Innerear

Well I'm back. What year it's been. Love, loss, and all the battles in between. I wish I could explain it all but it's a whole book worth. I'll be back soon with more explanation but for now just know I'm decent at best.

Man what a whirlwind it’s been. Everything since june of last year has been chaos. I broke my own damn heart to save myself, you could call it hell. Such a lovely place. My best friend went to heaven because of some douche bag. My mental health has definitely suffered to say the least. I feel so blamed, so overwhelmed, so frantic. I just wish i could’ve made different decisions regarding some of them. I know can't change them. Someone come rack my brain of all this nonsense. 

Sometimes deciding who you are is deciding who you will never want to be again.

I just wish you knew that it wasnt your fault. It wasnt the saying "it's not you its me" but let me just tell you it was mostly me. I didnt heal what needed to for myself and it was a ticking time bomb. Now I sit full of whatifs only realizing it was coulda woulda shoulda. I love you and I hope they didnt break you as much as they did me.