ELI

She use to be imperfect, when I could look at her closely. I could see her pores, where her eyes weren’t all one color. But far away she’s an angel; it’s getting harder to remember that i knew her.

Maybe she’ll call me tomorrow. Tell me she’s sorry and she knows I miss her. I’ll get in her car and maybe we’ll kiss like i always use to want. We can pretend I didn’t feel what i felt, and she didn’t say what she said.

I’ll pretend I didn’t know what she meant; that I don’t know her better than she knows herself. Maybe i’m just conceited, or obsessed.

This is one of my first published fics and i had the first chapter here, but im moving it to ao3. Please bear with me!

Shelby knew Raelynn hated her, and she didn't blame her for it. Shelby hated herself too. She was gross and unwell and impulsive and naive. She had slept with her teacher. She had believed every lie he told her, and when she realized what she was doing, the only thing she could do was dig a deeper hole and sleep with Raelynn’s boyfriend. Then, like she always did, she ran.

OR

Shelby's life in Atlanta, and snapshots of before she left Helen.

~ Minor Shelby/Raelynn. Mainly just Shelby and her thoughts. All titles are from Lorde songs. Mentions of SA, grooming, and manipulation. ~