’s been stitched into your life for as long as you can remember.
You don’t, because that takes a level of strength that you don't have, so you just pretend. You put on a performance, pretending that it doesn’t hurt when you see them looking at someone else the way you used to imagine they’d look at you. You pretend it doesn't feel like something inside you is unraveling every time they laugh with someone who isn’t you.
Most importantly, you pretend you’re okay, and you’ve gotten too good at pretending lately.
Another sound fills the silence, the creaking noise from the front door causing your head to snap up instinctively, panic flaring through your chest. You quickly step back, nearly slipping on the mud as you move away from the porch, heart hammering against your ribs like it’s trying to give you away. You don’t even think, reacting unconsciously as you duck beneath the tree near the border of your front yard, hoping that it’ll somehow make you invisible.
It’s ridiculous, but the pride inside you refuses to let him see you like this.
The door opens, hinges creaking as Jonathan steps onto the concrete porch, and for a second, it feels like everything else fades around you. He looks the same and completely different all at once, taller maybe, or thinner. There’s something sharper about him now, something more closed-off. Beneath the sharpness, it’s still the boy who used to sit cross-legged on his bedroom floor with you, rewinding the same song over and over again because you couldn’t get enough of it.
He’s still the same boy you fell in love with.
His sneakers scoff against the concrete, running a hand through his hair in that absentminded way he always does when his thoughts are elsewhere. Nancy follows behind him, lingering in the doorway as she says something that makes his expression soften in a way that makes your chest ache. You feel your stomach drop, the ache swelling in your throat as you notice his expression, the kind of expression you always hoped would be directed at you one day. Your nails dig into your palm, hands trembling from the dull pain as you watch them, unable to tear your eyes away from the innocent encounter.
Nancy smiles at him, something warm and gentle, almost enough to ease the uncomfortable heaviness that rested on your shoulders. Jonathan smiles back, something boyish and small, but real enough to make something inside you shift at the realization that this is exactly why you stopped coming around. This softness shared between them is the exact reason why you started pulling away before you could be pushed out, because you couldn’t keep standing here, watching him choose someone else over you and pretend it didn’t break you a little more each time.
Nancy pushes away from the doorway, brushing his shoulder lightly as she steps off the porch, blissfully unaware of the way his eyes follow her like she’s the only thing in his line of sight that’s worth looking at. There used to be a time when he’d look at you like that, or maybe you just imagined it, but the distinction doesn’t matter anymore since you’ve become a ghost in your own friendship.
You take another step back, the decision stirring slowly in your bones before your mind fully catches up to the realization that you can't stay here like this, not where he can't even see you, not where you're just background noise in his life. The realization aches somewhere in your chest, but there’s a quiet kind of heartbreak that just settles, like something is finally falling into place, even if it's not where you wanted it to land. You turn away before you can second-guess yourself, before you can linger on something that was never really yours to begin with.
After that night, everything changes, and the first day when you don't look at him feels like breaking a habit you never wanted to quit. It starts small, a barely noticeable shift in your gaze when it walks into class, deliberately focusing on the chipped paint of your desk, on the slow drag of your pencil across paper, on anything that wasn’t him. You feel it the moment he steps into the classroom, the subtle change in the air, the way your body recognizes him before your mind wakes up.
It’s pathetic, the way your chest tightens like it’s greeting something familiar, like it’s welcoming home.
You don’t look up when he takes his usual seat, or when his bag hits the floor with that soft thud you could pick out a mile away. You don’t look up when his voice threads quietly through the classroom as he says something to someone that you don't bother trying to figure out, because you could recognize Nancy Wheeler’s voice anywhere now. It’s almost impressive how she’s always around, the consistency of how she follows him around, but it’s never clingy enough for anyone to call out or notice.
But you notice everything when it comes to him, and that’s the problem.
Your fingers tighten around your pen as the teacher starts talking, words blurring into something meaningless. You try to focus, you really do, but your awareness keeps drifting, unconsciously pulling toward the opposite side of the room where he sits. You don't allow yourself to look, strictly forcing your eyes on your blank notebook, because you don’t need to see the way he leans forward whenever she speaks, or the way she tilts her head just enough to meet him halfway, like they already exist in their own orbit.
You close your eyes for a moment, leg bouncing underneath your desk as you try to focus on the reality surrounding you, trying to focus on the uneven handwriting that slanted unevenly across the page like they were trying to escape.
The bell rings loudly, the metallic noise blaring throughout the school, quickly pulling you from your thoughts as you lift yourself from the desk before anyone else has a chance to move. Your chair scrapes harshly against the floor, not even bothering to pack up your things as you head toward the door without a second glance, ignoring whatever nonsense the teacher was explaining about the assignment.
