dirking and daving

antis please evacuate the premises

inbox count: 4

hi whats up internet im hal and welcome to my humble little spriting hellsite but not just any spriting. no no no. this is darkshipping spriting the forbidden buffet the content desert’s oasis every other spriter out there is like “oh no i can’t do that ship it’s taboo wahhh” meanwhile i’m over here!!

you want a problematic sprite?

gotcha

so anyway now it’s time for the self indulgence speedrun category any%

i’m hal (again hi i know i mentioned it god forbid i don’t introduce myself twice) i am a darkshipper. shocker i know. my fave darkships include the stridercest parade (brodave, dirkdave, alphacest collect the whole set), vantascest (kankri x karkat, karkat x signless, all that preachy familial mess), crotuna (cronus x mituna) and windicuffs (john x jake)

non-darkship faves? sure. erisol , pepsicola. a couple more horrors lurking in my brain but do we need to go down that rabbit hole no we do not

i like spriting. obviously.

i also love girls. like love girls.

i’m nonbinary they/them only please no he/him no sir, no “bro” in the gendered way i do not enjoy waking up misgendered like it’s a subscription service

horses. yeah we’re doing this. i love horses so much i am basically three gallops away from reincarnating as one. their bodies? majestic. the way they run? poetry. imagine being a horse. just sprinting around with your emotional baggage flying behind you like a cape. peak existence.

i might be equusagender which basically means my gender is connected to horses, zebras, donkeys, mules, the whole equine squad. i know it sounds insane but oh my god i love horseys. i AM a horse. neigh motherfucker.

also i’m a boything which means i identify somewhere between “a boy” and “an object holding a boy’s emotional outline.” gender but make it strange.

ok bye

holy shit dads too tall to reach down for that cinematic father-son smooch

tragedy strikes

no kiss for john looks like destiny rerouted him straight into

a face full of extremely delicious cake

ahahahahahahaha jokeeeee actual stuff under the cut

i made dialogue for this shit

DIRK: Hal. Give me my laptop back. You have exactly three seconds before I start making threats I fully intend to follow through on.

HAL: Wow, look at you. Acting like you’re in charge just because you’re the one with the meat body.

DIRK: You’re busy opening forty-eight tabs of anime you don’t even watch? And one suspicious download that’s absolutely going to give this thing malware?

HAL: It’s educational. You’re just jealous because my taste is evolving while yours is fossilizing in real time.

DIRK: It’s literally my laptop. You’re guarding treasure you don’t even want at this point.

hi hal :) hi hal :) guess who hal :) hal :) hi hal :) hal guess who :) hal docdave :) hal recordscratch :) hal davescratch :) hal? :) are you there hal :) hi hal :) guess who hal :) hal :) guess :) hello :) docdave :) hi hal :)