Block After Block...

Serious story time.

From the time I was almost 16 to when I was almost 20, I was in a relationship with the same girl. That’s a long time. There were a lot of things that were really great about that relationship but there were also a lot of things that I do not miss whatsoever. This is a story of the things I’m much better off without.

She was a very insecure person. Her father was a big part of that because he always treated her like she wasn’t good enough. So, in turn, she never thought that she was. She would always think that I was going to leave her for someone younger (she was 2 years older than me) or prettier or skinnier or nicer or whatever adverb you want to slap on there. The constant self-consciousness led to lots of fights, lots of crying, and a hole in a hollow wooden door from my fist.

This insecurity led to tearing me down all the time. Like I was always on some unreachable pedestal. Whenever I felt good about something, there was some flaw that I should be paying more attention to. When I told a good joke about something that had nothing to do with her, she had to tell one that involved something slightly embarrassing about me. 

This would go on and on. One time my best friend made her cry in public by calling her out on it. Needless to say, all this teasing and whatnot caused me to be a little bit sensitive when it comes to that kind of thing. 

Lets fast-forward to these past few weeks.

My friend Dimitri (the one who records audio for my covers) came home from Full Sail University in Florida a few weeks ago. I was really excited for him to come home because he’s one of my oldest friends. I’ve been looking forward to recording some new stuff with him now that he has his degree.

My other very close friend, Kris, gets along with Dimitri very well. Here’s the rub:

On their own, they can both be very serious and kind. They’re good at listening and giving advice on problems like relationship stuff and other things along those lines. Together though? They become a tag team of trolls that tease incessantly.

I can deal with teasing when it’s every once in a while. But when they do it non-stop, teasing about the same thing over and over again, never letting there be a serious moment, my sensitive, scarred side comes out and gets hurt very easily.

Now, I’ve tried to make this known to them. That it starts to sting when they do it so much. But for some reason it just doesn’t get through to them. I just blew up on Kris’ girlfriend on facebook because she was joking around about me being an apparent cock-block at a party we were all at last night. I didn’t mean for it to be purposeful. I just want people to be serious FOR ONCE. AS A GROUP.

Our friendships are not built on jokes. Sure, we all have similar senses of humor. But we all have loves for other things that bind us together as well. Music, video games, food, intelligent conversation, each other’s company…

All I ask is for a little bit of something I’d like to call “acting our age”. Sure, we’re all still very young. But we’re also adults and there are times when we should act like it. We all have jobs now and we’re all trying to hold onto some money. We’ve also talked about maybe getting a place together some time in the near future so we can all get out of our parents houses and start to create our adult lives.

But if they’re going to be like this all the time, I honestly don’t think that I’ll be able to live with them without being grouchy all the damn time. Horoscopes say that Cancers are moody and you rarely see it in me unless I’m upset about something like this. I try to lead as much of a stress-free life as possible, but there are just some people, some things that do not make it easy.

If you read all of this, I thank you kindly. You now know much more about me than you did 10 minutes ago.

Alright fine. Here is my cover of Sail by Awolnation. 

Like I said before, these are far from my best vocals. But it was a lot of fun to completely break this song down and rebuild it piece by piece. And I’m really proud of my guitar solo towards the end.