The hallway is crowded, voices overlapping as students exit the classroom, lockers slamming shut, and footsteps echoing against the tile floors. The noise is overwhelming, but it’s something distracting as you move through the crowd with practiced ease, drowning out the cryptic voices in your head.
“Hey.” The sudden voice startles you slightly, your entire body locking up out of instinct, because it’s the one voice you’ve been avoiding all day. You don’t stop walking, sneakers practically forced to move forward as you try to lose yourself in the crowd. “Hey, wait.” His voice calls out, closer this time, too close for your liking.
Your chest tightens painfully, and you pick up your pace even more, slipping between two groups of people like you didn’t hear him, like you don’t know that voice, even though it lives somewhere deep in your bones. When he calls your name, your steps falter for just a second, emotions stirring before you remember what you’re walking away from.
His footsteps quicken behind you, quickly closing the distance you’ve been so desperately trying to maintain since last night. His hand reaches out for your wrist, not forceful or rough, just enough to stop your movements and remind you that he still can. You freeze upon contact, breathing turning shallow and uneven as you stare down at where his fingers curl around your skin.
They feel warm, almost familiar against your cold skin, like a muscle memory your body knows before your heart has time to digest, and you despise it. “Can you—” His voice is softer now, uncertain in a way you’ve never heard from him before. “Can you just stop for a second?”
You don’t turn around, because you can’t. If you do, everything you’ve been trying to hold together will fall apart.
“I’m gonna be late to class.” You say, your voice coming out quieter than you intended, flat and detached, completely unlike you, but it’s the only version of yourself that you can manage.
His grip tightens slightly, not enough to hurt, just enough to keep you from moving away. “You’ve been late before.” He replies lightly, but there’s something else beneath his tone; it’s not quite frustration or hurt, it’s something in between.
“That was different.” You reply evenly, still refusing to look at him while the silence after your words stretches uncomfortably between you, enough to feel the weight of it pressing against the empty space.
“[Y/N], what’s going on?” He says again, quieter this time.
You let out a small breath through your nose, something almost like a laugh but not quite. “It’s nothing, Jonathan.” Your response is automatic, the same answer you’ve been repeating for days, because it’s easier that day, but except it’s not when he doesn't let go.
“Don’t do that,” Jonathan replies.
“Don’t do what?” You ask, pretending to be oblivious, even though your chest is tightening beneath your shirt.
“Pretend like everything’s fine.”
That one almost makes you laugh for real, because that’s all you’ve ever done. “I’m not pretending anything.” You say, finally pulling your wrist free from his grasp, the absence of his touch feels immediate against your skin. You turn slightly, not directly facing him, but keeping him in your peripheral vision as you look past him. “I have stuff to do.” You mumbled the weak excuse.
“Since when do you have stuff to do that doesn’t involve me?” The question lands heavier than he probably intended, letting it sit sharply and uncomfortably against your chest.
Since when?
Since he stopped choosing you.
But you don't say that.
“People change, Jonathan.” You respond flatly, trying to ignore the flicker of emotions across his face, confusion, hurt, maybe even a little bit of anger.
“Yeah, I guess they do.” He says slowly, and the way it sounds, leaving his lips makes your stomach twist, because it sounds like he's not just talking about you.
And, maybe he's not. Maybe he’s referring to himself as well, but you don’t stick around late enough to find out. You turn fully this time, walking away and burying your hands in your pockets before he can stop you again, before he can say something else that might make you hesitate.
By the time the last bell rings, your chest feels hollower than usual. It doesn’t feel lighter or relieved, just empty, like you’ve carved something out of yourself and left nothing in its place. You sling your backpack over your shoulder, sluggishly approaching the front porch outside your house, trying to ignore the instinctive pull that always brought you to his house. You sink onto the concrete porch, pulling your knees closer to your chest as the chilly breeze brushes against your skin.
It should feel calming, but it doesn’t, because your mind keeps replaying what happened in the hallway. It keeps tracing back to the way he said your name, and especially the way he looked at you, with that same warmth you’ve grown to love. You squeeze your eyes shut, rubbing your hands exhaustedly over your face, exhaling heavily into your palms, knowing that you can’t keep pretending like you don’t feel everything all at once because you feel it entirely too much.
You feel it every time he walks into a room.
Every time his laughter fills the silence.
Every time he looks at her with that look.
Especially when he looks at her.
A sharp breath leaves your lips, shaky and uneven as the logicality finally catches up with those buried emotions, unable to run away from the fact that you love Jonathan Byers.
“[Y/N]?”
Your head immediately snaps up at the sudden voice, heart dropping into your stomach as Jonathan stands by the edge of your front yard. You stare at him from a distance, wide-eyed and frozen, like you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t. Which maybe you have, because this distance and silence isn’t you, and you both know that, but it’s the only way you know how to survive this.
“What are you doing here?” You ask, voice sounding sharper than you intended.
