I am Team Emmett

The Cullens all give Bella the “how to seem human” rundown when she’s a newborn vampire and tell her to move around and blink and stuff. Meanwhile Jasper continues to show up to school not breathing and looking like a cannibalistic murderer and literally no one cares because of his ~chill vibes~ he puts out there

You guys think it’s a Midnight Sun announcement on SMeyer’s site, but it’s Twilight rewritten from the perspective of Renesme as one of Bella’s eggs in her left ovary. It’s a romance still, she just speaks using tactile telepathy to make Bella flirt with Jacob for her.

Jasper has always been a Horse Kid™ and absolutely has roughly 20 to 1,000 horses at any given time because he ain't yee'd his last haw yet - and who's gonna fucking stop him? Carlisle and Esme?? The police??? Until god comes down here and nerfs him herself, his horse army will only grow in number, horse power and glORIOUS MAGNIFICENCE, ITS A PERFECTLY VALID HOBBY AND HE ABSOLUTELY DOES NEED THAT MANY HORSES - it just wasn't mentioned because it wasn't relevant to Bella and Edward's active train wreck. It was, however, relevant to Emmett, who immediately convinced him that they should spend at least one summer jousting and doing neat lasso tricks

I love this. It is an exact replica of him