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i am i am i am.

i’m on my 3rd day in a row calling in sick at work. i hate my job. i’m depresssed. i want to move away and start over but i don’t have any money. i just have this urge to up and leave everything and just go. i think that after today i need to go back. fake it. save as much money as i think i will need and then just disappear to a new town/city/state. i read in a horoscope thing that my sign needs to leave their comfort zone in 2020. what better way to leave my comfort zone than to move to a whole new place?? i’ve been seeing this guy who wants to travel in the fall/winter then come back and work in the summer. as much as i love that idea i cannot make plans around a guy. i need to do what’s best for me. he already left in october to go to arizona but has been visiting for the last two weeks or so. he seems to enjoy it but idk i can’t really tell. all i know is sometime in 2020 i’m getting the fuck out of here. period. i wish people would understand that i’m not running away from anything. i think i’ve lived in this fishbowl of a town long enough to know that i’m a little past “running away” from anything. in small towns like this everything is faced head on. i’m not running away from anything, i guess i’m chasing something? chasing happiness? ehhh who the fuck knows. wish me luck, pray for me, do whatever it is you do, cuz i need it.

2020 already kinda sucks :/