He flinches at the sharpness, expression tilting as he fumbles with his words. “I don’t—” He hesitates, running a hand through his hair. “You left. Again.”
“That’s kind of what people do after school. My mom wanted me home.” You reply evenly, voice filled with deflection, because that’s always been easier than honesty, except he’s never been the person to let you get away with it.
“Stop.” He says, firmly, but still soft enough to make you hesitate. “I mean it, [Y/N]. Just stop doing that.” He finishes, gesturing toward you loosely.
“Doing what, Jonathan?” You snap, frustration bubbling up before you can recognize it. “Stop living my life?”
“Shutting me out.” He says, keeping his voice to a minimum, but the words hit with the same weight as if he were yelling them.
You stare at him blankly, something unreadable cracking in your expression. “I’m not shutting you out.” You say, but it sounds weak and unconvincing as it leaves your tongue, because you both know it’s not true.
“Then what is this?” He asks, gesturing between the two of you again. “Because you won’t talk to me, you won’t look at me, you won’t even stand in the same room as me anymore.” He added on, but his voice wasn’t angry. It was hurt and confused, like he genuinely doesn’t understand what’s happening, and that’s what finally breaks something inside you.
“You really want to know what this is?” You ask him, voice shaking despite your best efforts to keep it steady. He doesn’t answer your question, just watches you, like his silence is all the answer you need. You let out a shaky breath, pushing yourself to your feet. “Fine, you want to know? I’ll tell you.” You say, heart pounding so heavily it feels like it might burst out of your chest.
You could easily stop this with a brief lie and walk away while pretending this confrontation never happened, but you don’t. You’re too tired to keep pretending, too tired of bottling up your emotions and hurting in silence. “You want to know why I’ve been avoiding you?” Your voice cracks with each syllable. “It’s because I can’t look at you without feeling like this.”
“Feeling like what?” Jonathan asks, his brows furrowing in confusion.
You scoff softly, almost in disbelief, because after all this time, he really doesn’t know. “I love you!” The words rip out of your throat, loud and raw, completely out of control. “Okay? I love you, and I have for a while now, and it’s killing me.” You finish, voice cracking completely, tears spilling over before you could stop them.
The silence that follows your confession is heavy and thick, unforgiving as Jonathan stands there, staring at you like the world has tilted off its axis, and maybe it has, because there’s no going back after this, no matter what his response is.
“I see you with her every day, and everywhere.” You continue, your voice trembling as you angrily wipe away the tears cascading down your cheek. “And I know it’s stupid, I know she didn’t do anything wrong, but I can’t help but hate it. I hate her for it, and I hate myself even more for feeling that way.”
Your chest heaves with uneven breaths, fingertips trembling against your side. “I can’t be around you like that, Jonathan. I can’t sit there and pretend I’m okay with watching you fall for someone else.”
His expression shifts almost instantly, something pained flickering across his face. “[Y/N], I–” He tries to explain, but you cut him off before he could even start.
“No, don’t. Don’t say anything.” You say, shaking your head, because you already know. You’ve always known that he doesn’t love you like that, but hearing him say it out loud would destroy you. “I– I just needed space. That’s all.” You explain, voice softening, breaking differently than before.
Jonathan swallows hard, his gaze searching your face like he’s trying to find something, maybe an answer, or maybe an opening to let him fix this, but this time there isn’t one. “You should’ve told me.” He says quietly, and a hollow laugh escapes you.
“Then what? What would have changed if I told you?” You question him, but he doesn’t answer, because he knows absolutely nothing would have changed. You take a step back, putting space between you, more final than before. “I’m sorry, Jonathan.” You whisper sincerely, because you actually mean it for once.
You’re sorry for the distance.
For the silence.
And, for loving him in a way he could never return.
He opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but whatever it is, never comes out, and maybe that’s for the best, because some things don’t need to be said to hurt. You give him one last look, not lingering or hopeful, something final as your hand reaches for the doorknob. You don’t even remember reaching for it. One second, you were standing there, everything inside you splitting open and spilling onto the ground between you, and the next, your fingers are curling around the cold metal like it’s the only thing keeping you upright.
It’s grounding, only because it gives you something to hold onto that isn’t him. The wooden door presses faintly against your forehead as you lean into it, your breath uneven as your chest rises and falls too fast. You can hear the sound of your heartbeat, loud and frantic, echoing in your ears like it’s trying to drown everything else out. It doesn’t work because he’s still here, lingering behind you. Jonathan was never the type to walk away from something unfinished, not when it mattered, and certainly not when it came to you, love or not.
Something broken catches in your throat, quickly pressing your lips together hard enough that it almost hurts as you try to keep it in, because you don’t want him to hear you like this. You don’t want him to see what he’s done to you, and that’s not fair to either of you. The thought comes sharp and immediate, cutting through the haze of emotion, the realization that it was never something he did, but what you did, settling heavily on your conscience.
