Is there a name for uhhh… how you spend years picturing your adult life a certain way but then by the time you’re actually grown up the world has changed so much that the adulthood you dreamt of no longer exists

when fiona apple asked “how can i ask anyone to love me when all i do is beg to be left alone”. well i have not found an answer but if anyone else has lmk

the worst part about grief is that it feels like the world should be horrendously earth shatteringly changed, and to an extent it IS but its also the same. to everyone else it's just another tuesday. the world moves on. you have to go grocery shopping.

you ever feel like you were born with something rotten inside you and if people get close enough they’re gonna find out

does anyone miss the specific way that the sunlight used to fall over everything in childhood lol just kidding i am thinking about normal stuff like sending emails

i'm a simple girl: i see sunlight on the water, i find god

i hear the laugh of someone i love, i find god. the setting sun fills my room, i find god. i eat fresh strawberries off the vine, i find god. someone rests their head on my shoulder, i find god.

mutuals in another life I would have loved to smoke cigarettes with you under a flickering street lamp after the local cafe closes for the day

i am eating chips. i am stress smoking. i am a rat behind a grocery store. i am responding to emails professionally. i am avoiding all texts from friends. i am taking benzodiazepines to call my girlfriend. i am relaxed. i am too stressed out to function. i am a boy king. i am treating my spine like a slinky.