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@disneybookprincess

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takes long drag of cigarette .....
So... I found this and now it keeps coming to mind. You hear about "life-changing writing advice" all the time and usually its really notβbut honestly this is it man.
I'm going to try it.
I love the lawyer metaphor, because whenever I see βJohn knew that...β in prose writing I immediately think βhow?Β How does he know it?βΒ Interrogate your witnesses.Β Cross-examine them.Β Make them explain their reasoning.Β It pays dividends.
All of this, but also feels/felt. My editor has forbidden me from using those and itβs forced me to stretch my skills.
This is your "show not tell" advice explained!
Editor here.
First, let me preface this with something very important: you can treat all of this advice as SECOND-DRAFT ADVICE. It is so much easier to rewrite this kind of stuff once you have words on the page. Telling yourself the first draft is totally appropriate and acceptable.
What weβre talking about here are FILTER WORDS (and to some degree verbs of being). Yes, βthoughtβ words are included. But so are βheard, saw, looked, tasted, smelledβ etc.βmost words having to do with the senses.
This isnβt black and white advice; sometimes youβll use these words and thatβs okay. Theyβre not WRONG. Theyβre just weaker. And theyβre weaker because they create distance between the reader and the experience of the character.*
If you want your reader to feel like theyβre experiencing the story right alongside the character, you want to cut down on filter words.
*This is particularly important with first person and close third POVs. The reader always knows whose eyes theyβre seeing through and thoughts theyβre privy to. So you donβt need to tell them βI saw X.β Or βI heard X.β Or βI thought Y.β You can just jump into the action/observation as itβs happening.
This is also where you want to pay attention to verbs of being.
βIt was rainy.β Versus: βThe rain pounded against the roof.β Or βThe rain howled like an injured animal.β Or βThe rain tapped against the window like an anxious lover.β All of these are inviting the reader deeper into the experience of the story by using stronger verbs and similes. And, at the same time, they stir feelings (instead of TELLING feelings). And feelings keep your reader engaged. Engaged readers keep turning pages; engaged readers become FANS.
This is also where
you want to pay attention
to verbs of being.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
The most valuable advice that Author Ex gave me through the years that we wrote together was this: the problem with all these filter words is that they create distance in the POV.
That means that when you read a line like
John saw that the curtains were open.
It immediately takes you OUT of the character's perspective and instead tells you what they experience as a secondhand observation.
You don't have to get fancy or purple with how you rephrase things like this. Not everything needs a ton of breathing room.
You wanna know what's perfectly impactful while keeping a tight POV?
The curtains were open.
Simple as that.
"You must complete the HR mandatory safety training"
Me:

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My 25 tried and true tips for how you can defeat distraction, stay focused, and maximize productivity while working from home with ADHD.
My 25 Secrets to Successfully Working from Home with ADHD
I think the "pre" and "post" parts in "preposterous" should cancel each other out but everyone else seems to find my idea completely erous
The thing about being a tumblrina is that you provide such valuable contributions to the broader internet ecosystem and you get zero compensation for that. They should be giving us airline miles
they killed him for this

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I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area theyβve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record Iβm fine with
But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy
Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy
It me
precamrian got the lesbian colors I guess you could call that era a stone butch
adam has the worst luck in the world can you imagine for your whole life having undiagnosed ocd and right when you do start recognizing it within yourself BAM you find out youre also psychic so at least some of what you thought were obsessive thought spirals were actually just you intuiting things that are real. and now you just kind of have to wing it when it comes to differentiating psychic powers and the persistently knocking of mental illness. and one of the visions or intrusive thoughts you keep having is of you killing your best friend. and on top of that you dont even have 15 dollaaarrrrrs
Jean said βHow easily these Trojans fall in loveββ¦ like damn hypocrite have you looked in the mirror lately?
ik the ao3 logo is intended to be an abstract rendering of the letters AO3 but it's so specific that im sure it's supposed to resemble something. but im not sure what it is, all i can see it as is some person frolicking

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i know you said we ride at dawn but iβm not a morning person actually. can we ride after lunch
Clip of Lucy Dacus on the Las Culturistas podcast.