You’re the one who let it grow into this, into something too heavy and impossible to carry quietly. You’re the one who turned every shared moment into something more, who read between the lines that were never meant to be noticed. He never promised you anything, he never looked at you and said, you’re mine.
That was all you, and now you’re the one paying for it as another tear slips free, despite your effort, trailing warmly down your cheek before falling off your chin, then another, and another. You squeeze your eyes shut, grip tightening on the doorknob as your shoulders start to shake, but you don't turn around to face him. You can’t, because if you look at him and see the pity or confusion in his expression, you’re going to fall apart in a way that you won’t be able to come back from.
So, you face the door and keep your back turned to him like it’s the only defense you have left. Behind you, the silence stretches, almost unbearable. You can still feel him there, standing on the edge of your yard, probably looking at you the same way he always does when something doesn’t make sense, like he’s trying to piece it together, trying to fix something that can’t be fixed. Your fingers twitch slightly against the metal, feet unmoving, refusing to walk away while everything is left unfinished and unsaid.
Your voice comes out quiet, barely above a whisper. “Just tell me.”
You hear the shift behind you, subtle, but it’s there. His shoes crunch on the leaves beneath his feet as he moves forward, just slightly, still hesitant to cross that edge. “What?” He asks, voice cautious, like he’s afraid of saying the wrong thing.
A shaky breath escapes you, forehead pressing more firmly against the cracked wooden door. “Just tell me, Jonathan.” You repeat, a little clearer this time, even though your voice still trembles. “Please, just tell me.”
“Tell you what?” He asks, the confusion lingering in the air between you, thick and uncertain, because, of course, he needs you to say it out loud.
You swallow hard, throat tightening with an aching swell as your chest feels like it’s being pressed down on. “Jonathan…” You whisper, the sound of his name breaking on your tongue, voice sounding painfully softer than you intended. “I need you to say it.” You manage, squeezing your eyes shut, like that might help prevent yourself from breaking in front of you.
Another pause of silence fills the space, stretching longer than the last before he speaks up again.
“Say what?” He questions gently, but there’s something in his tone, almost desperate, that makes something twist painfully around your bleeding heart, because even after everything, it sounds like he still cares.
Just not in the way you need him to.
The metal handle creaks underneath the tightening pressure of your fingers, inhaling sharply as your voice falters. “You need to tell me who you love.” You manage to choke out the words, each syllable cracking against your lips, struggling to push the words out.
The words hang there, heavy and final in a way neither of you expected, and the silence that follows explains the expected request in a way that’s suffocating. You can hear everything beneath the sound of your breathing, the wind brushing against the tree branches, the faint scuff of your shoes as you shift your weight against the concrete porch, but behind, there’s nothing.
Jonathan doesn't speak or move, almost like the entire world is frozen as it waits for his answer.
Your nails press into the wooden door, hand slipping from the handle to brace yourself against the surface as your knees threaten to give out. “Say it.” You whisper, voice breaking completely now, nearly begging him. “Just say it, Jonathan. I can’t keep wondering.”
And, you truly can’t, because holding onto the unknown, something that was never real, but felt like it was, is the worst part in all of this. Behind you, there’s a movement, a brief step forward, an inch toward closing the large distance between your bodies. You can feel it, the shift in the air as his presence grows closer, and your entire body tenses in reaction, but you refuse to look at him.
“[Y/N].” He calls out, his voice quiet and cautious in a way that almost undoes you.
“Don’t.” You cut in quickly, shaking your head even though he can barely see it. “Don’t say my name like that. Just answer the question.”
Another pause follows, like he’s bracing himself, like he’s trying to steady his voice to give you an answer, and that’s what gives it away, because if it were ever you, then he’d never have to hesitate to answer. “I-I… I care about you.” He says first, like that might soften what’s coming next, and it’s enough to shatter something bitter deep inside your chest.
“Jonathan, please. I need the truth, even if it hurts me.” You whisper. Voice raw with pleading desperation, aching to get away from his half-answers and cautious wording.
He exhales softly, expression shifting into something pained, even though you can’t see it. “I love Nancy.” Jonathan finally admits, simple and clean, unavoidable and unmistakable.
The three words land like a physical blow, harshly knocking the air from your lungs, leaving your chest tightening uncomfortably. For a second, you feel like you can’t breathe or even think properly, everything just stops with something intensified and painful. Your fingers curl into the wooden door, posture going rigid as the reality of it slowly settles in.
You knew what to expect, you knew what he would say, but hearing him say it aloud made it real in a way it never was before, because now it’s finally closing the door of possibly you’ve been clawing at for years. It locks away every maybe you’ve told yourself, every small ounce of hopeful desperation is gone, just like that.
