MEG

Aang: I just want you guys to get along!

Katara: NO, because, like, why is he here?!

Zuko: Because I am. Aang invited me.

Aang: Katara, you gotta understand, it’s my decision; I need to learn firebending.

Toph: I mean, Katara, he do gotta learn fire for real.

Katara: You can’t learn firebending from somewhere else?

Aang (incredulous): You want me to get a campfire and learn??

Katara: Maybe.

Zuko: You be doin’ too much, that’s why yo mama dead.

Katara: Yo mama dead, too!

Aang: Aight, aight, like--

Katara: And, and yo daddy don’t love you! So--and he sure ain’t gon’ love you now! You over here coolin’ with the Avatar!

Aang: Well I don’t have no parents, so why we gotta talk about who mama dead, like--

Toph (off-screen): Aang, enough, enough, just stay out of it.

Zuko: Katara, be honest, just be honest--you want me, don’t you?

Aang: Oop.

Katara: (silent fury)

Aang (with the ‘aw shit here we go’ expression): ooh.

Aang: Katara...

Katara: You know what...

Toph: Katara--

Zuko: Oh my--

Katara: WATERBENDING!

Toph: Katara!

Aang: Get her!

Momo: (shrieking in the background)

Toph: That was uncalled for.

Aang: I’m sorry, Zuko!

Zuko: Y’all better get her! I’mma light her on fire like rotisserie, Y’all better get her--

Toph: No, no!

Aang: Okay, can y’all just calm down please--

[Unintelligible screaming for a minute; Toph sounds like she’s trying to tell them to stfu; Katara says something about “we don’t get enough for comin’ up” something?]

Aang: Grab her, grab her! Zuko calm--Zuko! ZUKO!

Zuko (hands blazing): Keep playin’ with me! KEEP PLAYIN’ WITH ME!

Toph (off-screen): Katara!

Katara: I don’t want you, Zuko! I never will!

Zuko (furious): Don’t blow my fire out! ‘CAUSE SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE--(devolves into unintelligible, high-pitched screaming)

Aang: Zuko, cuz, I know, I know--

[Caption start]

*Speaking quickly* So before Halloween I decided to get online and try to look for some abandoned cemeteries.

So I ended up finding one but it was in the middle of the woods so I decided to just plug some coordinates and take a chance. And I found something a helluva lot scary.

As I am walking the path to find this abandoned cemetery, um… *voice getting louder* Hands! Hands! Everywhere!!

By now you’re probably thinking to yourself, easyise, hands don’t just crawl what are you talking about? You would be correct.

Um- SPIDERS! FUCKING SPIDERS! DRACULARACHNIDS THE SIZE OF MY FUCKING HAND!!!

So after pissing myself and driving home, uh- I came home and looked it up on the internet and found exactly what it was I saw.

*Louder voice but not quite yelling* And here it is fam! Uh people like to call ‘em golden silk orb weaver *voice getting louder* but I like to call them NIGHTMARE FUEL DIPPED IN YELLOW FUCKING PAINT.

*Yelling* YOU SEE THE UNHOLY SIZE OF- THERE IS NOTHING AMAZING ABOUT THAT ON YOUR FACE!!

WHAT KIND OF ALIEN VS PREDATOR SCP SATAN SHIT-

IS THAT ONE EATING A FUCKING BIRD?!?!

THIS THING IS LIKE VOLDEMORT FUCKED A DEMAGORGON BUT SURE LET’S PUT IT ON A GREETING CARD!!!

*In a incredulous tone* SATAN DOESN’T EXIST?!?! THEN WHY WAS I MET WITH A FOREST-FUL OF THIS SHIT?

CHECKMATE ATHEISTS!