I am the little magpie

You heard me.  

Nightjars.

They are the BEST birds.  Don’t come at me with BUT CORVIDS y’all know Corvids aren’t birds, they’re magic.

Anyway.  Nightjars.  Why nightjars, you might ask.  Well let me tell  you why.

I’ve already told you about the Tawny Frogmouth

But there is also the Great Eared Nightjar

Pennant-winged Nightjar

Standard-winged Nightjar. Yes, those are part of its wings. No, I don’t know WTF.

This oddly shaped stump.  haha tricked you!  It’s a Tawny frogmouth and baby.

Lyretail Nightjar.  again, why.  again, no idea.

Australian owlet-nightjar

Swallowtail Nightjar.  Not so fancy?  look again. that mustache.

Not into cute mustaches on birds?

Tell that to this Sickle-winged Nightjar.  

Before it cuts you down with its badass wings.

Hey another stump - wait no it’s a FROGMOUTH

I’m not the first to have come to this conclusion.  

says right there.  BEST BIRD.

Ok whatever Indian Nightjar doesn’t care what you think about it.

Activated charcoal will nullify your meds.

well gee whizz golly I would love to answer this, but I'm afraid you've got your premise completely backwards!

THIS is not engineered to look "cute"; its parents will instinctually care for it no matter how butt-ugly it ends up looking.

YOU are engineered to FIND this cute, purely so that you do not toss your own offspring into a ditch out of frustrated rage the fifteenth time it vomits milk onto your shirt.

that's right, the problem is on YOUR end! human infants spend a HUMONGOUS amount of time being completely helpless and gross compared to the vast majority of other land mammals, so evolution has seen fit to make your brain absolutely overload on Happy Chemicals[tm] anytime you see a creature with common mammalian baby traits, like an oversized head and big ol' eyes! and this is what we call the Cute Response.

and sure, that does mean that you now have this reaction to an absolutely astonishing array of distinctly non-baby creatures as an unintended side effect:

but evolution really doesn't give a shit, just as long as it ALSO results in you not chucking this one into the bushes in a fit of diaper-related frustration.

The Silver Swan, built by John Joseph Merlin and James Cox, 1773.

Luxuria – Lust – Lujuria – Wollust – Lussuria – La luxure – الشهوة – 色欲 – תאווה – 色欲 – अपव्यय – Şehvet düşkünlüğü – Luxúria – блуд – 색욕

Gula – Gluttony – Gula – Völlerei – Gola – La gourmandize – الشراهة – 古拉 – גרגרנות – 暴食 – लोलुपता – oburluk – Gula – обжорство или чревоугодие – 식탐

Avaritia – Greed – Avaricia – Geiz – Avarizia - L’avarice – الجشع – 物欲 – חמדנות – 贪婪 – लालच – Açgözlülük – nāš īni – Avareza – Алчность – 탐욕

Acedia – Sloth – Pereza – Faulheit – Acidia – La paresse – الكسل – 怠惰 – עצלות – 懒惰 – सुस्ती – tembellik – egûtu – Preguiça – леность или уныние – 나태

Ira – Wrath – Ira – Jähzorn – Ira – La colère – الغضب – 憤怒 – כעס – 憤怒 – रोष – kızgınlık – libbāti – Ira – гнев – 분노

Invidia – Envy – Envidia – Neid – Invidia – L’envie – الحسد – ねたみ – קנאה – 羨慕 – डाह – haset – ēnu našû – Inveja – зависть – 질투

Superbia – Pride – Soberbia – Hochmut – Superbia – L’orgueil – الفخر – 高慢 – גאווה – 傲慢 – अभिमान- Kibir – muštarḫūtu – Soberba – гордость – 교만  

i found a bunch of old nasty dragons back from when i was 9-12 and wanted to redraw a few of em - clearly though i was MUCH better at creature design then than i am now, how did i ever think i could top this face

like i’m calling myself out here but i just uttered the words “you did the stretch and now the rare and powerful double pets” (two hands at once!!) to my cat without a trace of irony

like i do not believe my cat understands a word of what i am saying but he absolutely knows my voice and i think also my tone? but also all day i’m just randomly looking over at him like “good boy!” or “are you fluffy?” or singing little songs about his current fluff levels. to an animal. a wonderful animal but a creature who absolutely does not speak english and probably only vaguely is like “this creature is communicating with me” when the strange noises come from the person’s mouth

like i just think about this sometimes

i never wanted to baby talk this cat, i dislike the whole “i am a cat mom and this is my baby” thing, he is a cat, i am a person, and yet i just spend all day talking at him. while typing this he rolled over to show off his tummy and i had to restrain myself from saying “you got a tummy?” aloud. and then i did it anyway