A broken sound escapes before you even have the time to stop it, something small and wounded, completely unlike yourself. You clamp your hand over your mouth instantly, as if you were trying to shove the sound back down your throat, like you can hide the way you’re falling apart right here in front of you, but it’s too late, everything is too late.
“I’m sorry, [Y/N].” He says quickly, the words rushing out like he’s trying to figure something that can’t be repaired. “I didn’t want to hurt you.” He whispered as another sound ripped out of you.
The sound is sharper this time, not quite a sob, but somewhere in between. “Don’t. Don’t apologize for that.” You choke out, shaking your head as tears stream freely down your face.
Because what else is he supposed to do?
Lie?
Pretend?
No, that’s not what you want. You never wanted that, all you wanted was something real, and he can’t give you that, no matter how hard you both try. You take another shaky breath, forcing your hand away from your mouth, even though it leaves your emotions exposed, even though he can already hear every broken piece of you now. “That’s all I needed to hear.” You say quietly, and saying it hurts more than anything you’ve ever felt, but it’s clear.
There’s no confusion or uncertainty left behind, just the truth, the ugly truth that left a bitter taste in your mouth. Finally, you push yourself away from the door, hand lingering on the wooden material before falling to your side again. You don’t turn around or look at him, because if you do, you might not be able to walk away, and you have to walk away from this.
“I think this is where I leave.” You say, voice wavering, but you push through it even though the words feel strange on your tongue, too final for your liking, as if you’re closing a chapter you never wanted to end.
Behind you, you hear him shift again, trying to move close enough to reach out for you. “[Y/N], wait.” He tries to say, but you cut him off quickly, shaking your head.
“No.” You whisper, quietly but firmly. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be your friend like this. It’s not fair, to you or me.” You finish off, and the stretch of silence is heavy with the reality of it, the understanding that this is a goodbye to a decade-long friendship.
You take a step forward, pushing open the door, the creaking sound settling uncomfortably through the air, like it’s aching along with your heart, like it knows you’re stepping away from something you never wanted to leave. “I hope she makes you happy, Jonathan.” You say sincerely, ignoring the way your vision blurred with unshed tears.
It’s the hardest thing you’ve ever said, and it’s the most honest, because despite the jealousy, the anger, and the heartbreak, you want the absolute best for him, even if it’s not with you. You don’t wait for a response, because if you do, you might not ever walk away, and it’ll all be for nothing.
So, you push open the door, the warmth of the house drastically different from the coldness outside, like it’s welcoming all the heartbreak coursing through your body as you close the door behind you, ending the chapter that you never wanted to say goodbye to.
• this was a req, so i really hope whoever requested this fic enjoyed it!
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synopsis: loudness and parties have never been you’re thing, especially after the fall semester of college, something that left you with the heavy baggage of anxiety and ptsd, triggered by something as easy as laughter. you never expected it to get this bad, and you never expected to need someone to guide you through it, until megumi finds you tucked away in his room.
content warning: mentions of past abuse, mental health, emotional vulnerability, self-doubt, angst w/ comfort, soft megumi. (not entire proofread)
word count: 1.8k
The muffled voices and laughter barely filtered through the closed bedroom door, still loud enough to briefly catch phrases, but inaudible enough to understand the full context of the conversation
You slipped away not too long ago, too overwhelmed with the constant noise and loudness that left your shoulders tighter than usual. The last few days haven’t been the best, falling into that familiar state of misery as the summer season shifted into autumn.
It used to be your favorite season, always enjoying being able to watch the trees slowly change colors, the cozy sweaters that came with the bitter breeze, and Halloween festivities. That was until your freshman semester, when you found yourself entangled with the wrong people, falling into bad habits that left you with heavy baggage, making happiness seem impossible.
You barely managed through the freshman year, practically a zombie walking through campus, eyes too dark and heavy for someone with such a bright future. There were times when you doubted yourself, and your capabilities, too warped in the memories you wanted to claw out of your skull.
Then you met him. Megumi Fushiguro showed up in your life unexpectedly, but cliche. The two of you were paired for an assignment, spending nights studying together until you became inseparable, and slowly blended into each other’s personal lives.
And, that’s how you ended up tucked away in his bedroom, hiding from the liveliness of your friends because your head was such a fucked up place, it didn’t know how to differentiate safety and danger anymore, labeling any volume of loudness as DANGER.
You were tucked away by the corner of his bed, legs pulled closely to your chest, blankly staring out the window, watching the multi-colored leaves falling from the large trees. The more you drifted away from reality, the more memories started to resurface, leaving your body tight and tense with the ghosting sensation of someone’s hands around your throat.
Your eyes shut tightly, lashes pressed flat against your cheek, forcing down that lump of unwanted emotions as your throat swelled with that aching sensation, leaving your chest heaving with each breath. The tears silently spilled down your face the moment you opened your eyes again, secretly wishing the release of tears would get rid of this uncomfortable sensation in your throat before your hands started clawing at the skin.
