You can call me Mallory. I'm bodily 21 years, but I am ageless. Asexual, Aromantic, Greyplatonic, Afamilial-spec; Agender, I use it/its pronouns. Alterhuman

View this blog as a secret vent account, or more like a personal diary. It's meant to unmask freely, but to also keep track of my symptoms.

Undeniably, it will contain triggering content; that will be tagged, mentionned at the top of the post, and with a "read more" if anything graphic. So please, beware and put your safety first!!

Activity on/off on this blog. Please don't PM, ASKs are welcome!

I see many posts on here trying to fight against the received idea that schizospec people can't love, even in times of (quasi-)psychosis; which is great, and I heavily agree with the gist of it.

But for me, that is not true. I don't feel love; sexual, romantic, platonic, familial, animals and pets, even most objects... Every type of love that one can experience for another being, I am, at best, lacking of it.

It took me a while to acknowledge it, mainly because I am caring and warm towards others, even if I rarely feel it. Same with empathy, I have fluctuating/low/no emotional empathy; but I do have high cognitive empathy, high sympathy, and high compassion. I guess that it makes me mask all of it well... Another thing may be because I experience obsession and dependency, which may look like love, but isn't.

I guess that some people here relate to that, and some others that do, but that cannot mask that; whether it is by only being schizospec, or by other comorbid disorder(s). In any case, you are valid and matter as much as those who do love!!