Hello good evening. I hope this post wont make you feel worse but I saw you while on youtube and that has led me into a rabbit hole and onto your tumblr. I just got light of this whole situation and I'm honestly shocked. I've been up for 6 hours. I really hope this makes you feel better in some way.
I was on youtube today and I saw one of your videos I think? And I thought "wow thats kinda cool". I haven't been involved in the wishes discord community in a long while, I just stick to ask-the-devs. I thought you making videos was pretty neat though so I decided to just say hi and then go about my business.
I put a message in the general chat, something along the lines of "dishbug i saw you on my youtube homepage" and last time I've been involved with the community you were super active so I didn't think to @ you and just sorta left it there. I saw robin(?) typing and I thought it'd be something neato. But the next time I check the chat? That message got deleted. Like instantly. I only left for a few minutes and I was just surprised. Robin told me that you werent in the server and I replied back saying "I swear I saw a dishbug somewhere here", and they replied back saying that you left the server and they wanted to respect your privacy.
I thought "damn but okay" and just kinda moved on. I WOULD have just ended it there but then I remembered beastieball art you posted on Reddit that I saw and wanted to look back at. But then something felt really fishy when I scoured like the entire beastieball subreddit and found literally nothing. I checked to see maybe if I was just confusing it with some other wishes game but I checked those subreddits and also found nothing.
I still wanted to see the art though so I thought maybe I could find something on tumblr? And I looked up your name in the search bar and boom there was your account (I should mention there is still wishes related media on your alt account). I tried scrolling down and just looking for the beastieball fanart but also found nothing, and thats when I stumbled upon your posts about the whole situation.
I apologize in advance for any cynicism or any impressions that I'm against you or indifferent, I'm not a socializer or communicator, I barely talk to people and I try to just stay in the shadows and in my own lane. But I promise that I do genuinely feel bad for you. I'm not good at expressing that or saying it without feeling fake, but please believe that I do think this whole situation is horrible and you deserve better. I don't know any life advice or anything, my problems are still ongoing and I haven't seen "how it ends" for lack of a better term. All I'll say is that maybe I'll never really understand how you feel, but my life has sucked before and it can be unbearable. I want to give you whatever bit of kindness I can muster up in a random tumblr post and maybe I make your next month or even week a little easier to bear
While unraveling the whole situation I remembered an old question in ask-the-devs that I thought you'd find interesting
(sorry im really new to tumblr I think the alt text would work best for this? but I'm worried I might break something so heres text that is a copy of the text from the message incase its too pixelated)
"On the other hand if we take steps such as only ever showing up to punish people, and assume ill-intent for normal mistakes, we erode the trust people have in our judgement, and discourage interaction for fear of not being taken seriously. In the long term, not only does that make the culture less lively and friendly, but on occasions when a real threat does manifest itself, we may miss it because the concerned parties decide to just leave instead of asking for help. In a way, you can say it's a method of building community-wide resilience: positive reinforcement of the peace we wish to see leads to a community more willing to step up for each other and be there to solve problems constructively even when the mods aren't. Despite the fact that the server has scaled up considerably, we've managed to maintain those expectations because we trust everyone here to do their part where they belong. There will always be a problem here or there, but that is essentially what makes the difference between some drama ballooning out of proportion or not. A distrustful community where everyone is already on edge cannot easily bounce back from a conflict being triggered. It is easy to give in to your worst self in an unsupportive environment, no matter how good of a person you are otherwise, so it is up to us to ensure the system itself sets our members up for success."
I think I maxed out the letters hold on
isn't it soooo funny how i never told anyone on the team that im now forbidden from being mentioned in the server now. isn't it sooo fucking funny that if anything i want people to talk about me more so they'd be forced to address this properly now.
deleted the message. not even "oh he's theyre not here anymore!"
i've never gone by they lmfao thanks guys really shows how much we don't give a shit
(sorry it took me a few days to respond to this .i really ,really do appreciate this more than i can explain. but this is still. really fucking with me as of now especially with how the team is now just actively trying to shove it under a rug and still claim that its my fault in any way possible! relaly makes them look good. yea.)