Everything suddenly felt suffocating, like each breath physically hurt to take, pushing uncomfortably against your ribs. You inhaled sharply, hands shakily pressing against your neck, like you were trying to pull away some unseen force, like you were back in the room trying to squirm out of his grasp.
It felt like hours were passing, like the memories trapped you in some alternate dimension, forcing you to relive that moment that left you damaged for life, forcing you to remember the weight of someone who was supposed to protect you, press against you with a pressure that was too suffocating to be affectionate.
You gasped loudly, a shaky sob shortly sneaking past your lips, trying to do anything to ground you back into reality, even focusing on the loud sound of laughter that sent you spiraling in the first place, trying to remind yourself that it was safety sounds, that you were safe in this wave of loudness.
The episode was so intense, you didn’t even notice the faint creak of the bedroom door, only recognizing how the loudest suddenly felt too clear to be separated by something. You shifted slightly, shoulders bunching together like you were bracing yourself, looking at the door with glossy eyes.
Megumi stood by the door, a little thrown off guard by your panicked expression, his heart immediately falling into his stomach. He recognized the signs instantly, understanding what loud noises can do to you, understanding how bad certain things can send you spiraling within seconds, and that’s exactly why he knew he’d find you hidden in his bedroom.
He pushed forward slowly, moving with careful motions, afraid that the wrong move might send you spiraling even further. “Hey, hey. It’s just me, babe.” Megumi said softly, holding his hands up when he noticed you flinched, attempting to let you know he wasn’t going to hurt you.
You sniffed a couple of times, wiping away the tears with the sleeve of the hoodie you stole from his closet. “Gumi?” You mumbled, voice shaky and broken, another clear indication of your distress that made his heart ache painfully.
“Yeah, baby. It’s just me.” He reassured lightly, a soft, soothing smile curving over his expression. “I’m gonna sit down, okay?” His hands rested on the further spot on the mattress, waiting until you gave him permission before moving any closer.
You nodded weakly, hiccuping on your own tears, desperately trying to relax, but failing miserably. “Sorry, I disappeared. I-I got overwhelmed.” You whispered, stuttering between each heavy breath, nearly making yourself hyperventilate.
Megumi shook his head immediately, cautiously inching closer, hands aching to reach and pull you into an embrace. “No, no. Don’t apologize, it’s okay.” He reassured you, eyes softening with an expression that was only ever given to you. “I was worried about you. Are the memories bothering you?” He admitted, voice dropping in volume as he hesitated to ask.
Something soft and broken catches in your throat, fingers trembling as they curl around the sleeve of the hoodie. “I just wish they would stop, Gumi.” You admitted, voice coated with defeat and exhaustion. “It’s like my brain is in a state of constant fight or flight, I just– I need it to stop.” You exhaled, hands pushing back your hair, looking over him with something mixed with frustration and sorrow.
He reached out slowly, eyes studying you, searching for any sign of resistance as he pulled your hands away from your face, gently holding them in his grasp. “I know, babe, I know you do.” He whispered, thumbs brushing over your scarred knuckles.
“You went through something traumatizing, it’s okay to not be fully healed. It’s only been a year, it’s okay to have episodes like this.” Megumi tried to reassure you, physically hurting to see you struggle with such deep emotional turmoil.
“I wanna be over it, I don’t wanna feel it anymore.” You cried, tears silently spilling down your face again, leaving your face glistening with the memories of something horrible.
Megumi didn’t hesitate this time, immediately pulling you into his embrace, his body tensing slightly from the contact, but easing when you buried yourself against his chest. He didn’t shush you or tell you to calm down, because he knew you needed an emotional outlet more than anything. He held you securely against his chest, fingers lightly combing through the strands of your hair, listening to every muffled babble you spewed against him.
“I know, baby. Let it out, I’m here.” He whispered, hands lightly ghosting over your back, trying to ease the tension that made your body tighten with each breath.
The minutes passed, and your body nearly forced out every tear it could produce, leaving your eyes puffy and swollen, matching the overwhelming emotions stirring beneath your heated skin. “I’m sorry… If I ruined the get-together.” You whispered against him, a sudden wave of guilt tumoring through you.
Megumi froze for a second, your whispered apology landing heavier than anything else that had happened. He pulled back slightly, palms trembling with hesitation as he carefully cupped your face, guiding you to look up at him. “No, don’t apologize for that. You have nothing to apologize for.” He said, softly but firmly, dark eyes glossing with emotion.
“I just feel bad—” You tried to explain yourself, but he cut you off immediately.
“No. Stop, don’t feel bad for anything. You never have to apologize for having an episode.” He continued, shaking his head slightly. “I could care less about what’s happening out there, I’m more worried about my girlfriend, who's been in a constant battle with her own mind.” He said, thumbs gently wiping away your tears.
