My mind has me 110% convinced every problem in my life would be solved if I was thin
I know it’s not true, but I still believe it
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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

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Claire Keane
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@distractionyy
My mind has me 110% convinced every problem in my life would be solved if I was thin
I know it’s not true, but I still believe it

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Just in case anyone was wondering..
I only apply my strict body standards to myself. I think other girls look AMAZING all curvy and shit and I do not judge them by their weight or body type whatsoever. I only need myself to be tiny.
I feel like this is important to share :)
No, no, seriously. I WISH I looked like some of the curvier women I know, they are well proportioned, feminine, confident, in love with the world around them and my god are they beautiful. I just happen to look like a sack of potatoes stuffed in a sock.
Omg yes. I got such an ugly body shape and I think if it was okay I’d probably be okay with my weight too.
Every time I start trusting people, they show me why I shouldn’t.
Life (via deepvsadness)
Fall in love with someone who wants you, who waits for you, who understands you even in the madness. Someone who helps you, and guides you, someone who is your support, your hope. Fall in love with someone who talks with you after a fight. Fall in love with someone who misses you and wants to be with you. Do not fall in love only with a body or with a face, or with the idea of being in love.
A.K. (via deepvsadness)
Because who would choose a daisy in a field of roses?
(via deepvsadness)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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The only people up at 3am are in love, lonely, drunk or all three.
3:20 (via deepvsadness)
You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself but you killed everyone else around you too.
Just because you’re not underweight doesn’t mean that you are any less sick, worthy or in need of help.
This is so important and large part of why it took me so long to figure out that I need to recover.
I wish more people are aware of this.
This used to drive me so crazy at my lw. I went from overweight to underweight but only just barely. I went from 147 to 107, I lost 40 lbs and while people realized I had an ed, I was never super fucking thin or sick etc. People envied me, congratulated me, wanted to be me. If I lost 40 lbs at 120 People would have lost their shit..
When you kill yourself you don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. You see the darkness you craved to be a park of.
…
You were alone before they left you.
(via deepvsadness)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself but you killed everyone else around you too.
My problem:i don't want to eat 'cause I'm fat. But I eat. And everytime I eat, i hate myself a little more.
this is a slow process. it doesn’t just magically happen overnight, that’s why you have to WORK FOR IT! don’t get discouraged.
(via thindesirexo)
Super proud of my calves 👍🏻
I will not make excuses I will not hate myself I will take care of my body and make sure it is as healthy as possible I will look after my skin I will look after my hair I will exercise I will only eat healthy foods I will take my vitamins I will drink 3 cups of green tea and 2l of water per day I will exercise daily I will be happy I will be kind I will be the person I deserve to be

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
And I can’t seem to lose the weight fast enough.
(via cryingcuts)
The only people up at 3am are in love, lonely, drunk or all three.
3:20 (via deepvsadness)