The Distant Snow and Cold Frost

Song Lan, thrown into the past to fix his wrongs...

Non-selective, mixed canon, human again rp blog.

Follows back from @roamingjaguar

pfp by @coffinseas

(now with tags lol)

She’s truly ecstatic to see him; she’s been looking for him and the others for a good time now, so seeing him here—whole, hopefully, and alive—is the best thing in the world, to her. She stops just in front of him, looking up at him with a big smile; while she’d like to hug him, she doesn’t know if he’d allow her to. 

“I am,” she replies, almost breathless from her rushing over. “And it’s good to see you too, Song-Daozhang! I was so worried I was the only one, I didn’t know you’d also—”

She stops herself, suddenly, as she remembers that the two of them are out in public, so she can’t just go talking about how they’d both been brought back to life just yet. She’d like to keep odd looks thrown her way down to none, if she can help it! So, instead, she shakes her head, and continues another way.

“I’ve been looking for you,” she admits, face flushing slightly; she feels a bit shy, saying that, though she’s not even sure why. “But I’m also looking for Daozhang and Xue Yang, too, don’t worry! Is that what you’re doing, too?”

She’s almost sure that it’s likely he won’t be looking for Xue Yang, and she’ll understand why if it’s the case, given everything that happened, but there is a part of her that hopes she may be surprised somehow. He may as well be aware that it’s her goal, though, even if it isn’t shared.

.

Song Lan blinks when he hears that she’s looking for Xue Yang. “I have been looking for Xiao Xingchen,” he replies. “But I am very glad to have found you also. I...” Should he tell her? Maybe she’s looking for her tormentor so she knows where not to go?

“I have already seen Xue Yang,” he decides to admit. “It’s strange. He remembers... What happened.” His grip longs for Fuxue still. It is more difficult than he expected, to speak of Xue Yang. “And seems to feel... Something. He is living... Back where you used to. The whole city is empty, so I don’t think he will be able to do anyone harm,” he tries to reassure her. “I would not have left him there otherwise.”

Guniang? 

Xue Yang hasn’t been addressed as such in a very long time. The word makes him flinch, and his eye twitches as he scoffs in disbelief, but before he can get too offended over the title, he notices that Song Lan is very much not alright (as if the bush-talking weren’t enough of a giveaway). 

His pupils have grown so much, he has no iris left. He’s shaking slightly and clearly hallucinating. This is no yao, this is a bad trip! But —

Ohhh.

He sees the red-capped mushrooms gathered at the base of a tree and immediately knows what happened. Song Lan left without eating, didn’t he? And that was quite a few days ago now. 

Admittedly, he struggles not to laugh as he approaches. Not because anything Song Lan is experiencing is funny, but more because the scenario itself is so absurd. Still, laughing now won’t help anything, and the little bird on his head is already trying to make a nest out of his hair.

He drops down into a crouch after moving a little closer, and stares at the man’s face. The good thing about this situation is that he doesn’t have to worry about his own feelings, as Song Lan has no idea who he is.

“You need real food and rest. You shouldn’t stay in the woods.”

.

“I- I need to tell him, guniang! I need- But he’s gone, he left, he doesn’t want to see me, not afterwhatIsaidtohimIwassocruelwhydidIsaythat-”

Song Lan can’t seem to keep his thoughts from spilling out. He puts his hands over his mouth, trying to keep the words in, his eyes starting to sting as he hyperventilates. It’s futile of course, even the trees know what he’s thinking by now. They loom shaking their branches in A-Qing’s direction. He turns to her again.

“Guniang, you were with himdoyouknowwherehemighthavegone?”

I pass over water, and pass over water again,

I look at the flowers, and look at the flowers again.

Travelling the river, there's a spring breeze,

Before I am aware, I reach your home.

