Letâs talk about sex. Or, rather, the way you talk to me about sex. When you tell me that Iâll have to give in eventually to sustain a relationship, youâre telling me that Iâll never be worth the wait or the sacrifice for anyone. Youâre telling me that Iâll never find anyone who truly respects my values and religious beliefs. But more than that, youâre telling me that no one will ever love me the way that I deserve to be loved. Because sex shouldnât even be necessary for a relationship to work. If it is, thatâs a problem. Even when Iâm married and sexually active, there will be days when I donât want to have sex. There will be days when Iâm sick. There will be weeks when Iâm menstruating. One day, there will be kids climbing in bed with my husband and me after nightmares and babies keeping us exhausted all the time. Hopefully, there will come a time when my spouse and I are in our advanced years. When those days come, things may not even work the way they should all of the time, or most of the time. And beyond that, there may be a time when one of us is paralyzed. There may be a time when one of us has a serious disease that keeps us from even feeling okay enough to have sex. Things happen in a relationship- if itâs a lasting one. If sex is necessary to keep a man around, thereâs a problem.