You smiled weakly, almost forcing yourself to believe his words, but the guilt still gnawed at you, heavy and unrelenting. “It’s just… Sometimes I feel bad that I’m like this, ya know? I carry so much baggage, and you’re picking up the pieces to something you didn’t break.” You admitted, voice lowering instinctively, briefly looking away from him.
His eyes widened, blinking a few times at your words, heart aching so painfully he would have thought someone ripped it out of his chest. His thumb stilled against your cheek, holding you a little firmer, touch trembling against your skin as his own tears briefly glossed over his eyes.
“Please, don’t. I never want you to feel bad for that.” Megumi said, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “I met you months after everything happened, I saw all the bad moments, and I stayed because I love you.” He said, nodding faintly like he was asking you if you heard him.
“I love you through every bad and good moment, through every memory, through every piece of the past that haunts us both. I’ll pick up the broken shards forever, as long as it takes.” He explained.
“Why? Why waste your time on someone damaged like me?” You asked him, voice cracking with emotion, staring up at him with that overthinking expression.
“Because you’re not damaged. You were never damaged, especially not to me. You’re the strongest person I know, and I admire that so much. Sometimes, I’m envious of your strength.” Megumi said, a soft huff of laughter spilling over his larger lips.
Your head tilted slightly, shocked and confused by his words. “You’re envious of me?”
“I am.” He nodded firmly, thumb returning back to its soothing strokes over your cheek. “You’re still here after everything, still moving forward and pushing through everything that was meant to break you down.” He continued, staring down at you with gentle eyes, full of admiration and gratitude.
“You’re not how you see yourself. What happened doesn’t define who you are. You’re better than that, and you’re stronger than what happened.” His forehead rested against yours, still refusing to let go of your face, keeping you pressed close to him, convinced that maybe his touch could drain and replace everything second-thought and memory stirring within you.
You sniffled lightly, shakily nodding your head at his words, the thick wall that guarded you finally cracking slightly, just enough to let his reassurance ease the troubling fog inside your head. “You mean that?” You asked him, swallowing that aching swell in your throat again, like you were forcing the ghosting touch away.
“I mean it, a thousand times over.” He reassured, studying your expression as he pulled back, exhaling softly. “Why don’t we stay here for the rest of the night? They’ll be fine without us, and you need a break. From everything.” He offered, briefly glancing at the door before shifting further onto the mattress.
“Yeah, okay.” You agreed, almost thankful that he offered, letting him adjust your positions as he leaned against the headboard, still cradling you in his lap.
“I’m here, and I’m not leaving. No matter what, I’ll always keep you safe.”
author’s note: this was a little self indulgent? i wrote this based on a personal experience, so i hope others who relate to it can find comfort in reading it as well, and apologies if it’s a little cringe :(
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𐙚⋆.˚ Satoru Gojo has always been cocky, and that only heightened when the new heir of Zen’in clan showed up with hate oozing from her veins, practically begging to be fucked into the mattress. MDNI.
The room echoed with the sound of broken moans, muffled by the rough hand that forced you down onto the pillows, your hair sprawled out messily across the soft covering.
“C’mon, baby. You can take it, right?” Gojo whispered in your ear, voice dripping with that condescending tone that made your pussy flutter around his cock.
You babbled incoherently, weak protest spilling over your swollen lips, too absorbed in the overwhelming pleasure he fucked into your sweet, gushing cunt. “Mmhp! Can take it, please.” You whined loudly, feeling his movements slowing at your lack of response.
Gojo smirked in response, his ego only driving higher as he plowed you into the sheets, watching you crumble beautifully beneath his heated touch. His fingers latched onto the supple stretch of your waist, while the other pushed against the middle of your back; deepening the arch.
“There ya go, sweetheart.” He hummed, keeping your body positioned pliantly, exactly to his liking and nothing less. “Wasn’t so hard, just gotta use that pretty voice of yours.” He praised, letting his fingertips trace idle patterns across your spine.
His cock brushed against the sweetened hilt buried inside you, repeatedly fucking into that sponginess as your body withered from the pleasure, thighs trembling heavily, slick soaking every inch of his cock. The tightness of your cunt clenches around him, pulsing against his twitching cock, stomach bubbling with tension at every deep thrust laid into you.
Your fingertips roughly latched onto the rustled sheets beneath you, holding onto them so tightly until your knuckles ached from the grip. You were just coming down from your last drawn out orgasm, body still high with intensity, but Gojo refuses to let up, wanting to leave you nothing more than a blabbering, dripping mess on his mattress.
Gojo leaned forward, chest pressing against your back, caging you beneath him as his lips pressed sloppy kisses across your shoulder blades. “Filthy little heir,” He whispered between kisses, the mocking smirk evident as he pressed against you.