Source

Transliteration: Cross water again cross water See flower again see flower Spring wind river on go Not aware arrive your home

littleblindmaidenz​:

A-Qing hasn’t been in this town long, but she’s been walking around in hopes that she’ll find someone who can tell her anything; in this case, anything means any sort of info on the people from her past. Thankfully, so far, the people of the town seem lively, so she’d been sure that she’d be able to get at least one person to talk to her. The problem she finds she’s running into, however, is that she’s nervous. It’s been far too long since she’s had to go up to people on her own, so now, she feels just like she did when she was a child new to pickpocketing—unsure of herself, unsure she’ll actually come away with anything, and scared she’ll be caught. What she’ll get caught for in this case, she isn’t sure, but the feeling is there anyway.

Still, she knows she has to keep pushing on despite her feelings; the only way she can gain information is if she does, and her want to know if she’s truly alone or just alone for now overrides everything else. It’s enough to make her square her shoulders and walk around the center of town, asking a few vendors any questions she can. She’s gotten nothing so far, but at least she’s being spoken to by multiple people, which is more than she expected! She’d even managed to persuade someone to give her some food earlier (which she’s already eaten by now), so even if nothing comes out of the day information-wise, at least the whole day wouldn’t be a loss!

She bows in thanks to the vendor she’s currently in front of and goes to turn on her heel, once again not gaining much, when she hears a familiar voice call out to her. It’s enough to make whirl around immediately, her eyes wide first in disbelief and then only growing wider in shock when she sees who, exactly, has called her out—of all her luck, it’s one of the very people she’s looking for: A cultivator named Song Lan!

“Song-Daozhang!” She cries, with almost more excitement than she expects—almost quite literally, as well, as she begins to tear up the moment she sees him—as she begins to make her way to him. He’s here, Song-Daozhang is here!

“Song-Daozhang, it’s me, it’s A-Qing, I—I’m so happy to see you!”

A subtle smile graces Song Lan’s face, lighting up his eyes. While she wasn’t the one he was looking for, seeing a familiar face makes his chest feel lighter. He strides forward, meeting her halfway.

“Guniang, it is good to see you,” he says quietly, taking in her appearance. Her living appearance. Though he doesn’t know exactly when he is, the fact she remembers him, yet lives, means she must have been thrown here too.

“Are you well?”

Xue Yang has tried to put his encounter with Song Lan out of his mind, multiple times. He’s told himself over and over and over again that this is for the best, that nothing good could ever come of the two of them being in the same room, but somehow he always circles back to the hole in his chest, dark and gaping and left behind by the smallest flicker of hope being snuffed out.

No good deed goes unpunished, or whatever, right? This is a fitting punishment; solitude, and the reminder not to mess with things he himself chose to ruin, no matter how long ago and how unstable he may have been.

Truth is, he can’t exactly trust himself not to snap again anyhow, the way things are going. Maybe he shouldn’t isolate so much, get over himself and visit Granny more often. He always feels better when he’s around her, even if it’s only a little bit. If he truly wants to get better, he has to do things to help himself. 

That is why today, he’s going to the market, he’s going to get those damn carrots, he’s going to talk to at least one vendor, and then he’s going to go to Granny’s house. See if that helps clear his mind once and for all. Maybe he can even look for some new, exciting tea blend…

His little bird is keeping him company today, too, and it’s the small animal chirping and flying off that alerts him to the presence of someone else within the forest. The fog doesn’t reach this far out, so he has no trouble following the sparrow through the woods, making out indistinguishable murmurs as he goes, right up until he’s standing a few feet behind —

No. Seriously?

He immediately ducks behind a tree, little sparrow once again on his head, as he clutches his chest and grits his teeth. Why is he here? Why does just seeing him make Xue Yang want to hide away like some sort of coward? And who the fuck is he talking to?

He hears Song Lan say ‘Xingchen’, but can’t make out a response, and it’s this that makes him peek out from behind his hiding spot. If Xiao Xingchen is there, he’ll bolt; they reunited, Song Lan is safe, everyone goes home happy. If he isn’t, though…

And he isn’t. Song Lan, as far as he can tell, is talking to a shrub. Is he bewitched? Is there some kind of creature nearby he can’t make out?

“Song Daozhang?” He calls out tentatively. 

What’s he going to do even if there is something lurking out here? Run to the rescue?

