feeling so sad rn and not having anyone i can talk to about it is shit. the friend i would’ve talked to about it broke up with me because… well i don’t know the exact reason because she couldn’t tell me (which i don’t judge her for or feel like she owes it to me so i’ve moved on) but it was after a night i got too drunk and i understand that it was my fault. she made up her mind about me so there’s no going back there.
i just feel really alone rn.
i have been trying so hard to protect my own peace and of course one night just ruins it all.
why can’t “no” just mean “no”.
i’m tired of doing what other people ask. tired of pleasing other people through fear of what might end up happening. the other night i was in a sketchy situation but once again i failed to protect myself and bowed down to the needs of others because at the time i cared more about how they were going to react… which ended up backfiring anyway because later on in the night, they did exactly what i thought they’d do.
it was a lose-lose, for nothing.
