it took me several extra years to come out as a system because this bitch dead ass told me I wasn't allowed to be a system or theyd never speak to me again while they were my dp (I have DPD) so I just did my best to act like I didn't have it. they said if I had it it was because I was "copying" them.

whenever I front for too long I start to wonder if maybe it was all in my head all along and then I switch with someone and I'm normal again

sometimes I go in the pro endo tag and just block people

I'm going to convince myself that the goal of therapy isn't to get a good grade at therapy

oh I forgot. y'all I got a new therapist. I'm having my second session on friday

all of us try to act like opal and it makes a lot of us not want to front. multiple parts avoid fronting because acting like that is uncomfortable. they're very cheery and don't associate with our trauma and they like being social. i don't like being social except with like two people. it's like she's what we wish we could just be and present ourselves as. we're slowly getting used to masking less with our partner system but even with him I feel like I need to even though Im fully aware that he knows I'm a system and he won't get mad at me for not being the same person all the fucking time