i would want myself, baby

“...oh! Um— thanks! That’s sweet of you, I’ll make sure to have a great day just for you, alright? And if I don’t, I’ll know who to blame~!”

“Huh? I mean... yeah, I guess. Little hesitant to say yes before I know what you guys are planning on doing, but I guess I’m not exactly doing anything else. What’s up?”

From behind Kaede, Yuki noticeably perked up at her name and the mention of the work ‘treat’.

“...why are you so invested in this, huh? Rantaro is dead. This situation is never going to present itself. Why are you bending over backwards to figure out a hypothetical situation where we’d kiss?”

“Woah, okay, chill out, edgelord. Do you need to sit down? Drink some water, maybe? Sorry if you came here for someone to agree with you, but I’m sort of trying to leave the murder-y part of myself behind. For the most part, at least.”

“Aww, I know! Thank you so much! It runs in the family,” Kaede joked, smiling brightly. Meanwhile, Yuki loudly purred, pushing her head into your hand eagerly.

“Is that really the question you want to be asking here? Regardless of what my answer is, would Rantaro even want to kiss me in the first place? Probably not. I killed him. I know he seemed kind of understanding of my situation when you guys revived him and all, but... yeah, probably not.”

“...I just said murder is almost never the answer, and then you go straight ahead and try to push my buttons. Seriously? This is really the best use of your time? Harassing me over my dead friend and trying to imitate him? Grow the hell up,” she scoffed.

“Okay, uh... pro-tip? Murder probably isn’t the answer. In like... most situations. I’ve killed people before. You don’t want to do that for a bag of chips. Trust me.”

“...okay, that was just weird. Plus, I’m not even a lesbian. What part of that video made you think of me? Actually, maybe, scratch that. I’m not sure I want to know.”

“Children? I mean, um… they’re okay, I guess,” Kaede shrugged. “Some people are super weird about this kind of thing, like… ‘Oh, I hate kids, if you handed me a baby, I’d drop-kick it’ or something idiotic like that. Kids are cool, I guess…”

“...what were you expecting to accomplish with this? Making me upset? There’s no other reason you would have used that color. I’ll give you this one strike, but that’s it. Joking about the Shuichi from my game like this is not okay. I won’t tolerate it past this point. Like the other person... is there seriously nothing you could have been doing other than imitating my dead friend?”

“Guess I’ll die, then,” Kaede joked, laughing a bit. “I don’t have his hat. One of you gave it to me temporarily once and that was it. Plus, i don’t want to bother him.”