Song Lan falls to his knees in front of Xingchen. He’s late, but not too late, he can still beg forgiveness for his actions. “Xiao Xingchen, I... I’m-”

He’s interrupted by a voice. Daozhang? The last person who called him that... He twists on his knees to find a girl standing behind him, white eyes open but crying blood.

“Guniang...” His own eyes widen, irises hidden by pupils blown wide. “Y-You’re here too?” He looks back at Xingchen to smile at him only-

“Xingchen!” There’s nobody there. He’s gone, again. A bush stands in his place, shaking as if to mock him. “No, no, no, Xingchen, where, why did you go, I still haven’t, I need to...”

It's habit to keep to the woods, but Song Lan knows that he's not likely to find Xingchen there. No, if he was alright- even if he wasn't alright- he'd be where people are, trying to help.

He stops at the edge of the treeline and looks out over the lake, filled with lotus. His journey had led him to Yunmeng, in the middle of summer, and he was starting to miss the way corpses didn't sweat.

Still, perhaps he can find a nighthunt in the next town in exchange for a room and a meal. A bath, hopefully. Otherwise, he'd just have to dunk himself in the lake.

He steps out onto the path, towards the nearby town, and catches something out of the corner of his eye. Song Lan turns, slowly. That is... an awfully small yao... He stares, waiting to see if the creature has noticed him, wishing pointlessly for Fuxue.

Song Lan stared at the entrance to the small town. Was he ready to be near people? He wasn't going to find Xingchen if he didn't look. It takes him a moment more, but he does walk through the gate of the short wall, following the road into the middle of what seemed to be a small town square. A well stood in the center, and vendors smiled and cried out to him and other people who actually might take a look at their wares. Song Lan gazes around at all of the people, looking for a certain set of beautiful features. He catches a glimpse of something else that seems familiar though, and blinks. He waits for her to turn in his direction to confirm it.

She's alive? And here? He steps towards her.

"Guniang?"

Past the fog of Xue Yang’s home, Song Lan finds himself following a road through a forest. His head and heart pound from their confrontation, his mind a mess of spiraling thoughts. Part of him is convinced that he should turn around and demand Xue Yang explain his past actions, but a larger part is focused on ‘what if’s’. What if he really has changed? What if he hasn’t? What if Xiao Xingchen finds his way to Xue Yang? What if Song Lan never finds him? What if he does? What if he remembers what happened? What is Song Lan supposed to say if he doesn’t? What if? What if? What if?

He’s interrupted by his stomach complaining. Ah. He didn’t end up eating the noodles, did he? Song Lan takes a deep breath. Fine. This is fine. He can do this. He can stray off the path a little ways to look for something to forage. He’s always carried his own rations, but it shouldn’t be too hard to find something to quiet his stomach. He searches. And searches. For a forest full of life, not much of it seems edible. The only thing he really finds is a handful of small brown mushrooms.

These are edible, right? They look like the ones Xue Yang picked. Ugh.

Song Lan’s lips thin in distaste. With nothing to cook them with, he’s going to have to eat them raw. He brushes the dirt from them as much as he can, and decides to just eat them all at once and get it over with.

They taste like dirt, despite his attempts at cleaning them. He wishes he had some water to wash the taste away, and sets off parallel to the road to find a stream.

Except the more that he walks, the more difficult it gets. His legs feel rubbery, not moving quite right, and the trees seem to call to him, wanting him to lie down among their roots.

His normally blank face frowns. Was there some kind of array here? Has a yao found him and trapped him in the forest? He turns, and cannot see the road. He turns again and the trees sway towards him. He doesn’t have his sword. He has practically no defenses. How is he going to defeat the yao?

“Zichen.” Song Lan spins. That voice. It couldn’t be. But… “Zichen,” he sees Xiao Xingchen, standing between the trees. His eyes are covered by a white cloth, but he’s smiling. “I was waiting for you.” Song Lan stumbles towards him, eyes wide. He’s here! He’s here in the forest with no eyes, but he’s here! Song Lan found him! His heart races faster than it’s ever done.

“X-Xingchen?” He reaches out, but can’t bring himself to touch. “Is it really you?”

I've got the night shift again tomorrow so like or reblog for a starter! Also feel free to dm me to plot if that's more your jam!