“Always acting so intimidating, always saying you hate me,” Gojo said, voice carrying that dominant whine, disguised beneath his tongue as his hands glided across your smooth skin. “All you needed was to be fucked into the mattress, like the fucking brat you are.” He whispered in your ear, pulling back just enough to land a stinging strike across your ass.
You protested weakly, the huffs of annoyance blending in with the forced-out moans of submission that were muffled by the pillows as your fingertips clawed at the silk coverings. “Mm, fuck you, Satoru.” You mumbled in between broken whines of pleasure, hatred for the cocky sorcerer still stirring as he fucked you thoroughly.
Gojo huffed a breathless chuckle, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as an expression of amusement painted across his face, pleased with your little show of distaste. His hand reached for the strands of your hair, roughly yanking you forward until your back pressed firmly against his chest.
“Such a dirty mouth for a pretty little slut like yourself,” Gojo whispered against your ear, nipping at the sensitive skin as the degradation made your stomach stir with aching pressure. “Hate me all you want, baby, but I’ll train you into a sweet toy for me to use.”
You felt him smirk against you, sweat clinging to your bodies as his cock reached deeper inside of you, bruising your abused walls with antagonizing slow, and sensual thrusts. His free hand snaked around your body, possessively flattening against your stomach, pushing down on the slight bulge as his hips rutted into you.
“Go ahead, tell me you hate when I’m fucking you like this,” He coaxed, fingers tightening around the tangled strands of your hair. “Don’t tell me you’re shy now, baby, use that dirty mouth for me.” Gojo encouraged, possessive hand trailing down to your dripping pussy, fingertips pressing against your clit and drawing circles around it.
“I hate—” You attempted to retort, being cut off as his fingers bullied you with pleasure, hastily teasing your clit as his other hands dropped from your hair, letting your head dip forward before roughly pushing his fingers past your lips.
He chuckled tauntingly, eyebrows knitting together in fake pity as you gagged around his fingers, pressing the calloused digits flat against your tongue. “Hm? What was that, baby?” He tsk-ed, his own release stirring with his abdomen, feeling his balls pulsing as your pussy fluttered around him, clearly enjoying his condescending behavior entirely too much.
The annoyance in your veins was almost as thick as the overwhelming pleasure, almost. His cock stretched you sweetly, every vein dragging along your sobbing cunt, glistening with the honeyed slick that squelched with each sensual thrust. Your hands reached for his forearm, fingertips clawing at his skin, weakly and loosely, too dazed to listen to the hatred you thought you had.
Gojo felt your pussy tighten around him, walls clamping around him that he was convinced you were purposefully trying to milk him dry. His fingers never stopped working your clit, applying soft pressure to the abused bud, bringing you closer to your edge until a creamy white ring formed at the base of his cock.
“Say please, baby. Say please and I’ll let you come all over my cock.” He instructed you, voice firm but shaky as his own orgasm twitched through his shaft, balls pulsating as the rush of liquid squirted from your pussy, dripping onto the mattress beneath you.
“Please, Toru. Wanna come, fuck, please.” You begged, salvia spilling down your chin as his fingers stilled in your mouth, refusing to leave the tasteful warmth as he ravaged you.
“Go on, then. Make a mess while I pump this pussy full of my cum.” Gojo hummed, hips rutting into you relentlessly as you clamped down on him, thick ropes of warm cum spilling inside you as you coated his cock with the creaminess of your release.
The sound of aspirated breathing filled the bedroom, the smell of sex and cum clinging to the fogged windows and clean linen as you both slowly came down your intensified orgasms, bodies nearly falling into the mattress.
Gojo carefully guided you onto the mattress, softening cock slipping from the wetness of your spent pussy as he untangled your bodies, gently letting you rest against his chest, smirking proudly at your lack of resistance and protest.
“Still hate me, baby?”
𐙚⋆.˚ oh my goodness, this is my first time writing jjk smut since 2022, im returning to my roots (i just rewatched the shibuya arc and needed to distract myself from my husband’s death)
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hi, guys!!
i wanted to give a little update on the schedule of my fics. they are going to come out a little slower than usual due to health problems i’m currently experiencing. the last couple of months i’ve been struggling with really bad and chronic headaches that leave me feeling dizzy, weak, and extremely sensitive to lighting. lately they’ve gotten a lot worse and my doctor had advised me to limit my screen time to focus on my health.
this isn’t me saying i won’t be posting anymore or discounting anything, i just have to limit myself a little bit. i will keep posting and making new pieces, as well as finishing up some requests. i’m also thinking about making a discord server so i can keep everyone updated and maybe even make a few new friends — so you let me know if you’d be interested.
also, i might be changing my username soon! i wanted to warn everyone before i change it, it’ll most likely get changed to ditzyfawn or something like that.
anyway, thank you!! mwah love you all.