i can’t allow myself to think too much about sensory differences on the erid road trip or i throw up and die. grace can look out at the stars any time he wants. if he wants to fuck around with his telescope, grace can see erid and grace can see earth. grace has a sense of place. for rocky, however, the universe is four rooms wide and there are two people in it

the thing about being bullied for being weird as a kid is that even if you've always embraced being weird your brain is still always looking for the line where it's too much. you can be as proudly and intentionally weird as you want and you can love being weird but your mind is still convinced there's a point where you get too weird and people start treating you like a weird looking bug again. also it feels like you reach that point 500 times a day even if everyone you've spoken to today found you pleasant and likable and even if you're completely alone in your house with nobody looking at you at all.